Chez VampireBat

15. McFly - All About You / You've Got a Friend #1 for 1 week W/E 19th March #6 in EOY A Comic Relief double x McFly were in the prime of their career at this point and the Comic Relief telethon was still event viewing, so it made sense to make them the ambassadors for the official comic relief single, and indeed it's their biggest selling single and one of the only ones to have a stable chart run. A double a-side of an original and a cover of a classic song. All About You was written by Tom Fletcher for his then-girlfriend and now wife as a valentine gift, and with BBC backing, it felt like their biggest release yet, with a string choir and star-studded, comedic video accompanying it. If Amarillo was the more names of the past, then this video is more of a who's who of more current entertainment names of the time, including Fearne Cotton, Graham Norton, Johnny Vegas and many more. Harry Hill also plays a security guard who refuses to let Harry Judd in to the recording studio as he's a Busted fan which still raises a smile. It was released as a double a-side with their cover of Carole King's You've Got a Friend, originally recorded in 1971 as part of her Tapestry album, it was best known when a version by James Taylor was released as a single and reached number 4 here, another version was recorded by the Brand New Heavies which charted at number 9 in 1997, but it wasn't until this version where it did what James Taylor's version did in the US and topped the charts. I always quite liked McFly, I wasn't old enough to be cynical of them and wasn't really the target audience that was head over heels for them, but they made quite likeable pop rock songs. All About You was another one weirdly enough that was resurrected in the 2020 pandemic, I guess as people were looking at older songs for comfort, with a new recorded video featuring McFly at home with their family members, and Danny with his chickens x Still it was nice hearing it and I actually think it holds up very well today, it's just hard to really fault it's sincerity and it never quite slips into sickliness, and the orchestral backing and building tempo really give it some life so that it doesn't stay the same throughout, it's still a lovely listen. It would be a bit higher but I have to judge both songs - I didn't hear You've Got a Friend much at the time as it got far less airplay and only vaguely recall it from the Now album, it's a pleasant cover that doesn't stray too far from King's original and never really lifts off enough to be anything other than passable, it was an appropriate song to include at the time, but I can't see a reason to seek it out these days. The video is also one that hasn't aged well for different reasons to those discussed above - in contrast to the comedic video to All About You, this video sees the boys going to Uganda to help out, performing for the impoverished children there and having them sing the chorus at the end. It was the sort of well-meaning VTs that were all over the Comic Relief telethons and nowadays, poverty porn is somewhat appropriate as it reinforces steretypes of Africa being helpless without the west and the white saviour syndrome, as well as some questions in this more interconnected age of just what is being done with all this money raised by governments and why communities never see any improvement. It's uncomfortable viewing these days and especially so for me as I was really worried at looking like this when I did volunteering abroad in an impoverished school in South Africa and it made me tentative about doing it again, but like Amarillo, it's hard to hold it against the singers themselves who were only doing what they were told. Still, it's pretty dull even without that and I'll go on record to say my favourite version of this song is genuinely from the AA advert, they give it a much needed dramatic, rousing feel, a banger x https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLl67lt1yZY

