Qassändra

Bad news - Ace Wilder's dye job has turned her into Malena Ernman http://i63.tinypic.com/11tudzm.png

Ha. Is it estimated to have voted Brexit at constituency level? I don't really have much truck with the constituent rep/national rep argument either way. It's a representative system, not a delegate system - take your position and fight your election on it.

I am SCREAMING with VINTAGE MELODIFESTIVALEN JOY at One More Night! *o* And OMG at Ace's chorus

My INITIAL PREDICTION: DTG: Nano, Ace Wilder AC: Adrijana, De vet du 05: Boris René 06: Dinah Nah 07: Charlotte Perrelli

http://www.kiel-goeteborg.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/goteborg-center.jpg http://i.imgur.com/UGMiaQ8.jpg In times of misery, despair, and Ed Sheeran, only one obstacle stood between queer liberty and the rise of fascism That obstacle was one nation's Eurovision selection: a festival of women with hair in shades of magenta never seen in nature, of witness protection programs that send white people in front of a nation to pretend to be from Tanzania, and of 28 tracks which without fail provide at least 20 exquisitely crafted bangers to keep all listeners safe in the deep eurovisionless midwinters. Bangers that cross cultural boundaries, bangers that appeal as much to office Spotify listeners as they do to hardcore fans who can in one breath name the definitive ranking of all Afro-dite's entries group and solo (for the record: aqua playa > the boy can dance > innan natten är over > det vackraste jag vet). Bangers helmed by some of Sweden's biggest stars that are responsible for the nation's Eurovision selection being more popular than Eurovision itself. Contemplate that. Last year this festival was corrupted, besmirched by a victorious interloper (the keepers of this divine festival dare not speak his name). But legend holds that every time this precious festival is invaded by unfabulous heterosexuality which rejects its dearest principles, it returns the following year all the stronger: ready to right the wrongs of a cruel world with glitter, key changes and enough chiffon to cause famines in Serbia let the greatest six weeks of the year begin http://i.imgur.com/u7PR9Wn.jpg 01: Boris René - Her Kiss Text och Musik: Tim Larsson och Tobias Lundgren Best known for: Forsaking a career as a footballer to come 10th last year with William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 2.75 / 7/4 / =4th William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen as of 1st Feb (d / f): 26.00 / 25/1 (=13th favourite to win) oh for fuck's sake this really isn't doing my "come back stronger" theory any favours Anyway this bitch is kicking things off, having last year attested to Sweden's status as the gayest nation ever, where there's more money in attempting to do Eurovision than in being a professional footballer (and I tell you what not even your average UK NF could get me on board with the idea of a WAYNE ROONEY EUROVISION ENTRY so I'll stay begrudgingly thankful that isn't the case here between you and me loves) In fairness to him, Put Your Love On Me was a study in the art of making a little go a long way - basic as fuck but actually one of the most insidiously hooky stormers last year had to offer. That said, regardless of whether or not you got on board, it can't exactly be said the whole "hen night kicks its heels off for a night on the tiles at Infernos" vibe to the thing left you DRIPPING AT THE CHUFF for a return. But here we are and it's opening the damn thing so if I were you I'd probably steel myself for the likelihood of hearing it again once or twice in the next few weeks. He's hooked up with the veteran MF songwriters Larsson and Lundgren, who were responsible for Put Your Love On Me and a LOT of other tracks from Melodipast (including but not limited to the indomitable Alcastar, Alla flickor, Om natten, Hur svårt kan det va, Elektrisk, Heartbreak Hotel, and last year's Maltese entry Walk On Water). So they know their way around a hook. But will Her Kiss be even the slightest bit essential enough to make you not resent a qualification fuelled by people who like their music sounding like a Harvester advert? http://i.imgur.com/hBZg8iM.jpg 02: Adrijana - Amare Text och Musik: Martin Tjärnberg och Adrijana Krasniqi Best known for: She AIN'T William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 7.00 / 6/1 / 7th William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen as of 1st Feb (d / f): 51.00 / 50/1 This woman is apparently 19. I know the Balkans had a hard time of it in the 90s but COME OFF IT LOVE THE WARS WERE OVER BY THEN http://i.imgur.com/LFCdLrd.jpg This has been put in the death slot of second. And it's not a real surprise - 'hatchet faced Macedonian immigrant bringing hip hop to the Swedish masses' isn't what you'd GENERALLY finger as a formula for Melodifestivalen success. Trust me - there's form for this gamble in Kwanzaa - Lovin Your Feen (the results were so disastrous all evidence it ever happened has been erased from Youtube) But despite her debut being exactly