#470. Cher Lloyd - Swagger Jagger

1 week at #1 in 2011 (#27 of 30 for '11)

 

 

"Oh my darling; oh my darling Clementine.." ever since someone pointed that out to me I can't get it off my mind! This song is so bad. So bad in a funny way. She definitely brings out her bratty side in this. It's a diss to her haters that can't stop Tweeting and YouTube-ing her; though it seems a bit premature to making that kind of statement. It's such an obnoxious mess of a song. But I think that was exactly the purpose behind making it. I mean, they couldn't possibly have thought this would've taken seriously. It's the most bizarre debut single I've seen from an X Factor contestant. And I still have no idea what "swagger jagger" is and why there needed to be so many references to Mick Jagger in the pop music at that time. I actually really liked her debut album (still haven't had the chance to listen to her second one yet), but this is like the worst song on it.

 

 

#469. Chico - It's Chico Time

2 weeks at #1 in 2006 (#19 of 24 for '06)

 

 

From one novelty X Factor song to another. He sang this, an original song, on one of the live shows during the second season. And released a studio version in early 2006. He reminds me a bit of Ricky Martin, and this song reminds me of "Livin' La Vida Loca" (or at least one of his other songs). But notably less irritating. It's funny at times, but it gets old fast.

#468. Kings Of Leon - Sex On Fire

3 weeks at #1 in 2008 (#18 of 20 for '08)

 

 

I've never understood the appeal of this song (or "Use Somebody" for that matter.) They both do absolutely nothing for me. I don't really like his raspy vocals, either. This somehow managed to miss the top 50 in the US, but was massive everywhere else in the world.

 

#467. Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl

5 weeks at #1 in 2008 (#17 of 20 for '08)

 

 

Gimmicks; they are generally the source of one-hit-wonder novelty hits. Who would've thought Katy would've lasted as long as she did after this? I think mostly thanks to the insanely catchy "Hot N Cold", she was able to escape the one-hit-wonder tag (although she certainly didn't stop relying on gimmicks.) This song was made to be controversial, no doubt about it. She's not discovering her sexuality.. she's getting drunk and experimenting kissing another girl (which just screams as a cry for attention.. she's singing this to her boyfriend after all); offending a good portion of the LGBT community in the process. I don't take particular offence to this song, and I found it pretty catchy at the time. But it hasn't aged very well. And in 2014, I find this song kind of stupid (for lack of a better word). It's in the similar vein as "Don't Cha" where I just find it to be too attention seeking, I guess.

#466. Oxide & Neutrino - Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty)

1 week at #1 in 2000 (#34 of 42 for '00)

 

 

Annoying. But I do like the production, and it's the only reason why it's this high.

Edited July 1, 201411 yr by n4yr

And I still have no idea what "swagger jagger" is

it means the same thing as 'swagger jacker' but with the pointless Mick Jagger reference in it to make it sound ""cool""

 

Urban Dictionary:

 

swagger jacker

A person who steals someone elses flow, lines, jokes, swagger.

- Ay bro, I just spit this whole song

 

- Na you didn't hova, I heard biggie say you a swagger jacker

^ :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

#465. UB40 - (I Can't Help) Falling In Love With You

2 weeks at #1 in 1993 (#14 of 15 for '93)

 

 

This was #1 on my first birthday. Blehhhh. Their first two UK #1's are nauseating. This is, at least, much better than those two drecks. It is, of course, a dance-reggae-ified version of the Elvis classic. When I first started following charts and I discovered this song, I found it pretty catchy. But it just burned on me so quickly and I'm fairly bored of it now. There's not a lot to this song, I don't like the brass instrumental for some reason, and I find Ali Campbell doesn't deliver hooks strong enough.

