I've been BUSY U HO, resumption will occur later today. Call it a flop if I make it to February without completing this.

135 / The Mission District – Just Don't Feel The Same

 

I can sense this one won't go down too well if people listen, but whatever. A sort of electro-power pop-punk hybrid with horrifically catchy/annoying call and response and a RIDICULOUSLY whiny singer, this is the sort of thing I really ought to hate with a passion. But there's something bizarrely inviting about it all - particularly that divine second half of the chorus which really won me over. Thankfully this remained obscure and my shame remained hidden from the world.

 

 

By and large, Shock Value II was the soundtrack of a producer not realising that his sound is horrifically dated but throwing out an album anyway just to fuel their KFC addiction - with one exception. This was that exception: by complete fluke, Timbaland deciding to hook up with one of 2010's (much as this pains me to say it) huge stars six months before they hit their stride and creating a moment of excellence. Sure, the verses and the lyrics aren't anything to write home about, but the true magic of the track comes with that gorgeously heartening chorus.

 

 

All I'm saying is THANK FUCK for K'naan and Shakira during this year's World Cup, as I think I would've rather been informed I'd won the chance to have my testicles repeatedly slammed in a set of drawers for the entirety of the competition than had to put up with that English/James Corden genocide advert 'Shout For England' and FUCKING THREE LIONS as the only World Cup-related anthems available to me. As it was, this summation of joy reminded me why I actually like football at times and made sure that I actually remembered the month of June fondly, despite the utterly pitiful failure on the pitch itself.

 

 

YES. By and large this year's Melodifestivalen was a rather subdued and deschlagerised affair (hence noted lesbian anthem Victorious being unceremoniously rejected by Christer, the bastard) but FUCK ME Pernilla delivered what any rubbishgai who pays attention to Melodi is after - OLD AGING HAGS with SYNTHS and SCHLAGER and BIG HOOKY GAY CHORUSES by the barrel. And Jag vill was FULL of these glorious confectia (not a correct plural form but I'm making it happen) and didn't care if it was going to be summarily dismissed as dated in the process - it WAS going to soundtrack that aging Alcazar member giving THE GIFT to someone in the Globen men's toilets whether the Swedish public LIKED IT OR NOT http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif

 

Alas POOR BRAVE Pernilla only got 12 points from the jury and nothing from the public and finished LAST, whilst goat bitch triumphed and went off to Oslo to flop her way to the first ever Swedish non-qualification. This kind of gold is WASTED on the Swedish.

 

 

GOOD GRIEF. By all rights this qualifies for an entry in the POOR BRAVE stakes, but I just can't bring myself to do so - particularly as she BLOODY WELL ASKED for the flop this inevitably got by releasing such a stupidly unlistenable track which took a FULL four weeks to transform itself from RIDICULOUS to FABDICULOUS. Black Eyed Peas you AREN'T Alesha: you simply can't get away with releasing something so utterly mind-boggling and out there when your place in the music business is so tenuous anyway.

 

That said, I'm rather glad she did. When I did FINALLY come around to the merits of this track, I realised that the rhythm section actually WAS rather wonderful and catchy (ALTHOUGH A PROPER HOOK WOULD'VE BEEN NICE, LOVE), and the whole thing was so fantastically filthy as to make its patent shitness actually rather charming. And in a way, who cares if she doesn't have a hugely successful music career? At least she has one on the panel of Strictly, which is more than can be said for fellow ex-Mis-Teeqer Sabrina 'BIG IN POLAND' Washington.

134 / Timbaland; Katy Perry – If We Ever Meet Again

 

By and large, Shock Value II was the soundtrack of a producer not realising that his sound is horrifically dated but throwing out an album anyway just to fuel their KFC addiction - with one exception. This was that exception: by complete fluke, Timbaland deciding to hook up with one of 2010's (much as this pains me to say it) huge stars six months before they hit their stride and creating a moment of excellence. Sure, the verses and the lyrics aren't anything to write home about, but the true magic of the track comes with that gorgeously heartening chorus.

 

:wub: One of my number ones this year, great list so far, Tyron! :D

Edited December 22, 201014 yr by Leonardo

Right, it's been a week and this has made it to the second page so I may as well bomb my way down to the 80s in the space of a morning if I want to retain any self-respect!

