March 1, 201015 yr Author Received this email today and it made me laugh :lol: These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No , I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis , does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do.. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes , voodoo. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20 , much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you $h!tting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? 0AWITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral... _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. :rofl:
March 23, 201015 yr Author Not exactly off topic as it is Elvis related but aaaahhhh :wub: Elvis the wild sea otter to be honoured A Scots fishing village made famous by the children's TV programme Balamory is to honour Elvis - a wild sea otter. The friendly mammal with the famous name was found dead under an upturned boat in Tobermory, on the Isle of Mull. During his lifetime, Elvis had become a local celebrity and was a favourite attraction with tourists. Mull's Sea Life Surveys has set up a memorial fund for Elvis and a local councillor has called for a statue to be erected in his honour. http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y48/elvis1959/otter_elvis.jpg Slicked hair - Helen Chalmers, who runs a bed and breakfast in Tobermory, told BBC Radio Scotland that Elvis became famous for "his ease" around people. "Elvis seemed to be particularly comfortable with people watching him and was quite happy pottering about the main street of Tobermory with the tourists and the locals," she said. Mrs Chalmers said the otter was given his name as his hair was always "slicked back" and "he was a bit of a performer". She added: "I've spoken to some wildlife experts and they say that when one (otter) passes away then the territory is open for another to come along and take their place. "Maybe he's left some baby otter that might come along and fill his shoes." (Odd Spot, Source: BBC News) Visit EIN's Odd Spot page.....wacky, weird and unusual stories from the Elvis world http://www.elvisinfonet.com/oddspot.html
October 19, 201014 yr Author I've not been around for a couple of weeks as I've had a major PC problem. Not entirely fixed, but hopefully well on the way and at least now, I can get on the internet so Hi guys!! I've missed you :yahoo:
October 20, 201014 yr I've not been around for a couple of weeks as I've had a major PC problem. Not entirely fixed, but hopefully well on the way and at least now, I can get on the internet so Hi guys!! I've missed you :yahoo: PC problems, so annoying!! You were missed. Greta
November 29, 201014 yr Author Friday night at the Paul Weller gig at the LG Arena and as usual, he put on a blistering show :yahoo: I'm a huge fan of his music and been to see him so many times and he never disappoints :cheer: Here's a taster from the night B) -pyFqb6lIV0
November 30, 201014 yr Friday night at the Paul Weller gig at the LG Arena and as usual, he put on a blistering show :yahoo: I'm a huge fan of his music and been to see him so many times and he never disappoints :cheer: Here's a taster from the night B) -pyFqb6lIV0 Can imagine you had a great night,like his music too!! Greta
December 7, 201014 yr Author This is not exactly off topic as there is an Elvis link :cheer: The song is pretty cool too! Elvis link in new Coldplay Video One of the hottest bands for teenagers these days, is Coldplay. With Christmas coming up fast, they just released the video clip of their X-mas song "Christmas Lights". And sure enough, Elvis is seen in the clip too. Not one, but three of a kind. There were three Kings, remember? :yahoo: z1rYmzQ8C9Q Published: December 6th 2010 09:31 PM. Source: ElvisMatters / Published by: ElvisMatters
December 23, 201014 yr Wish You All A Merry Christmas! Enjoy it with your loved ones. Hope the link works. Greta http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/preview/...166187/graphic1
December 24, 201014 yr Author Wish You All A Merry Christmas! Enjoy it with your loved ones. Hope the link works. Greta http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/preview/...166187/graphic1 That was lovely, Greta, thank you :dance: I wish you and your family, a very Happy Christmas too :D
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