Torple

01. Take That - Happy Now 02. Ellie Goulding - Lights 03. The Naked And Famous - Young Blood 04. Cee Lo Green - Bright Lights Bigger City 05. Plan B - The Writing's On The Wall 06. The Pierces - You'll Be Mine 07. Guillemots - Walk The River 08. Lady GaGa - Born This Way 09. Katie Melua - Twisted 10. Magnetic Man & John Legend - Getting Nowhere 11. McFly - That's The Truth 12. Kanye West - All Of The Lights 13. White Lies - Strangers 14. Andrea Corr - Tinseltown In The Rain 15. Clare Maguire - The Last Dance 16. Hurts - Sunday 17. OneRepublic - Secrets 18. Adele - Someone Like You 19. Two Door Cinema Club - What You Know 20. Gabriella Cilmi - Glue 21. Noah And The Whale - L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. 22. Adele - Rolling In The Deep 23. Nicole Scherzinger - Don't Hold Your Breath 24. Arcade Fire - The Suburbs 25. Toploader - Never Stop Wondering 26. Glasvegas - Euphoria, Take My Hand 27. Yasmin - On My Own 28. Pet Shop Boys & Dusty Springfield - What Have I Done To Deserve This? 29. Kate Bush - Deeper Understanding 30. White Lies - Bigger Than Us 31. Jessie J - Who You Are 32. Adam Lambert - Aftermath 33. Slash & Fergie - Beautiful Dangerous 34. The Hoosiers - Bumpy Ride 35. Hurts - Illuminated 36. Above & Beyond - Sun And Moon 37. Take That - Kidz 38. Feeder - Side By Side 39. Arcade Fire - City With No Children 40. Glee Cast - I Feel Pretty / Unpretty

Jark you need to listen to War Of Nerves STAT. It's wonderful. This rate is actually quite timely as I bagged myself the DEFINITIVE All Saints collection yesterday in the HMV sale for £3. It's actually a 2-disc set as they managed to plug in nearly all of their album tracks aswell as the singles, so total BARGAIN. I haven't actually listened to it yet of course... 08 I Know Where It's At 10 Never Ever 05 Under The Bridge 02 Lady Marmalade - by numbers 03 Bootie Call 10 War of Nerves 10 Pure Shores 08 Black Coffee 06 All Hooked Up 06 Rock Steady ?? Chick Fit

So this is out today and I have no doubt it will fail to make the album chart completely. BUT on the plus side, Tinseltown In The Town has grown on me, and having had a quick Spotify session with the album, I am pleased to say this ISN'T Sharleen Spiteri Take 2. Some of the covers are genuinely rather good, and Andrea herself actually sounds more passionate and energised than she has for a LONG time. State Of Independence is a highlight.

HA knowing who this is now makes me laugh for reasons that shall become apparent later! I am a genius. Ooh yes please, that would be wonderful :o http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/hurt.gif SURELY NOT Between this and track #8, this confirms my suspicions that Eurovision and Melodifestivalen both REJECT perfectly DECENT music in favour of putting through utter SHITE. DEATH to schlager.

I genuinely dislike Lose My Breath, so Britney it is.

Vanessa Carlton is back in the chart? BRILLIANT Proper (and LONG OVERDUE) release for White Houses next please!

Well I suppose if we must have a NU QUEEN OF HEARTS it may as well be Dame Kelly. I want her to recite the anecdote about a dolphin coming over her face LIVE ON AIR though.