#464. Destiny's Child - Independent Women Part 1

1 week at #1 in 2000 (#34 of 42 for '00)

 

 

I feel like I'm in a section of songs I find overrated lately. :P

 

This is, of course, attempting to be a female empowerment anthem. That's very clear. But it just falls flat for me. The song just winds up being a list of fancy material possessions they have. The point sort of gets lost in that. I never liked the way the song was titled when the hook is worded in the opposite order ("all the women who independent"). I know that's a weird criticism, but it always bothered me as a kid lol. The Charlie's Angels references are annoying. I hate that breakdown that starts at 2:42 where they go into church choir mode and Bey mumbles a bunch of shouts. Also, stop asking me so many questions! >:(

#463. will.i.am feat. Britney Spears - Scream & Shout

2 weeks at #1 in 2013 (#25 of 30 for '13)

 

 

Oh my, I just looked at the lyrics for the first time. Never realized just how repetitive it is. There's really only about 5 different lines to this song! And they all sound like they were written in about 5 minutes. "Scream and shout" and let all of what out, exactly? I haven't the foggiest idea. I guess that's the reaction you're supposed to have when you see these two in a club? And apparently when they scream and shout, it sounds like "oh wee oh wee oh wee oh" (which is also a really lazy hook)... I've never heard a scream nor a shout that sounded quite like that. The production is okay, but I find it rather sluggish. Good thing the production speeds up at the bridge because I'm pretty bored by that point. "It goes on and on and on" is right. I don't like, nor understand the point of, Britney's random British accent.

#462. Rage Against The Machine - Killing In The Name

1 week at #1 in 2009 (#28 of 32 for '09)

 

 

This was always going to get a weird ranking mostly because it's just not my type of music.

 

Ok, everyone knows the story behind this song. A relatively little known 1993 grunge track used as a campaign against X Factor to nab the Christmas #1, who had owned the last 4 Christmas #1's. This was the side I was rooting for in that battle. Not because I'm in love with the song, or with grunge, but just for a change and for creating the first interesting Christmas #1 battle in 6 years. This song was written about racially motivated police brutality in the US. "Some of those that work forces, are the same that burn crosses" is a line about how some of the members of police forces used to be members of the KKK. Putting that meaning aside, I do think this was the perfect track to use in the campaign. The "f**k you, I won't do what you tell me" lines stand out so much in this song. You almost want to shout it out loud while they're singing it. That line can easily be directed right at Simon Cowell, and the X Factor machine in general. And to be anthem for society to longer be "sheep". I don't necessarily agree with that last part; I'm sure quite a few buy these winner's singles simply because they actually do enjoy them. But, the point still stands. And after much deliberation, I think this is the right placing for it in my list.

 

#461. Frankee - F.U.R.B. (F U Right Back)

3 weeks at #1 in 2004 (#20 of 29 for '04)

 

 

Yep, I like the answer-song more than the original. Why? Due to the shear hilarity of the fact that it exists in the first place!!! Like, I can't listen to this without rolling on the floor. And the fact that it replaced Eamon at #1? Even better! The fact that anyone thought about making it. The fact that she and Eamon had never even met before, so her "side" of the story is based on absolutely nothing. The fact that she couldn't be anymore anonymous of a singer (you know she's only going to get 15 seconds of fame and you know that her next single will bomb horribly.) The fact that is quite possibly the MOST blatant cashing in on a gimmick I've ever seen. Oh my.

Oh, you're not alone in finding Independent Women overrated!

 

I considered ranking Frankee higher than Eamon as I had fond memories of FURB at the time, but upon re-listening it was so awfully bad I could barely get through the entire song :drama: Definitely was smart (or at least brave) of her to record that though!

#460. R. Kelly - Ignition (Remix)

4 weeks at #1 in 2003 (#19 of 22 for '03)

 

 

Probably my least favourite of the 2003 big urban club hits. "In Da Club" and "Get Busy" are jams, but I just don't like this for some reason. And I've never really been able to figure out why. I can understand why it was major hit, but it just doesn't do a lot for me. I don't know why we need to be reminded that it's the "remix to Ignition". I mean, I'm only just learning now that this is, indeed, actually a remix from the album version. And I don't like the line "hot and fresh out the iamspamspamamiquot; for some reason (I wonder if iamspamspamamiwill get censored..)

