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Mushymanrob

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    The US President responds to criticism that his administration is doing nothing to halt climate change with a seven-pronged plan

     

    Hi. As we face the manifest danger of the future with unopened hope, it is time now to respond carefully to all your fears. That's why myself and my team of scientific advisers have dedicated this space to providing answers to great questions of science that have haunted man since the dawn of the past few months.

     

    Q. Should we be doing something about global warming?

    A. No. Because we're not the problem. Studies by my scientists have shown that there is a growing threat to our well-being from the sun. It is therefore up to the sun to back down from its reckless posturing. We will make every effort to put pressure on it to do so, using military force if necessary. The sun doesn't scare me. I fully intend to go about my business at noon every day, without a hat.

     

    Q. Should we have a summit to agree a plan to cut carbon emissions?

    A. No. Summits involve lots of air flights, which are bad for the environment. The recent Stern report was more than 700 pages long, which is bad for the rainforests.

     

    Q: What's the answer to this?

    A: Summit farms. Farms in the local community that grow small summits. Some people might say that this is impossible. But I say that nothing is impossible with my team of scientists. People said the balloon was impossible; now look around you and what d'you see? Balloons everywhere!

     

    Q: Should we rethink air travel?

    A: Of course. And my scientists are making progress on a new science that can do this. As you know, at the time of Judgment, at the End of All Things, the righteous and born-again will be lifted up bodily into Heaven in a religious phenomenon known as the Rapture. We're working on ways of harnessing this immense source of lifting-up power to see if it can be used to lift up planes without the use of fuel. Clearly, there's a long way to go before Rapture Flights are fully operational, but I've a good feeling we'll get there.

     

    Q: Until then, what should we do about flying?

    A: Keep flying. If we stopped flying, we'd have to take boats. And more boats on the sea would lead to a dramatic rise in the sea level. I've asked my scientists to come up with conclusions that show this.

     

    Q: Do you agree that if we don't do anything to halt global warming, the world's economy will shrink by 20 per cent?

    A: No. As things get worse, there will be more Hollywood disaster movies being made and this can only be good for the economy. There will, naturally, come a tipping point where the types of disaster recreated by the special effects in the films is actually nicer than what's happening in reality. At this point, the films will become aspirational, which can only be a good thing.

    When things get really bad, a whole new genre of Hollywood film will emerge, called Lack of Disaster Movies. In them, heroes such as Bruce Willis and Brad Pitt will fight to stop entire cities being engulfed by boredom because weather patterns are consistent and under control. CGI grass will be everywhere. It will be an urban nightmare.

     

    Q: So, if things get really bad, what should we do other than panic?

    A: Walk it off. Walking is good for you. I walk every day and it always makes me feel better. I think if we got every living creature to walk a couple of miles a day, we'd all perk up and not feel so hot. I'm asking my scientists to keep thinking like this.

     

     

    sounds like bollox to me...lol

    News reports that the country is now beginning to see demonstrations based upon ethnic divides... Shias in support of the death sentence, Sunnis in support of Saddam.....

     

    This is not going to end well...... :unsure:

     

     

    of course it wont, it never was going to end peacefully, regardless of wether or not 'we' were involved.

     

     

    tbh, with religious issues becoming more prominent, energy prices rising, the pressures on society due to immigration, im not liking the vision of the future that is becoming evident.... the future is looking very bleak.

    Well, surely it's a good thing if it retains the original vocal?

     

     

    tracks are born out of current fashions, whatever the era, they are pertainent to that time and belong there.

     

    why do it? why not just write new vocals? im totally against tracks from MY past being updated by some lazy pillock just to make money.

    graham gouldman of 10cc had been a successful songwriter in the 60's for several top groups, including.... the yardbirds!

     

     

    i couldnt stand 10cc tbh! although as 'hotlegs' in 1970 did a great track 'neanderthal man'.

    'all around the world' (jam, 77) was just about my fav 'punk/new wave' tracks.. it was utter class capturing the spirit of the new sounds in '77.

     

    'funeral pyre' was also a great track and i liked most of jams hits.

     

    however

     

    i regard paul weller as one of the worst plagarists of all time, knicking riffs shamelessly. (ok, todays music is full of 'samples' but he gave no credit to his scources)

     

    he pinched heavily from the kinks, beatles and even e.l.o. (changing man is 10538 overture)

    LOVED 'into the valley' (but wtf were the lyrics?...lol) i rated the skids as one of 'new waves' best acts. 2 members went on to form 'fine young canibals' i believe (memory slipping!)

     

    i didnt much like big country, they were mid 80's pop that were not influencial at all, but were a decent enough group.

    5-11-64: Presenter: Pete Murray (Wiped)

     

    THE ROCKIN’ BERRIES – He’s In Town.................................................. :thumbup:

    THE SHANGRI-LAS – Remember (Walkin’ In The Sand)........................... :) but morbid

    THE PRETTY THINGS – Don’t Bring Me Down............................................. :thumbup:

    THE NASHVILLE TEENS – Google Eye (video)........................................... :thumbup:

    THE KINKS – All Day And All Of The Night .............................. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

    THE SEARCHERS – When You Walk In The Room................................................ :thumbup:

    THE SUPREMES – Baby Love (crowd dancing)

    WAYNE FONTANA & THE MINDBENDERS – Um, Um, Um, Um, Um, Um........................ :thumbup:

    SANDIE SHAW – (There’s) Always Something There To Remind Me ...................... :thumbup:

     

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    5-11-70: Presenter: Jimmy Savile (Wiped)

     

    MATTHEWS SOUTHERN COMFORT – Woodstock (and charts)............................ :)

    .EDWIN STARR – War (video).................................................................... :)

    .THE RATTLES – The Witch (crowd dancing)............................................ :thumbup:

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    5-11-81: Presenter: Peter Powell.

