Posted May 5, 200619 yr Noel's rock 'n rule book http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e272/handsomeman/562f0fc0.jpg Rocking good sport ... Noel NOEL GALLAGHER has delivered a hilarious masterclass in how to be a rock star. The OASIS elder statesman is back in the UK after touring with latest album Don’t Believe The Truth. And a new interview, where he takes a pop at brother LIAM, fellow stars and even the Welsh, goes to prove Noel is the godfather of British rock. It is such a refreshing change from “stars†afraid to say anything even mildly controversial after having “media trainingâ€Â. Noel kicked things off by flexing his muscles over JAMES BLUNT. The guitarist joked: “Did you see the rich list? I wasn’t in it for third year running. James Blunt has supposedly got nine million quid. “Right. He’s only been going a year! I’ve been going 12. “I’ve spent a lot on sweets but I should have more than nine million quid in the bank.†Noel’s biggest fear is that he might go bald. He said: “It’s a fear of any Mancunian. Our city was built on barnets. “You can’t really say anybody’s come out of Manchester with a **** haircut. “MORRISSEY’s was pretty good. But it’s not really a Mancunian cut because it rains a lot up there and it would get a bit flat.†His biggest hatred  which I share  is for musicians who complain (unless it’s about other people who complain of course). Noel said: “I hate people moaning about being famous. It sends out the wrong messages to kids. “Whingeing rock stars are the worst. Being a rock star is the greatest gig ever. It beats being a footballer because you get to do it for longer.†And Noel is no fan of the Welsh  who get both barrels. He said: “The ones you meet in London are all right but the real ones are a nightmare. “For starters you can’t understand a word they say. “When they’re asking if you’ve got a cigarette they could be calling your mum a ... you know ... a *****hawk or something like that you.†Noel’s funniest lines, as ever, are reserved for Liam. The older sibling said: “For a guy who is probably one of the funniest people you will ever meet, he actually has no sense of humour. He’s never told a funny joke in his life. “When you take the **** he has this weird look on his face, like a dog having a ... †You get the picture. Noel’s interview, with MTV’s Russell Brand, can be seen on the station on Sunday at 8pm. He is joined on the sofa by a midget to test a strange theory. He said: “A friend reckons if you stroke the nape of a midget’s neck it brings good luck.†It’s hard to see how he could have more good fortune than he’s had already. Edited May 5, 200619 yr by Scotty.