The Elephant vs The Moon So I've scored each track (where I can) as I felt it was a lot easier than trying to rate the album as a whole. 06: TRACK ONE An interesting choice for the opening track; an instrumental rock track which I would later learn is COMPLETELY unrepresentative of the CD as a whole. It's not bad, but in all honesty I don't find it all that interesting - there's a lack of a REALLY distinctive tune, which is kind of essential I think in the absence of a vocal. 09.5: TRACK TWO Very good. Indie/electropop - kind of what you'd expect if you bred New Order with Ou Est Le Swimming Pool, and then borrowed Kelly Jones of the Stereophonics and taught him to sing in a Germanic (?) language. I particularly like the piano running through the chorus, and the Oriental-sounding synths - very melodic. I shall be keeping this one certainly. 07: TRACK THREE The one track of this album that I do know; Imogen Heap's "Lifeline", which I'd only heard for the first time about a week before this CD Swap. Heap is one of those artists that I am only vaguely aware of, and I suspect that if I ever were to dig deeper into her back catalogue I'd like most of what I'd hear. But as it is, I only know this, Hide And Seek (which is OK) and First Train Home (which is GORGEOUS). This one's OK; I like the rather mournful piano riff that plays throughout the verses, but I find the chorus rather anti-climatic and forgettable, with nothing but a few electronic blippy sound effects to accompany Heap's slightly strained vocals. 10: TRACK FOUR Oh I LOVE this, probably my favourite discovery from this collection. Despite minimal production, this still manages to be dark, brooding, bittersweet and atmospheric. I can't work out who this is by though. My first thought was Hot Chip as the vocalist sounds familiar, but this track is darker in sound to what I know of them, so I'm not sure. Anyway, this is a definite winner with me. 02: TRACK FIVE Yeah, really not my thing. Generic US rap about getting drunk and partying complete with plenty of swearing just because. I'm sure the random cameo is Jay-Z, but who the main artist is I haven't yet been able to fathom. The distorted and tuneless sung chorus also does nothing for me whatsoever. Sorry. However kudos I guess for including something from a genre traditionally unrepresented on BJ. 09: TRACK SIX And following on from Jay-Z and friends, this is quite the random shift in mood. The beginning of a run of European female singer/songwriter tracks where I have no idea what the lady in question is singing about. In this case, it matters not, as this boasts a LUSH twinkly chorus, which brings to mind Zero 7 at their best. The lady even sounds a little like Sia in places (albeit a Sia singing in Russian or Polish or whatever) - the vocals are drawling but still utterly charming. Another keeper. 07: TRACK SEVEN Very much a track of two halves. I'm not keen on the verses; the vocals are just a little too cutesy for my liking - it's almost like I'm listening to a 7 year old girl singing a Russian nursery rhyme. However the chorus is wonderful; a hurtling, angsty and urgent affair, and it seems like it's being sung by a different (and actually adult) woman. 08: TRACK EIGHT Another charming female singer/songwriter ditty; European folk here. It's like a slightly more twee version of Amy MacDonald's This Is The Life, as if she's performing it on The Waltons or Little House On The Prairie, but again sung in Russian or something. I'm really not clued up with my languages. Bad Shoat. 05: TRACK NINE Another perfectly decent non-English female folk singer/songwriter. However this one suffers from the track sequencing a little, coming straight off the back of three similar-sounding but stronger tracks all from the same genre. It's perhaps a little too generic, and this was one of the tracks that I found I pretty much forgot about completely almost as soon as the next track began. 07.5: TRACK TEN The intro reminds me a little of Bloc Party - punchy and a little menacing. The main body of the song doesn't QUITE match up to the promise of those opening seconds, but it's still an interesting and atmospheric piece of guitar-pop. ??: TRACK ELEVEN http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/grin.gif I really don't know how to score this, because either JakeWild isn't the only one to have incorporated the Barbarellas on their CD, or this is a definite PISSTAKE. For the most part this is awful party anthem-lite, but the bridge where the lady in question advises her prospective suitor to lick her "muffin top" all to the accompaniment of a string orchestra IS admittedly wonderful (we are also assured that the muffin top is "wholegrain and low fat", so that's alright then). I just can't decide whether it's inadvertently wonderful, or whether it's all been done KNOWINGLY. 06: TRACK TWELVE Rather bizarre Euro-hip hop. Have N.E.R.D gone Russian? It's an interesting record, and I do like the angry and threatening bridges. I can appreciate that this is a very good example of it's genre, and fans of hip-hop should definitely give this a listen. However it really isn't my cup of tea at all, and it's a track I'm probably unlikely to keep for myself. 