James Silkstone

Also, a quick note from me this will be the last review until Monday 23rd June as I have exams starting next week and pretty consistently over the following fortnight

W/E: 17/07/2010 JLS - The Club Is Alive YiunXTVBOe0 Ewww. Yolanda Be Cool vs. DCUP - We No Speak Americano CR8logunPzQ Remember when I was thinking that I’d maybe severely underrated 2010? Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking and clearly I’d forgotten about this turd of a... Is it even a song? Nope, I prefer to think of this as a collection of noises and an annoying disrespect of the silent film industry in its video This is good for one thing, and one thing only, and that is the dance from The Inbetweener’s movie in a years time. But even that only seemed to remind people that this existed – JUST AS THEY WERE STARTING TO FORGET. Sorry, but I can’t even say the novelty war off of this for me – as it was never there in the first place 3OH!3 feat Ke$ha - My First Kiss AYC2FUutdKA Did we all have musical lobotomies this week or something? Jesus Christ, this is probably my favourite of all the songs that entered this week and I still wanna launch it into the sun. I liked 3OH!3 back in 2009, especially ‘Don’t Trust Me’ and I liked ‘Starstruck’ too but this one just doesn’t do it for me. Ke$ha sounds more wasted than normal, the guys sound like 17-year old stoners (and look like them too quite frankly), and at least tell us more details of your first kiss if you’re going to bother releasing a song about it Did it end at the kiss? Who was it with? Where was it? How old were you? Why do you feel the need to tell us? There is a chance for emotional depth, back story and humanization here guys – take it! When you’re best known song lyrics are ‘If you’re boyfriends got beef, tell I’m a vegetarian and I aint f***ing scared of him’ then you need that depth No, but in all seriousness this song is bad. My first kiss was at an ice skating rink with a girl named Rachel when I was 12 just incase you were wondering. Which you probably weren't

W/E: 10/07/2010 B.O.B feat Hayley Williams - Airplanes kn6-c223DUU Oh how overplayed this became amongst people my age! Seriously, I was on a bus coming home from school one day and so many people were playing this on their phones that some kid decided to just unplug his and play it for the rest of the bus. I can see why we all found it so brilliant; At 14/15 you think you’re very grown up and deep thinking (No one more than me, I was taking GCSE Philosophy & Ethics at the time) and the fact that ‘Airplanes’ is deep but shallow enough for its message to be decoded by teenagers made this insanely popular, and we all thought we were being deep Now, as a song ‘Airplanes’ really aint half bad at all – B.O.B does what he does with conviction and Hayley Williams sounds simply delightful during her chorus. I’d actually be tempted to say that considering how popular this was for so long its actually been somewhat forgotten. Still, play it to anyone my age and they’ll most likely look back with a slightly embarrassed smile on their face as they remember making a bit 40 Facebook statuses consisting of the chorus lyrics. Good times. And I was psyched to see Hayley bag herself a number one, kinda, I just wish Paramore could have the same success. Or even a top ten single! Enrique Iglesias feat Pitbull - I Like It X9_n8jakvWU ......And the rot sets in. God, this is everything I hated about the dance-pop movement, and yes it was a movement, embodied in one song. Lazy and clichéd lyrics mixed with over auto tuned vocals and the general presence of Pitbull and all the time you’re wondering how the hell Enrique managed to end up like this OK, he was very unlikely to ever repeat the critical and commercial success he’d received with ‘Hero’ a decade earlier but that’s no reason to turn into some kind of crappy club anthem creating douchebag who’s lyrics revolve all around sex and partying. 2002 Enrique is very disappointed with you 2010 Enrique. 2002 Enrique treats girls with respect, he wants to be their hero whilst 2010 Enrique encourages girls to cheat on their boyfriends with him. Maybe he’s out of town working so he can afford to take her on a nice holiday? Ever thought of that whilst you were trying to get your leg over Enrique? No didn’t think so Man, he’s like the Benjamin Button of emotional maturity Kelly Rowland feat David Guetta - Commander dwfKZ-1jyiw Oh I shouldn’t like it but I do. I just feel sorry for Kelly Rowland, had she not been in a band and overshadowed by Beyonce I feel like she would’ve have been a much bigger star. The talent in there, and it’s just a shame she had to fall into second place. Then again, she’s luckier than Michelle who is fed scraps every so often and the other three girls who I assume are locked in some basement somewhere. I mean, Kelly’s probably at least been allowed to look at Blue Ivy (Still a stupid name, I don’t care who her parents are) Considering I just called Enrique out for going from deep and heartfelt to clubby douchebag, I should really do the same for Kelly. After all she did start out her solo career singing about school shootings or suicide.... I think, that’s what seemed to be going on in the video for ‘Stole’ anyway. But the difference is, I truly believe Kelly belongs here and she sells ‘Commander’ in a way that is much better than Enrique does ‘I Like It’. Kelly is flawless in her deliver here, you end up truly believing she is your commander. I think as long as Beyonce doesn’t find out Kelly’s getting ideas above her station she should be fine continuing in this vain.