16. Tony Christie feat. Peter Kay - (Is This The Way to) Amarillo #1 for 7 weeks W/E 26th March- W/E 7th May #1 in EOY There was certainly something in the air with regards to retro songs in early 2005 for sure. ...Amarillo was originally a minor top 20 hit in 1971 for Tony Christie, despite the Texas city it was named after, it didn't make particularly big waves in the States and was more popular in Europe, becoming a number 1 hit in Germany and Spain. He had bigger hits in the UK so one could probably not have predicted that this would be the first song people associate with him nowadays, but the song was resurrected when it was used in the Peter Kay comedy Phoenix Nights, while I never watched this, I do definitely remember him being a big name at the time and so he was perhaps the most appropriate one to turn this into something of a phenomen. Comic Relief singles had existed for a while now, and while the official one was still released the yeat (more on that later), for the first time in 2005, they released an unofficial single with more of a comic feel than the standard charity ballad/cover usually influenced by a popular comedy at the time, in this case, on the back of it's recent exposure in Kay's series, they re-released Christie's song with the added addition of a video which features Kay miming the song while doing a jolly jog towards the camera with various green-screen backgrounds and accompanied by various light entertainment celebrities walking with him, while various stars from Phoenix Nights made cameos, there was soap stars, comedians, singers and children's entertainers and their puppets AKA a host full of 'national treasures;, it was a very retro and kitschy vibe to it that parents and grandparents could recognise and their children could enjoy the whimsy and colour of it all. It's easy to see why it was one of the last big hits of the physical era in a year like 2005, released the week after the official Comic Relief single, it stayed at the top for 7 weeks and was the only song to pass a million sales within the year. Amarillo's legacy would continue over Comic Relief and the next few additions had the release pattern of an 'official' release from a current pop group and unofficial release mainly based around a comedy show featuring comedians, it would go on until 2011 where the gradual digitalisation of both music and 'event' television caught up with it, where they stuck with an official release played as a more straight pop song for the next few additions until 2019 where they pretty much became non-existent reflecting the public's fading interest in the telethons. Peter Kay has an official credit, but doesn't sing on the record at all, it is a straight re-release of Christie's song from 1971 with just an added new video, but tbf, that was certainly what people were buying it for which he did have some part in. It remained a charming if kitsch little watch until many years later when a certain national treasure featured turned out to be one of the biggest and prolific child sex offenders and predators who ever lived, and while his crimes weren't common knowledge in 2005, allegations and general vibes were shifting that way which those giving him power chose to look away and defend him. Even though Jimmy Saville only features in it for less than thirty seconds, it's still noticeable and the video has since been re-edited. The version linked above is the most recent 2020 version uploaded to Kay's main channel (though you can find the original on YouTube if you so wish, frustratingly it's probably the better one musically as this one cuts the intro and part of the second chorus so it doesn't flow as well). Still the video has withstanded it somewhat, it even resurrected Tony Christie's career briefly when an England World Cup version was released next year and was popular amongst key workers during the pandemic for whatever reason, so much so that it was resurrected as part of BBC's Big Night In with a new video featuring clips of key workers doing the classic walk along with original clips. So all that said, it's a little hard to rank this personally. I have some good memories of seeing this as part of the Comic Relief telethon and at the time, thought it was quite genius even if I didn't watch Phoenix Nights, and I'd be lying if I said I still don't find it quite charming if we ignore the obvious, Sooty and Sweep, Keith and Orville and Ronnie Corbett and Mr Blobby's fall are still funny even if it does read like a who's who of the most inoffensive light entertainment you can get. It was a fun, cheesy big band number and though it's not as charming without the video, it kinda has the same appeal - dated but still charming. Even with Saville tainting the video though, it's still undeniably a dated big band 70s song and it's not really something I'd unironically come back to, but like a lot of these, it does have that nostalgia attached that I can rank it higher that some others so far. I've not much else to say so we'll just end this sparing a thought for Sally Lindsay who featured alongside Saville in the video, as if St. Winifreds wasn't bad enough...

17. Elvis Presley - One Night/I Got Stung #1 for 1 week W/E 15th January #151 in EOY With a well timed campaign and just a bit of corporate cynicism as detailed in the last post, Elvis achieved the 1000th number 1. This was the 3rd song released in the campaign and if not for Ciara briefly breaking the gap, would've been the third in a run of four straight number 1s, succeeded a week after by It's Now or Never. One lovely bit of chart symmetry is it was the fourth double a-side to hit number 1 and was also the fourth last, and the last by an artist that wasn't McFly. One Night was originally recorded by Smiley Lewis two years earlier, it was seen as a bit racy at the time and Elvis' managers were reluctant to approach it due to the racy lyrics referring to 'One Night of Sin is what we're paying for', positively scandalous I tell thee x Elvis found a way around it though by changing the lyric to 'One Night with you is what I'm praying for' to give it a little more subtlety to its urges, it has since been covered by artists. I Got Stung is an original song and the more lesser known of the two. Clocking in at under two minutes, it's one of the shortest songs to reach number 1. It was also the last song Elvis recorded in the 50s prior to his military service. I didn't actually hear these until recently with the Synctube sessions - One Night is pretty typical of the Bluesy rock and roll sound he had found his niche in, with its pounding guitar in the intro slowing down with his raspy, soulful voice, it's hard not to appreciate the raw talent here with just his voice and a few instruments making the song come alive, but ultimately it's one of many slower 50s songs that just aren't really for me, it's too slow and doesn't have enough variation to interest me and though I definitely appreciate his vocals, it's on the more grating side here and perhaps takes over a bit too much of the track for me to get into it, I Got Stung on the other hand is a much more upbeat, bouncy little rock and roll jam, which I imagine would've sounded quite fun on the dancefloor at the time x With goofy repeated lyrics and a few 'uh huhs' thrown in, he's having a great time and its hard not to feel that with him and it definitely doesn't outstay it's welcome, it's pretty much everything Elvis did well and think it deserves to be much better known than it is. It's something of a last hurrah as well in context he really descended into autopilot mode with his movie career. An evenly balanced A-Side overall so middle of the three Elvis entries I think works out fine x

Oh wow, absolutely love a final twist, that was amazing. Alan has made some terrible mistakes so far, but that last shot at Joe was a masterstroke, and what poor judgement from Joe there switching at the last minute, though I did see it coming as he was just a bit too trusting in Nick. Really pleased for Alan, such a wholesome person and the loyalty to Cat until the end was really nice.