the kind of 2013-esque trap headache you'd expect to be seventh with a bullet, there are rumblings from the reviews that this is something much more special. Word is this is the kind of synth joy that wouldn't be out of place if Beyoncé went Swedish, and if latest preview single Nån som mig is anything to go Adrijana's more than capable of marrying a bit of melody and BLESSÉD SYNTH to her hip hop. This is the one I'm keeping an eye out for as a dark horse this Saturday - but will the lack of name power hold Adrijana back in what's already a deeply competitive heat? http://i.imgur.com/oC82hZE.jpg 03: Dinah Nah - One More Night Text och Musik: Thomas G:son, Jimmy Jansson, Dinah Nah och dr alban Best known for: Redefining the ambition of female hardklubb Melodifestivalen entries forevermore with 90s odyssey Make Me (La La La) William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 2.75 / 7/4 / =4th William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen as of 1st Feb (d / f): 21.00 / 20/1 (12th favourite to win) In 2015, I was confronted by an orgy of strobe lights, unflinching beats with force unseen outside total warfare, and a single glowing beacon of magenta. I fell to the ground, shaking, convulsing, crying. The flashing lights made others suspect epilepsy, but a trip to A&E and three screaming fits later the doctor told me: I had actually just been Saved. It was the greatest thing I had ever seen: an anthem most at home staggering around a Vauxhall dancefloor at 3am under the influence of select substances and unsure if you can even focus your eyesight long enough to order an Uber home, delivered by a siren both clearly unable to dance if her life depended on it but also responsible for the first ever competent vocal delivery of a straight-up club banger at Melodifestivalen. Thereafter I made it my mission to save others, establishing Chrisdinahnahty and reading from the Book of Nah to all who would listen, taking Robot and Vülker into my flock. The power of a crashed app vote in the final during her performance allowed me to avoid the pain of cognitive dissonance when our sweet Lady of Nah finished last, reasoning that her sheer popularity overloaded an undersupplied app voting network. And after all - if even I couldn't even that Uber home (reliably choosing instead to go back to that mildly sinister 40 year old's place), how were Ms Nah's supporters to be expected to focus their eyes long enough to dial her voting number? I knew she would return one day to save me. And we have been graced beyond great measure. As all appalling artists know, the only way to defeat neon orange is with neon pink. Displaying a similar predilection for offensive and narrow-minded depictions of Hispanic culture to our new fascistic overlord, our Saviour Ms Nah has allegedly returned in six-inch heels with a homage to the definitive Latinx-aping Scandinavian NF entry: . With a NINETIES RAP BREAKDOWN (this paragraph took me about half an hour to write due to intermittent hysterical crying fits) When the blackshirts come for me I will be playing this on blast. But will Sweden be playing this on blast again beyond this Saturday? http://i.imgur.com/jb7KtqP.jpg 04: De vet du - Road Trip Text och Musik: John Gunter Berg och Christopher Martland Best known for: Samir & Viktor-esque Youtube comedy troupe who've crossed over to live bookings William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 2.38 / 11/8 / 3rd William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen as of 1st Feb (d / f): 17.00 / 16/1 (11th favourite to win) Oh fuck off. http://i.imgur.com/WIBKBtY.jpg 05: Charlotte Perrelli - Mitt liv Text och Musik: Charlotte Perrelli och Lars Hagglund Best known for: Eurovision winner, schlager royalty, and William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 3.00 / 2/1 / 6th William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen as of 1st Feb (d / f): 26.00 / 25/1 pictured - me when some queens affect disappointment at the forthcoming Charlotte Perrelli entry in my presence You. Yes, you. You can shut the fuck up. This woman has NOTHING LEFT TO PROVE TO YOU. You come back when you have won Eurovision not only once but TWICE (coincidentally birthing the now popular term "fake news" the second time, when despite winning with all the 12s with the unanswerable apex of Western civilisation some queens decided to spread rumours that she actually finished 18th. be warned that I have pushed people down stairs for sharing this repulsive Russian propaganda.) I was wary, I admit. On hearing of my queen's return my excitement was so fervent it was covered in Swedish tabloids, but the news that her inconceivable failure in 2012 with The Girl had led min Harlot to turn her back on schlager and pick up the acoustic guitar was a kick in the balls so brutal I feared I would never survive during those dark days in December. But if Britney could get through Iggy Azalea, I could get through this. This woman has paid her dues and needs to have her Joanne moment. And that is fine. Don't you dare say a fucking