Posted April 6, 200817 yr Ok, here is something I stumbled across, a hillarious Girls Aloud + Sugababes review on the song + video of 'Walk This Way'. :lol: : This week Anna watches and despises ... Walk This Way - Sugababes vs Girls Aloud! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let me begin by saying what a very good thing Comic Relief is. It's a great fundraising medium, it taps into a whole new vein of charitable donations, it's an institution, a powerful way of delivering a serious message, and you can find out more about how to donate, experience or even join in on the Comic Relief Red Nose Day homepage. Comic Relief: It's great. Right. Now that's out of the way, let's look at the official Comic Relief video and how shit it is. I mean, even the concept's shit. You hear the words "Walk This Way by Sugababes vs Girls Aloud", and you think "Blimey! What a shit idea!" but you can truly have no idea HOW shit until you've seen the video. Trust me. I've seen it. It's shit. Let's start from the very beginning. http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/titles.jpg "COMIC RELIEF presents ..." it says. Which quite naturally leads to the idea that whatever follows those words is going to be comic. Funny. Amusing. Something. Then the familiar chords strike up, and the heart sinks. Just hearing the beginning of Walk This Way prompts the happy expectation of being led into the classic Aerosmith/Run DMC version. Instead, we're greeted by two pretty ladies standing either side of a wall trying to look mean. In an interesting indication of the power-pop palaver that is to follow, and an attempt to pump up the musical suspense as well as the volume, a beautifully manicured hand rolls over the dials of an amplifer, twiddling all the knobs at once... http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/amp.jpg Brilliantly, though, the hand rolls from right to left, turning all the knobs anti-clockwise and the volume, judging from the amps I've known and loved, all the way down. Rock And ROLL, people! Girls Aloud are in the house! Quietly! Or rather, they're in the dressing room. Sugababes are also in a dressing room, and can be seen turning a dial (although UP, this time, so well done them). There are clear dressing room tensions. Not only does there seem to be a slight problem with soundproofing (though you wouldn't think that would be much of a problem for Keisha and the girls), but it looks like the Sugababes have been given a much nicer backstage dosshouse as well. http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/dressingrooms.jpg Oooh, the tension. Girls Aloud are looking surly, or in some cases (Yes, Tweedy, I'm talking about you) even more surly than usual. The Sugababes look grumpy too, which is slightly ungrateful, as their dressing room is lovely. Still, I think they are all acting, a bit, so I should give them credit for that. It is very impressive. Still acting, the Girls Aloud women start the song off with a couple of lines. With both bands basically being thrown at you at once, the suspense of the original video concept is shot to $h!t. The fun and originality of the Run DMC and Aerosmith version came from the concept that stalwart traditional US rawk was being usurped by the young upstart of hip hop. Here we are asked to give a c**p about the conceit that a bland blend of girl-pop is being challenged by the terrifying counter forces of ... some other girl-pop. Come on, what's funny about this? Sugababes vs The Horrors? Now THAT I would have paid to see. On screen, some thin women are complaining in half-hearted fashion about noise pollution. http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/wallthumping.jpg The original song, we discover, has been updated and improved by a breathy intoning of "Walk this way we're gonna talk this way, walk this way we're gonna talk this way..." - a missed opportunity I'm betting Run DMC are simply kicking themselves over right now - and by the fact that the tune has been completely and utterly Aguilera-ed. See, when Christina or one of her ilk are doing a cover, they customise it by freestyling a couple of lines of the original song and singing not-quite-the-tune, but something around it. When you've got people who are only singing a couple of lines each and so do that on the only lines they've got, then you end up with a whole song of random-tonal wibbling, and no one singing the tune at all. Ever. We cut from the Sugababes singing a couple of lines to Girls Aloud singing a couple of lines. "He told me to walk this way! And talk this way!" they posture and squawk in quasi-American lady-drawl. Who told you to? Who is behind this? Is it Louis Walsh? I knew it ... http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/cashpoint.jpg Someone makes a hole in the wall with a mic stand. The blonde one. One of the blonde ones. It is a dramatic moment. Detracting from the dramatic moment, slightly-odd-looking- red-haired-Girl-Aloud keeps sliding down a wall. She has been doing this repeatedly throughout the video. I'm not sure whether a) it's supposed to be attractive, or whether B) she's cleaning up some of the nasty mess that the others are creating, or if she just c) has an itchy bottom. It could be anything. Apart from the first thing. http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/nicolarse.jpg And while she's busy doing that, the others are taking turns to pull pouty faces through the hole that has been created in the wall. The 'action' moves to a catwalk. http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/catwalk.jpg It seems that being told how to 'walk this way' has been interpreted very literally by the girls to mean being told how to CATwalk this way. *Sigh*. There is a painful half-rapped section - though when I say 'rapped', think the talky-bit at the beginning of All Saints' Never Ever rather than, say, Snoop Dogg. The one non-painful bit is one of the Sugababes being solidly British in accent, which is lovely, and only goes to show up the rest of them. They throw the mic around. It hits no one on the head, which is a shame, as that would at least be funny. http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/mic.jpg Speaking of funny, which I just was (see above), it is important to note that nothing, NOTHING that could be called 'funny' has actually happened in this video as yet. Which is weird, really, since it's meant to be a 'Comic' Relief video. Didn't these used to be funny? Now, I'm not saying that Bananarama were the epitome of cool, or that Hale and Pace are comic heroes in any way, shape or form, but there was, I remember, at least a time when comedians and pop acts (or Chas and Dave, whatever) worked together to create a reasonably amusing video, or at least a stab at one. (Can I just reiterate at this point what a GREAT thing Comic Relief is, and how you can donate or find other ways to get involved here. Thank you.) http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/help.jpg Just when was it that our pop stars became too po-faced and precious to poke fun at themselves or have fun poked at them, even in a charitable cause? It's pathetic. They pick the most 'marketable' bands that they think will make the most money for Comic Relief, and ignore the fact that they're too much in the business of being pretty to become even slight figures of fun. It's stupid. After all, who made the most money for comic relief last year - You've Got a Friend, the official Comic Relief single by McFly - or the unofficial (and 7 weeks at number one) Is This The Way To Amarillo by Tony Christie (lip-synched by Peter Kay, who apparently poos gold)? Did that not show them ANYTHING? Meanwhile, the catwalk posing goes on. Girls Aloud and Sugababes stalk up and down looking preened and pretty, apart from one moment where Girls Aloud break into a bit of high choreography that includes the international symbol for 'Up Yours'. http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/upyours.jpg Is that meant to be funny? I mean it is a BIT, but I'm still not reaching for my chequebook. I am, in fact, merely searching the house for strong alcohol, which is surely not the intended effect. Suddenly, a mere 45 seconds from the end - 'comedy'! The pouting pop-minxes are, in semi-second bursts, intercut with comedians (well, Ruby Wax), various actors, TV presenters and supermodel Lily Cole walking up and down the catwalk in various hilarious ways. http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Music/Pix/pictures/2007/03/08/hilarity.jpg I give up. If this tragic travesty is comic relief then kill me now, or at least fetch me the number of whoever deals with the Trades Descriptions Act as applied to video. Or just kill me. Killing me is fine. (But don't kill me, of course, before I have the opportunity to visit the Comic Relief Red Nose Day site and donate money or get involved in some way, what with it being a great fundraising opportunity and all of that. I want to support you, Comic Relief, I really do, but for the love of God, throw me a bone, will you?)
Create an account or sign in to comment