09: TRACK THIRTEEN Gorgeous. This has a very cinematic feel, like it's the soundtrack to the obligatory inspirational montage just before the climax of an action movie. I'm rambling. A dramatic, lush and swirling production accompanied by some HEAVENLY and at times ethereal vocals. EPIC 02: TRACK FOURTEEN Another one that sadly doesn't click with me. Very kitsch, very cheesy European folk - it's almost like a pastiche. I could imagine it being sung by a Bavarian lady wearing lederhosen with plaits in her hair. It sounds like it belongs in the 1950s. 07: TRACK FIFTEEN Not one of the strongest or more memorable efforts on this CD, but listenable enough. Cool and funky (and why am I talking like I've just travelled forward in time from a 1978 discotheque?). 03: TRACK SIXTEEN Far too Eurovision for my liking. Generic and uninspired lyrics set to generic Euro-trance sung by a female in a heavy European accent, with a chorus that consists of nothing but "yayayay yayayay", presumably as they had run out of love clichés to chuck out. 08: TRACK SEVENTEEN Slowing the pace down a little, this is chant-like ambient/MOR - it takes a while to take hold, but when it does it won't leave your head. Like a male-fronted Portishead. I can't decide if the guy is singing in German (it sounds very Germanic) or French (the climax is long cries of "PAREEEEEEEE") 05: TRACK EIGHTEEN This one is a shame, because a potentially WONDERFUL instrumental track is ruined by some AWFUL vocal samples. I love the frantic and thumping techno, but I really don't need repeated, distorted, tinny AND chipmunked vocals telling me over and over again that they "don't give a fuck". 03: TRACK NINETEEN I feel like apologising as I have given a few of these tracks a mauling, and I'm about to do it again. This one's instrumental funk-dance, almost Daft Punk-esque. But alas it's very repetitive and the effects are all off-key and distorted. I know that that was obviously the intention behind the track, but it makes for one really annoying listen. In particular I hate the out-of-tune screechy violin. 08: TRACK TWENTY A sweet and twinkly ballad which I suspect with a few more listens will grow on me even further and I will grow to love. It's like a less wet version of Snow Patrol's You Could Be Happy. 05: TRACK TWENTY-ONE Keeping in with the low-key, down-tempo feel for the album closer. Swirling ambient production with breathy female vocals - it's a bit like a colder Goldfrapp. It's the sort of thing I'd normally love, but this isn't clicking with me. It doesn't feel like there's a lot of structure to the song, just random song segments strung together complete with random blippy noises. It's quite difficult to review this CD as a whole really as it's so diverse. Aside from a solid block of European female folk (tracks 6 through to 9), it's a real eclectic mix of genres (rap, techno, Euro pop, folk, electropop, ambient, MOR, hip-hop, rock - it all features here) and there's no obvious pattern or logical order to the track sequencing (the thumping Jay-Z rap of track 5 for instance is really quite jarring sandwiched in between the haunting ambience of track 4 and the cutesy MOR of track 6). I guess the only real theme I could pluck from this is that there's a heavy focus on promoting non-English music (I would hazard a guess at the majority being Eastern European?). A good two thirds of this album is non-English. At the risk of sounding like a right little Englander, this works and at the same time it doesn't for me personally. On the plus side, this is a great demonstration of the fact that there IS more to European music than the stereotypical rubbishgai $h!te you see on Eurovision or Melodifestivalen year in year out (admittedly one of my own common misconceptions); a lot of this is more interesting and experimental than you'd ever get in the UK or US charts. Most of this isn't commercial at all, but that suits me fine. On the downside, one of the reasons I don't connect so well with non-English tracks isn't so much that I'm a narrow-minded moron, but simply that where there are vocals in the song I like to be able to at least try and understand the song's message, which obviously isn't possible when you don't understand the language. So I had to try and judge on the music and the music alone, and some of the tracks took a little longer than normal to sink in with me. So unfortunately there was always going to be a little bit of a block on my enjoyment of this. But still to end on a positive note, I have made some worthwhile discoveries. I also appreciate the effort that someone has obviously gone to in order to include a little bit of something for everyone. Tracks 2, 4 and 6 in particular are DEFINITE keepers for my I-Pod, so thank you to whoever made this (my guess is either Pavel or FM11?). Also the artwork, despite being about 9 years old, never fails to make me chuckle. http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/7/73431/1475527-who_wants_to_be_a_millionaire_12950_super.jpg