thing otherwise or so help me god I will HAVE WORDS. http://i.imgur.com/4AKlehU.jpg 06: Ace Wilder - Wild Child Text och Musik: Peter Bostrom, Thomas G:son och Ace Wilder Best known for: Being Sweden's poster child for aging disgracefully with 2014 MF 2nd placer and last year's 3rd placer William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 1.44 / 4/9 / 1st William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 8.00 / 7/1 (=4th favourite to win) A friend of mine has a close friend who lived an entirely respectable married life in a lovely house until her mid-30s. One day her husband served her with divorce papers. Within two months she was taking cocaine weekly. Within six months she was evicted from her house, having spent all of her mortgage repayment money on the devil's dandruff. Ace Wilder has mustered a career thus far pretending to be the human embodiment of this impulse. It's done her well so far. Busy Doin' Nothin' took everybody by surprise three years ago, going from heat filler no-hoper to pushing Sweden's sweetheart Sanna Nielsen within two points of victory in the final as the breakout hit of the year. Don't Worry exceeded all expectations and managed to overcome Ace's FOUL CONSTANT MUGGING to somehow win me over completely to this bitch, being so catchy I literally haven't gone a week without listening to it and identifying worryingly deeply with about half the lyrics. As my friend's story attests to, we can all feel a sense of lost youth when things start to go wrong. Staring the chill wind of her 60s in the face, Ace Wilder has realised it's now or never for her dream of winning Melodifestivalen, and after two anthems dedicated to being an immature hot mess, the lady (and lord knows she hasn't been a girl for a while) is deciding to protest too much for a third time in a row with a track literally called Wild Child (a bit ON THE NOSE you may say but when was the last time a woman who went onstage in front of a nation in a metal breastplate was renowned for subtlety and nuance?) But this is the problem: if you don't manage it the second time around after your breakout year, there isn't a hell of a lot of precedent for making it beyond that. Shirley Clamp came back to one of the most ignominious and shocking failures with her third bite as a star. Andreas Johnson collaborated with the biggest star in Sweden short of ABBA and got relegated to an andra chansen exit. Måns went into exile and wandered the deserts for six years before returning with something unrecognisable from his first two hits. Put simply, the Swedes haven't demonstrated much capacity for not getting a bit sick of the same old shit three times in. An Goodness knows our Ace is a game bird who won't take no for an answer though - and all the more power to her! *.* And with Wild Child she has one of the greatest songwriting duos ever mustered in MF - G:son och Bostrom, erstwhile geniuses behind the likes of Evighet, I'm In Love, and Euphoria. Is it enough to overcome the traditional MF trend of third time unlucky? http://i.imgur.com/exazWlq.jpg 07: Nano - Hold On Text och Musik: Nano Omar, Gino Yonan, ayak, Carl Rydén, Christoffer Belaieff, Rikard de Bruin, David Francis Jackson Best known for: Had a hit in Sweden in 2015 with William Hill odds on going direkt till finalen (decimal / fractional / projected heat finish): 1.73 / 8/11 / 2nd William Hill odds on winning Melodifestivalen (d / f): 9.00 / 8/1 (6th favourite to win) On paper this isn't one I'd get excited about at all - his big hit Perfect Melody sounds like pretty much everything that has sapped my desire to listen to a single Spotify recommendation in the last three years - but someone without much name power doesn't get the pimp slot in a star-packed heat for no reason. Emotional gospel-tinged pop is on offer here, and the whispers are that this is the first track of the year that could unquestionably go all the way. I'm hoping for something close to recent single The Day I'm Gone, which has the twist of darkness you could see his Weekend-esque voice doing damage with on something bigger. The test? You lot - if you're on board with something like this by the end of Saturday, we could well have our winner a week in. If so, I'd advise to keep an eye out for the famed ACE FACE OF HATE during the results *.* --- Here's the projected timetable for the week: Thursday: Reviews of the rehearsals with thirty second clips of the performances on SVT.se, and a minute-long clip of the studio versions in the afternoon. You can take your impressions with a pinch of salt - in traditional fashion I will be taking them with a pinch of hyperbole. Friday: Reviews of the second rehearsal and the notoriously hit-or-miss results of the 'gen-rep' poll of audience members at the rehearsals Saturday: In previous years 2:30 clips of the studio versions of the songs were uploaded to SVT in the early afternoon around 1pm (GMT), but the 1 minute clips this year may see those retired. A livestream of the heat will start at 7pm GMT on svt.se/melodifestivalen GO GO GO MIN ÄLSKLINGAR