(I should add that however much of a soft spot I have for it, Lonely beating Feel Good Inc. to number 1 is one of the biggest chart injustices ever x)

I mean it looks very nice and all, but I can't really not see this as a little awkward, especially so with the legal cases ongoing, the news of reshoots, pushback and the criticism from his own daughter. I can't see how they can honestly tell an effective story here when there was so much about him we'll likely never know and they legally cannot show as the Jackson Estate's involved. I'm sure it will be big and the discourse will keep it going for months, but I'm not really that interested. But honestly my main reason for that isn't even the subject (art from artist etc.) it's more that I'm sure it will be the Bohemian Rhapsody style typical, generic, crowd friendly music biopic which I just find so predictable and unexciting.

18. Akon - Lonely #1 for 2 weeks W/E 7th May-W/E 14th May #7 in EOY Here we are with the first number 1 for Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam...or just Akon x He arrived with two rather distinct breakout hits - two months before (a whole year after it's initial release in the States), Locked Up was his debut, marketed as a 'street record' and intended to build credibility , with some hard-hitting lyrics about the ongoing incarceration of young black people (apparently inspired by his own experience, but this was never proven), it peaked at number 5 here and the next step is to really break him commercially which is where Lonely comes in, a far more conventional love song taking a sample of Bobby Vinton's 1964 hit Mr Lonely and pitching it up to give it that Chipmunk Soul label that was popular for a while. This also made it fit in quite well with the growing ringtone landscape (more on that later x). Cynical strategy, but it worked perfectly, Lonely got to number 1 in nine countries and would pave the way for him to become one of the biggest hit makers of the next few years, getting several hits for the next four years. He would have a few hits through features in the early 2010s, but otherwise went almost completely quiet musically, focusing on philathropic works like Akon Lighting Africa, with many attempted comebacks after which did nothing and/or were postponed. His most prolific project post 2010 would be Akon City, a now abandoned crypto based project which...I don't have time to go into right now, but do look it up if you're not aware, it's a ride x I know a lot would rank this lower and I do get why this would be supremely irritating, but it is one I have a lot of nostalgia for. Helped by being on Now 61 which I spammed repeatedly that year, I can't count how many times I heard this on TV, radio, ringtones and watching amateur online parody videos and songs (the one that sticks in my mind is this random Indian parody replacing Lonely with Curry, which I found quite funny at the time and realise is so blatantly racist now, sorry, cancel me etc. x). I'll always look back on it fondly, but likewise with JCB, it's definitely not something I'd seek out much these days, but I'd still take this over most of his discography, which is all very throwaway and rancid lyrically as well as his voice really grating on me. I think he actually sounds alright here, quite soulful and restrained and I do like the idea of the song as an modern duet with a 50s ballad, I think it could've really worked if not for the Chipmunk sound effect, I don't mind it and does make it sound fairly unique as a ballad, and again as a pre-teen hearing a high-pitched voice like that was the sort of thing that humoured me, but it definitely ruins any kind of emotional connection he was going for and gives it more of a novelty feel that it probably didn't intend for (similar thing with Ironik's Stay With Me a few years later, which had a much darker subject matter). I completely get why this one is so maligned, but it's one of those classic time capsules that defines the year, so I can't hold a lot of resentment.

19. Oasis - Lyla #1 for 1 week W/E 28th May #31 in EOY Almost ten years on from their and Britpop's stratospheric peak, it's safe to say the Oasis juggernaut was certainly not quite what it was, off the back of a frostily received Glastonbury performance, this would be, to date at least, the year where they got their final number 1s before their initial split in 2009, though they didn't pick a bad end as it was the first where they had more than one in a calendar year. Lyla was the lead single from Don't Believe the Truth, their sixth album and first to not feature Alan White, their long time drummer after he left the band (possibly though not entirely related to a brutal brawl he got in with Liam which landed them both in prison and needing medical care), though the album was seen as a return to form after their last two efforts. The song itself duly became their seventh number 1, though Noel has never been particularly complimentary of it (and the choice of it as a lead fuelled tensions between the band and record label and led to them not renewing their contract initially) calling it 'not even the fifth best track on the album', 'specifically designed for pogoing' and 'poppiest thing since Roll With It', he has come round to it through when performing it live, though it still did not feature in their recent reunion tour. It's weird ranking a song from one of my favourite bands so low, but I don't think it's controversial to see Oasis released some really pedestrian work in the 2000s, and this was one of those. Saying that, I'd definitely take it over the Hindu Times and Go Let It Out. it's got all the classic big guitars, the 'far and neeeyaaaarrr' line from Liam is fine and the chorus is cool singalong stuff, but it does just feel like Oasis on autopilot like many songs of this era, there's just nothing here that they haven't already done better in the last ten years and it just sounds so blatantly like they were running out of ideas. It's decent, but nowhere near top of the list of songs I go back to, Thankfully have more positive things to say about their other one here x

