Torple

01. Chris Brown & Benny Benassi - Beautiful People 02. Calvin Harris - Feel So Close 03. JLS - Eyes Wide Shut 04. Ed Sheeran - The A Team 05. Dr Dre, Eminem & Skylar Grey - I Need A Doctor 06. Diddy - Coming Home 07. Olly Murs - Dance With Me Tonight 08. Wretch 32 - Don't Go 09. Flo Rida - Good Feeling 10. Cher Lloyd - Swagger Jagger

Not STRICTLY true. I know we all hate him because he has a cheeky grin instead of a vagina, but Olly Murs has done pretty well for himself as a LOCAL act. One Direction aren't doing badly themselves at the moment, although I'm not convinced they're a long term prospect (the fact that the current single is already plummeting down the chart does not bode well). I know of course that NEITHER quite match up to Leona Lewis in terms of success, but let's face it that was a one-off and I think we all need to appreciate that it's not likely to happen again for a LONG time.

To be fair I think we're all OVERPLAYING Cher Lloyd's success. The album's sold less than Matt Cardle's (and he's been slated as a flop from all quarters), and even her #1 single was a #1 by default really. In terms of sales, she's actually BARELY (if indeed at all) surpassing DIANA VICKERS. I would be looking more at JLS or Leona as relevant examples if we're talking how to launch an X Factor artist. You DON'T always hit gold by just aiming yourself at the 12 year old brat brigade.

What an utterly SILLY girl. She thought she was single-handedly going to turn the X Factor into the British equivalent of Woodstock?

Get off your high horse you rude little I-loon. The girl was asking a simple question.

Starstrukk is a TERRIBLE dirge and needs wiping out STAT

So that's one sorted. When are Westlife and Robbie Williams confirming?

That three-hander was excellent. Claire Cooper is possibly the best actress on the show, and even Andrew Moss and Anthony Quinlan, who have both spent so long as part of the Hollyoaks B-Squad, were at their very best. I think Rhys' outbursts were quite spot-on - his involvement added another dimension to proceedings - caught in the Wife vs Best Friend trap, and completely unable to understand why Jacqui would want to put herself through the ordeal of dealing with Gilly again. However, much as the episode itself was done well, I really wish that they hadn't done it at all. The strength of the storyline was that it WASN'T a "standard" rape storyline - it focused on that "grey" area - what happens if the woman changes her mind, but the male doesn't realise? What happens if both parties truly believe their version of events? Having Gilly suddenly confess that he did in fact rape Jacqui not only completely undid all that work and rendered the whole point of the plot null and void, it's also trashed a long-standing character who had been one of the show's "good guys" for at well over six years (a HUGE amount of time by Hollyoaks' standards). It does feel like Hollyoaks decided that as Anthony Quinlan was leaving and Claire Cooper wasn't, they needed to "resolve" things in Jacqui's favour.

Well that's just absolutely TYPICAL. The worst single Kelly Rowland's farted out in her entire career, and it's looking like it's going to be one of her biggest successes! THE CURSE OF SHOAT

01. Chase And Status - Blind Faith 02. Lady GaGa - The Edge Of Glory 03. Bruno Mars - Grenade 04. Alexis Jordan - Good Girl 05. Snoop Dogg & David Guetta - Sweat 06. James Morrison - I Won't Let You Go 07. The Wanted - Glad You Came 08. Maroon 5 & Christina Aguilera - Moves Like Jagger 09. Christina Perri - Jar Of Hearts 10. One Direction - What Makes You Beautiful

I really do very much approve of Jester PUTTING IT DOWN. More of that please.

Unpopular opinion but it SHOULD be Amelia. Dull though Craig was last night, it's not REALLY on if he gets kicked out after 7 live shows over someone who has done less than HALF of that.

There's nothing brave about it, it's pure stupidity. Nothing else!

Exactly. I get the feeling we've ALREADY had the good stuff chucked out as buzz or non-album singles, and now we're left with dregs. The sad fact is that Kelly is NEVER going to get a better opportunity to go A-list, and she's squandering it. Honestly, I don't really see this as a GOOD thing. Again, she's NEVER going to have a better opportunity to properly launch herself. She's NOT in the league of Beyonce or Gaga or Rihanna who could get by without. If she IS playing the martyr and actually turning down the opportunity (although is that actually what's happened?), then she's a very silly girl.

EVERYTHING about the release is ropey and lazy - from the AMATEUR artwork, to the lack of them taking any advantage of a potential X Factor slot, and the frankly TERRIBLE throwaway song itself (easily the worst of Kelly's career - RedOne should be feeling ashamed of himself). It really does feel like they've decided they DON'T HAVE TO BOTHER, assuming that Kelly's new status as an X Factor judge will be enough to guarantee them decent sales. Sadly, it seems they may be right.

Well YES Oh Pavel :(

Oh dear at the fact that the Craig strip has needed to be spelt out in such detail to people :( Not a good day for Buzzjack intellect.

Yep, I'm on the same page with Kelly Rowland. She's normally always PLEASANTLY SURPRISED me with her solo material (for someone who was supposed to be a sub-Beyonce doomed to flop beyond an initial run, she's done exceedingly well for herself to be maintaining a career in 2011), but Down For Whatever is her first track I can't get on board with. Incredibly derivative of the Pitbull/Guetta sound, nicking sections wholescale from On The Floor, and a piss-weak chorus. Oh for the days of When Love Takes Over and Work :( On a side note, HUZZAH for En Vogue. A worthy re-appearance.

That's the first Little Mix performance I've LOVED They sounded completely at home there; I've only really just realised their strength is that unlike all previous girl group entrants, they're each individually half-decent singers (i.e. the sort that would, if solo, get to the live shows and go out in Week 2, rather than the sort who wouldn't make it past boot camp AT ALL).

WHAT THE f***ERY IS THIS Kelly Rowland's popularity plummeting at a rapid rate, Misha B in the bottom two...ROLL ON THE TEARS AND "SAD SONGS" COMPILATION CUTS. This show really has been beyond parody this year.

"It's rare that one of our judges gets to this stage with a full house..." SOPHIE HABBIBAS AGOG

Are they SERIOUSLY arguing that nobody is going to know Think? And these are "industry experts"? GOOD FUCKING GRIEF :manson: I will say that I still do not want Amelia Lily to win (although that was a great performance) - I still disagree with a contestant potentially winning having skipped four live shows, but also she really is just a straight cross between Christina Aguilera and Pixie Lott - something I don't really have any desire to see in the charts.

A mixed BREED?!

FAZER? :D Fantastic. I am now GENUINELY hoping for a Janet Devlin victory, just so we can all sit back and enjoy the X Factor's BIGGEST MOTORWAY PILE-UP yet with that winners single.