W/E: 03/07/2010 #1: Katy Perry feat Snoop Dogg - California Gurls F57P9C4SAW4 And so, as Gaga reaches the end of her imperial faze Katy Perry begins her with possibly one of the most ridiculous but weirdly brilliant songs she’s ever done. Written as a Californian response to Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind”, I doubt ‘California Gurls’ makes the most positive of messages for the state. Or is it meant to be tongue in cheek? I’m assuming the latter is true, but I don’t think I care enough to really find out She’s capable of much better than this for sure, and superior songs from the future ex-Mrs. Russell Brand are on the way but I can enjoy ‘California Gurls’. It’s summery, fun and yet another of those songs I just find so overwhelmingly positive I can’t bring myself to dislike and I love Snoop here. No masterpiece, but with the amount of positive reviews I’ve been giving lately has made me wonder if I’m unfairly judging 2010 on just a few hum dingers. Because this is just summery pop fun. #8: Eminem feat Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie uelHwf8o7_U And yet another song making me think that I’ve underestimated 2010, ‘Love The Way You Lie’ was at the time probably my favourite Eminem release since ‘Lose Yourself’ some 8 years earlier. A lot of people I know prefer funny Slim Shady-esque Eminem but for me his brilliance comes with his more serious endeavours and ‘Love The Way You Lie’ is no exception. Taking domestic abuse and destructive relationships and making a hit song about them is no easy feat but Shady pulls it off and the song is brilliant because of the conviction, belief, anger and a kind of self hatred present in his voice here. And that’s not to take any credit away from Rihanna, who delivers fantastically here and the knowledge that she tragically does know what she’s singing about does make this all the more effective and real. For me, Eminem is and always will be one of the greatest musical superstars of my lifetime and I hope to god future generations know of and remember him. I may go over the top in my love for things sometimes, but this is just evidence that Eminem was back and he was back to his best. It may have been brief, lord knows I was a little disappointed with Marshall Mathers 2, but it was glorious

W/E: 26/06/2010 #3: Example - Kickstarts T9yGcKlYAiw Oh, and joining ‘Water Colour’ and ‘Stereo Love’ in the fight for best dance track of the year is this little gem from Example. ‘Kickstarts’ is an absolute tune and probably to this day still his finest hit; music you can actually dance too and he pulls off the singing/rapping thing so incredibly well it’s hard not to find this song charming When the verses end, the ‘might be holding your hand, but I’m holding it loose’ and the build up to the chorus are all brilliant but nothing quite beats the ‘And the love Kickstarts again’ followed by the INSANELY brilliant instrumental. Just amazing, and yeah consider me a pretty big fan of Example from this point on for about two years #4: Kylie Minogue - All The Lovers frv6FOt1BNI VERY UNPOPULAR OPINION WARNING: I. Do. Not. Like. This. Song. A shame really as at the time of writing I can’t imagine I’ll be getting to review any other Kylie songs for the remainder of this thread (at the time of writing I’m assuming ‘Into The Blue’ won’t be smashing, still have yet to hear it anywhere). Because, I do like Kylie and I’d like to give this song a glowing review but... I just don’t like it Granted, I’m not really sure why I don’t like this song to be honest because I really should do. It’s Kylie, and it’s dance-pop. Those ingredients alone should make this absolutely brilliant for me but for whatever reason it always leaves me a little cold and I much preferred ‘Get Outta My Way’ to be honest. I’m aware this is a very unpopular opinion and this is generally considered one of Kylie’s finest in years but I’ve just never felt it. It’s not totally terrible, I’m just not sold on it for whatever reason. #8: Robyn - Dancing On My Own CcNo07Xp8aQ Oh now this is absolutely wonderful, probably my favourite song so far. Robyn, like Kelis, is I feel one of the most underrated and underappreciated artists of our time (much more so than Kelis to be honest). In a time when crappy dance pop seemed to be taking over, as we delve further into the summer you’ll see, here comes Robyn with a mind blowingly good dance pop number ‘Dancing On My Own’ is just wonderful and an absolute pleasure to listen too. It’s a song about loneliness, jealousy, unrequited love, bitterness, sadness and blends all five of those strong emotions so incredibly well thus making it the most human of all the songs reviewed so far. The instrumental, Robyn’s vocals, the music video, the pure tragedy in her voice and the fact that its all so relatable make this perfect. We’ve all been there, seeing the person we love or think we love with someone else and just feeling like you’ve had all the stuffing knocked out of you. Maybe I’m overselling this a little, and I’m gonna go as I could literally talk about how much I love this for days. #10: Lady Gaga - Alejandro niqrrmev4mA Now, over on planet Gaga things aren’t getting any less over the top and ridiculous and to be honest it’s all wearing a bit thin by this point. 18 months of chart domination, I think we were possibly all ready for a break from the new ‘Queen of Pop’ – and it did look that way back in 2010, not so much now, but back then she really was shaping up to be the next big long lasting pop star There’s no doubt Gaga was a breath of fresh air when she arrived on the scene, the pop scene needed someone like her to give it a kick up the backside but for me there was only so much weird eccentricity I could take before getting a bit bored. I always think over elaborate music videos are made 99% of the time because the song they’re made for is a bit shit and the artist/puppet masters need to cover that fact up. Now, Alejandro is by no means a bad song, it’s perfectly enjoyable as pop songs go but I think I was always destined to be a bit bitter to this song when the glorious ‘Dance In The Dark’ was passed over as a single. But Alejandro does just plod along a little, and as a song its probably my least favourite single of hers up to this point. Gaga will be back, but its good to have a break from your favourite new toy every once in a while