     

    MODERN ROMANCE – Ay Ay Ay Ay Moosey.............................................. <_<

    .ABC – Tears Are Not Enough ......................................................... :)

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    5-11-87: Presenters: Janice Long/Mike Smith.

     

    .GEORGE HARRISON – Got My Mind Set On You (video) .................................. :thumbup:

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    5-11-92: Presenter: Tony Dortie.

     

    .THE SHAMEN – Boss Drum (video)............................... :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

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    5-11-99: Presenter: Jamie Theakston.

     

    MACY GRAY – I Try................................................................. :)

    .MARIAH CAREY – Heartbreaker.......................... :puke2: :puke2: :puke2: :puke2:

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    5-11-2004: Presenters: Fearne Cotton/Reggie Yates (Live)

     

    DANIEL BEDINGFIELD – Nothing Hurts Like Love.............................. :puke2:

    GWEN STEFANI – What You Waiting For? ........................................................ :thumbup:

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    4-11-65: Presenters: Pete Murray/Alan Freeman (Wiped)

     

    THE EVERLY BROTHERS – Love Is Strange

    THE SEEKERS – The Carnival Is Over

    LEN BARRY – 1-2-3 (video)............................................ :thumbup:

    MATT MONRO – Yesterday

    SONNY & CHER – But You’re Mine (video)........................... :)

    DAVE BERRY – I’m Gonna Take You There

    THE ANIMALS – It’s My Life ................................................ :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

    THE FORTUNES – Here It Comes Again

    BRIAN POOLE & THE TREMELOES – Good Lovin’

    THE ROLLING STONES – Get Off My Cloud

     

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    4-11-71: Presenter: Jimmy Savile (Wiped)

     

    SPRINGWATER – I Will Return (video)...................................................... :)

    SLADE – Coz I Luv You........................................................................ :thumbup:

    ROD STEWART – Maggie May............................................................... :)

    THE WHO – Let’s See Action (crowd dancing) (and credits)............................. :)

     

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    4-11-76: Presenter: Noel Edmonds.

     

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    4-11-82: Presenter: Mike Smith.

     

    WHAM! – Young Guns (Go For It)

    .BLANCMANGE- Living On The Ceiling

     

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    4-11-93: Presenter: Tony Dortie.

     

     

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    Exactly... This whole concept of 'original sin' is just plain bullsh!t.... How the hell can anyone be born a sinner ffs.....? <_< Wicked, pernicious and blatantly all about control and brainwashing...

     

     

    well if GOD wanted to allow original sin then thats HIS prerogative! :lol:

    Mate, they're Goth/Indie.... :lol:

     

    But they will be featuring very prominently in my upcoming "Grim's Top 50 Fave Indie/Alt Tunes"... So stay tuned for that one.... :)

     

     

    i dont know much about them, thought they fitted your style and might have released a dancy type track... it was a guess! lol

    oh please, what a ridiculous comment.

     

    Television is like art - making a statement like you have here, it's like saying... "How can music move you?" "How can that painting make you smile?".... nonsensical, absolutely ridiculous.

     

    A programme as beautifully crafted and acted as the Royle Family has its strength in its ability to make you feel like part of their family - the absolute genius in the writing is that you feel genuine empathy and sympathy with the characters - the Royle Family is EVERYONE'S family - so of COURSE it can make you laugh, it can make you cry.

     

    All credit to Liz Smith and Sue Johnstone for that achingly sad scene where Barabra was doing her Mum's hair... it was possibly one of the most perfect scenes I've ever seen on television. There wasn't a dry eye in our house. Perfect - I'd love to see Hollywood try a scene like that - it wouldn't even come close.

     

    This was further proof that Cash and moreso Aherne are not only head and shoulders above all our other comedy writers - they're the best in the world right now... I do hope this is recognised at any forthcoming awards.....

     

     

    very eloquent russ and spot on.

    craigs got a vallied point about 'scum begetting scum' (my words not his). there IS a perpetual generation generating scum families as many people grow up to emulate their parent/s. kids from rough families tend to breed like rabbits and produce more scum families.

     

    as for chavs..... there have ALWAYS been 'yobs', 'bovverboys', call em whatever, every generation has their youth culture out of which a minority give the rest a bad name.

    GIMME A B

    GIMME AN O

    GIMME A V

    GIMME another V

     

    ..You see where Im going with this...

     

    But he just...

     

    GIMME AN AM

    GIMME AN I

     

    I AINT Bovvered.

     

     

    but it just ISNT funny anymore! it isnt a joke that is amusing past its second hearing.

    Last nights was sooo funny. Some people complain about it being the same but she actually has a lot of different characters every week...its not the same sketch word for word repeated, it's different...that is why people like it, its no different to liking cathphrases like "have you had your tea" or "Doh" but people dont say they're repeatative.

     

    It's actually funny that way and if you dont like, you just dont find it funny!

     

    The fundraiser is flipping genius.

     

    "Do ya know that every 38 minutes some poor temp bends down to put a file in the bottom drawer & gets shafted up the ass."

     

    "REally, every 38 minutes?"

     

    "Think about all those secreteraries who open their mouth to yawn and someone shoves a c**k in...if you dont believe it log on to the website www.bummedbytheboss.com"

     

    So good to see Derek again too

     

    "Just because a man knows the words to All About Eve you accuse him of being a reciever of swollen goods...Well I find you impertanent"

     

     

    when a comedian resorts to smut you know they are getting desperate for new ideas... tate has lost the inspiration that made her so refreshingly funny.