Thread'll be up this evening if you can all HOLD YOURSELVES OFF on the early reviews *.*

What the fuck? She hardly spent a life bemoaning what she doesn't have. She seems whenever mentioned to have been quite reserved about it. She certainly hasn't come across as someone trying to actively solace sympathy or weeping about what a hard time she's had, and you couldn't even begin to know if it's something her and her husband have discussed. You're coming off as a complete cock with this line of very personalised and presumptive argument, in honesty.

...I'm not at all what you would describe as a Corbyn supporter but comparisons between Corbyn and Trump are so unfounded as to be almost offensive. There's sacking someone because of disobedience (which any leader has the right to do) and sacking someone because they won't argue that your violation of the Constitution is legal.

i'm stretching my fingers loves *.*

Sorry but this argument is fucking disgusting.

I'm going to be IN THE SAME STADIUM as THOSE THREE ICONS IN FOUR DAYS *o*

Banning Muslims from eight countries does more for America than giving health insurance to 20 million Americans? You think it's more important 20,000 brown people don't enter a nation of 300 million than a good chunk of those get treatment for whatever ailments they have?

Yes, that doesn't really change that only a relatively small number of votes needed to be held by Labour vs the SNP for the pro-independence parties to not get a majority though. The constituency vote was only 0.5% down, but it was in part because the shift of voters from Labour to the SNP was disguised by the number that went from the Lib Dems to Labour. Similar to how Labour's vote in 2015 actually went up because of Lib Dem converts (who were distributed unevenly across the country), which disguised that a lot went to Ukip and the Tories.

"They're saying Hitler shouldn't visit because he's making Jews wear yellow stars. Ridiculous. It's German policy so nothing to do with us." Do you have any sense of common humanity whatsoever?

Hang on, I didn't say he was gonna WIN, just that he's probably the most realistic candidate who can both win and won't set everything on fire

Yeah, probably. Valls seems to me like New Labour at its populist verging-on-Islamophobic worst (he made his name as mayor originally calling on supermarkets to not stock halal meat for crying out loud). Hamon is well-meaning but pie in the sky as f*** - I don't see any way the universal basic income works in practice (it's horrendously expensive - we're talking around 400 billion euros annually - just to get it to raise enough to give everyone the equivalent of JSA each week. That proposed tax on robotics ain't gonna cover that.) and he's made it the centrepiece of his campaign. Macron as far as I can see seems like "keep everything roughly as it is now but WITH AN APP". I mean...when the rest of the world's on fire and everyone else would either actively take France backwards or cripple the left for a generation with sheer inability, why not? Moderate spending increases with a focus on productivity gains to try and avoid austerity in future seems good. From a broader perspective, he actually gets the EU and is probably the best hope it has if he were in charge with Merkel.