W/E: 19/06/2010 #1: James Cordon & Dizzee Rascall feat Shout For England - Shout sHq3vy_7cJQ Ah, the world cup. Here is my summary of what happens every 4 years: 1) “we have no chance” 2) “Oh, our group is actually pretty easy” 3) Win first match convincingly 4) THIS IS GONNA BE OUR YEAR! 5) England struggle through group stage, just get through 6) Lose to Germany on penalties Yeah, a pointless repetitive excersize by now and I have no doubt 2014 will be an exact repeat. There’s nothing really to talk about with this song; it does its job of drumming up support for the squad, even if it does spend half its time namedropping players, but I’m honestly not sure what to say about it. It’s no chore to listen to I’ll admit, but I can’t imagine many actively choose to listen to it anyway. In terms of World Cup Songs that year ‘Waka Waka’ and ‘Waving Flag’ were much better #2: Tinie Tempah - Frisky E6-KdTIi_Ek I have to say Labrinth, well his voice anyway, has been one of my favourite new artists of the decade. He pretty much makes any song his featured on, even if his solo stuff (bar Earthquake) leaves a little to be desired. Still, even he can’t quite make me like ‘Frisky’ and that’s a shame as I WANTED to like Tinie Tempah. Really, I did but I just don’t really like this at all It goes off in so many tangents its quite hard to take in, I’m not a fan of how Tinie himself sounds here and the backing music becomes incredibly annoying about half way through. One good song left in him for me I’m afraid, but then its to the scrap heap for ol’Tinie #3: K'Naan - Wavin' Flag WTJSt4wP2ME For me, this is everything that a world cup song should be even if it wasn’t initially intended to be one. It’s got everything that ‘Shout’ should have had; a feel of community, fellowship, hope and celebration that even as someone who would never call him self a fan of the sport, I can see that Football can bring out those feelings in people and Waving Flag brings them out very well It’s actually making me pretty nostalgic for the summer of 2010 again, and it’s just one of those songs I just can’t bring myself to hate because I just find it so happy and joyful. K’Naan’s been well and truly relegated (pun intended) to one hit wonder land now but at least his is decent unlike a lot before and after him. Seems appropriate that these reviews occurred just before the 2014 World Cup kicks off, now I’m off to go and mourn how quickly the last 4 years have gone

W/E: 12/06/2010 #1: David Guetta feat Fergie & A Bunch of Randoms – Gettin’ Over You x98sYaPDc6g I recall absoultely despising this song at the time it came out, and I was very annoyed when it got to number one. I don’t really know why that was, in all honesty I can’t rule out that my reason for hating was remaining hate for Sexy Bitch finding something to latch onto. Because Sexy Bitch is one of my least favourite songs ever, and it was going to take something amazing for David Guetta or Akon to get back into my good books after it ‘Gettin Over You’ doesn’t quite do it, however four years have passed and I have to admit I’m quite enjoying it now; especially Fergie and Chris Willis’s parts. Guetta would release a lot better in the future but for what its worth I do actually quite like this. #7: Alicia Keys - Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart srMBZiqNMaM The sudden success of Alicia Keys in the single charts during late 2009/early 2010 was something that actually confused me and still does to this day. Here was a woman who up until the release of ‘Doesn’t Mean Anything’ had only two solo top ten hits to her name after nearly a decade in music. Then, out of the blue, she doubles that figure in just over six months. It baffled me because it wasn’t like her music just suddenly got better; I find Doesn’t Mean Anything and Empire State of Mind (Part II) incredibly dull and lifeless. Whatever the reason, I’m still to determine but that said I at least get why this one was somewhat successful as it’s actually a pretty good RnB tune, and significantly less sleep inducing than a few of her previous songs. I’ll never be fan of her, but I’ll give her credit when its due and its due here.

