Posted February 27, 201411 yr http://i60.tinypic.com/dzdkhs.jpg http://www.scandipop.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/AlcazarAnton-e1393182565950.jpg We're nearly at the home stretch now, boys. So, heat four saw disco horror and heaven in equal measure, as Janet Leon murdered Hollow (and her career) all in one go with a double money note from hell, arriviste Josef gave a middling performance of a track good enough to win the whole damn thing and sank without trace, and Alcazar and the Bengtzing faced off in the ultimate schlager Sophie's Choice of a Globen or Bust while Anton predictably slipped on by with his dull recycle of every song ever from the last year with a gospel choir slapped on top. Still, who are we to complain - what a YEAR it has been. And into andra chansen we go. For the unacquainted, it's the second chance round that's been generating all those forced smiles from the third and fourth placers over the last four weeks, as they desperately try not to look ungrateful at the news that Sweden doesn't like them that much but at least thinks they're better than all those clapped out hasbeens that went out at the first hurdle (after all, career life support's better than killing it immediately by giving Sweden evils for sending you there). And in some ways as spectacle it's the best week of them all - desperation's at its most raw here, as these lot enter bloody hand-to-hand combat to save the last flicker of their careers. Lose out and it's gone; win out and the hype might be big enough to make Sweden forget they were even there in the first place. Indeed, the double or nothing feel to the whole affair gets accentuated by the fact that more often than not, an andra chansen qualifier ends up top four in the final - step forward Alcazar (twice), Shirley Clamp, Caroline af Ugglas, The Moniker, Anton Ewald, and most famously Robin Stjernberg, who rode the crest of his second chance all the way to victory last year. Of course, after Robin you'll now get a few of these desperados acting like andra chansen is the new direkt till finalen, but don't be fooled: they know this chansen is more sista than andra, and they'll be pulling out all the stops to make the most of it. Alright Cass, enough of the blurb, how does this thing work? Well, not as excitingly as it used to. Back in the day (i.e. until last year) it used to done in a deeply unfair but deeply watchable way - all of the eight acts were drawn into duels against another at the start, and after winning their duel they'd go to a second duel, and the winners of those two duels would go to the final. Despite giving us the joy of six Globen or Bust equivalents in one show (with the four first round ones doubly desperate, as these people were just dueling for the chance to have the chance to go to Globen), it was exceedingly arbitrary. The second most popular song in andra chansen could be drawn against the most popular one in the first round, and the other half could see the fifth most popular song in andra chansen win a ticket to Globen. Not to mention that the duel format of voting for one act or the other really punished divisive stars, as the acts they were up against would draw in votes from people who just wanted their hated star/genre to fail - witness the delicious unfairness of Nordman hauling in over 300,000 votes (enough to finish third in the televoting in that year's final, or even to win in a few select years) to defeat Swedish pop icon Carola in andra chansen in 2008. So, that system's out these days. What we have now is something a little closer to the heats, but still with the joy of duelling in there. All eight songs perform, and the voting begins. The top four songs go through to the duels stage, and the bottom four acts simultaneously run somewhere private to make panicked phone calls to their parents to tell them that they might need a bit of help with a really ill-advised second mortgage they took out the other week. The first placed and the fourth placed songs go head to head, and the second and third placed songs go head to head, and the winners get golden tickets to the final while the losers ruminate on the ultimate of mixed messages that Sweden just gave them. It's brutal, it's nail-biting, and it's fabulous. And we're blessed that for once, the line-up here isn't better than the final. Welcome to andra chansen boys *.* http://www.svt.se/cachable_image/1389264569/melodifestivalen/article1719254.svt/alternates/large/ammotrack.jpg 01: Ammotrack - Raise Your Hands Text och musik: Jari Kujansuu, Mikael de Bruin, Thomas ”Plec” Johansson och Calle Kindbom Ladbrokes odds on qualifying from andra chansen (decimal / fractional / projected finish within AC): 15 / 14/1 / 8th Aftonbladet poll on favourite andra chansen entry (percentage / projected finish within AC): 12.1% / 4th ♫ Am I strong enough to win? Only God will know ♫ Back so soon? Anyway, this lot have flexed their muscles already, but in fairness they didn't do so up against especially stellar competition - we know that they finished ahead of Linda Bengtzing's least immediate entry to date at least, along with that heat four roster of failure, but they did manage to get through despite I.D.A aiming for essentially