Umi

Personally I've got to the point where I'm kind of willing her to bomb. She's just not capable of making interesting music with big producers so I'd really like her to go back to the smaller fish. Hell, I'd be pretty happy with another full Starsmith album given the apparent alternative. I miss being a huge fan but I really can't fathom anyone loving Delirium. It's just so useless when people like Taylor and Carly Rae do the same thing significantly better and with a lot more heart. I love pure pop but I can get it from better places than Ellie Goulding albums and it'll feel less cynical to boot. Maybe the next album will be a change. Every album so far has sounded totally different so...

Hey now, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with coming back with a cover! 15 years ago this wouldn't have been entirely surprising. I kind of like that she's doing a cover for that reason - Tulisa's solo career has been early 2000s in just about every way, so this fits perfectly. Not heard the song and I don't think I ever will but I think she should be commended on trying if nothing else! I don't think she'd still be going if she didn't care about making music.

The video is pretty good but I don't like it as much as you guys - I'm not certain that sexual biking is really a thing and it takes a long time for the video to really evolve beyond that. I like that they went with a concept as outright weird as that but beyond the concept being funny I don't really like it. The Ariana x Nicki scenes are really great (which is fitting given Nicki's rap is my favourite part of the song), though. I don't really like the song much, so it's hard to get behind the single but I think it's going to be really big, it sounds like exactly what people want from Ariana in 2016. Just wish my favourites from the album could be released :( The more ballad-like songs on Dangerous Woman are so incredible but they're just not singles.

She's a sneaky one.

Don't get too excited about HDD figures, there can be nasty surprises with them when the figure is 100%. Sometimes the last 30% will give basically nothing for some albums while giving tons for others. Brit will probably be #3 but don't go crazy if she's below Frank!

The current position of the song is really fantastic, it gives hope for the song growing. Very steady #2 on iTunes which could easily last until Thursday, at which point the performance on the Today Show should stabilise it. Spending such a large amount of time at #2 on iTunes will be fantastic for radio's assessment of the song. The Spotify progress is amazing - not sure what it'll be like tomorrow but going as high as #22 is huge, even staying around there would be great. Radio is the only thing letting it down but a positive update today gives some hope, and if it's positive again tomorrow I think we'll likely be looking at good things. There's no guarantee that it'll be positive tomorrow, of course, but radio will be making their final decision on this song soon so any sign of them liking the song is good. I feel like I'd be jumping the gun to talk about its global success but I'm interested to see what'll happen if/when it goes top 50 on global Spotify. It's a pity she's quite hamstrung by Vegas because international promo will be really useful at converting US hype to international success. There's so many promo opportunities for the major markets coming up where she could do one performance and leave it at that. X Factor for UK & Ireland, NRJ Awards for France, BAMBI for Germany, etc etc.

I feel like Greta doesn't really have a leg to stand on when it comes to people ripping each other off.

It has got something of an iTunes boost already! Gone up 4% pretty much immediately. Should be quite comfortably #2 for a while!

I liked it quite a bit, I'm a bit disappointed that there's so much negativity towards it from a lot of fans. It wasn't spectacular, and I'd have liked it to be (the start was quite creative and interesting, so I honestly thought they were gonna go all out), but I thought the style of performance was great. She looked sexy and cool, choreo was pretty good and the chemistry with G-Eazy was there. My only complaints about the performance relate to it basically seeming a bit underbaked. The projections weren't used as well as I hoped (excellent at first, but then nothing), the interactions with G-Eazy occasionally were rather lazy/uninspired (I feel like the crotch-grabbing will take away attention from the better elements of the performance, unfortunately) and it felt just too short. It needed one more interesting thing and I think it would have been great. The song probably needed more than it got, but it wasn't a bad performance by any means. I liked it a lot and I think Britney should be happy with it.

She looks absolutely stunning. Not one complaint about that dress.

'Perfume' has a video that suffers a lot from stuff that was at least somewhat out of its control. First of all, there's the obvious - people expected a different, more exciting video. People didn't want pretty, uneventful Britney when they had heard about a video involving Britney as an assassin, a stalker, shooting and so on. Honestly though, I think the main thing is that people hated 'Perfume' both as a song and a video because when it came out, it was obvious that the era was in need of major help and neither the audio nor the visual were strong enough to do that. There was a lot of resentment because Britney needed something to get people excited, and nothing to do with 'Perfume' was exciting. I'll be honest myself in that I'm willing to believe that a lot of my negative feeling towards 'Perfume' comes from wanting something better, and associating the disappointment surrounding that song with the disappointment of the Britney Jean album. It's a boring video, but I would probably look at it much more positively if it came at a happier time of her career. I just didn't need something so uninspiring at a time when being a Britney fan was already difficult. I needed her to wow me.