 

-

 

 

LOOK JUST HEAR ME OUT

 

I KNOW I've made a habit of turning her into a pariah (lest we forget the SCHLAGERFIASKOT headline) and referring to her as 'goat bitch' (I AM STILL CORRECT IN THIS ANALYSIS). I KNOW she was responsible for keeping Sweden where they've never been kept before and holding them back in the semis. And I KNOW she earned the chance to do so over far greater contenders - three of which are still to come a LONG way down the line in this countdown. So really it ought to register as rank hypocrisy that I place this in my top 200 at all, let alone at a position whereby several arguably superior contest entries are below it. However, this is genuinely a lovely, lilting, anthemic little slice of acoustic pop (those strings!), and whenever I listen to that middle eight and the bridge to the final chorus I get swept away a little bit in it (much as Anna did herself on stage at that point, except I don't look like a smug bitch who thinks victory's in the bag whilst doing so) and genuinely feel it ought to have qualified and come 12th, or something.

 

But then I remember that point when the qualifiers were being announced and it was between Sweden and Denmark and I wholeheartedly backed Denmark; that had the Swedes chosen Eric Saade or Timoteij they'd have been a shoo-in for the top ten; and that this really was a baffling choice for the Swedes given what was on offer last year, and I console myself a little. After all, nice as this is, THANK f*** it didn't get through. Hopefully the Swedes will have learned their lesson and will wave Eric Saade or Love Generation through Melodifestivalen next year and RETURN EUROVISION TO ITS RIGHTFUL HOME in Globen for 2012.

 

 

Who knew CHERLY, modern Trash Queen of Hearts and unofficial representative of Broken Britain, would be capable of doing something so classy and ornate? Certainly not I. It's a shame she couldn't carry this sort of thing on for the next album, which turned out to be one of the worst of all time (relatively speaking). DULL BITCH

 

128 / Amanda Jenssen – The Rebounder

 

Sadly I can only find the live version of this, but it says how talented Amanda is as a performer and as a composer that all the things that make the studio version great are there. Amanda has a real knack for conjuring up a melting harmony or seven, and that voice is an absolute world-beater for emotion: you can feel her hurt and struggle, without it ever descending into moping, as there's that edge of steel to it all. And this is all before we've gotten to that gorgeous scat hook.

 

127 / Joe McElderry – Fahrenheit

 

Oh MY. If ever a track SCREAMED 'I'M A BENDER' to the world, it was THIS. As if determined to announce he was taking up the pink flame where Mika and the Scissor Sisters c. 2006 had left off, Joe knocked out this album track which sounded, er, like Mika doing I Don't Feel Like Dancin'. Still, all thoroughly FABULOUS so far, but as if to shout to the world that partying like it was OH SIX all over again just WASN'T enough, he threw in a BIG GAY RIDICULOUS VOCODERED $$$$ note at the end which makes the whole affair vv http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif.

 

 

OK, I'll admit it. I've u-turned on this track in a HUGE way over the last few months. I still insist that the key change at the end is possibly the LIMPEST IN THE EXISTENCE OF MANKIND but the rest of the track is so horridly bloody charming that you just HAVE to come around to it.

 

(STILL NOT THE MINE ALL MINE/CARA MIA HYBRID I WAS AFTER MIND)

 

 

It stands as testament to Starsmith's power that I've been loving this track (albeit in demo form) since OH EIGHT (bored of it by the middle of oh nine) and yet the album reswizzle, which technically did a grand total of BOT ALL (unlike Wish I Stayed, which I will talk MORE UPON later), actually managed to freshen up the track enough for me to become obsessed with it all over again. It's those grandiose synths backing up the chorus I think, but oddly enough for Ellie Goulding at her best, it's not the production that's making this track special but actually her sub-goat bitch warbling. FABULOUS.

 

 

LOOK JUST HEAR ME OUT

 

POOR Justin Bieber. Possibly the most successful child star in terms of name recognition and actual substantive success since...Michael Jackson? And he gets NOTHING BUT VITRIOL purely for being a male tenor and looking/sounding two years younger than he is - to the extent that people are so blinded by how 'annoying' he is (the vast majority of whom when picked up on it haven't heard a SINGLE JUSTIN BIEBER TRACK. I should know, I was one of the bandwagon jumpers at first) that they won't recognise that he's actually coming out with the sort of thing people would be spaffing themselves stupid over had say, oh, The Ronettes recorded back in the day with Baby. A technically wonderful pop song (and Ludacris's rap is rather wonderful, if a tad disingenuous. You just KNOW he feels like he's rapping a censored version of whatever the hell he was doing when he was 13.) but whatever. HATAHS GON' HATE or some such vapid adage.

