I love it already, but the video will make me love it even more.

I think it's definitely a grower, but the "I Just Can't Enough" will stick in your head if it's on radio/TV all the time and I guess that's what they were going for.

The Saturdays: built in a lab to crush Girls Aloud

Guardian.co.uk

09/02/2009

 

How difficult is it for a manufactured five-member girl band to seriously succeed in today's pop landscape? Knowing how crystal-clear the following analogy will make it for readers of this column, Lost in Showbiz would say this: it's basically as hard as it is in modern cricket for an off-spinner to achieve the dominance of yesteryear. Covered pitches, a Cowell-soloist-dominated marketplace: so many things make it hard to see how the scorched-earth ascent of The Spice Girls or Jim Laker could be replicated. Certainly not without a suspect bowling action.

 

Let's abstain on the question of whether the ladies pictured above are chuckers, as you will doubtless be plagued by more basic inquiries. Like, who are these five sirens, beamed with increasing frequency into my home, armed with only their radioactive stage-school ambition and the complete set of Topshop's 80-denier coloured opaque tights? Why are they gaining traction on the weaker of my neurons? And does their landing of the official Comic Relief single mean they are now launching their land offensive?

 

The answer is that they are The Saturdays, they have you in missile lock and, at this stage, resistance is looking fairly futile.

 

Yes, you've been conned before into making subprime emotional investments in bands such as Precious, Hepburn, or Girl Thing. But with each industry failure the process is refined and The Saturdays are the latest attempt at creating a sort of ckin2u-scented Justice League. Forged in the hellfires of Polydor's labs, they were created by a crack team of the record label's scientists. Many of these men are former CIA boffins now on the run from the agency, and lead a twilight existence, growing prospective female band members in petri dishes.

 

To fashion The Saturdays, the labcoats took two former members of S Club Juniors, proving that there are second acts in manufactured pop lives - though they're still likely to end when you're 25. The rest of the band are replicants (basic pleasure model).

 

Polydor, of course, is also home to Girls Aloud, whom The Saturdays supported on their recent tour, but eventually pledge to crush, a bit like those baby spiders who eat their mothers.

 

"Eventually we want to be bigger than them," say the band, "but at the moment we just want to go head-to-head with them."

 

To this end, the girls have scored the cover of this month's FHM. I know what you're asking: is FHM still going? Well, there's a pulse. But it's in a persistent vegetative state. The current issue features an Anthony Worrall-Thompson recipe for cheese toasties. "In an effort to reduce the amount of processed carbohydrates," begins Woz, "I've cut out the top slice of bread."

 

Anyway, the mag loves The Saturdays, explaining that group member "Una Healy's gift for reading music lends a veneer of Noel Gallagher-style credibility to the band."

 

Does it, FHM? Does it really?

 

Whatever, Polydor have boiled the girls down to character types with slightly less complexity than an emoticon, and designated spokesdroid Frankie is charged with getting this part of their message across to future fans.

 

"Rochelle's got her head screwed on," she tells FHM in a short monologue which may or may not be flashcard-assisted. "She's the mum. Una likes a good time. Mollie's bubbly. Vanessa gets confused. And I tell you how it is."

 

How is it, Frankie? "I hate my hips." As for which of them is the analogue for football war bride Cheryl Cole, that remains unclear. But rising rugby star Ben Foden is already seeing Una, who explains: "Ben's agent got in touch with my agent who then sent me an email asking if I'd like to meet with him."

 

And this week their management booked them to appear at HMV's Football Extravaganza party - a kind of dating eugenics which will probably result in one of them being treated shabbily by Jermain Defoe.

 

Then there's the Comic Relief single - a cover of Depeche Mode's Just Can't Get Enough. One pound from each purchase goes to the Failed Girl Band Victims Support Network.

 

What's next? Please! You already know the path, which leads inexorably to an October interview in which the band are required to reveal their views on punitive justice, taxation, and next year's election, allowing each Saturday to claim her spot on the section of the rightwing political spectrum that stretches from capital punishment for stealing to the castration of all sex offenders. Face it, huddled masses: The Saturdays are starting to look like an entertainment inevitability. The best thing you can do is tune out or submit.

 

I read that the other day. An absolute waste of an article. She could've made a valid point but instead she just threw in as many long and ill-fitting words as she could locate in the dictionary...

