Today we start our serialised story, ***Will's First Acting Role!!! written by Jezabel*** it'll be posted in daily segments for your enjoyment, our overwhelming gratitude and thanks to the exceptional talent of Jezabel for letting us read this true masterpiece of entertainment, that has everything a good story needs. :drama: :wub: :o :( :heehee: :hic: :whip: enjoy.

 

**Will's First Acting Role!!!**

 

William Young wearily put the handbrake on his Riley, checked his watch and decided to stretch his legs.

 

It had been a long drive from Hungerford, to the prosperous Yorkshire market town of Frolick-In The-Marsh and he was hungry and tired.

 

He gazed down over the valley. The sun was setting regally over the hills, like a great ruby pendant,turning the evening mist the softest rose pink.

 

It was a beautiful, fragrant night, but Young felt apprehensive. Partly because he was on route to his first job as a vet since qualifying, but also because he could not find a tree big enough to have a wee wee behind .

 

A low growl from the car reminded him that his labrador, Evergreen, was also in the same predicament, despite having eaten his masters marmite sandwiches, Kendal mint cake and one pair of brogues.

 

Pausing to stroke the ecstatic dog's silky ears, he was soon trundling down the valley, ready to meet his new boss, with whom he would be lodging.

 

Mr Fuller was waiting at the door,smoking a cheroot and sporting a cravat decorated with applique beavers.

 

He shook his hand heartily;

 

'Where the hell have you been Young?!. Linda here has been faffing around sacrificing our dinner for the last hour .

 

Linda, the housekeeper, peeked out shyly from behind Fuller's hairy tweed jacket. Young noticed idly the delicacy of her freckled shoulders and the farmers wife swell of her bosom . Things were looking up, possibly .

 

As she helped to carry his luggage in, Linda was surprised she was still upright. Christ Almighty,so this was the new vet . One look at those gorgeous sea green eyes and that sun beam smile and she felt like a brass band was rehearsing in her chest.

 

Dinner was to prove an interesting affair, Cumberland sausages had never held such significance for Linda prior to that evening, but it had to be said that her culinary skills were at best disastrous.

 

Young gazed dismayed at the two sticks of charcol and the molten glutenous blob masquerading as sausage and mash and felt his lovely flat belly rumble .

 

Fuller made no pretence of eating and when offered the scraps, Evergreen very sensibly covered his eyes with his paws and played dead .

 

'Come on my boy' said Fuller, giving Young a pat on the back which very nearly loosened his teeth. Wer're off to the 'Worm and Weasel', Jez knows how to make a steak and kidney pud, which will make your stomach caper with delight

 

'The Worm And Weasel' was a curious little affair. Quaint and glowing, it sported an intriguing array of copper pots and African memorabilia, a strange stylistic juxtopositon, which sat uneasy with some of the locals. It was one thing to bang your head on a copper kettle,

but to be faced with a shrunken head and pickled goats willy in a jar, very near put you off your pint.

 

Jez, a voluptuous predatory blonde , was now the sole owner, having been recently been widowed in tragic circumstances.

 

Always a head turner, Jez had sizzled the eyes of old Pete Waterman, the much loved late landlord. He had wooed her relentlessley with crates of stout, boxes of 'salt and shake' crisps and the odd pigs trotter thrown in for good measure, by his his friend Joseph the butcher .

 

Waterman was besotted and Jez knew that he he was worth a few bob, thus the union was sealed.

 

Twenty five years his junior, Jez was a mighty fine catch. On the day of their nuptials, she emerged from the bridal pony and trap wearing a diaphanous sheath of silk, so plunging and revealing, old Pete very near breathed his last. He was not the only one. Throughout the service, the vicar had been forced to keep the Book Of Common Prayer held at an unusually low and accute angle, in order to cover his obvious admiration .

 

As he raised the book to offer the rings, mad old Ma Sedgeley had to be carried kicking and screaming from the church, screeching something about a serpent in the vicars surplice . She was not far from the truth .

 

For about 18 months they were happy, but Pete found it increasingly difficult to keep up with Jez's feverish demands. Driven by his desire to please her, he purchased a drug which was used on horses, to promote desire for breeding purposes. The effects were startling. The pub remained closed for three days in a row , as Jez reaped the benefits of the stallions narcotic.

 

Sadly, such a powerful aphrodisiac restricted the blood flow to Pete's heart. On the third day, whilst enjoying a frenzied union under the optics, Pete died, literally whilst under the influence.

