Enjoy :D :P

 

The best cricket 'sledges' ever

 

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham:

When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket

with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"

 

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:

As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting

2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it

eating," Cullinan retorted.

 

3. Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes:

After Brandes played & missed at a McGrath delivery, the Aussie bowler

politely enquired: "Oi, Brandes, why are you so fat?" "Cos every time I

f**k your wife she gives me a biscuit," Brandes replied.

 

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:

During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You

can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary:

"Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king

bowl."

 

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv

a fat bus conductor. A few balls latter Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets

please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

 

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies,

Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after

deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me? In

my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he

announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff."

 

7. Ricky Ponting & Shaun Pollock: After going past the outside edge with a

couple of deliveries, Pollock told Ponting: "It's red, round & weighs about

5 ounces." Unfortunately for Pollock, the next ball was hammered out of the

ground. Ponting to Pollock: "you know what it looks like, now go find

it."

 

8. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment, which was

picked up by the television microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a

runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You

don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"

 

9. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by

Mark Waugh. MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out

here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO: "Maybe not,

but at least I'm the best player in my family"

 

10. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste

like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it):

"If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing

throat out."

 

11. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes

to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark "Ohh, I remember

you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're fu*king

useless now". Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was

there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've

married her. You dumb c*nt".

 

12. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman

Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of

his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his

crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good

length. That should do it."

 

13. Ravi Shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't want

to slander anyone) Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this

guy gets the ball in and says "If you leave the crease I'll break your

f***ing head" Shastri: "If you could bat as well as you can talk you

wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"

 

14. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a

couple of times. Marshall: "Now David, Are you going to get out now or

am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

 

15. This involves Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel..... Steve Waugh...Last

Test...comes up to bat... Parthiv-"so this is your last test...show us

some of that famous sledging of yours." Steve-"Respect Me...For when I

made my test debut, you were still in your nappies"

 

16. A classic from the master of sledging, Ian Healy: Ben Hollioake had just

made his debut, hitting Glenn McGrath in the process. On his way back

after finally being dismissed, Shane Warne cried: 'Hey, Ben Hollioake

turned round expecting a pat on the back. Instead Healy came in from behind

and said: 'Get back to the nets, you idiot.'

 

17. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,

and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the

end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I

should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he

replied.

They are class.