I read that the other day. An absolute waste of an article. She could've made a valid point but instead she just threw in as many long and ill-fitting words as she could locate in the dictionary...

I know, it becomes tedious once you get half way through it. :lol:

 

And plus, it tells me everything I already know, that they are manufactured. Meh who cares, the fact that they've made a crap song even crapper is an accomplishment if you ask me, even by the Saturdays standards.

OKAY.

 

THE.

 

VIDEO.

 

IS.

 

INCREDIBLE.

 

Makes the song 10x more amazing, it seems to have been sped up for R1 (that might just be me though) so it seems to fit more as a song with the video - it sounds so much better in HQ. This song is NO DOUBT going straight to number 1.

THE BEST VIDEO OF 2009 (SO FAR)...

Edited February 9, 200916 yr by coolnav

THE BEST VIDEO OF 2009 (SO FAR)...

...and cue the "When you have a weak song, remember, sex sells" comments. They certainly aren't short of skimpy outfits in the video! :lol:

 

I want to like this but it makes it seem like "Womanizer" isn't repetitive.

I actually love the video, good silly fun.

The video IS comic relief.

Well it just to happen didn't it, after slagging this band off, against the odds they come up with their first single that I like.

 

I actually prefer it to the DM original.

 

But maybe that is not surprising seeing as the producer also produced remix of their last single which I think is far far better than the dull original single mix:

 

The Saturdays - Issues (Vince Clarke Remix)

 

.... And the video is great too full of colour & humour.

 

One thing is certain, it is far far better than last years Walk This Way monstrosity.

The video is so whorey! :lol: It's fun though and suits the song.

 

Rochelle and Una look great. Vanessa, Mollie and Frankie all look far better without that much make-up on.

haha love the video! fun sexy colourfull definitly not boring after seeing lots

The video is great, really grabs your attention.

 

Love the video and the song just get's better on every listen.

I don't think the video IS whorey. It's cute and it's suggestive but not overly-slutty at all. Pretty well-judged in fact. :P They are stunning girls. Now might be a good time to point out the sheer inaccuracy of Russ' 't*****' comment!

I think it's definitely a grower, but the "I Just Can't Enough" will stick in your head if it's on radio/TV all the time and I guess that's what they were going for.

 

unfortunately you are right... it is one that will get in yer head and eat yer brain away.

 

 

The Saturdays: built in a lab to crush Girls Aloud

Guardian.co.uk

09/02/2009

 

How difficult is it for a manufactured five-member girl band to seriously succeed in today's pop landscape? Knowing how crystal-clear the following analogy will make it for readers of this column, Lost in Showbiz would say this: it's basically as hard as it is in modern cricket for an off-spinner to achieve the dominance of yesteryear. Covered pitches, a Cowell-soloist-dominated marketplace: so many things make it hard to see how the scorched-earth ascent of The Spice Girls or Jim Laker could be replicated. Certainly not without a suspect bowling action.

 

Let's abstain on the question of whether the ladies pictured above are chuckers, as you will doubtless be plagued by more basic inquiries. Like, who are these five sirens, beamed with increasing frequency into my home, armed with only their radioactive stage-school ambition and the complete set of Topshop's 80-denier coloured opaque tights? Why are they gaining traction on the weaker of my neurons? And does their landing of the official Comic Relief single mean they are now launching their land offensive?

 

The answer is that they are The Saturdays, they have you in missile lock and, at this stage, resistance is looking fairly futile.

 

Yes, you've been conned before into making subprime emotional investments in bands such as Precious, Hepburn, or Girl Thing. But with each industry failure the process is refined and The Saturdays are the latest attempt at creating a sort of ckin2u-scented Justice League. Forged in the hellfires of Polydor's labs, they were created by a crack team of the record label's scientists. Many of these men are former CIA boffins now on the run from the agency, and lead a twilight existence, growing prospective female band members in petri dishes.

 

To fashion The Saturdays, the labcoats took two former members of S Club Juniors, proving that there are second acts in manufactured pop lives - though they're still likely to end when you're 25. The rest of the band are replicants (basic pleasure model).

 

Polydor, of course, is also home to Girls Aloud, whom The Saturdays supported on their recent tour, but eventually pledge to crush, a bit like those baby spiders who eat their mothers.