I'm always sceptical of articles like those that stack up so much of their argument on anecdotal "I met a black man in Plymouth" evidence - all sorts believe all sorts, and it's not particularly hard to find someone from a given ethnic background who'll give you a view you wouldn't necessarily expect if you look long enough (indeed, you had a fair few 'blacks voting for Trump' articles in a similar vein). I have no doubt that an actual poll of French Muslims would find overwhelming opposition to Le Pen, just as the black vote overwhelmingly opposed Trump. But articles like those will act as if token Muslim support is a big reason for it when chances are it's the big turnout from a grumbling old lady on the bus who doesn't say a word but just glares at the woman in a headscarf who just got on.

They only had two seats in 2011 though. A lot of SNP constituency gains in 2011 were with narrow majorities - Labour would've only needed to hold on to about 800 votes against the SNP in this scenario in each of about eight or nine seats (when accounting for recompensating gains for the SNP on the list as a result of the losses) for there to have not been a pro-independence majority.

It's the white people. The same thing happened in the London mayoral election last year - Zac Goldsmith's vote was actually up on Boris's in Muslim-majority ward despite being up against the first Muslim candidate for mayor. It wasn't the Muslims in those areas voting for Zac though - it was the elderly white population in those areas that resented the change. I can't imagine many Socialist voters going to Le Pen over Macron in round 2. Le Pen's support is as high as it is (and the Socialists' as low as it is) because a lot of those working class voters have already long gone over to the National Front. The remaining rump of Socialist voters are the French equivalent of Guardian-reading croissant-munc-oh wait.

HOLD THE PHONE - Lithuania has DONE IT AGAIN *.* These pouting lovelies (who I'm certain were formed as the vampy Aryan answer to Afro-Dite) came second on the televote tonight with this brave and imaginative response to the injustices of the EU's common fisheries policy. tdq8N-KMrA0 Once more - WTF has Lithuania been hiding all of this BRILLIANTLY PRODUCED NONSENSE ALL THESE YEARS?!

There's no way he'd have stuck to that line if the referendum had been on welfare. I can't say I envy him the decision, but Labour wouldn't be in anywhere near as perilous a position if they'd had an at least vaguely regarded leader to begin with. It's the combination of his diabolical reputation with the public and the (very admittedly) brutal cleaving of the electorate that's got it to this stage. ---- I'm absolutely not a fan whatsoever of David Miliband and think he was exceptionally overrated, but christ - we wouldn't be here if only the aloof prick had deigned to talk to a few more backbenchers personally for second preferences. I don't think he'd have won in 2015, but there's a very good argument that the SNP surge wouldn't have happened (ironically for "branch office" reasons - there's no way DM would have allowed Iain Gray to lead Scottish Labour into the 2011 election. Just enough seats to prevent an SNP majority = no independence referendum = no SNP surge in 2015 = minority Tory or Labour government now. I'd take that.) (sorry, it's one of those evenings.)

...in what sense? It's all still going to happen. He might throw the odd tantrum but nobody in his party seems willing to stop him on everything he's doing. Few in the Democrats seem willing to oppose him either, which is legitimately jawdropping. They just WON BY THREE MILLION VOTES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. THE REPUBLICANS WON IN LARGE PART BECAUSE OF THEIR OPPOSITIONALISM FROM DAY ONE OF OBAMA'S PRESIDENCY JESUS F CHRIST WHY HAVE THEY NOT LEARNED FROM THAT

Break it down for me - have we got another Saule riet on our hands here or not?

it's still a mainstay of my essentials playlist now.

Well now you've so resoundingly settled this argument by just referring to what they called themselves, I presume you will never again question that the Labour Party are the representatives of the workers or that the Liberal Democrats are the true democrats in British politics. After all, they call themselves that, so by your token apparently it never gets to be questioned.