That's the name of the album? Amazing, Mariah never ceases to amaze me 100k max. I know album sales in the States are in the absolute pits at the moment

W/E: 05/06/2010 #1: Dizzee Rascall - Dirtee Disco qiBxYEPbDaw No Dizzee, just.... Just No, no, no, no. Bye. We’ll meet again, but even then... Just go back to your roots - PLEASE #3: Iyaz - Solo 140ImixpY7M He had a second hit? Da f***? I have no memory of this song whatsoever. I always assumed he disappeared off the face of the earth after ‘Replay’ and we’d not heard from him since. My world view has been severely disturbed by this news God, this is a bit dull isn’t it? And it’s exactly what I was talking about in that Jason DeRulo when I said most post-break up songs by guys are about being sad, lonely and unable to live without the girl. Man up Iyaz. You’re a two hit wonder, you can get almost any girl you want. I’m sorry this is such a bad review, but I honestly don’t know what to say. I’m now questioning everything I thought I knew about one hit wonders #5: Eminem - Not Afraid j5-yKhDd64s Guess who’s back? Back again? With ANOTHER big come back? Tell you friends! Do they even care anymore? Well, I did anyway. May seem like a ridiculous thing to say but to me Eminem is a kind of icon. The guy's been around for so long and has so much success in my lifetime he's been very hard to avoid. He’s like that nice old guy you see in that shop every morning who says hello politely; never really having a massive effect on your life directly but you appreciate his continued presence and you’d sure as hell notice if he was suddenly gone Now, I like Eminem a lot but even I hade to admit 2009’s “Relapse” was a complete misfire. In fact, it’s the only album of his I’ve never owned at one point or another, and he was in need of a second big comeback and I do love Not Afraid for its honesty. It doesn’t shy away from anything Eminem’s been through and he really is back to his best here. There’s a fire in his eyes and voice that hadn’t been there for years and it was just nice to have him back, and better was only to come.... #6: N-Dubz feat Bodyrox - We Dance On 5GxwM6wnWpg You know what, for N-Dubz this isn’t actually that bad. I mean, it’s not great or anything but it is probably their most tolerable single ever in my opinion and it’s nice to here them actually sing about something verging on being quite a sweet and nice message I may sound a snob here, but they always seemed a bit overly chavvy to me but that aspect is nearly gone here. I can’t believe I’ve given them a positive review but what’s life without a few surprises? I'm still reeling over Iyaz's second Top 3.... #9: Sean Kingston & Justin Bieber - Eeenie Meenie prmmCg5bKxA I should hate this song, I should want to demand someone go back in time, prevent Kingston and Bieber from meeting and then burn any remaining CD’s in a massive furnace. But I’m not, because despite it having all the ingredients to make a monumental failure of a song I actually really, really, really like ‘Eeenie Meenie’ It’s ridiculously catchy, the chorus works very well even if the use of an old nursery rhyme is an odd thing to build a song around and Kingston and Bieber’s vocals are probably the best they’d been to this point. I don’t want to like it, it’s certainly not helping any remaining street credit I lay claim too but I just can’t bring myself to dislike this. I kind of love it. I’m not even remotely sorry ‘You can’t make up your mind, mind, mind, mind’ – DAMN IT!!! In my head forever and a day now

A song by a Norwegian comedy duo with the subject matter of the noises of different animals would make the Top 20 Alexandra Burke's second album will sell about 7 copies The drunken random girl from that 'Tik Tok' song will have more number ones this decade than current biggest star in the world Lady Gaga

W/E: 29/05/2010 #1: B.O.B feat Bruno Mars - Nothin' On You 8PTDv_szmL0 I actually always forget that this is a B.O.B song and no less his debut. In the years afterwards, to me it’s been Bruno’s first and B.O.B debuted with ‘Airplanes’ a few months later. Probably due to the fact I don’t really care for B.O.B anymore, and certainly not to the levels I was a fan of him in Summer 2010 I’ll be honest, I don’t find ‘Nothin On You’ to be all that great, it’s a little dull for me but I haven’t listened to it for years and I have to admit it’s nice to here it again even if just for the nostalgic value. Bruno’s parts are naturally the best part of this, and B.O.B’s charm seems to be able to sell just about anything however both have done better and I’ll likely not listen to this again for a while

Somebody To You is amazing, best song on the album. I have to say I have been surprised by how much I've come to like The Vamps

