Ghoulian

Our carrier pigeon has safely arrived in Danæviia with the New Helvetian votes. We realise we are a little behind but our BJSC#1 votes will be arriving soon.

The Game track is quite good - several I’d pick before it. Going for James MorriZZZon.

Also Usher

2nd - it dropped out 3 weeks ago before rebounding briefly with the new single

“Thriller” comes behind both “Billie Jean” and “Beat It” for me, but still tops this group. 9 Michael Jackson Thriller The ultimate spooky song: only the 7th release from the album which perhaps explains its rather low peak 8 The Assembly Never Never Only single for this synth pop group written by future Erasure writer Vince Clarke: it's a really lovely song 8 Paul Young Love Of The Common People A cover of a late '60s song with various earlier versions: this really manages to make the song come alive 7 The Police Synchronicity II I think this is slightly more successful than "Wrapped Around Your Finger": quite a punchy and engaging song 7 Eurythmics Right By Your Side Their 4th Top 10 hit of the year: it's very different from the others with a calypso feel, but a lovely warm track 7 The Rolling Stones Undercover Of The Night The lead from their 17th album: a great song with a slightly funky and interesting shimmering instrumental 6 Aztec Camera Oblivious {1983 Re-Release} A re-release giving this Scottish band their 1st Top 40: it's a very nice and well written new wave pop song 6 The Style Council A Solid Bond In Your Heart Their 4th hit in 8 months: it's not a huge standout but a good track that was written by Paul as part of The Jam 6 Marilyn Calling Your Name 1st and biggest hit for this UK singer: it's nothing groundbreaking but a very well performed, enjoyable song 5 ABC That Was Then But This Is Now The 2nd album lead, and not as successful as their last few hits, but good despite the "apple crumble" lyric 5 Madness The Sun And The Rain Their 15th Top 10 hit incredibly, though after this their chart fortunes will go downhill: it's quite a nice track 5 AC/DC Guns For Hire The lead from their 9th album so #37 is a relative underperformance: it's nothing new but still a decent track 4 Musical Youth 007 I'm not a fan in general but this actually has quite a catchy tune and rhythm to it, and overall it isn't bad at all 4 Limahl Only For Love His 1st solo hit with his distinctive vocal style, but the song is quite lukewarm and not really exciting enough 3 Shakin' Stevens Cry Just A Little Bit His only US hit and an actual original song: the style is still rather grating but I think this is not so bad overall 3 Kiss Lick It Up Their 2nd Top 40 of the year, and a fairly standard example of its style with a big chorus that doesn't grab me 2 Status Quo A Mess Of Blues A 1960 Elvis song: I don't think this perfunctory feeling cover really achieves anything to bring it up to date 1983 Group 20: #1234 12/11/1983 Genesis That's All 16 48-28-23-23-19-{16}-18-18-27-37-67->11 #1235 19/11/1983 Thompson Twins Hold Me Now 4 31-14-5-{4}-5-6-6-8-9-12-25-30-38-57-73->15 #1236 12/11/1983 The Smiths This Charming Man 25 55-32-30-{25}-29-33-44-44-51-43-70-69->12 #1237 19/11/1983 Tina Turner Let's Stay Together 6 36-16-7-{6}-6-9-9-12-17-27-37-43-68->13 #1238 12/11/1983 Yes Owner Of A Lonely Heart 28 42-37-29-{28}-30-38-49-49-69->9 #1239 26/11/1983 Simple Minds Waterfront 13 25-{13}-17-21-31-31-34-41-55-67->10 #1240 26/11/1983 Ozzy Osbourne Bark At The Moon 21 32-24-{21}-26-38-38-49-75->8 #1241 12/11/1983 Abba Thank You For The Music 33 64-43-{33}-34-43-57->6 #1242 26/11/1983 Cliff Richard Please Don't Fall In Love 7 34-20-9-{7}-10-10-13-26-46->9 #1243 12/11/1983 Kenny Rogers And Dolly Parton Islands In The Stream 7 70-45-35-26-15-11-8-8-{7}-8-10-24-32-52-68->15 #1244 19/11/1983 Slade My Oh My 2 73-36-15-5-3-{2}-2-2-11-30-55->11 #1245 19/11/1983 Roland Rat Superstar! Rat Rapping (Brilliant Isn't It) 14 63-37-33-34-28-27-27-18-{14}-21-32-56->12 #1246 12/11/1983 Tom Robinson Listen To The Radio - Atmospherics 39 53-41-40-{39}-47-56->6 #1247 26/11/1983 The Flying Pickets Only You 1 60-9-{1}-1-1-1-1-10-25-47-70->11 #1248 03/12/1983 Tracey Ullman Move Over Darling 8 21-{8}-9-12-12-15-21-36-60->9 #1249 03/12/1983 Wham! Club Fantastic Megamix 15 30-18-{15}-21-21-25-27-71->8 #1250 26/11/1983 Howard Jones What Is Love? 2 48-31-23-14-11-11-10-{2}-3-4-16-25-44-49-63->15