 

123 / Michael von der Heide – Il Pleut de l'Or

 

In a year absolutely PACKED with Eurovision injustices, this one stands out to my mind as probably the most outrageous of them all. Not for it not qualifying - that I could've dealt with given that's par for the course for Swiss entries - but for it finishing LAST in its semi with ONE POINT. Colour me BAFFLED AND OUTRAGED that the juries overlooked an incredibly classy chanson-style track dragged through the 80s and given the James Bond theme treatment which was actually performed rather well (even if by someone who looked somewhat like a trophy. CROP THOSE EARS babe!). But really, the most amusing outrage of all was that he got away with performing a song which translates literally as Golden Showers. The sheer bravery!

 

122 / Rihanna – Man Down

 

FIERCE BITCH. I've been saying this for years - what Rihanna needed to do to finally achieve superstardom was to record a raggafied tinny reinterpolation of I Shot The Sheriff. Where she truly shines though is in her work playing with the syllables - 'oh M'MAH, M'MAH' 'RUM PA PA PUM' - I defy you to not be won over by these just as much as she won the world over with her 'ELLA's.

 

 

POOR BRAVE MARINA LAMBRINI DIAMANDIS. Despite being generally fabulous and looking to have the world on her plate in January, 679 Recordings once again proved they don't know SHIT when it comes to capitalising on the vast hype built up for their artists with Marina this year, as happened with Little Boots and as I fear will happen again with Spark. Despite this shimmering, ebullient track leading off a stellar album, Marina's success relatively underwhelmed and now things are looking slightly dangerous - not quite as bad as it is for Little Boots, who literally has one throw of the dice left, but the second album will make or break Marina as a recording artist - an incredibly unfair scenario when you consider how much of a guaranteed top five smash the hook-filled and radio-friendly Hollywood looked to be at the beginning of 2010.

I don't care if this makes me one of those bandwagon jumpers, but Tirren's attempt to justify the existence of "Baby" means ANY future opinion Tirren may try to express on ANYTHING is henceforth null, void and downright WRONG.

 

And before Tirren starts screeching, I HAVE had the misfortune to hear the Bieber album as one of my friend is one of the great misguided (although he actually fancied Bieber the dirty old perv). It is as awful as it sounds on paper. Barney the Dinosaur and his gang go "urban".

Flop ytd chart compiler

Flop ytd chart compiler

You can't exactly say that when I've RESTARTED it!

I don't care if this makes me one of those bandwagon jumpers, but Tirren's attempt to justify the existence of "Baby" means ANY future opinion Tirren may try to express on ANYTHING is henceforth null, void and downright WRONG.

 

And before Tirren starts screeching, I HAVE had the misfortune to hear the Bieber album as one of my friend is one of the great misguided (although he actually fancied Bieber the dirty old perv). It is as awful as it sounds on paper. Barney the Dinosaur and his gang go "urban".

Don't be RIDICULOUS http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/evil.gif I'm not trying to justify the album, I'm justifying Baby, which could EASILY have passed as one of the doo-wop Wall of Sound greats!

I will also say that between the flop Eurovision $h!te that no-one bar Tirren and Gooddelta knows or cares about, Cherly Cole, the great Alesha Dixon career-killer and the lesbian child Bieber, this is easily the WORST countdown of anything EVER.

 

And "Shampain" is the ONLY thing of worth Marina Diamandis has put her name to. As for "Hollywood", Pink and even Andrea Corr were doing the whole celeb-bashing years before. And without singing like a constipated goat.

Don't be RIDICULOUS http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/evil.gif I'm not trying to justify the album, I'm justifying Baby, which could EASILY have passed as one of the doo-wop Wall of Sound greats!

 

I can't even find the words. There's no point arguing with you, because you're clearly LOST for good now.

GOOD GRIEF. BACK to your Magic FM, wretch!

 

(Anyway, listen to Amanda Jenssen, you might like her.)

You are becoming QUITE ridiculous.

120 / The Ting Tings – Hands

 

Quite wisely, though The Ting Tings recognised they'd crafted a modern pop masterpiece in That's Not My Name, they also realised that the rest of their material was so THOROUGHLY eventually grating (regardless of how good it seemed - or not - when you first heard it) that they simply couldn't continue that schtick for the second album. Plus, the whole new rave thing (which really they were never a part of, they just happened to be in the NME alongside those who were at the same time) had long since died on its arse and left them with no choice but to jump on the new bandwagon - electropop! Unfortunately, the Ting Tings were a year too late on that one and chose to rip off (with sheer gusto!) the one who'd done worst out of it all, Little Boots, right down to the DIY electro stylings and obsession with triangles and dark disco-y neon music video settings. As such, this flopped in at #29 and the 'as yet untitled second album due for 2011 release' will now probably never see the light of day. No flowers.