 

Edit: lol

Edited July 3, 201411 yr by n4yr

#459. The Military Wives with Gareth Malone - Wherever You Are

1 week at #1 in 2011 (#26 of 30 for '11)

 

 

"Ahhhhuhhhhuhhhhhahhh". Definitely not the type of music I'd listen to. The operatic parts are annoying, and I was really sick of piano ballads in late 2011 (they seemed to be everywhere), and this debuted with way too many copies (556,000 is a bit much). But, I can appreciate the sentimental value of the song, and I appreciate the fact that it sounds absolutely NOTHING like any of the other #1's around it for I don't know how many years. It's not just unique sonically, but structurally too. It's a poem constructed of excerpts from love letters to their significant others fighting in whatever war.

 

That Christmas chart was one of the messiest UK charts I've seen in recent times (Only the post-2012 Olympics closing ceremonies week was messier.)

Edited July 3, 201411 yr by n4yr

#458. Busted - You Said No

1 week at #1 in 2003 (#18 of 22 for '03)

 

 

Simple story. Boy asks girl out. Girl says no. Boy gets laughed at by everyone at school. And that's pretty much it. Same reason why I dislike "Crashed The Wedding", but it's not as cringe.

#457. Shayne Ward - That's My Goal

4 weeks at #1 in 2005 / 2006 (#19 of 25 for '05)

 

 

The only X Factor winner's single (so far) to be an original song. Which is a major reason for why I rank it ahead of many of the others. This managed to debut with a staggering 742,000 copies; becoming one of the fastest selling singles ever. I've always been a bit confused as to why, though. Steve didn't even sell that much total. Did Shayne really have that much hype coming off of the show? I know he was being deemed as the UK Justin Timberlake (that totally panned out lol), and his looks are a big reason why he won, but still. The song itself is pretty bland and cheesy, and there's not much of a tune. I find it hard to remember how it goes.

#456. JLS - Love You More

1 week at #1 in 2010 (#27 of 34 for '10)

 

 

Speaking of bland and cheesy. Numbering the days, and describing how their feelings have grown with each passing day. It's pretty forgettable and easily my least favourite of JLS' #1's (unless you count "Wishing On A Star.")

 

Technically the Shayne Ward song is original, but I think it's a Westlife reject (says a lot about the song) so it's not as if they actually made the effort to write an original song for the winner.

^ why am I not surprised lol

 

#455. Erasure - ABBA-Esque (E.P.)

5 weeks at #1 in 1992 (#6 of 8 for '92)

 

 

This is what was #1 on the day I was born. As a #1, and as a birthday #1, this is just so bloody random. I mean of all the #1's I could've been born under... I get this? Sigh. :/ This, obviously, includes 4 cover versions of ABBA classics: "Lay All Your Love On Me", "S.O.S.", "Take A Chance On Me" and "Voulez-Vous". I actually listened to the entire E.P., but it's too difficult to rank a selection of songs against individual songs, so I decided to base my ranking solely on "Lay All Your Love On Me" (since that's the first track). I love almost every ABBA single I know of, and they might just be my favourite artist of the 1970's. Their songs have undeniable hooks and strong melodies. Erasure basically just make dancey versions of them, add in some dull and lifeless vocals, and add little else (except for that rap on "Take A Chance On Me"; that caught me by surprise lol). All 4 tracks are pretty much the same. They almost suck the life out of some of these songs, and I'd rather listen to the originals any day of the week. Though having ABBA associated with my birth is pretty cool!

#454. Room 5 feat. Oliver Cheatham - Make Luv

4 weeks at #1 in 2003 (#17 of 22 for '03)

 

 

Well this gets annoyingly repetitive quickly, doesn't it?

Edited July 4, 201411 yr by n4yr