The effect from carpool is pretty strong. She might scrape into the US top 10 before the VMAs.

I heard it'll be on YouTube around 1am, so 6am for those of us in the UK.

'Breathe On Me'. I can't see how it wouldn't be one of her more remembered songs now if it had been released.

Hype! This should be a bloodbath. Predicting 'Make Me' out first.

Yeah I struggled basically from the start. I figured it only made sense for her to be saying "J'oublie" but she sneaks in some 'é' noises and it's just messy. I find a lot of the pronunciation problems endearing though, and I'm glad there's a French Britney song even if it's not perfect. On the note of Languageney, I don't suppose you know what the languge in the MOTM middle 8 is? I'm getting Italian but nobody else seems convinced of that so I wonder if I'm over-confident. EDIT: That's also a question for Liam! I know you are great at Italian.

Thank you Hurricane <3 That's great. @Tyler I forgot to say that one thing I love about 'Invitation' is that her vocals are heavily edited on it, but you can tell that's actually a stylistic choice rather than albums like BJ/FF where it felt like they just had something to hide. Her vocals are very natural on the majority of the album so 'Invitation' is a misleading opener in that sense, and I like how it contrasts in how her voice sounds.

Wow that's so long, sorry! Don't read it unless you really want a review cos it's not interesting. @Hurricane, I don't suppose you could help us with the lyrics to 'Coupure électrique'? I'm struggling and I can't tell if that's because she's pronouncing things terribly or not.