20. Nizlopi - JCB Song #1 for 1 week W/E 24th December #12 in EOY Now this really did come out of the blue. Nizlopi were a duo formed in Leamington Spa made up of vocalist Luke Colcannon and guitarist John Parker (the name based apparently on a Hungarian girl in member Luke's school he used to like), Luke Colcannon wrote this song at his parents' house based on a real life memory of when his father picked him up from school in a JCB Digger, and how this made him feel strong when he was bullied due to his dyslexia. Clearly being a bit of a hero for him, a plethora of imagery is likened to him like Bruce Lee and B.A Baracus and transforming into a Tyrannosaurus Rex. The duo being completely unknown at first, the song could only manage as high as number 160 when originally released in June. They didn't stop there though and the rising superpower that was the internet and online marketing worked it's magic on them, and they started to develop a cult following amongst their online fanbases and promoted the song heavily across radios, receiving particular airplay from Dermot O'Leary's Radio 2 show at the time, and eventually Animation studio, MonkeeHub, caught wind of it and released a rather lovely hand drawn animated video, which began to bring further attention to the song and made further buzz online being frequently shared via email (YouTube was born this year, though it's realisation wasn't quite there yet), even playing on ad breaks between TV shows and music channels. It was re-released in December and topped the charts, beating Westlife in the process, and was looking on course to be Christmas number 1, however even with two days advantage in sales, it couldn't compete the other rising superpower of X Factor. True one hit wonders in every sense, they only had one further song even making the top 100 (with another animated video which didn't quite have the same impact) and though they did release another album, they split in 2010, reuniting on and off until 2020, with Luke now working as a travel writer and John a freelance session double bassist. Their most interesting future link was that a then unknown Ed Sheeran was a guitar technician at their earlier gigs, and was influenced by their sound. I have so much nostalgia for this one, I remember first seeing the video on an ad break on Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon or something and I was a bit mystified, but I did find it quite charming and I honestly still do. I always love hand drawn animation and it really captures the childhood whimsy of the song perfectly, purely as an animated video with a song attached, I think it still works really well, but without that video as a song? Hmmm, well I like that they added a garage rap to the end to diversify it at least, but this is another one of those acoustic, emotional singer-songwriter type songs, and there's no subtext here, this has just about as just about the most cloying and cheesy lyrics you could get, and WOW they are bad...'the engine rattles my bum like beserk', 'me and my dad havin' a top larrrf' 'My dad's B.A. Barakas only with a JCB and Bruce Lee's nun chuckas'. I was just about the right age to get the nice childhood sentimentality of the lyrics and it certainly works well for a younger audience, but nowadays, it's quite hard not to cringe. I can't bring myself to dislike it, it's the right sentiment and worked in that moment as something completely genuine that made everyone feel a bit more warm inside, just don't think about it too much as a song x

21. McFly - I'll Be OK #1 for 1 week W/E 27th August #52 in EOY Coincidentally, You're Beautiful is beaten by the song that finally knocked it off. This is the first of two number 1s to feature here for McFly, who were in the prime of their career at this point, with their fourth overall just a year after debuting. It is probably safe to describe this as a 'non-number 1', given it's plummet to 8th place the next week and exiting the top 40 a month after debuting, indeed the second week drops became a bit of a McFly quirk. Starting life as two songs where the best parts were put into one, the song was selected to give listeners a positive, encouraging message, the intro is similar to that of The Who's Won't Get Fooled Again, a named influence of the group and the single coincidentally contains a B-side of their cover of Pinball Wizard. As you can tell by my tangents, I don't have a lot to say about this one. I do enjoy McFly though and 5 Colours in Her Hair and Obviously were both solid jams, I wasn't 'indie' enough at the time to find them uncool and wasn't quite the right audience to be absolutely head over heels for them, but their songs were enjoyable and I do find some things I quite liked about this - the guitar intro is great, the false ending and harmonising work well and they are clearly in their element, but asides, there's nothing here that you haven't already heard from them, it's also a little faceless and watered down lyrically and lacking the character and personality of some of their better songs. It just elicits no strong reactions and while I can't say anything bad about it, I have no reason to come back to it either, so just before the top 20 feels about right for it. TL;DR drumroll It's OK x

Ooh I know some of these x Weird to think of Jump In The Pool as not being Friendly Fires' main hit, but that's how it goes! (Had to look it up to remind myself of what their 'hit' was).