W/E: 22/05/2010 #2: Jason DeRulo - Ridin Solo 8ESdn0MuJWQ Nothing takes me back to Summer 2010 more than this song right here. I’ve already said it, but I won’t be apologizing for my blatant love of probably one of the decades most unoriginal artists, but to be fair his first era doesn’t have any songs made up of samples (And trust me, DeRulo pushed even me with ‘Don’t Wanna Go Home’). But yeah, DeRulo fan here, blah, blah, blah Anyway, I love ‘Ridin Solo’ because I see it as the closest thing us guys may ever get to an ‘I Will Survive’ – well, it’s not as good as Gloria Gaynor’s classic obviously. OK, maybe it’s more on a par with being the guy version of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. So many girl break up songs are so full of life and strength, and 90% of guys ones are depressing guitar anthems with the occasional brilliance of songs like ‘Cry Me a River’ creeping in. But even that wallows in self pity, and believe me I think it’s a much better record than ‘Ridin Solo’. All I’m saying is it’s nice just to have one song where a guy is celebrating the fact he’s young, free, single and not all that bothered by the end of his relationship. There should maybe be more songs in this vain, but when you’ve got one this good who needs another? #3: Edward Maya - Stereo Love p-Z3YrHJ1sU Oh, maybe that Pendulum song won’t end up being my favourite dance track of 2010 after all as I can now see that accolade going to this. I’m not sure what I find so likeable about this track, at face value this is just another generic summer dance anthem but I absolutely love it. I’m not sure if its the added novelty of having an accordion playing in the background In fact, you know what, I reckon that is what I like the most about this. Where the hell else are you gonna hear an ACCORDIAN in a top ten single, no less a dance song. I also love the vocals here, the European feel of it all and the fact it’s one of those deceptively happy dance songs. I don’t really know what it’s about, I’m too distracted by the accordion to pay attention to the lyrics, but I can tell you that this is no happy song. There’s a melancholic feel here, and it makes it all the better Favourite dance song of the year? Most likely #7: Fyfe Dangerfield - She's Always a Woman yATtdheYPzg I honestly was in two minds about whether too include this or not, after all it is a song from another decade that got popular through an advert but it’s a cover by an artist of the 2010’s. So, I’ve included it which does mean I will have to include every John Lewis advert song but I’ve actually liked some of those so maybe that’s not too bad a thing. I’m just not looking forward to the Charlene Soraia review Anyway, the original Billy Joel song is one of my favourite love songs of all times. This cover isn’t terrible, though that’s probably down to the fact it’d be pretty hard to totally f*** up ‘She’s Always a Woman’ and not Fyfe Dangerfield. It’s just such a simple, understated but beautiful love song about loving someone despite their flaws. Sorry Fyfe, but my enjoyment of the track is not down to you. I recall the advert this got famous from was one for some camera company that showed the progress of a woman from birth till death in photos. It was nice. My mum cried whenever it came on. #8: Alexandra Burke feat Pitbull - All Night Long Ymx6CQTtFSI Eugh, I’d wondered how long it would take Pitbull to show up his frankly annoying existence. ‘All Night Long’ however probably is the Alexandra Burke song I have the most good memories attached too, though that may be down to the fact that it was just played incessantly at any gatherings at the time. It’s not a bad song, but there’s just SO MANY like it that the fact it’s just ‘not bad’ means it really fails to stand out against similar ones that are brilliant. I also think there’s no need for Pitbull, he seems very shoehorned in and his rap slows the whole affair down a little. Get used to him by the way folks, he shows up A LOT... Oh god. #9: Glee Cast feat Johnathan Groff - Total Eclipse of the Heart mM5H3UH-LBM Glee back now with the casts third and final top ten single and this time around stars Lea Michele, Cory Monteith, Mark Salling & Jonathan Groff take on Bonnie Tyler’s campy early 80’s classic “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. Well, really it’s Michele who does the work here with the other three just doing the ‘turn around bright eyes’ parts (though I do like those parts actually) There’s no doubt Lea Michele as a decent set of lungs on her, and I think this was probably the finest vocal performance she’d done on the show to this point. The novelty was already running a bit thin for me by this point and in one years time I’d stopped watching the ‘hottest new show on TV’ for good. Still, this is a pretty decent cover and whilst not something I ever imagine choosing to listen too from choice it’s really not that bad at all People’s main issue with Glee were the covers, and they did some bad ones, but they did some bloody good ones too. It’s a shame the show is now dictated too by obsessive fan pre-occupied with shipping over clever, funny stories. That’s my two cents anyway, now off you trot Glee

W/E: 15/05/2010 #4: Pendulum - Watercolour tEPB7uzKuh4 I’d actually forgotten about this little gem, even if it does sound like someone auto-tuned Chad Kroeger at the beginning. But yes, I have to give myself a little smack for not remembering this – it’s probably my favourite dance song reviewed so far and considering my distaste for dance music circa 2010 it may end up being one of my favourites of the year! I love songs that just get straight into it, I’ve actually no idea how I managed to forget it but once I started listening I was right back into it. All around excellence here #5: Aggro Santos feat Kimberley Wyatt - Candy 87BXqO9iENY I’d forgotten this too, though that might not be too bad of a thing. Man, for all I complained about Professor Green before at least he seemed to have actual talent in rapping as opposed to this guy In it’s defence I will say it verges on being catchy, and Kimberley Wyatt manages to prove that the rest of the Pussycat Dolls could have at least held a tune. Despite those (minor) redeeming features this won’t be a song I’ll ever love. That said, I do recall quite liking his later collaboration with Kimberley Walsh a year or so later – we’ll see if that holds up when we get too it