15 Gary Lux - Kinder Dieser Welt (1985, 8th) The best of a mostly rather twee bunch of ‘80s entries: an earnest but very nice and well performed song 14 Marianne Mendt - Music (1971, 16th) A very powerful performance and quite unusual track that really stands out for its time 13 Paenda - Limits (2019, DNQ) I think more subtle alternative stuff like this can really struggle in the comeptition, but it has a fragile beauty to it 12 Karen Gott - Tausend Fenster (1968, 13th) If you do listen to any of the crooner entries make it this one and the one to come: this builds beautifully and doesn’t feel laboured like many early entries 11 Global.Kryner - Y Asi (2005, DNQ) A lovely and quirky jazz folk number with bits of yodelling that deserved very much more

20 Westend - Hurricane (1983, 9th) A bright, breezy and catchy number in a very early ‘80s style 19 Bobbie Singer - Reflection (1999, 10th) A very sweet and nicely performed number with a late ‘90s guitar pop feel 18 Ferry Graf - Der K. Und K. Kalypso Aus Wien (1959, 9th) I enjoy a bit of yodelling and this stands out among all the crooners in the early years 17 Alf Poier - Weil Der Mensch Zählt (2003, 6th) Vocally it’s rather unusual, but I really enjoy the goofiness of it and so did Europe clearly 16 Eric Papilaya - Get A Life - Get Alive (2007, DNQ) I can see why they rage quit for a few years after this and the previous entry didn’t qualify: this is a strong slightly rocky number

But if it’s an unfair rule it’s an unfair rule. Artists can’t save up streams and report them when it suits.

I’m not one for conspiracy or rigging theories but you have to wonder what checks there are on the self reported physical numbers. I wonder if the sales report will give some more details.

I suppose “Stupid Song” is pretty likely to be #1 either way next week but still…

“The Cure” and “Rein Me In” were close in the mids so fully expect Taylor to be top 2 now.

Ooh “Rein Me In” just needs #3 for the top 15 sweep! Oh and Taylor shenanigans etc.

Aww “Waka Waka” is such a wonderful song. Would be great if it could go top 20.

“Don’t Wanna Go Home” would probably be second last ahead of the finalists for me - just terrible all round. (I don’t like “Best Thing I Never Had” either and the lyrics are so clumsy, but “Bounce” is good.) “Cannonball” is pretty poor - very laboured compared to the understated original. As I said before the “When We Collide” cover is one of the more tolerable.

Went for Abs - it’s not that bad though.