22. James Blunt - You're Beautiful #1 for 5 weeks W/E 23rd July-W/E 20th August #4 in EOY Before he became the king of self-deprecation, Blunt had a fairly unique past. Far from starting from nothing or gigging at pubs, Blunt, born into a family with a long history of military service, served as a captain of the British Army. His most notable involvement being in the Russian occupation of Pristina Airport in the aftermath of the Kosovo War in 1999 which had it gone differently, could well have started World War III. The Russian Army had occupied the airport ahead of a planned NATO deployment, after some delay, NATO commander at the time, Wesley Clark ordered British troops to block the airport and attack. Allegedly being questioned by Blunt, his commander, Mike Jackson refused the order. The situation was eventually resolved peacefully before escalation. It’s not known exactly how much Blunt was involved in the decision, although he has said he would’ve also refused had Jackson obeyed (credit to CocoMango at RateYourMusic as well as wiki for that factoid x). Probably yearning for something a bit more peaceful, Blunt left the army in 2002 after six years serving in the force to focus on his music career. While he was posted in Kosovo, he took his guitar to hang on the tanks and would write many songs as well as perform for the troops. He was signed by EMI and gradually, adopting that acoustic David Gray/Damien Rice-esque sound that was (and continues to be I guess) quite in vogue, You’re Beautiful was eaten up by commercial radio and stayed at number 1 for five weeks all throughout the summer and enchanting (I guess?) and repulsing everyone in the process. It got to number 1 in nine countries, including the United States, a rarity for that genre. He would never have a hit of this magnitude again but had a fairly solid career over the next decade and is still releasing albums as of 2023, as well as spending his time in Ibiza and the Swiss Alps, nice x Blunt knows exactly how people feel about this song and pretty much shares the feeling and is very open to mocking himself on Twitter (but I’m sure he appreciates it ensuring his bills are paid for his life x). He has always been surprised by the song’s success and features in weddings and easy listening as it probably wasn’t written with that in mind. Allegedly about an ex, the song is certainly deceptive in its appearance, sounding like the most MOR thing to have ever MOR’d, it’s actually a rather creepy story of an unreliable narrator seemingly unable to live with himself after seeing his previous lover with someone else, ‘’I’ve got a plan’ and 'I'll never be with you' are sung charmingly but read very differently when taken in context of someone totally hopeless, and especially when taken in tandem with the calm yet sinister video which culminates with Blunt jumping off a cliff in the snowy mountains. There are a few other quirks to the song – the false start which was a genuine mistake and left in the final track and the rather stunningly out of the blue swearing on the line ‘She could see from my face I was f***ing high’ (changed to ‘Flying high’ for the radio edit), I was shocked when I first heard this but does make sense and add to the creepy feel of the whole song. Overall, certainly a song I can appreciate more now it’s not omnipresent and I liked it a lot more than I did at the time, but I still can’t call it good. It's clever lyrically but also smarmy, and taken just musically, the chorus is supremely irritating and it’s just dull acoustic radio fodder and while Blunt certainly wasn’t the first to try this, the British public’s love of these emotional male singer-songwriter acoustic songs would only continue over the next decade and I just find this type of sappy, unadventurous music so difficult to enjoy. I enjoyed a few more of his songs more, justice for Carry You Home and Stay the Night x

Indeed, the reason I decided not to do an extra rank of the number 2s of this year is that so many of them were Elvis reissues I barely remembered 😅I wouldn't say anything truly worthy missed number 1, however cynical an exercise it was, I'd have been wary to see the sales if they didn't. Anyway, here's a non-Elvis track...

30; Lankum - Go Dig My Grave 29; Mitski - My Love Mine All Mine 28; Nabihah Iqbal - This World Couldn't See Us 27; Billie Eilish - What Was I Made For? 26; Daughter - Be On Your Way 25; Fat Dog - King of the Slugs 24; Romy - Loveher 23; Lana Del Rey - A&W 22; Peggy Gou - (It Goes Like) Nanana 21; Olivia Rodrigo - Vampire 20; Heartworms - Retributions of an Awful Life 19; Olivia Rodrigo - Bad Idea Right? 18; Last Dinner Party - Nothing Matters 17; Nothing But Thieves - Welcome to the DCC 16; Dua Lipa - Dance The Night 15; Olivia Rodrigo - Get Him Back! 14; Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding - Miracle 13; Doja Cat - Paint The Town Red 12; Beatles - Now And Then 11; Adrianne Lenker - Ruined 10; Chappell Roan - Hot To Go! 09; Kenya Grace - Strangers 08; Beyoncé (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - America Has A Problem 07; PinkPantheress - Boy's a Liar 06; Fifty Fifty - Cupid 05; George Clanton - I Been Young 04; Kylie Minogue - Padam Padam 03; Alessandra - Queen of Kings 02; Snow Strippers - Under Your Spell 01; Zach Bryan & Kacey Musgraves - I Remember Everything