 

The fire brigade had been prompt, but Jez had found them unbelievablly callous, as they helped themselves to doubles before extracting her from her dead spouse .

 

Now she stood in her pillar box red dress, licking her scarlet lips and gazed upon the glorious young man who followed Mr Fuller into the pub. Surreptiously, she lowered a couple of buttons and flashed her amber eyes, whoever he was, she liked him very much ..to be continued....

 

Jezxx

Thanks suggy & Jez. :D

Urgh, I could have done without the last couple of paragraphs, but otherwise, very funny, Jezabel, thank you! :lol:

Edited August 30, 200717 yr by Toni

:lol: Where did you find this Suggy?

:lol: Where did you find this Suggy?

 

I'm not telling, :naughty: otherwise you'll be reading the last page before everyone else, Jezabel is pleased to learn that her talents are still being appreciated.

**Attention! **I've only gone and posted the wrong part up haven't I? :rolleyes: :blush: I'll take it off now and put the real first installment up, so you'll have to read it again ok? sorry about that error, you just might know I'd c**k it up. :lol:

It's sorted now, enjoy.

**Attention! **I've only gone and posted the wrong part up haven't I? :rolleyes: :blush: I'll take it off now and put the real first installment up, so you'll have to read it again ok? sorry about that error, you just might know I'd c**k it up. :lol:

 

 

Christ - what we have to put up with :rolleyes: :P

Thanks suggy and thanks to Jezebel :cheer: [ that name seems familiar did she used to post on D :thinking: ]

Here's the next episode of our daily story by Jezabel. :whip:

 

Fuller winked at Jez and gazed openly at her Himalayan cleavage, 'Two of your finest Jez please and I'm not talking about those'. He gestured in a mock pantomime grope at her boobies, but Jez wasn't listening. She was watching Young sitting in the amber light of the late evening, syrup coloured sunbeams playing on his heartbreaking profile .

 

Jez approached the table, her luscious bottom wiggling like a piglet under a duvet , in her clinging dress.

 

'Ahhhh' sighed Fuller, breathing in the delicious scent of suet crust and game chips.

 

'God' gasped Young as his elbow tipped a fairytale mound of glistening steak and kidney in the heart of Jez's bosom. He flustered, trying to wipe her down with a serviette and his cheeks coloured in an almost adolescent blush

 

How absolutely beautiful he was!.The way he scratched his dear little nose as he talked, the way he threw his head back and laughed with real joy. Her expert eyes roamed over his lithe firm body and she studied the width of his shoulders in the crisp white shirt. Right there and then, she made up her mind she'd have him.

 

She waltzed back to the bar, picking a small piece of steak from her frontage and chewed on it greedily. Covertly and with calculated cruelty she quite deliberately stamped on the slumbering paw of Chuck, her pet chihuahua . As his yelp split the air Jez feigned surprise. Sometimes needs must, tomorrow she would take him to the vet's.......

 

Next morning , Young awoke to the acrid smell of burning, rising up the stairs in the already stifling air . If the old adage was true, Linda would never hook a man by way of his stomach. Young threw open the window, to see Linda hot and flushed scraping the coal black squares of bread impersonating toast,and attempting to remove two murdered fried eggs from the bottom of a frying pan, with a chisel.He watched her lovely boobies spilling out of her sprigged cotton dress like two 99 ice creams (minus the flakes obviously )and decided she had other assests which redeemed her domestic ineptitude.

 

Fuller was already up and very wisely, had breakfasted on cereal. Leaving Young, far too polite to refuse the infernoed remains of a once healthy slice of bread.

 

'Right Young, here's your itinery. Your first call today will be on Susanne Beest-Broadbottom . Very valued customer, lives up at the hall. Has a ghastly dog, small yappy type German contraption, name of Mr Poo. Make sure you treat her well, give her every attention. Good man'.

 

As Young hastily slung on his jacket, grabbed his bag and set off, eager to make a good impression, Fuller laughed heartily. Susanne Beest-Broadbottom was not called The Furkling Queen for nothing, this would be an interesting call and no mistake.

 

Young began to idly hum a tune to himself as he drove through the hazy heat of the glorious country lanes.

 

As he looked out over foaming white banks of cow parsley and wild roses, already wilting in the sun, his gorgeous voice dipped and soared;

 

'I won't dance, don't ask me,

I won't dance Madame with you'

 

Sadly his choice of song was to prove uncannily prophetic .

 

He steered the Riley up the long tree lined drive to 'Shaft Hall' and took in the sheer sensory delight and extravagance of his surroundings.