And the post 2000 reviews: Year Artist Song Language Final Points Semi Points Notes 2000 The Rounder Girls "All to You" English 14 34 No semi-finals A slightly Motown style number that doesn't really pop 2002 Manuel Ortega "Say a Word" English 18 26 This reminds me of D:Ream with its upbeat style, but it's nothing special 2003 Alf Poier "Weil der Mensch zählt" German 6 101 Top 20 2004 Tie Break "Du bist" German 21 9 Top 11 in 2003 contest A slushy Boys II Men style group effort that's very uninspiring 2005 Global.Kryner "Y así" English, Spanish Failed to qualify 21 30 Top 20 2007 Eric Papilaya "Get a Life – Get Alive" English 27 4 Top 20 2011 Nadine Beiler "The Secret Is Love" English 18 64 7 69 This is a well performed power ballad, but the lyrics are quite clichéd 2012 Trackshittaz "Woki mit deim Popo" German Failed to qualify 18 8 Top 20 2013 Natália Kelly "Shine" English 14 27 It's a sweet song competently done, but all in all it's boring 2014 Conchita Wurst "Rise Like a Phoenix" English 1 290 1 169 Top 20 2015 The Makemakes "I Am Yours" English 26 0 Host country Nil points as the hosts is quite something: there is a charm to it but it plods 2016 Zoë "Loin d'ici" French 13 151 7 170 Top 20 2017 Nathan Trent "Running on Air" English 16 93 7 147 Quite a nice soft indie style number, but it's all rather vanilla 2018 Cesár Sampson "Nobody but You" English 3 342 4 231 Top 20 2019 Paenda "Limits" English Failed to qualify 17 21 Top 20 2020 Vincent Bueno "Alive" English Contest cancelled This sounds like bog standard late '10s radio friendly pop 2021 Vincent Bueno "Amen" English Failed to qualify 12 66 I prefer this of Vincent's songs and it's well performed, but the song still isn't anything special 2022 Lumix feat. Pia Maria "Halo" English 15 42 A rather soulless dance pop track that unfortunately deserved its fate 2023 Teya and Salena "Who the Hell Is Edgar?" English 15 120 2 137 Top 20 2024 Kaleen "We Will Rave" English 24 24 9 46 A better dance track than "Halo" with nods to techno, though still quite ordinary 2025 JJ "Wasted Love" English 1 436 5 104 Top 20 2026 Cosmó "Tanzschein" German 24 6 Host country This actually came very close: I enjoy the rhythm and think it's underrated but it didn't pop on stage

Not soon but eventually

I’m including 10 pre 2000 and 10 post 2000 in my top 20 ranking. I may not always do it as an even split like that but it felt about right this time, highlighting the best of each period. My pre 2000 reviews: Year Artist Song Language Final Points Semi Points Notes 1957 Bob Martin "Wohin, kleines Pony?" German 10 3 No semi-finals First of their many last places: it's pleasant but not memorable 1958 Liane Augustin "Die ganze Welt braucht Liebe" German 5 8 A slow paced and not very striking, typical '50s style ballad 1959 Ferry Graf "Der K. und K. Kalypso aus Wien" German 9 4 Top 20 1960 Harry Winter "Du hast mich so fasziniert" German 7 6 Another old fashioned reomantic ballad that's nicely performed but it drags 1961 Jimmy Makulis "Sehnsucht" German 15 1 Another crooner ballad and another last place: totally unremarkable 1962 Eleonore Schwarz "Nur in der Wiener Luft" German 13 0 Quite an operatic vocal - impressive singing but not really my thing and a nil points last place 1963 Carmela Corren "Vielleicht geschieht ein Wunder" German, English 7 16 This came much closer - a more engaging ballad with nice orchestration and lovely vocal tone 1964 Udo Jürgens "Warum nur, warum?" German 6 11 1st of his 3 successive entries - all sincere ballads with piano and orchestra and this is very nice 1965 Udo Jürgens "Sag ihr, ich lass sie grüßen" German 4 16 Similar style to "Warum…" but I find this doesn't hit as hard: however he saved the best for next year 1966 Udo Jürgens "Merci, Chérie" German 1 31 Top 20 1967 Peter Horten "Warum es hunderttausend Sterne gibt" German 14 2 A commanding performance, but still very much a standard post war style ballad 1968 Karel Gott "Tausend Fenster" German 13 2 Top 20 1971 Marianne Mendt "Musik" German 16 66 Top 20 1972 The Milestones "Falter im Wind" German 5 100 Top 20 1976 Waterloo and Robinson "My Little World" English 5 80 Very shlager in style, and it's happy and catchy but very twee and with no depth 1977 Schmetterlinge "Boom Boom Boomerang" German, English 17 11 Similarly this is very much in the light entertainment arena and not for me 1978 Springtime "Mrs. Caroline Robinson" German 15 14 Another catchy but rather naff song that grates fairly quickly 1979 Christina Simon "Heute in Jerusalem" German 18 5 A more earnest and slightly jazzy number but a last place: I find the sax and vocal part clash slightly 1980 Blue Danube "Du bist Musik" German 8 64 This is quite a charming number about the power of music and better than the last few 1981 Marty Brem "Wenn du da bist" German 17 20 Quite a strangely presented and not very tuneful duet 1982 Mess "Sonntag" German 9 57 A much better duet: this is very catchy but back in the twee Shlager zone 1983 Westend "Hurricane" German 9 53 Top 20 1984 Anita "Einfach weg" German 19 5 Last place for this feels harsh as it's competent but an underwhelming '80s pop number 1985 Gary Lux "Kinder dieser Welt" German 8 60 Top 20 1986 Timna Brauer "Die Zeit ist einsam" German 18 12 A straightforward and well performed but unremarkable ballad 1987 Gary Lux "Nur noch Gefühl" German 20 8 His 2nd and less good appearance with another unexciting and of its time romantic ballad 1988 Wilfried "Lisa Mona Lisa" German 21 0 A rather repetitive and limp song that understandably received nil points 1989 Thomas Forstner "Nur ein Lied" German 5 97 1st of his 2 appearances with a rather clunky power ballad, though it somehow managed 5th place 1990 Simone "Keine Mauern mehr" German 10 58 Top 20 1991 Thomas Forstner "Venedig im Regen" German 22 0 He's back and this is considerably more dreary than his 1989 effort - a nil pointer 1992 Tony Wegas "Zusammen geh'n" German 10 63 1st of his back to back: an accomplished performance but another flaccid emotive ballad 1993 Tony Wegas "Maria Magdalena" German 14 32 A more upbeat number than the previous year's: it's not bad 1994 Petra Frey "Für den Frieden der Welt" German 17 19 Quite an anthemic number about world peace: it's good but very in its lane 1995 Stella Jones "Die Welt dreht sich verkehrt" German 13 67 A soulful, jazz infused number that doesn't really stand out 1996 George Nussbaumer "Weil's dr guat got" German 10 68 6 80 Top 20 1997 Bettina Soriat "One Step" German 21 12 No semi-finals Another number with a jazzy feel that's nice but not memorable 1999 Bobbie Singer "Reflection" English 10 65 Top 20