W/E: 08/05/2010 #1: Roll Deep - Good Times dEGnYyKib9E I don’t know if its the feelings of nostalgia I have towards this track, or if my music taste isn’t what I thought, but I found this utterly delightful to listen too on re-listen. I know most ‘old school’ Roll Deep fans were probably a bit pissed off that they shed their previous sound for the sake of a flat out commercial hit but I genuinely really like this It brings back some great memories of Year 10 parties for me, and you just know those will have been wild, even though it does end up a little on the chavvy side at times. Apparently, the female vocalist Jodie Connor was on Pop Idol many moons ago? She’s probably the thing that makes this song; but overall this was a delight to listen too again. I wish I was still 14 sometimes. #10: Taio Cruz feat Ke$ha - Dirty Picture RgnXl7fz0Bc I don’t like this, not one bit. Taio was good for exactly two things; ‘Break Your Heart’ and ‘Dynamite’. Everything else is kind of white noise or headache inducing for me. I hate the breakdown instrumental of this song, I gather this is a song intended to be a club anthem but I can’t imagine anyone dancing to this. It’s just a bit disgusting to be honest. Ke$ha saves it a little, and there are times when the song verges on being bearable but then Taio and his auto tuned voice come back and the whole thing just becomes incredibly tacky

W/E: 01/05/2010 #1: Diana Vickers - Once rpkxgDpCyAc It seems so weird that Diana Vickers got a number one single and album. This is probably going to end up being both the lowest selling and most forgotten number one of the entire decade, which is a shame as it’s actually a brilliant little pop song, even if lyrically it is a bit redundant and stupid I can’t say I was ever a massive fan of Diana when she was on The X Factor, and I didn’t buy her album but ‘Once’ and it’s follow up ‘The Boy Who Murdered Love’ both impressed me and there was probably a 3 week period where I was actually a fan of her. Of course, the dream was not meant to be and her second era was a complete flop; another shame as I actually really liked lead single ‘Cinderella’ too Maybe I should get her albums, I clearly like her a lot more than I thought. At least she did better than Egg-Owen or whatever he was called #3: Chipmunk feat Esmee Denters - Until You Were Gone yWyGkLuvWgE And time for yet another guilty pleasure, looking back I kind of cringe at the fact but back in 2009/2010 I was quite a big Chipmunk fan. My favourite song of his remains ‘Oopsy Daisy’ or 'Champion' but I’m a big fan of his first era as a whole and ‘Until You Were Gone’ is probably my second favourite of his I particularly like Esmee Denters and her vocals here, I don’t know what’s happened to her – she was kind of tipped as the next big thing at one point then seemingly dropped off the face of the earth. No great loss to me, the only songs of hers I ever cared for were this and her debut ‘Outta Here’ That said, Chipmunk has all but vanished too. Last seen somewhere with Keri Hilson in 2011, I’m honestly tempted to say don’t rush back.

W/E: 24/04/2010 #3: Professor Green feat Ed Drewett - I Need You Tonight UC9IOAe9jAY Now, I quite like Professor Green as a person. It’s just a shame the same can’t be said for his music, particularly his debut set of singles which are the antithesis of lazy, unoriginal and his rapping really isn’t good at all here. ‘I Need You Tonight’ is just a complete misfire, and considering it was his breakthrough single that’s not a good starting point at all. Tinie Tempah and Plan B were streets ahead at this point, and Green wouldn’t impress me until 2011’s “Read All About It” Sorry mate, you were funny on Never Mind The Buzzcocks though #5: Kelis - Acapella U8D9xCBcfzw Kelis is such an underrated artist who I don’t think has ever received the acclaim or success that she deserves. She did some of the best tracks of the 2000’s with “Caught Out There” and “Milkshake” as well as giving us the insanely catchy “Trick Me” and the beautiful “Little Star”. How this woman is not as big as the likes of Beyonce or Alicia Keys is utterly bemusing to me, she’s absolutely brilliant “Acapella” isn’t her best, it’s a good song but it doesn’t really catch me in the ways that her previous work did. I actually prefer the follow up, “4th of July (Fireworks)” which did exactly nothing on the charts. #7: Selena Gomez & The Scene - Naturally a_YR4dKArgo This is probably going to go down as some crime against music, but of all the songs that entered the top ten this week this one is probably my favourite of them. I’ve known about Selena Gomez since about 2008, little sister was obsessed with her Disney sitcom, and I’d be lying if I said I was interested in her because of her acting and singing talents. Because in reality it’s because she’s ‘proper fit’ (as 2010 James would’ve put it) But, Naturally grabbed my attention when I first heard it because it’s just a brilliant little pop song. It’s not going to be winning any awards for being particularly deep or thought provoking; it’s just a simple love song about a girl describing her love for her boyfriend. It’s an underrated and forgotten little pop gem and to this day probably my favourite song by any Disney kid.