 

"Eventually we want to be bigger than them," say the band, "but at the moment we just want to go head-to-head with them."

 

To this end, the girls have scored the cover of this month's FHM. I know what you're asking: is FHM still going? Well, there's a pulse. But it's in a persistent vegetative state. The current issue features an Anthony Worrall-Thompson recipe for cheese toasties. "In an effort to reduce the amount of processed carbohydrates," begins Woz, "I've cut out the top slice of bread."

 

Anyway, the mag loves The Saturdays, explaining that group member "Una Healy's gift for reading music lends a veneer of Noel Gallagher-style credibility to the band."

 

Does it, FHM? Does it really?

 

Whatever, Polydor have boiled the girls down to character types with slightly less complexity than an emoticon, and designated spokesdroid Frankie is charged with getting this part of their message across to future fans.

 

"Rochelle's got her head screwed on," she tells FHM in a short monologue which may or may not be flashcard-assisted. "She's the mum. Una likes a good time. Mollie's bubbly. Vanessa gets confused. And I tell you how it is."

 

How is it, Frankie? "I hate my hips." As for which of them is the analogue for football war bride Cheryl Cole, that remains unclear. But rising rugby star Ben Foden is already seeing Una, who explains: "Ben's agent got in touch with my agent who then sent me an email asking if I'd like to meet with him."

 

And this week their management booked them to appear at HMV's Football Extravaganza party - a kind of dating eugenics which will probably result in one of them being treated shabbily by Jermain Defoe.

 

Then there's the Comic Relief single - a cover of Depeche Mode's Just Can't Get Enough. One pound from each purchase goes to the Failed Girl Band Victims Support Network.

 

What's next? Please! You already know the path, which leads inexorably to an October interview in which the band are required to reveal their views on punitive justice, taxation, and next year's election, allowing each Saturday to claim her spot on the section of the rightwing political spectrum that stretches from capital punishment for stealing to the castration of all sex offenders. Face it, huddled masses: The Saturdays are starting to look like an entertainment inevitability. The best thing you can do is tune out or submit.

 

spot on, this is the REALITY of this manufactured, money making project.

 

THE BEST VIDEO OF 2009 (SO FAR)...

 

vile..... there was absolutely NO NEED to perform in their underwear... stooping to the lowest denominator, flash the flesh get the pervs to buy it.. <_<

 

Well it just to happen didn't it, after slagging this band off, against the odds they come up with their first single that I like.

 

I actually prefer it to the DM original.

 

But maybe that is not surprising seeing as the producer also produced remix of their last single which I think is far far better than the dull original single mix:

 

The Saturdays - Issues (Vince Clarke Remix)

 

.... And the video is great too full of colour & humour.

 

One thing is certain, it is far far better than last years Walk This Way monstrosity.

 

you like the sats 'just cant get enough'?

 

that remix is good, almost euro-trance!

 

It IS the best music video of 2009 so far, fact!

I love the video, I find it visually interesting, there are lots of different things to look at and towards the end, it's funny. Song is growing on me too!

The Saturdays are ultimately the dregs of the music scene. All they churn out are covers or cheap generic songs given a modern beat. Produced on a shoestring and packaged neatly up for the current crop of unsuspecting teens for maximum profitability. The definition of manufactured drivel for the musically uneducated. Sometimes the results are pleasant enough in passing, but ultimately readily disposable.

 

Will Young and Leona Lewis possess outstanding vocal ability; an art form in itself so already have something of discernable value compared to the casting call drones.

 

 

I’ll tell you why, while this manufactured puppet dross clogs up the chart because of the way it’s cynically marketed, talented acts that write their own music and are in control of their creative direction are struggling to break through.

 

Now I’m not adverse to a bit of The Saturdays their music is a bit of disposable fun. However I am savvy enough to see the greater picture and put them into context. I hardly see how voicing an opinion on a public message board detracts from your enjoyment of their music. If you just want to read unadulterated love for them take yourself off to The Saturday’s forum, end of.

 

Best posts on this tread? Scrap that - best posts I've read on this site for months.

 

Perfectly well said, Ethan.

 

It IS the best music video of 2009 so far, fact!

 

says who?....

 

utter rubbish, besides the song being cack, the video is utterly drab.. theres nothing special about it but it highlights the desperation the sats have for fame...