the same vote and managing to finish sixth, which may possibly indicate that this could've been the less successful of heat four's two AC qualifiers. You already know my view on this one (as it goes, I wouldn't be averse to the track itself provided were on vox). The number of entries in this semi aimed at the 'REAL MUSIC ON REAL GUITARS' vote should hopefully dilute the chances of this causing any upsets come Saturday - but if something like this gets to the duels stage, be very, very afraid, because that's when the real music wankers pick up the phone to make a statement. Will Ammotrack be the one they turn to in the first round? http://www.svt.se/cachable_image/1389261188/melodifestivalen/article1719108.svt/alternates/large/linussvenning.jpg 02: Linus Svenning - Bröder Text och musik: Fredrik Kempe Ladbrokes odds on qualifying from andra chansen (decimal / fractional / projected finish within AC): 2.5 / 6/4 / 2nd Aftonbladet poll on favourite andra chansen entry (percentage / projected finish within AC): 10.9% / 5th ♫ I saw what happened When your wings were broken ♫ If iTunes and Spotify are anything to go by, this is the one to get scared about on Saturday: it's the most shared Spotify track on Sweden at the moment full stop (that said who on EARTH shares Spotify tracks on Facebook? I bet it's the Swedish equivalent of those girls who post attention-seeking statuses saying everything's awful and then reply with 'dnt want to talk about it xx' when people ask what's wrong. Actually, that's basically the target market for this song DOWN.), and it's the most streamed and bought track in andra chansen by far. Gulp. That said, let's take a bit of solace here. Ultimately, we have what is probably the most brazenly manipulative Melodifestivalen entry ever here - and it couldn't even finish top two, which gives a bit of credit to Sweden. And it is a fairly good song once divorced from the whole package, so it doing well on Spotify isn't wholly unexpected (and according to Spotify, EKO and Dr. Alban are more popular than YOHIO - but good luck arguing that one come the final votes). And ultimately, let's remember here: people are going to be voting on the whole package, and that's a package about someone's brother who carked it with puppies on the screen behind and 'I MISS YOU DEAD BROTHER' in big cursive font at the end of the song. If this gets to a duel, this has hate bait from a nation of retching Swedes written all over it. Right? Right? ...someone, hold me. http://www.svt.se/cachable_image/1389262580/melodifestivalen/article1719167.svt/alternates/large/jem.jpg 03: J.E.M - Love Trigger Text och musik: Thomas G:son, Peter Boström och Julimar 'J:son' Santos Ladbrokes odds on qualifying from andra chansen (decimal / fractional / projected finish within AC): 2.63 / 13/8 / 3rd Aftonbladet poll on favourite andra chansen entry (percentage / projected finish within AC): 16.1% / 2nd ♫ Bang bang, my baby don’t miss SOS, I think I got hit ♫ i.e. the one about TUGGING SOMEONE'S WIDGE OUT on't floor Swooping in with the most overwhelmingly modern (well, 3008) track of the contest, J.E.M can be proud of making it this far - heat two had to be one of the most competitive in recent memory, with all of the top six (Sanna/Panetoz/this/Martin/The Refreshments/Little Great Things) sounding like potential direkt qualifiers in some way or another. As such, it's not really any surprise that J.E.M are seen as one of the big contenders to go a step further come Saturday with their 'Calvin Harris does the Black Eyed Swedes' moment - and hell, even though I'm vocal on my dislike of chart clones taking over Melodifestivalen (and, well, recycled EDM in general), even I can't resist a good SHAKE OF THE BREASTS to that divine post-chorus. There's not really anything else in here that goes for the young pop voting niche that Ace Wilder played to in the way this does, so I'd say this is pretty much a lock-on for top four, but beyond that it's anybody's guess. I actually think there's quite a big chance this could end up going head-to-head with Martin Stenmarck in the duels - and then we're back to a heat two result that we don't know yet. Further, as a little sidenote, G:son och Boström have had a track in the final (and the top four) every year for the past three. This is their last entry standing. Can J.E.M keep the flag flying? http://www.svt.se/cachable_image/1389263900/melodifestivalen/article1719230.svt/alternates/large/stateofdrama.jpg 04: State of Drama - All We Are Text och musik: Göran Werner, Emil Gullham, Sanken Sandquist och Sebastian Hallifax Ladbrokes odds on qualifying from andra chansen (decimal / fractional / projected finish within AC): 13 / 12/1 / 7th Aftonbladet poll on favourite andra chansen entry (percentage / projected finish within AC): 7.7% / 6th ♫ Too young to die ♫ That photo never gets any less hateful. SEND for the EMERGENCY ZYKLON B The GAY GODS gave us blessings and smitings in equal measure in heat three, slaying several gayves (~4eva weeping 4 dr. shirlsica clampcker~/note to self: never use word 'gayves' again), but saving us by scheduling hockey at the same time and dampening the anti-pop vote to send the two big guitar acts through to AC behind Ace Wilder. As