I have basically no idea how to format an album review so I'll try to be somewhat concise but I'll just do all the songs 1 by 1. 'Invitation' is really beautiful, I think it's the best I've ever heard her sound on a ballad track. It's not a proper ballad, but rather an electro-R&B ballad, but it still feels more emotional than most of her actual ballads. It's really really gorgeous and so vibey and sexy. Pretty perfect. 'Make Me' is still pretty perfect. Couldn't fit in any better with the rest of the album either. 'Private Show' kinda stands out. I think a lot of people would disagree with me here but I don't really think this is an album it should be part of. Still the same song we've all heard but yeah. 'Man On The Moon' has been called a better 'Alien' by a lot of people but from what I remember of 'Alien' it's not that similar. The latter lyrics of the first verse have some of the very best delivery on the album, you can tell she is putting her heart into it. Chorus is really stunning again, and the production is surprisingly clever. She doesn't sound sad at all but the lyrics are really crushing, which is a nice contrast. You can picture her mascara running down her face while she sits on a bed really easily here. Then there's the - wait for it - probably Italian middle 8, which concludes in what I would say is the most dramatic/epic moment of the album by far. That's breathtaking. Amazing! 'Just Luv Me' disappointed me, I have to say. I never thought the snippet sounded incredible so I'm sure if you liked the snippet you'll like the song, but it felt way too ploddy to me. Interesting note here is that earphones are pretty essential for the production in the chorus to really come through. It feels like the most commercial song on the album but I don't think it's strong enough to be a good single regardless. It just doesn't progress or vary or anything, and I think she sounds dull here. 'Clumsy' is so underrated!! Again we all know what it sounds like but it's really a jam, I love it. It's like FF/BJ but with at least some personality and decent vocals. 'Do You Wanna Come Over?' I honestly want this to be the second single. It feels like a good representation of the album (certainly its themes) and it's easily the most performance-friendly song on the album. So much potential for Fierceney with this. 'Slumber Party' is so classically R&B, it's a really refreshing listen and sound for her to do. Her delivery in the first verse reminds me of someone that I can't remember, but it also is *very* Britney to the point that the person it's reminding me of might just be older Britney. The lyrics feel very Britney here (candles during sex! of course) and it's nice to hear Swearney. This feels like the sexiest song on the album, I think. There's a lot of parts to this that consistently take the song higher. 'Just Like Me' isn't really for me but I do like a lot about it, it's just kind of boring me. The chorus is a bit too repetitive, just like 'Just Luv Me'. The production in the chorus is really nice and ~chilled~ but I don't know if that really suits the song. The middle 8 is great lyrically/delivery-wise, it's like 'Perfume' with more intensity. What I will say in favour of this song is that I appreciate the vocal style being so subtle. I never have too much fondness for Britney's emotional songs because the delivery can feel a bit tryhard ("I AM SO SAD CAN YOU HEAR IT IN MY VOICE?"), which makes them feel quite fake. This is a song about something very upsetting that's confident in expressing that level of upset without needing to scream it in your face. She doesn't give any big ballad vocals but you can still tell how she feels and I like that. 'Love Me Down' is great. Really really shallow but I like it, it's something she would have made like, in 2006 or something. Sexy and boppy but not too much to say about it beyond that. 'Hard To Forget Ya' scared me a bit cos it felt a bit Britney Jean ('Now That I've Found You' came to mind) but it's actually nothing like that. This song is so happy and I don't think I've heard her have so much fun on a song for a long time. Highlight of this is the "Somethin' boutcha, boutcha!" in the chorus which is just so euphoric. It's great to hear her singing like this again. This song should probably be played at excessive volumes. 'What You Need' is the first song on the album to have "MAY" in it so it's great for that alone. The first artist that came to mind was Duffy, which is not a huge compliment, but then I don't really intend it to be one. The instrumental is just quite irritating to my ears and... yeah. Pass. It feels like they were really just f***ing around with this. "That was fun!" is a great line to end the album on though, I'll give it that. 'Better' is really really nice, I guess tropical house is the genre you'd give it. I'm a bit iffy after BJ for Britney to be releasing songs quite as ~trendy~ on this but my God is it a jam. Amazingly danceable and I can't believe it's on the deluxe. Lyrics are cute and whoever produced this should be proud of themselves. 'Change Your Mind (No Seas Cortés)' SPANISH-SPEAKING QUEEN. This is basically exactly what you'd expect it to be ("Spanish-sounding" guitar and sunny synths), but I think that's the perfect thing for it to be. It makes the naturally campy idea of Britney randomly singing in Spanish even camper and that's exactly what the song should be. This is one of the songs that made me want to dance most on the album. 'Liar' is kind of epic but not really the sort of music I care for. It's kind of pop-rock (like an electronic, angry Kelly Clarkson) with random "twee" (is there a better word?) production to make it stand out a bit more, but personally I'm happy it's a bonus track. It's worse than most songs on the album. 'If I'm Dancing' brings back Britishney kinda except without any of the fabulousness Britishney once had. This is incredibly, incredibly boring. The production is quirky and all which is nice but it's chilled to a huge, huge fault and I just don't get any value from it. It has one fun moment (a spontaneous "Did you get that?"), but otherwise I kind of spend the whole thing wanting it to end. It wants to be a relaxed, ~cool~ dance song but just ends up being kinda sleep-inducing. 'Coupure électrique' could well be her weirdest ever song. I can't quite decide if her pronunciation is terrible or not, so I'm a bit confused by the lyrics, but the basic point is just that she gets so caught up with the man in this song that the rest of the world seems to "black out". It doesn't feel like a song Britney should be making, which is a good thing because that's a testiment to just how different it is. The production is super super cold, which is cool. This is definitely a novelty track but honestly it's nice to get some of those. Overall the album is unsurprisingly fantastic, and comfortably better for me than everything since Circus. It's also probably better than Circus, which would put it in my top 3 Britney albums. It's an impressive album in that I'd say it has the cohesion of Blackout while having variety more comparable to the two albums that came either side of Blackout. Her vocals are great and should bring a lot of happiness to people who miss how she sounded before the breakdown, and there's no Myah Marie so that's nice. I'm not sure there is a Britney album that feels more like Britney, which might be inaccurate of me but I thought even on ITZ she didn't have that much agency on what she was doing. It's a really good listen that shouldn't ever feel dated like Femme Fatale (which was also amazing on first listen) did, and perhaps more interestingly it gives a lot of hope for what's to come after this.

I'll do a full review a bit later on! Should I try to avoid giving too many details about the songs? Cos it'll be spoiler-heavy otherwise.

You're honestly going to die on Friday Tyler. Like, really.

omg likelyitalianney though!!

Invitation: 10/10 Do You Wanna Come Over?: 9.5/10 Make Me...: 10/10 Private Show: 8/10 Man On The Moon: 8.5/10 Just Luv Me: 8/10 Clumsy: 9/10 Slumber Party: 8.5/10 Just Like Me: 6/10 Love Me Down: 8/10 Hard To Forget Ya: 7/10 What You Need: 6/10 Better: 9/10 Change Your Mind (No Seas Cortés): 9/10 Liar: 9/10 If I'm Dancing: 6/10 Coupure électrique: 8.5/10 Super strong start, meh middle, great finish. Spanishney and Frenchney are FABULOUS.

Kind of share this sentiment. She doesn't seem to do anything except tarnish her first two albums for me these days. She bitched about 'Starry Eyed' when this came out and it was seriously baffling. If she could make a song with as much heart in it as that again it'd be a miracle.

I would have cried if they'd titled the French track 'Coupure électrique' but I guess they weren't gonna go -that- authentic. Looking forward to all the foreignlangugeney on this!