 

Sprinklers undulated on the viridian green of the velvet lawns, like good time girls giving a languid show. A riot of sunny honeysuckle and china blue delphiniums merged with the heady scent of dusty pink roses and tobacco plants, he was completely intoxicated.

 

So much so, that he barely noticed the capricious toss of a feather boa and the glint of sunlight bouncing off a sequinned bodice of such epic proportions, it could well have passed for a festooned doric column.

 

As he tinkled the pull bell, a mousey creature scuttled unsteadily to the door. She wore a black and white uniform, which was so seriously awry, it appeared that she had been the object of a party game and dressed in turn by ten blindfolded children playing 'Pin The Uniform On The Maid'.She had a serious cast in one eye, not greatly enhanced by her obvious and disastrous drunkeness at ten am in the morning. It caused her to look wild and unhinged . Even staring straight ahead, she focused 3 miles to the left. Ace did her best to remain upright, as she ushered Young in, but he wished to God she would stop curtseying. In reality, she needed a wee so badly, her sporadic squats and leg crosses, were necessary, in order to prevent a ghastly misdemeanour .

 

As she wildly flung open the door to the drawing room, Young tried not to stare in awe. There stood Susanne Beest-Broadbottom, a dusky Rubenesque matron, clad in a sparkling, plunging emerald green gown and a fluffy pink feather boa, looking like a massive creme de menthe cocktail .

 

A cross between Shirley Bassey and Dawn French, Susanne was a whole lot of woman and she knew it. She batted her feathery false lashes, flexed her bee stung pout and extended her jewel encrusted hand to be kissed.

 

'Why Mr Young' she gushed 'You have caught me unawares, I am still not properly dressed'.

 

Young fought to hold back a look of incredulity, but lost the battle. To deflect attention from his amazed expression, he flirted for England and turned on the full headlamp glow of his glorious smile;

 

'Why nonsense Mrs Beest-Broadbottom, you look utterly radiant'.

 

He noticed somewhat disconcertingly, that she kept rubbing her thighs and flexing her fingers, it was almost as if she was revving up for something....to be continued.....

 

Jezxx

 

 

Thanks suggy :lol:

Jez certainly has a way with words. :lol:

:lol: Oh god - thanks Suggy.

 

This reminds me a bit of one of Jilly Cooper's books.

This is absolutely hilarious! :lol:

Hi Guys :cheer: !!.

 

I can't tell you how bizarre it is to be reading my story after all this time has gone by. I can only remember bit of it myself!. To Susanne, Linda and Ace and all the real people I used, I hope you enjoyed the character you became, because I really enjoyed creating you. Linda, you lucky cow, I seem to remember you scored BIG TIME!!.

 

Jezxx

Edited August 31, 200717 yr by Jezabel

:hi: Jezabel - great story :dance:

Welcome Jezabel. :welcome:

 

Loving your writing.

 

Can I be Linda in your next epic. ;)

Edited August 31, 200717 yr by truly talented

Hi Guys :cheer: !!.

 

I can't tell you how bizarre it is to be reading my story after all this time has gone by. I can only remember bit of it myself!. To Susanne, Linda and Ace and all the real people I used, I hope you enjoyed the character you became, because I really enjoyed creating you. Linda, you lucky cow, I seem to remember you scored BIG TIME!!.

 

Jezxx

 

Hi Jezabel, :hi: and a big welcome to buzzjack, I'm glad you made it over here, I remember when I first started reading your story and I couldn't wait for the next episode to go up, brilliant stuff.

:hi: Jezabel - great story :dance:

 

 

Hi Munchkin!

 

I'm having a little laugh to myself as bits of the story are coming back to me and I remember what happens :dance: . I used to write this in longhand on a notebook at work in my lunch hour and type it up in the evening. I hope to God nobody ever found it in my drawer :lol: .

 

Jez XX

 

Hi to everyone!! . This was the second epic I wrote on the O/S. the first was set in Africa and included just about everybody on the forum in one way or another and I seem to remember David Sneddon made a traumatic guest appearance, infact, I think he pops up in this one too.

 

The second story theme was chosen by the people involved and an All Creature Great And Small type story was the favourite suggestion. In the first story, poor old Jez never got a look in, because every night I had O/S members begging for a piece of the action :D .

 

Mind you, Jez might think she's going to finally reach nirvana in this story, but I seem to recall, things don't go exactly her way :naughty: ......................

 

Jezxx

The African one sounds a hoot, it's a pity you haven't saved it Jez, or have you? :unsure: