It's the Arctic drunkies

 

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ARCTIC MONKEYS are getting the hang of rock ’n’ roll life — they hammered NOEL GALLAGHER in a drinking contest.

 

The OASIS legend was so smashed girlfriend SARA MacDONALD had to help him home after a tequila slammer session with the Sheffield lads.

 

Last week I printed a masterclass from Noel on how to be a rock star.

 

But the godfather of rock now appears to be more of a grandfather when it comes to hellraising.

 

Monkeys bass player ANDY NICHOLSON — the big lad in the band — took Noel on at London’s Brixton Academy.

 

Noel explained: “I ended up in their aftershow and the bass player goes to the bar and comes back with this tray of tequilas.

 

 

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Arctic Monkeys ... mad for it

 

 

 

“Normally when somebody asks if you want one you say ‘no’ but this kid just went up and bought them. I thought ‘I can’t be drinking that, it’s nearly two in the morning.’ I couldn’t say no though because I didn’t want to let the side down. He was banging them down. I was about to urinate.

 

“I was speaking to my missus through semaphore to get her off the dancefloor and rescue me.

 

“She came over saying ‘we’ve got to go home’ and I was acting all surprised, saying ‘What, already?’

 

“I can’t remember getting home.â€

 

Noel and brother LIAM were well known for heroic drinking feats back in their heyday. But it sounds like Noel has let the old guard down against the second generation of Britpop.

 

And I reckon that’s bound to be good cause for Liam to have a go at his big brother.

 

Especially as Noel has revealed Liam’s latest drinking habit.

 

He said: “Our kid drinks tequila and milk.

 

“He thinks it lines his stomach so he can drink more. The only problem is he says his wee hurts in the morning.â€

 

Noel also gave a little insight into his bedroom antics with Sara when he was quizzed by Six Music presenter RUSSELL BRAND.

 

A listener emailed asking if Noel still had a mattress he sold him a couple of years ago and comedian Russell joked it must have seen some “hellish exploitsâ€.

 

Noel laughed: “I beg your pardon? Hellish? It’s just straight-up erotica. I don’t flail around with bats or that. Or those whip things they set on fire on the beaches in Ibiza.â€

 

I can’t imagine there was much erotica after a night on the tequila . . .

 

 

good read.

 

thanks