W/E: 17/04/2010 #8: Timbaland feat Justin Timberlake - Carry Out NRdHsuuXxfk Using fast food as a kind of euphemism for sex, well it’s original at least I’ll give it that. But yeah, ‘Carry Out’ is just a sorry end to the golden days of Timbaland, it’s probably his laziest effort ever and Justin Timberlake, one of my favourite artists ever, isn’t even able to save it though his parts are the best part of it I also highly doubt the ‘I can feed you, you can feed me’ is referring to a McDonald’s happy meal either. At least make your euphemisms clever and not THAT obvious if you’re gonna do it

W/E: 10th April 2010 #1: Scouting For Girls - This Aint a Love Song UAYJgTdZRw0 I know quite a lot of people having Scouting for Girls down as one of the worst things to ever happen to music, but I’ve always really liked them and I was addicted to their first album towards the end 0f 2007. I think if you accept them as just being a pop group, not some kind of watered down alternative band, then they’re music sounds a lot better. Because it IS pop music, and what’s more it’s good pop music ‘This Aint a Love Song’ isn’t their best and there’s almost no development or evolution between the first and second albums, and their songs do have a tendency to sound almost identical. That’s not to say I don’t like it though, especially the “I’m a little bit lost without you, and I’m a bloody big mess inside” parts. Back in 2010, lots of people in my year liked to use lyrics from songs as Facebook status’s and for about two months it was that lyric I don’t think anyone ever expected this to go to number one, and judging from the fact they’ve only scraped the top twenty once in the last 3 years I’d say it was definitely a fluke. I can understand that, as much as I like the band there’s only so many times you can buy essentially the same song just with different lyrics #3: Plan B - She Said rQjh9H-ymK4 Out of all the songs I’ve reviewed so far, ‘She Said’ is probably my favourite, the most well thought out and executed. I just love everything about it; from Ben Drew’s contrast between high singing voice and competent, confident and assured rapping. He really believes what he’s saying, and why shouldn’t he? The songs subject matter is quite interesting, I don’t think there’s many songs that centre on female obsession and fake sexual assault and rape accusations That’s how I interpret it anyway; he and this girl have had a one night stand, he rejects her and she accuses him of raping her. It’s such a dark subject that the quite light approach to the song and its production is jarring, but it doesn’t make ‘She Said’ any less fantastic. In a way, it’s kind of the ‘Stan’ of 2010 and obviously we have to touch on the frankly brilliant music video. Almost theatrical in its approach, the video captures the story of the song amazingly well and I especially love the jury’s snapping fingers Just all around brilliance here really #4: Delirious - History Maker M61euZg5aSg OK, so third song that I have actually got no recollection of whatsoever. This sounds really like a U2 album track and I’m kind of at a loss of what to say about it to be honest. I actually quite like it in all honesty, I probably would have really liked it at the time if I’d known about it. Is this maybe the most forgotten top ten single of the entire decade? #8: Usher feat Will.i.am - O.M.G 1RnPB76mjxI Ah, good old Usher. I first discovered him in 2004 aged 8 when “Yeah” came out and I was obsessed with that whole album for about a year and it only grew when I went back and discovered “8701”, specifically the brilliant ‘U Remind Me’ which remains one of my favourite RnB songs of the 00’s. I was very disappointed by his next effort, ‘Love In This Club’, in 2008 and by the time I heard he had a new album coming out I was excited. The Usher I loved was coming back, and getting away from the awful club sound? Then, he comes back with THIS. ‘OMG’ is just terrible, I honestly wish I could better describe but I honestly can’t. I just can’t stand it. From the annoying constant ‘Oh-whoa-oh’ in the background for pretty much the whole song, to Will.i.am’s guest rap it’s just not an enjoyable experience for me. Usher would reclaim some love from me with “DJ Got Us Falling In Love” later in year (I know, kind of hypocritical of me but whatever). But ‘OMG’ should be incased in concrete and dropped to the bottom of the ocean never to be heard again I have a headache. Is my hate for this a bit over the top? Definitely. Do I care? Not really

