Torple

Much as I loved the old harridan back in her prime (oh for the days of 2004), Wonderwall is one of the very LAST songs the woman should be allowed near. It does not lend itself well to banshee screaming, repeated cries of "YEAH SING IT GUURRRRLLL HAHA!" and deranged cackling.

That is perhaps the most RIDICULOUS pairing they could ever have dreamt up. Phil Mitchell/Poppy Meadow romance next please!

AILSA STEWART CHIC I very much approve.

It sounds very much like

Tyler is a truly redundant presence, particularly now that he has few family links, a romance that not one viewer gives too hoots for (POOR FATBOY), and the role of useless-but-pretty plank has been snatched away by Joey Branning. Anthony was a disastrous character but at least you knew what that character was (BUMBLING FOOL), whilst I challenge anybody to name a single Tyler Moon personality trait. I am now of the belief that Charlie Jones was the GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO EASTENDERS. I live for the day when he wins the role back from the more accompolished actor a la Daniella Westbrook, and recreates an ESSENTIAL Ben Mitchell Moment by making his return bursting through Phil Mitchell's door in Gaga-esque costume shrieking "Don't be a drag just be a QUEEN".

How very EMMERDALE

The whole plot was terrible. I don't think the writers really knew WHAT message they were wanting to send out with it. With the Leanne/Dennis scene, and the big grand Ste speech, it felt almost like we were supposed to sympathise with poor brave Doug whilst his awful, evil parents abandoned him. They were all behaving as if the parents walked away because they were homophobes (which there was little actual evidence of), and NOTHING to do with the fact that their son just tried to con them out of money by faking a wedding and a pregnancy.

Bar Shenice (I can only assume the low placing is due to ironic voting because she's a #1 CHARACTER MAKE NO MISTAKE) I don't think there's anybody there to take issue with. Nico is probably a little too old for the Buzzjack gais to get on board with no matter how much baby oil (or doner meat fat) he greases himself up with.

Like Jark says, the new characters that are being introduced are just not quite up to scratch; the vast majority are plain unlikeable (Joel, Jen), without personality (Liam), clearly not long for the world (Walker), or portrayed by a hopeless actor (Ally). Also Ste and Doug become a more and more repulsive couple with every episode. I think we're supposed to find this fake wedding storyline amusing and comedic, but really all the characters are behaving quite despicably. On the plus side (because I seem to moan more about the show than I praise it), I'm glad to see they're finally tackling the issue of Maddie and acknowledging that she is indeed a bully. And it's great to see the Osbornes finally returning to the forefront, especially given Jessica Fox and Ashley Taylor-Dawson are amongst the show's strongest performers.

Someone had to make way for QUEEN TRACY. All children should be scrambling for bottom place, they have no place on my TV. Tiffany is particularly irksome because NO CHILD TALKS OR BEHAVES LIKE THAT.

TOP TEN PREDICTIONS: Janine, Shirley, Tanya, Kim, Denise, Dot, Jean, Zainab, Tracy and Shenice Max. Brenda Boyle to be outed as Kat's illicit f**k buddy.

DIGITAL SPY POSTERS ON SUICIDE WATCH

Syed is a wimpering mess who is FAR removed from the MUCH BETTER character he was when he made his debut and long before he ever encountered Christian. He needs to grow his balls back and he also needs to start rediscovering his relationships outside of his immediate family. What happened to his friendships with Janine and Tanya? I want ConmanSyed back. I hope this story will be the

Michaela leaving with BIRD SHIT in her hair was a somewhat fitting ending for the character.

I honestly can't decide if that was SHIT, FANTASTIC or FANTASTIC SHIT. I have particular love for Tracy standing motionless, expressionless and noiseless with the brawl going on right in front of her. It could have been improved if Syed had been wrestling everybody with his shirt off [/gary]

+30 Cornershop "Brimful Of Asha" +25 Eurythmics "There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart)" +22 The Communards "Don't Leave Me This Way" +20 The Corrs "Breathless" +18 Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody" +16 Tasmin Archer "Sleeping Satellite" +14 Los Lobos "La Bamba" +13 UB40 "Red Red Wine" +12 Fugees "Killing Me Softly" +11 Marvin Gaye "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" +10 Gabrielle "Dreams" +09 Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg "Je t'aime... moi non plus" +08 Snap "The Power" +07 Dizzee Rascal "Dance Wiv Me" +06 The Prodigy "Firestarter" +05 Madonna "Hung Up" +04 Eiffel 65 "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" +03 Sugababes "Hole In The Head" +02 Adele "Someone Like You" +01 Elvis & JXL "A Little Less Conversation" -02 Pixie Lott "All About Tonight"

I do think she's fast becoming irredeemable. I can't think of how they're going to have Mitzeee vindicated without Mercedes being exposed. Browning wasn't on the scene really then so surely she wouldn't be able to pass the buck there. To be fair to Jennifer Metcalfe, she's stuck Hollyoaks out for quite some time now, but she's still young enough to potentially want to try and break out.

I would very much like to see Buzzjack form a "supergroup" to send to this competition. I nominate Mikey, GRIMLY FIENDISH, Jark, Kathyp and Griff.

With Ally, he's obviously trying to fracture the Kane family, thus manipulating Ash into becoming solely dependent on him - much like what he was doing with Amy before she left. I have no idea WHY though, and I'm still confused why the decision was made to get rid of Amy when they were already midway through the plot. The recent interview Emma Smithwick gave implied Amy was axed, which makes little sense - the nonsense she gave about allowing Ste more room for storylines is flimsy at best, because there are perfectly good ways of achieving that without terminating somebody's employment after 7 years. Ste's storylines hadn't revolved around Amy for a long time. I'm still NOT on board with Theresa and I don't think I ever will be. The unresolved Calvin issue remains a glaring inconsistency - in particular the likes of Jacqui actively campaigning for cousin Bart to be sent to prison over marijuana doesn't quite ring true when those same people have actively covered up for Theresa committing callous MURDER of a near-enough family member. Between her and I-wanna-be-a-gangsta Joel, they're far from being a love story you want to root for.

GOD this Alice/Anthony thing is bloody DREARY but I suppose at least there is a purpose . Alice is an utter wet blanket, and I'm not sure if they're DELIBERATELY going for a piss-poor Little Mo vibe, but whatever it is it ISN'T working.

To be fair, given what we've seen from her so far, it's more than likely that at some point Sharon will just FORGET she has a son altogether, and we'll never hear from the poor sod again until he returns in 2020 as a recast 30 year old "hunk" out for revenge on his terrible mother.

Didn't Green Day perform at one or the other? I know 2004 was appalling for sales, but I'd have still expected the likes of Boulevard Of Broken Dreams or American Idiot to make an appearance.

Frankly I'd MUCH rather 'Rebellion' and 'Midnight City' if it means a break from the usual Britney/Girls Aloud/Gaga/Rihanna stranglehold.

This is the WORST POST OF THE THREAD

I don't think the guy who played Andrew was any worse than many of the regular cast members right now. I agree it was a rubbish exit though, and I'm at a loss as to why they kept him on. It was clear he was only around for the Heather reveal, but then why on earth was there no "pay off"? Apart from a few evil glances at Jay, there was NOTHING. I can only assume when they gave him the extended contract they still hadn't quite worked out what the details of the plot resolution.