The Human League - Love Action (I Believe In Love) Siouxsie And The Banshees - Arabian Knights U2 - Fire Soft Cell - Tainted Love Ultravox - The Thin Wall Rolling Stones and OMD just outside. Mainly songs I didn't know today so most of these are discoveries (or just did enough to stand out amongst the many naff medleys x)

Yeah I know I'm being a bit cheap here, but I am sticking to my self-imposed rule with recycles that it does sound significantly different from their last entry 😎I will say the vocals on the chorus are a little quiet so you may need to turn your headphones up when you listen x Sending some hype to Deandria from the other semi, I've heard that on 6Music and have actually considered sending it somewhere here, it's a really quirky, mysterious song, hope it can get through without my help x

(The next Elvis posts won't be as long as that, just wanted to set the context and give my thoughts on the exercise as a whole x)

23. Elvis Presley - It's Now or Never #1 for 1 week W/E 5th February #152 in EOY (if anyone knows where this or any of the Elvis reissues are in the EOY for the year, I'd be grateful x) So the Elvis reissues were always going to be difficult to rank when I picked this year, there were many angles I could go down - I could not include them at all as they weren't 2005 songs, I could rank them all at the bottom and play the 'Elvis is overrated angle' or I could just put them all in one place in the middle, however they were number 1 hits just as much as other songs here and as I'll cover below, it's not like the circumstances of them being there are particularly unique looking at recent chart history. And while I wouldn't call myself a superfan (the songs in his post-military career were pretty bad and a lot of what he was delivering was certainly not entirely original and more palatable for the audience coming from a white man) he was an icon for a reason as his voice, music and performing ability has been near unmatched in decades since and I genuinely really enjoy a few of his songs, so I will give them an honest assessment alongside the number 1 hits this year. I'm not going to go into the background of Elvis himself as you've got many literature and films that go into that, but it is worth discussing in this post his presence in 2005. 2005 would've been Elvis' 70th birthday and EMI marked the occasion by re-releasing all 18 of his number 1 singles, while this wasn't the first time this happened, the Beatles' label did a similar exercise in the 80s, the scale and publicity for this campaign was far wider than anything that had been before. It wasn't lost to the estate that the 1000th number 1 was coming up and this specifically tied in with that, and they achieved it, as well as the 999th and 1002nd (which this one was), in the process, it also got his total number 1 figure up to 21, a good few singles clear of nearest competitors, the Beatles (even though not counting repeats, kinda as it should be, they would now be tied). The sales were very low and at a time when physical sales were really drying up, and it certainly reads more than a little cynical so I can certainly see why some view this as quite a nadir for the singles chart. From an outsiders perspective to the conversation at the time, I certainly think it reads like a shameless corporate exercise devaluing the music and his legend, but I do also see it as an interesting gateway between the physical and digital eras. While it would be another 12 months before the musical new age would begin and downloads would start their take over, older songs getting to number 1 is something that would become a feature of the digital era in various ways that still persist and labels have learned how to exploit this, just in a different way to how it was done before, and while I do prefer newer music getting the spotlight, events like this are always unique quirks of the chart which are interesting to view if nothing more. There's much more that can be said for this, so I will just link to this very thorough 3 part series on the Popular blog to commemorate the 1000th number 1: https://freakytrigger.co.uk/nylpm/2023/11/no-bird-can-fly-no-fish-can-swim-until-the-king-is-born Anyway, the song itself is one of Elvis' biggest hits and one of the world's best selling singles at 20 million copies. It is based on the 1916 composition O Sole Mio, Elvis first heard another song that used this melody - Tony Martin's There's No Tomorrow while on military service and was inspired by this to do his own version. He pitched the idea to his publisher who had songwriters write it in less than half than hour, in the UK, there was a copyright issue which meant it was delayed a few months but anticipation was so high that it managed a rare-at-the-time number 1 debut and stayed there for eight weeks in October 1960, and added to that tally 45 years later. Of course if you're in the UK, you'll more likely know it as 'Just One Cornetto' as many years of advertising has wormed that into my brain so that I can't really think of much else when I hear this, and that's ultimately why I've ranked this one the lowest as any intended effect it may have is dwindled so that the only feeling I get from this is wanting an ice cream. But even outside of that. it's your standard 50s/early 60s crooning number which just doesn't appeal to me much, however much I can appreciate the instrumental, his vocal talent and the backing singers. It's not as bad as some of his movie releases, but it's not a highlight in his back catalogue,

Got to love the Teletubbies, I was 5 at the time so around about the right age, although I kinda wish I could've experienced it at university age as it would've been a whole different experience x

