Qassändra

I need this HOT INACCESSIBLE SHIT in Tel Aviv!

Spirit In The Sky is obviously the GREATEST THING SINCE BRAIN DAMAGE

Hey loves hey *.* Last week was one of the worst heats I can remember in EVER. That said, I can't even pretend that I'm not all over Anna Bergendahl's HOT REDEMPTION ANTHEM (soon to be exterminated by a YouTuber in AC NEAR YOU) which has been ON REPEAT CHEZ QASS ever since they took the SIMILARLY hot Wiktoria perf off SVT Play (and of course, I am thus far backing our yelling queen to promote hydration to the youth across Europe in Tel Aviv for Sweden come May, though that is all subject to change depending on how incredible Tempo is this week) (I am fully expecting to switch allegiance to Tempo this week)

I don't think any one age group is more susceptible to political influence than another - they're just susceptible to different kinds of influence.

Eurovision is SAVED!

:D!

1 - Emmi Christensson - Icarus - MOVE OVER La forza - what an ODYSSEY! *.* This is the Aninia follow-up I was desperately hoping for this year. Other than throwing a reindeer onto a funeral pyre live onstage this could honestly do nothing more to shamelessly pander to the Västerbotten wasteland vote that powered En värld full av strider to the final - apart from maybe drafting in Jon-Henrik HIMSELF because actually the more I think about it the more this is totally dead on arrival in much the same way THAT would've been if it had been an Aninia solo number. Anyway, this takes me on a complete spiritual journey start to finish (those "AYO"s on BVs in the verses!) and the ludicrous money note + key change combo immediately puts this in contention for my song of the season. 2 - Mariette - For You - A total headphones track - the intricacies and layers of the production are so satisfyingly moreish and there's so much going on. I have my reservations on whether the "for you, for you" hook is good enough to win it all (which is a slight disappointment coming from the songwriter behind Rhys - Too Good To Be True and Kelly Clarkson - Stronger), but the middle eight is sensational and so long as she doesn't make a complete w*n**r of herself onstage like the rehearsal clip hinted I think this could still potentially be in with a shout. 3 - Olivia Eliasson - Never Learn - YES! What a COMPLETE BANGER! *.* This could be a Clean Bandit hit tomorrow and given they've basically SAVED POP for the last two years that is HIGH COMPLIMENT indeed. I'm living in hope she'll be more at the Zara Larsson end of the performing spectrum but even if she's more towards the Adelén end this is still likely to be exceptional value 4 - "FELIX SANDMAN" - Every Single Day - Even short of the fact he was by far the most likely-seeming one of FO&O to have ever had heterosexual sex, this is actually very good for what it is so sadly I think it's going direkt. Fingers crossed the audience poll was a hint that it isn't a winner in the waiting. 5 - Felicia Olsson - Break That Chain - Look it's derivative as f*** but I can't pretend that a part of me isn't rooting for this failed Jordin Sparks career renewal, even if I think a Sanna Nielsen take on Killing Me Tenderly was a spectacularly ill-advised way of going about it. Look me in the eyes during that key change. Don't tell me you don't feel at least a flicker of the old religion when she does those ad libs. 6 - Elias Abbas - Mitt paradis - There is a word for the kind of person who wants to spend their Saturday nights watching a 16 year old covering Behrang Miri. 7 - Rolandz - Fuldans - It sounds like someone threw Proud Mary, dansband and Leto svet into a blender. I'd have preferred it if they hadn't and if this qualifies Sweden and I are falling out.

1 - Jessica Andersson - Party Voice - The collective spirits of Charlotte Perrelli, Alcazar, Anna Book, Linda Bengtzing, After Dark, Shirley Clamp, Lena Ph, and every single 20-something man Alexander Bard has held hostage for a supergroup over the last 30 years have all united behind schlager's last hope, the only 40-something woman that Sweden doesn't hate, armed with the first signs of self-awareness for the genre in years - "now I'm the greatest cliché" / "I'm gonna dance like a mother" *.* I went into seizures of joy when this exploded into the final chorus - and the way it's constructed as the do-or-die last stand for schlager gives away that this was totally spiritually intended for Charlotte but she knew she had to sit this one out. It'll be the canary dress down the mine that this kind of thing won't qualify for anyone anymore if the heart doesn't come to life once for Sweden's Botox sweetheart, but whatever happens I'll definitely be screaming hysterically tonight 2 - Mendez - Everyday - This is AMAZING! The RedOne version of Despacito I never knew I needed. If anything sending this to Melodifestivalen feels like it wasn't even the best decision - this could've been a hit first and the best Eurovision finish for Spain in years second. 3 - Kalle Moraeus och Orsa Spelman - Min dröm - He looks like the most MISERABLE TOAD EVER and it's laughable that the mindset behind staging this could be reduced to "look they liked that Hasse nonce with the flowers and folk dancing just give the peasants what they WANT" but either way it's still completely magical. I always wanted to like Himmel och hav more than I actually did last year so this upgrade is WELCOME 4 - Moncho - Cuba Libre - I'm just really pleased Severine Ferrer's transition is going so well 5 - Barbi Escobar - Stark - It's credible and all but I spent the whole 2:30 just wanting to listen to Party Voice again 6 - Dotter - Cry - Yes I have heard Julia Michaels - Issues thank you! 7 - Martin Almgren - A Bitter Lullaby - Oh GO AWAY

Party Voice in full (DM FOR DEETS HENS) is the PERRELLI/BWO HOOKUP WE NEVER DESERVED!

And Mendez is FUCKING AMAZING AND ALL HEAT OF LIFE!

Party Voice is the DOG'S FUCKING CUNT and MAKE NO MISTAKE! *.* There is NOTHING more important in this world than a 40-something blonde woman with no discernable personality/wrinkles until this point singing an ode to GETTING ON THE COKE AND DANCING LIKE A MOTHER OF TWO over the top of a CHEAP HUNG UP REHASH and THAT'S A FACT

No I can't really believe it EITHER

1 - SHUFFLA 2 - In My Cabana 3 - Kamferdrops 4 - All The Feels 5 - Dance You Off

OVER THE MOON for Samir & Viktor!

It's basically Shuffla for scurvy victims. AMAZING *.*