Wasn't Louis Shayne Ward's mentor?

You're assuming I was thrilled when Cherly got the gig. I wasn't, and I'm fully aware that she was also sorely limited in her expertise - she was never given a category to challenge her mentoring skills, and her song choices were frequently uninspired or downright WRONG. My reaction there was similar to my feelings on Tulisa now. Neither had any real place being on the judging panel. I'm not saying they should be going for stone-cold industry bores. I'm going to hark back to Sharon Osbourne again as an example; she fits your criteria of being a "hot mess" who refused to stand in line and play ball, but equally she had enough knowledge and industry experience to offer the hopefuls. Tulisa has her own experience yes, but how is she going to able to effectively advise say a 26 year old male MOR singer or a middle-aged gospel collective? You've already said yourself there's no way they could really give her certain categories - to my mind that's a perfect example of why she's not quite suitable for a judging position - she may not be mentoring those over 28s, but she's still going to be expected to pass judgement week in, week out.

I'm not claiming the X Factor to be the most professional or credible music talent show out there. Clearly it isn't. But I don't see that this necessarily means that any old two-bit chav of the month should be given a stage to appraise or ridicule the singing talents of Joe Public in front of millions. There's a happy medium surely? The show worked before when they had proper industry experts just fine - personally I thought the Simon/Sharon/Louis dynamic worked the best out of all the judging combinations so far, even if Sharon is a bitter old harridan. We were all entertained back then, just as much as we are now. I just don't think there's any actual NEED to pander to the lowest common denominator.

This news prompted me to watch a few old X Factor clips, and you know it really struck me the STATE that the show is now in. When it began we had a judging panel of Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Sharon Osbourne. Regardless of your personal feelings towards them, they undoubtedly HAD judging credentials and they all had $h!tLOADS of experience working behind the scenes in the music industry. Fast forward 7 years, and we're now getting TULISA from N-Dubz. Tell me the show hasn't gone the pan.

GOOD GRIEF I never thought I'd say this, but bring back Cherly

Dandy hath officially lost all "alternative" credibility. You are now about as indie as I am!

I have listened to mine all the way through a couple of times now, and I'm not really any closer to writing a review. It's going to take a while for some of these tracks to sink in. Despite a varied intro, near the middle of the album there's a LOT of female singer/songwriter. Also I just want to echo the love for Don't Fear The Reaper - AMAZING and probably one of my all-time favourites. And I also think it's BRILLIANT that someone put the Barbarellas on a CD - are they not the flop comeback where the twins of B*Witched try to pretend they're now Lady GaGa clones?

The Cheeky Girls are definitely NOT British. We're not claiming them.

+15 Queen & David Bowie 'Under Pressure' +12 Yazz 'The Only Way Is Up' +10 Eurythmics 'There Must Be An Angel' +08 Black Box 'Ride On Time' +06 John Lennon 'Imagine' +05 A-Ha 'The Sun Always Shines On TV' +04 Madonna 'Like A Prayer' +03 Pet Shop Boys 'West End Girls' +02 T'Pau 'China In Your Hand' +01 Belinda Carlisle 'Heaven Is A Place On Earth' -02 Culture Club 'Karma Chameleon'

Right...according to...?

+15 Queen & David Bowie 'Under Pressure' +12 The Communards 'Don't Leave Me This Way' +10 The Police 'Every Breath You Take' +08 T'Pau 'China In Your Hand' +06 Blondie 'Call Me' +05 Roxy Music 'Jealous Guy' +04 Starship 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now' +03 Jennifer Rush 'The Power Of Love' +02 Fairground Attraction 'Perfect' +01 Europe 'The Final Countdown' -02 Kylie & Jason 'Especially For You'

I read an article a couple of days ago that suggested Robbie Williams is already helping to write songs for the next TT album...

"SHE GAVE SIMON COWELL SEXUAL FAVOURS FOR THIS JOB" would be a great tagline I think.

Annie Lennox LESBIAN? Well I would never have thought it of her.

We're actually busy debating the merits of adding a Sara Bareilles forum, but thanks for showing an interest anyway.

Boogie Pimps methinks. Vaguely disturbing video aside, it's uninspired and repetitive.

Judgement hath been made. The following forums are to be archived over the next week or so; Alicia Keys Christina Aguilera Delta Goodrem Nelly Furtado Shakira The Beatles The Killers We have given Sophie Ellis-Bextor an extra month to prove itself, as it DID see a small boost in activity through April, but we're not convinced it's not a fluke to be honest. Also next up, the following forums are now on the one month "probation" period. If activity doesn't pick up through the rest of May/June, they will also be archived away and left to float around cyberspace. Anastacia Black Eyed Peas Kelly Clarkson The Pussycat Dolls