such, something like this which would ordinarily be total direkt-bait now has the wind taken out of its sails and has to slum it through andra chansen. The other thing in its favour may be that this is a total through and through pop song - it's half a step away from being a fun./One Direction collab after all - and really they're the worst thing about it. This doesn't seem to have anywhere near as much hype and momentum as I'd have expected for such a strong track (although I was never quite as 'omg this is going to win it all!' as Pavel. This isn't Denmark for god's sake.), but I'd still keep my eye on this one. I'm sure Eyes will be the only one keeping his fingers crossed for it come the duel stages anyway - but can it even hope to get that far? http://www.svt.se/cachable_image/1389264671/melodifestivalen/article1719259.svt/alternates/large/ellinoreholmer.jpg 05: Ellinore Holmer - En himmelsk sång Text och musik: Ellinore Holmer, Åsa Schmalenbach, Vanna Rosenberg, Josefina Sanner, Amir Aly och Henrik Wikström Ladbrokes odds on qualifying from andra chansen (decimal / fractional / projected finish within AC): 8 / 7/1 / 6th Aftonbladet poll on favourite andra chansen entry (percentage / projected finish within AC): 7.2% / 8th ♫ My loneliness is all I know ♫ The reveal just before the performance last Saturday that Ellinore has Aspergers' Syndrome added another poignant touch to her backstory that it's been her lifelong dream to perform at Melodifestivalen. A song about how happy she is imagining meeting the person of her dreams pretty much knocked it all for six - you'd have to be totally heartless to not be moved a little by all of it (even if it is a bit grade school as a package) and even I don't begrudge her finishing ahead of Linda on that basis. However the fun's over now, she's had her time here, she's even slayed a dragon or two to use as an anecdote of how well it all went, and if this gets in the way of any more of my favourites there will be HELL TO PAY http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/evil.gif We've got enough of this type of song represented in the finals as is: can our hopes that Ellinore shan't add to their number be delivered? http://www.svt.se/cachable_image/1389262792/melodifestivalen/article1719176.svt/alternates/large/martinstenmarck.jpg 06: Martin Stenmarck - När änglarna går hem Text och musik: Andreas Öhrn, Alexander Bard, Peter Boström och Martin Stenmarck Ladbrokes odds on qualifying from andra chansen (decimal / fractional / projected finish within AC): 6 / 5/1 / 5th Aftonbladet poll on favourite andra chansen entry (percentage / projected finish within AC): 13.2% / 3rd ♫ I am yet again stood at the tip of the edge But when I jump time shall stop ♫ God those trousers are SHIT. You wouldn't have caught me dead for most of the last few years saying I wanted a Martin Stenmarck song in the final, but that was then, this is now, here we are, and let's deal with it. Anyway, the man's delivered: and in style too, sending the Nanne spawn home without dinner in heat two and settling the generation grudge match once and for all (think of it as the Swedish pop equivalent of the Lannisters sending someone to stab Robb and the foetus *.*). However, deeply poetic lyrics and absolutely titanic production in studio version couldn't really get around the fact that it all sounded a bit empty and didn't translate especially well on stage, so to andra chansen it was with Martin. Oh, and what's he got here? Another rematch? Granted, this one isn't as mouthwatering given at the business end of things Martin was barely even a concern to her, but let's not forget that in Eurovision 2005 Martin was brooding away in 19th looking on at all the points going to... http://www.svt.se/cachable_image/1389261139/melodifestivalen/article1719103.svt/alternates/large/helenapaparizou.jpg 07: Text och musik: Bobby Ljunggren, Karl-Ola Kjellholm, Henrik Wikström och Sharon Vaughn Ladbrokes odds on qualifying from andra chansen (decimal / fractional / projected finish within AC): 1.5 / 1/2 / 1st Aftonbladet poll on favourite andra chansen entry (percentage / projected finish within AC): 25.5% / 1st ♫ Ask me for a second chance How many is that now? ♫ (Really, I could quote the whole damned song up there.) Don't get me wrong. I want Martin in the final. But if there's any question at all on the matter, it's to be Helena all the way, and it's going to make my reaction to Shirl'n'Jessgate look like a mere stubbed toe if this doesn't get through. So, back to the heady days of week one. I'd just blown off my scheduled date (not like that you pigs!) to watch Melodifestivalen that week as I wasn't sure I could have any hope of realistically matching my Grindr profile description identifying as a 'masc dom top'* the second this performance started. Oh, there was more MINCING and SCREAMING than an INDUSTRIAL ABATTOIR. The week leading up had seen everyone start off by dismissing this as another obvious flop in the pantheon of returning faded stars, but I always knew there was more to OUR LEN than that catfaced old bitch Charlotte. Then the REVIEWS came in and I BASKED in their HEAVENLY GLOW. The most accomplished rehearsal since Evighet and the scent of Copenhagen