There may be a kernel of good intentions behind this, though it sits uneasily with my libertarian leanings in the first place. But I have absolutely no doubt that it will be terribly executed. It’s going to be a selective rather than a total ban in the first place, leaving the way open for both current and future governments to interfere in what’s deemed a good platform and what isn’t. It’s clearly going to lead to more monitoring of the internet activity of adults. Awful.

Michael Jackson - Thriller The Smiths - This Charming Man Yes - Owner Of A Lonely Heart Culture Club - Victims The Pretenders - 2000 Miles

Country 5: Austria Deep breath… OK this is the 1st of the big countries where the task I’ve set myself is rather large and involves sifting through some very old stuff. I’m finding quite a bit of the older stuff doesn’t leave that much impression so only a select few will make my ranking. Austria have competed 58 times, 59 including 2020. They started in 1957 so that actually means they’ve missed quite a few years. In 1969 they boycotted the contest hosted in Spain due to Franco’s rule. In 1970 they skipped, not liking the 4 way tied win result in 1969 apparently. In 1973 to 1975 they were absent for unclear reasons possibly related to the scoring system. They were relegated in 1998 and 2001 due to poor results in the brief period when that was how they dealt with the contest being oversubscribed. And in 2006 and 2008 to 2010 they didn’t enter due to being disgruntled following poor performances and feelings that the contest favoured certain countries due to block voting. Having listened to all the entries, there’s a huge range of good and bad and different styles from Austria so I don’t think there’s an Austrian style as such. Last century they did have a lot of bad fortune with a record 7 last places and only 1 victory. However this century they haven’t struggled to the extent of many of the Big 5 countries with 2 victories and a real mixture of styles.

I do quite like “Don’t Go” - especially the “yeah-yeah-yeah” riff and baseline. Definitely the weakest of that week’s top 3 though. “She Makes Me Wanna” is meh but at least catchy - still their 2nd best of a weak bunch of chart toppers I’d say. “Chase The Sun” is up with the best download era boyband singles for sure though I actually enjoy “All Time Low” more.

Yes “Silver Springs” is doing about 8k per week, just a little less than it would need to hold its position.