 

119 / Nabiha – You

 

Envision a dark dim cold coursework-filled March, where your only vices keeping you going are illicit drunken liaisons with theoretical best friends and high class menthol cigarettes. What else could possibly save you from such pains? CORRECT. Gorgeous silken-voiced Danish black songstresses enunciating enchanting syllabification (example lyric: 'it's all about YOU-OOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOO, YOU-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOO, YOU-OOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOH') over a swirling and imposing electronic sea of production. DIVINE.

 

118 / Diana Vickers – Once

 

By all rights I ought to be v. pissed off with this - the British equivalent of GOAT BITCH (sans Eurovision attempt, although let's not count our chickens too early looking at the state of DI's career) coming out with something not only veritably LISTENABLE, but hands-down FABULOUS. Fucking Cathy Dennis.

 

(As an aside, if I want to do comic karaoke I go for this. I can get the breathy honking goat bitch voice down to a T http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif)

 

 

This is far better than it has any right to be. Nelly single-handedly ruined my YEAR with possibly the worst lyric ever in the 'depends on the way you're shakin' your anus' line in Keri Hilson - Lose Control, but thankfully he'd built up a little capital with this lush and melodic sweeping production. The topline in the chorus gets me every time (as does the obligatory ridiculous 'trynna get my Usher awn' line). If I was prone to hyperbole I'd pronounce this ANTHEMIC http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/gggggg.gif

 

116 / Scissor Sisters – Something Like This

 

It's a hyper-robotic, stuttering electro track about forgetting how I Can't Get You Out of My Head goes and wanting to hear it again. I don't think I need to say any more.

 

 

THIRD overly African-pandering track inspired by the World Cup http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif The ORIGINAL goat bitch brings the ethno-joy this time, and it's a gorgeously relaxing calypso-influenced affair that was perfect for the weather at the time, but still sounds just as wonderful even in the bitter cold somehow. Alas, it was almost completely ignored in the UK (predictably smashing everywhere else) and we were left to deal with the adverts for abortion rapping over an 'ironic' 80s remake.

 

114 / Alexandra 'Andrea' Burke; Pitbull – All Night Long

 

Now BEFORE you all savage me for including the Pitbull version, I will defend it with the very simple fact that the production reswizzle makes the whole affair far more appealing, and Pitbull's average rap is a pretty tolerable price to pay for that. Andrea suitably bounces back from the hen night DISASTER that was Broken Heels and instead sounds far more half-arsed in her delivery (not a single powerhouse vocal moment!) than she has any right to be on what should theoretically a complete stormer of a track devoted to, well, going all night long...but one which actually manages to work incredibly well despite being v understated and relying a lot on production flourishes.

 

 

This track was nearly RUINED for me when I started noticing that Eric Turner gasps like a fucking asthmatic WHALE in between each chorus line.

 

Anyway, this is my least favourite of Tinie Tempah's three world-destroying singles this year - primarily because it has none of the lyrical prowess of Pass Out or Frisky, and also because it's incredibly generic in doing so. However, if you're going to be generic, you could do far worse than to be generic with that classic chord progression in the chorus that automatically wins the world over and unites everybody in appreciation at how steely and determined yet heartfelt the song is (see: Airplanes, Love the Way You Lie, every song in the Four Chords meme) - except Tinie actually comes off genuine in the whole thing, as you can believe the lyrics come from the heart. It's just a slight disappointment that the best one we got was a Malorie Blackman reference.

 

 

Heartfelt majesty isn't something you'd typically expect from a former member of Sweden's biggest girl group, but I doubt the point of the Rosanna project was to continue that sort of thing. Instead, with Waterfall, Rosanna Munter (what a singularly unfortunate name! No wonder she goes by the mononym...) positions herself far more closely with the likes of Tove Styrke and Robyn, with a backing of clattering gunshot drums, cascading 8-bit synths and mysterious backing synth strings that make the whole productive affair almost onomatopoeic of the title - before retreating for a moment of sheer, heart-rending vulnerability backed with broken piano chords and nothing else. It's a well-worn trick but, by goodness, it works fantastically.