I've never listened to an Lily Allen album, she's pretty much an artist I'd written off as past her peak but I certainly couldn't ignore the buzz here so took a listen - it really hooked me in right from that bait and switch in the title track, really great storytelling and her lyricism is frank and brutal as it's ever been. I agree with the Lemonade comparison, but I think this is a bit harsher and angrier, not really trying to see it from both sides (and so she shouldn't, from what I gather x). I also really like the genre diversity and the progression from harsher genres like D'n'B and 2Step (Ruminating and Relapse are both big highlights) to more quiter moments as she starts to go deeper into her thoughts. I think my only criticism would be it's a little too long for what it is and the later songs don't hit as hard, although I do like that callback to It's Not Me, It's You at the end. That Stranger Things 5 trailer dropped at an opportune time didn't it? 😉

I think the traitors really messed up not murdering Nick instead of Lucy when they had the chance, that would've made it more difficult for Joe to trust other people. I think it's likely to be a faithful win unless they can really convince David. I don't know how they haven't got Alan yet, that's twice he's messed up around them!

24. Shayne Ward - That's My Goal #1 for 4 weeks W/E 31st December 2005 - 21st January 2006 #2 in EOY The second series of the X Factor was where the juggernaut began to form, the ratings rose, the drama continued and the show was starting to feel like must-watch television, while I wasn't quite there yet until next year, I definitely remember the contestants making their mark. While it was still tame compared to how it would turn out, Cowell was clearly seeing what was working. There was drama related to judge's choice of act progressing when Maria Lawson was eliminated in favour of the Conway Sisters, a result that not only was controversial in terms of singing ability between the two, but also an act that happened to be Irish and that judge Louis Walsh happened to save, the headlines wrote themselves. Lawson would be a rare case of an act eliminated early to get a blink and you miss it record deal and a chart hit (and still a favourite of my mum's x), so to did runner-up Andy Abraham, third placed group Journey South and arguably X Factor's first 'novelty' act, Chico Slimani, I'll let my successor tell you about him x There was no arguing with the winner though, Shayne Ward was bookies and audience favourite from the first live shows and though he only narrowly beat Andy Abraham in the final, this was clearly more in line with someone Cowell could work with - a young, attractive singer with wide appeal that could potentially go past the 'pub singer does an album of covers' model and engage with the younger audiences and adapt to the changing times where 'adult contemporary' acts were losing relevance in the digital age. Additionally, his age meant a lack of experience that would make challenging his output less likely. And tbf, Shayne certainly did better than Steve, if minimally so compared to later acts, tapping into that R&B/soul sound to get a few hits, but he never achieved another number 1. He managed two album cycles, but by the time of his third, he couldn't quite keep up with the many other fresh-faced stars that Cowell had to focus on, limping back with a Nickelback cover of all things and his album missing the top 10. He was dropped in 2011 and moved to acting in Coronation Street from 2015 until 2018, he still has a few recent roles according to wiki so seems to have done alright for himself considering x That's My Goal was a rarity in X Factor winners as it was an original song, something that wouldn't happen again until 2016 with Matt Terry's When Christmas Comes Around (lol), but it certainly turned out to be quite a success, despite not being released until Wednesday, it sold over 450,000 copies to easily achieve the conveted Christmas number 1 (something that the show would rent out for a while now), selling enough in the year to be as high as second place in the EOY, only behind Amarillo. It remains the third highest selling winners single of all time and fastest selling. I do think this song certainly has its merits and is probably above average for an X Factor's winners single, and you can see how it established so many after it - he sings it well, it's fairly decently paced and has suitably gradiose production and the 'Shayne!' moment with the key change and choir sets a precedent for many winners singles to come and I ironically enjoyed it every time, it's a world away from Against All Odds for sure, there's only so much praise you can put on these calculated, formulaic winners singles though, it's still got trite lyrics, a predictable, boring structure and a lack of any sort of distinction, emotion or substance that can allow you to see through the pound signs, this clearly was all they had to give as an original song and they went back to covers after this where the formula would get worse and worse. It's not particualrly unlikeable as a song, but what it inspired makes it so.

Tom Ewing from Popular who's reviewing all the UK number 1s (slowly x) did a great piece on Candle in the Wind 1997 and Diana's legacy so to speak: https://popular-number1s.com/2014/03/27/elton-john-candle-in-the-wind-97-something-about-the-way-you-look-tonight/#debug5 The whole hysteria has never quite sat right with me, but song-wise, it's always been boring, though I don't doubt the authenticity of how he was feeling when he sung it. I actually didn't mind the R Kelly and P Diddy songs, but have no desire to revisit them.