W/E: 03/04/2010 #9: Young Money - Bed Rock Ha80ZaecGkQ I know I really, really, really shouldn’t like this one little bit but I cannot help it. It’s such a hectic song with so many different voices, incredibly quotable and though lyrically a bit minging at times I find it weirdly charming as well The weirder thing is I don’t like ANY of these artists (Except Drake) individually and the idea of them all being on the same song should be my worst nightmare but they all come together and create a pretty decent song. Obviously I’m not going to make out this was the best song of the year or anything but for the fact I like it despite having every reason not too, this deserves a lot of credit

Musically, it's quite a shame to be honest. The guy is actually very talented and there was a period back in 2012 where I thought he might be able to become a legitimately good artist within a few years; "Believe" wasn't a great album but it had some true gems on it like 'As Long As You Love Me' and the guy seemed to be brimming with potential back then He's completely let it go now, he's got no chance in my books - certainly not here in the UK

The Quarterly Review So, that is the first three months of 2010 and indeed the entire decade gone. So far, it's not that great I'll be honest. There have been some brilliant tracks so far (Example, Plan B, Jason DeRulo, Ellie Goulding), a lot of middling tracks which are neither great nor brilliant (Inna, Naughty Boy/Emeli Sande, Cheryl Cole, Glee Cast) and a few too many ones that are just downright terrible or worse, in my book, just utterly forgetful (Bieber, McLean, Florence/Dizzee)

W/E: 27/03/2010 #1: Lady Gaga feat Beyonce - Telephone lgpQzLPWiKY Eugh, I’d forgotten how long, over the top and stupid the music video for this song is (hence my finding of a 'radio edit' version here. That said, I don’t think the song itself is that bad at all and Gaga was on fire at this point in time. It’s honestly kind of hard to picture this as her last number one, and it may well be considering the turn her career has taken over the past few years. Quite like ‘On a Mission’ I find ‘Telephone’ brilliant because it’s so over the top and campy (though I draw the line at the video, that’s just nonsense and I believe even Gaga herself has disowned it) however I negate the need for Beyonce. I find her verse kind of slows the whole affair down a little, I’d honestly rather this was just Lady Gaga on her own Please don’t kill me for saying that Queen Bee, I often think you’re better on your own too. #6: Inna - Hot fF5DP90ult8 I do not remember this at all! I vaguely remember finding her very attractive at the time so maybe my mind wasn’t totally on the song whenever the video came on. For what it is, ‘Hot’ isn’t terrible but it lacks something that keeps it from going from a good dance track to a good one. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something here stopping it from being as good as it maybe could be; I do think there’s an excellent dance track hiding in this song somewhere Inna’s voice is quite paper thin, however the song does actually build more and more as it goes on and makes for a very enjoyable last chorus. However, I do think this could get very irritating if overplayed, but luckily it wasn’t that big of a hit.

What's more surprising to me is that he's only ever had 4 top tens!

W/E: 20/03/2010 #3: Justin Bieber feat Ludicras - Baby kffacxfA7G4 'Baby’ is probably the last song on earth I though I’d ever get philosophical about, but upon re-listen it’s actually made me feel a bit sad. Sure, this high voiced teenage Bieber was slightly irritating and ‘Baby’ is no master piece but it just makes me sad when I think of what he’s become now. Where’s this seemingly sweet and innocent kid disappeared to? Hopefully he’s still in there somewhere, but seeing Bieber so fresh faced and eager here is sad in hindsight. He just looks either sad or angry whenever I see him these days, nor is he wearing clothes but that’s irrelevant However, all of that doesn’t cover up the fact that this song is a repetitive cheese fest (and don’t get me started on Ludicras’s guest rap, does that guy ever do his own songs?). I was 14 when this was released, so I didn’t really think a 15 year old singing about being in love was a bit silly. But now I’ve grown and been through some stuff, and I honestly can’t imagine Bieber knew anything about what he was singing. I also doubt that Ludicras’s first thoughts at 13 were about how in love he was either. Sort yourself out Biebes, because for me to yearn for the days of ‘Baby’ means you really have become an annoying pr**k #9: Gabriella Cilmi - On A Mission ycmQpXWwT0c So.... File this one under songs I’d completely forgotten existed until now but I’m ones I’m angry I forgot about. ‘On a Mission’ is hilariously camp, and utterly brilliant, absurd and frankly insane. I’d take this about ten times over ‘Sweet About Me’ which I’ve always absolutely detested with every fibre of my being. But this, this is too fabulous to even have very strong feelings on It’s just.... I can’t even tell if this is meant to be serious or not? It seems so tongue in cheek but she looks so serious and into it in the video that makes me think it is serious. And if it is, then I love it even more. Come back Gabriella, and do more songs like this. #10: McLean - My Name wEx-_yLrWv8 I honestly don’t have any strong feelings towards this either negative or positive. It just kind of exists, I don’t gain anything from listening to it but at the same time I don’t find listening to it a chore. It’s just not interesting. Sorry about the crappy lyric video too, the official one wasn't the first thing that came up on YouTube and I didn't care to scroll and find it