across the waters already? I'll take that and FRAME IT. Then THE PERF came, and I was BATHED in a VISION of VOX. The sheer empowerment of this track meant that I couldn't even stop myself from INSTINCTIVELY raising my fist in empowered solidarity as our dame STRODE FORWARD for the second chorus, trampling lessers 'neath her sceptred heels. Here it was: she'd finally returned and SAVED US ALL as the fates had predicted for so long, and with the finest gay anthem since the DIAMANTÉ DAYS of GLORIA GAYNOR (potentially exaggerating; probably accurate). And with the final threat obstructing OUR LEN removed with the dismissal of Linus to andra chansen, it was finally confirmed that she'd been given the returning coronation she deserv-wait, what the FUCK? Who the FUCK is this Ellen bitch? CHRISTER YOU PIGCUN-(live transcript: end) So, shunted into at best third (it feels like a crime even now) by the combined forces of YOHIO's preteen fanbase and the housewife vote going wild for Songbird, OUR LEN has to suffer the indignity of having to battle with the lessers for her rightful place in the final. I'm hoping beyond hope that the odds and the polls are right and this is a done deal - but we all know Melodifestivalen never lets you have these things easily. It has to be said, it probably is far more thematically appropriate for the song that it has to be this way - and I'm hoping Helena will be pulling out all the stops and wearing a slightly more *.* dress in the bargain come Saturday. I'll be shaking with fear if this gets drawn against one of the rock entries in the duels (and let's not even contemplate the possibility of this not being top four), but I think we might just be in with a shot of justice here. Can Helena carry the hopes of literally tens of gays all the way to the final? *this isn't actually my Grindr profile description for the record http://www.svt.se/cachable_image/1389263783/melodifestivalen/article1719226.svt/alternates/large/outtrigger.jpg 08: Outtrigger - Echo Text och musik: Outtrigger, Joy och Linnéa Deb, och Anton Malmberg Hård af Segerstad Ladbrokes odds on qualifying from andra chansen (decimal / fractional / projected finish within AC): 2.75 / 7/4 / 4th Aftonbladet poll on favourite andra chansen entry (percentage / projected finish within AC): 7.3% / 7th ♫ When the whip comes down like fire Gotta fight back like a lion Gonna get what you deserve ♫ I have to say (of course I'd say this, but still), this really is WASTED in the hands of anyone but . I mean come on, the least we deserve is a reverse cover by Robin Stjernberg, because there really is a fabulous pop song here obscured behind all those violent adolescent guitars and that godawful screaming (PREACH WITH ME ALEXRANGE). This looks to be the favourite rock entry in here that'd get the nod if any of them can overcome the split vote, and a fourth place this versus a first place Helena really is the duel of nightmares for me. Is it too much to hope that this will be one niche subgenre too far for a role come the duels stage? -x- So, with that, you have three tasks - say which two you WANT to qualify, predict the order of the top eight, and say which two you think WILL qualify. ONE WEEK LEFT LOVES.
February 27, 201411 yr thank you for the glorious write up as per usual ty. mother melody *.* must have been a struggle to think of what to write for such dirge. btw is this who i think it is: http://www.thelocal.se/userdata/images/article/w468/5b1fcf312df325db26f63c64c6d3202dfc1566d3fb3da9f8e76288d04e1d3f27.jpg
February 27, 201411 yr Author waiting for something to SUPPORT is paparizou the best we have so far? well if you'd BOTHERED WITH ANY OF THE OTHER WEEKS you'd KNOW fgs jake lesser
February 27, 201411 yr the bad quality of the jem video makes it look like sean kingston, xtina and skrillex have finally done the deed and joined forces
February 27, 201411 yr (jake lesser need not stick) http://imageshack.com/a/img163/6703/yalx.png Edited February 27, 201411 yr by JakeWild
February 27, 201411 yr Author the bad quality of the jem video makes it look like sean kingston, xtina and skrillex have finally done the deed and joined forces didn't survive this post
February 27, 201411 yr predixxx 01 helena 02 outtrigger 03 martin 04 ellibore 05 LINUS! 06 ammotrack 07 jem 08 state of bananarama Please make it Helena v Martin in the duel too! And I think in the duel Ellinore could actually qualify over any one of the Top 3 bar Helena probably.
February 27, 201411 yr the bad quality of the jem video makes it look like sean kingston, xtina and skrillex have finally done the deed and joined forces I wanna know, what do you want You wanna steal my treasure, my [Melodifestivalen]? You're gonna leave me empty inside? Cause I know what you are know what you are, I know you're (jake lesser lesser lesser) ~
February 27, 201411 yr Let's make it a little bit more OFFICIAL by creating a POLL for a change ifthatsok
February 27, 201411 yr WANTXXX: JEM + I'm afraid Martin just edges it for me over Helena. PREDIXXX: Helena + Ellibore
February 27, 201411 yr Want: Helena & Outtriger (Linus as close 3rd) Think: Helena & Martin (Could be JEM instead of Martin but not convinced)
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