25. Westlife - You Raise Me Up #1 for 2 weeks, W/E 5th November-W/E 12th November #9 in EOY Westlife as was then tradition picked a song that had already been covered many times or the history behind it. Originally by Norwegian-Irish string band Secret Garden with additional vocals from Brian Kennedy based on an instrumental string piece called Silent Story composed in 2001, the original singer was due to be Johnny Logan, but they wanted it to be distanced from Eurovision and they wished for a serious song given it was played at the composer's mother's funeral. It was included on their 2002 album and though it did sell well in their native countries, the song was not initially a big hit anywhere else, missing the top 100 in the UK. It picked up the attention of many adult contemporatry names, most notably Josh Groban whose version was popular in the US, but didn't make a lot of waves over here until Westlife's version. Westlife first performed this with Secret Garden at the Nobel Peace Prize concert, they didn't initially want to release it, saying it was a church song and wouldn't be successful, that proved to be quite the opposite and it was their biggest hit in years, though they were generally on the decline and this would be their penultimate number 1, it was enough to show we (somehow) hadn't quite tired of them yet. There was also a recent plagiarism lawsuit filed for this song by Icelandic composer, Jóhann Helgason who claimed that the song infringed copyright of his work Söknuður (Into The Light) by Vilhjálmur Vilhjálmsson, stating the composer, Rolf Løvland would've heard it while he lived in Iceland. It never went anywhere as the US court ruled in his favour stating that the two are similar enough, but not enough that it was literally Helgason's work. Listening to it now, hmmm there's something there definitely, judge for yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oq9tphh6Apw Anyway, I'm talking about that as it's probably more interesting than this version...honestly, I don't rank this as one of Westlife's worst, I feel it does at least suit them well (in that, it's nothing special in the first place) and a decent one to ironically tick off the Westlife checklist like the 'up from stools' moment and the faux-sombreness of the lads in the video (now sans Brian McFadden ofc.) is at least amusing, there's a nice string section as a callback to the original, but Westlife's best is not saying a lot and for all the drama and emotion it goes for, it's very empty and bereft of substance. I took a listen to the Groban cover (that's a lot of You Raise Me Ups to listen to, I hope you appreciate my sacrifice x) and it is stunning how they literally do beat for beat what he does with it barely changing a thing, it's note for note the same with the added caveats of less powerful vocals, just like they would do with Daughtry a few years later. It really highlights how utterly lacking in creativity and soul they are and even if this one of their better ones, I can't rank it much higher.

I have a self imposed rule that I don't recycle unless I feel it sounds very different from the original entry (may or may not be the case this month x), or alternatively I had no idea it was recycled in the first place which is more common looking at this list (even if I was in that contest ) I've highlighted where I was in the contest at the time of the original artist being sent. Aeroche (Sidewalks and Skeletons) Armenijain (Bastille) Caerfyrrdia (I Am a Camera) Chestoria (Lava La Rue, this one really got me!) Danaeviia (Aly & Fila) Espen (Flight Facilities) FARC (REIN) Ingermanlandia (Woodkid) Lotunia (Anna Von Hausswolff) Persephonia (The Bullitts, Kids of the Apocalypse, WEDNESDAY CAMPANELLA) Ojnoj (Desire) Quotosibb (Kaskade) Republic of Adonia (JUTRØ) Rivandia (M83) Rolloland (Steven Wilson) Seyetana (Saint Saviour) Skall (Slowdive) Tinnmark (Highasakite) Trifoski (Soap&Skin, Amnesia Scanner, La Femme, Kite) Utopia (LCD Soundsystem) Trifoski and Persephonia the only two more than once, guess that makes sense x I have self-recycled We Are All Astronauts, Varien and films from myself (and I guess Thomas Bergersen given he is essentially Two Steps From Hell for my 100th), mainly for improving on their placement or introducing them to a new audience after some time, have had mixed success x Recycled from me: Aeroche (A.G. Cook) Beaverdonia (Fickle Friends) Cor Lupus (U.S. Girls) Cumulonimbia (Nakhane) Danaeviia (Two Steps From Hell) D'yermak'er (Slow Magic) FSR Rontvia (WALK THE MOON) Flynnonda (Fickle Friends) Greenfroze (Illenium) Kluminican Republic (Two Steps From Hell, Chloe Caillet) Kylienips (Starsmith, Keep Shelly in Athens) Lotunia (Crywolf) Nelionoir (Night Tapes) Niceland (MOWE) Ojnoj (Illenium) Quintessa (Crywolf) Scherzland (Milk & Bone) Summericia (David Holmes/Raven Violet) Tartford (U.S. Girls) Utopia (A.G. Cook (as remixer), Dead Pony) Kylienips, Klum Rep and Utopia my biggest thieves (I've returned the favour on one occasion x)