 

 

Kelis as a disco diva: let's face it people, it WORKED. The throbbing production on 22nd Century, in particular, is such an extravaganza that you don't at all notice how lyrically impotent the whole thing is (80% of the song is either 'everybody's dancing', 'we are the stars' or 'take me away' - even bloody BUSTED managed more than that for their predictions of the future!) - and that's quite definitely one barometer for deciding whether or not a dance song is fabulous.

Great list and I'm enjoying reading the comments. I'm surprised you've been THIS passionate about 200 songs this year to manage a detailed comment about each!

 

The beauty in that Nelly Usher line isn't just 'Tryna get my Usher awn', but the tacky reference to Burn which follows :D You know how I love the likes of Waka Waka and Wavin' Flag, and I just can't WAIT for World Cup 2018. Imagine the Russia inspired anthems just waiting to be unleashed. Tingaliin can finally become the worldwide smash it was always destined to be! Serebro's worldwide #1/UK #46 will be something to look forward to as well!

Great list and I'm enjoying reading the comments. I'm surprised you've been THIS passionate about 200 songs this year to manage a detailed comment about each!

 

The beauty in that Nelly Usher line isn't just 'Tryna get my Usher awn', but the tacky reference to Burn which follows :D You know how I love the likes of Waka Waka and Wavin' Flag, and I just can't WAIT for World Cup 2018. Imagine the Russia inspired anthems just waiting to be unleashed. Tingaliin can finally become the worldwide smash it was always destined to be! Serebro's worldwide #1/UK #46 will be something to look forward to as well!

That is of course what I meant for the Usher line, I just didn't bother extending it :heehee: It's been a surprisingly fertile year in retrospect, certainly far more than it seemed a lot of the time. I don't suppose I've been helped just a tad by the fact that a lot of what I've got in the list either warrants defence against the likes of Shoat or flopped massively (or both!) which tends to inspire comments a lot more easily I presume than had everything been inoffensive and not required justification :lol:

 

Serebro doing a World Cup anthem would be spectacular :wub: Alas, I doubt they'll stay the distance now they've already replaced one member for 'financial reasons' (I presume they're self-funding these days given the Russian music market is pretty much non-existent in terms of profits...), so instead I'm dreading the Peter Nalitch and Friends-sponsored track. I live in fear!

I don't really get your appreciation for "Hands" which is easily as grating as anything else the Ting Tings have put their name to. A totally half-arsed comeback which deserved to bomb.

That is of course what I meant for the Usher line, I just didn't bother extending it :heehee: It's been a surprisingly fertile year in retrospect, certainly far more than it seemed a lot of the time. I don't suppose I've been helped just a tad by the fact that a lot of what I've got in the list either warrants defence against the likes of Shoat or flopped massively (or both!) which tends to inspire comments a lot more easily I presume than had everything been inoffensive and not required justification :lol:

 

Serebro doing a World Cup anthem would be spectacular :wub: Alas, I doubt they'll stay the distance now they've already replaced one member for 'financial reasons' (I presume they're self-funding these days given the Russian music market is pretty much non-existent in terms of profits...), so instead I'm dreading the Peter Nalitch and Friends-sponsored track. I live in fear!

 

I thought you grew to love that $hite in the end? I'm half expecting Lost & Forgotten to be top 100 here!

I don't really get your appreciation for "Hands" which is easily as grating as anything else the Ting Tings have put their name to. A totally half-arsed comeback which deserved to bomb.

Half-arsed I can see given it basically tried to package up 2009 and throw it out (as a 2009 electrofempop fanboy though, I lapped it up regardless), but it's nowhere near as grating as the likes of Shut Up and Let Me Go!

I thought you grew to love that $hite in the end? I'm half expecting Lost & Forgotten to be top 100 here!

Ha! I didn't grow to love it, I grew to sort-of like it in the end after many repeated listens (and voted for it in the BJ ESC out of sheer disgust at the horrors in that first semi) but it's certainly nothing I've listened to since the end of the contest!

Ha! I didn't grow to love it, I grew to sort-of like it in the end after many repeated listens (and voted for it in the BJ ESC out of sheer disgust at the horrors in that first semi) but it's certainly nothing I've listened to since the end of the contest!

 

I couldn't learn to ever even like that complete crap :( Awful singer, BIZARRE presentation (what was with the 80's flying out of the screen graphics?), horrible song and reminded me that Russia will literally never miss top 15 in the final, even if they send the worst song ever written, which they basically did anyway.