The top 3 are all pretty frequently heard today. “The Safety Dance” is so much fun but it’s the unique storytelling of “The Love Catsl” that gets my top billing. 9 The Cure The Love Cats A non album single: this is a quirky and poetic song full of slightly dark and mysterious romantic character 9 Men Without Hats The Safety Dance Only hit for this Canadian band written after a member was ejected from a club for moshing: a fabulous track 8 Billy Joel Uptown Girl 528th #1: it doesn't have the emotional depth of some of his work but it's brilliantly written exuberant pop 7 King Kurt Destination Zululand Only Top 40 for this UK band though they will have many follow ups: a rousing, quirky and irreverent rock song 7 Elton John Kiss The Bride The 1st 2 singles from "Too Low For Zero" were career highlights: this 3rd one isn't that level but a strong track 6 Olympic Orchestra Reilly The theme to this TV drama from "The Gadfly" by Shostakovich: a lovely piece that works quite well on its own 6 Adam Ant Puss 'N' Boots His 10th and final Top 10 appearance with the lead from his 2nd album: it's quite repetitive but still enjoyable 6 Duran Duran Union Of The Snake The lead from their 3rd album which reached #3 but there's an even bigger hit to come: I find this only decent 5 Gary Numan Sister Surprise One of his weaker singles to date, still with his striking vocal delivery but not such a dramatic instrumental 5 Donna Summer Unconditional Love This features uncredited vocals from Musical Youth, and it's sugary sweet but somehow works quite well 4 Roman Holliday Motormania Their 2nd and last hit with an energetic rockabilly throwback; it's quite nicely done but not at all remarkable 4 Level 42 Micro-Kid It's about the craze for home computers: quite an interesting lyrical theme but a fairly beige jazz funk track 3 Shalamar Over And Over They will have 5 more hits but all will miss the Top 40, and this is a not really an exciting final appearance 3 Sharon Redd Love How You Feel Her last solo hit, and it's not bad as such but like the others I don't find that it's memorable or distinctive 2 UB40 Please Don't Make Me Cry A cover of a song by Jamaican reggae musician Winston Groovy: the original is vibrant while this isn't at all 1983 Group 19: 1217 05/11/1983 Shakin' Stevens Cry Just A Little Bit 3 19-4-{3}-3-8-13-17-24-24-22-29-48->12 #1218 05/11/1983 Madness The Sun And The Rain 5 21-9-{5}-7-17-27-36-50-50-53->10 #1219 05/11/1983 Status Quo A Mess Of Blues 15 24-{15}-20-24-41-65->6 #1220 05/11/1983 ABC That Was Then But This Is Now 18 25-{18}-22-44->4 #1221 05/11/1983 The Police Synchronicity II 17 26-{17}-25-45->4 #1222 22/10/1983 Musical Youth 007 26 69-41-32-{26}-30-46->6 #1223 29/10/1983 Kiss Lick It Up 31 48-33-{31}-47-71->5 #1224 05/11/1983 Limahl Only For Love 16 34-20-{16}-17-27-42-64-75R(3)->8 #1225 29/10/1983 AC/DC Guns For Hire 37 73-{37}-38-61->4 #1226 12/11/1983 The Rolling Stones Undercover Of The Night 11 21-{11}-13-19-32-47-60-60-68->9 #1227 05/11/1983 Eurythmics Right By Your Side 10 45-27-23-15-{10}-14-19-28-28-31-42->11 29/10/1983 Joy Division Love Will Tear Us Apart {1983} 19 71-42-30-{19}-21-35-56->7 #1228 05/11/1983 Marilyn Calling Your Name 4 47-32-21-9-{4}-7-13-23-23-24-31-52->12 #1229 05/11/1983 Aztec Camera Oblivious {1983 Re-Release} 18 61-35-29-20-{18}-20-27-40-40-48-54->11 #1230 12/11/1983 The Assembly Never Never 4 36-10-{4}-6-10-22-30-30-42-58->10 #1231 19/11/1983 The Style Council A Solid Bond In Your Heart 11 12-{11}-12-25-39-56-56-73->8 #1232 19/11/1983 Paul Young Love Of The Common People 2 17-5-{2}-2-2-4-4-3-5-14-28-48-60->13 #1233 19/11/1983 Michael Jackson Thriller 10 24-{10}-11-16-12-13-13-11-12-18-27-37-44-52-60-70-74-75->18

Gareth. Hands off Snoop please.