The Suedehead2 Sub Chart Commentary w/e 3rd August 2023

8 weeks of Sprint-ing creates a Blur at the top of the album chart

Suedey's having a well-deserved holiday so the Substitute is standing in for the next 3 weeks!

It’s 8 weeks on top for Dave and Central Cee, so I’ve given in and played the video out of curiosity. Hmmm. I do generally enjoy a good tune... so I’ll move on. Sprinter has the longest run on top for a rap record since Drake and God’s Plan’s 9 week-run 5 years ago, and the longest run by UK rap acts, ever, I think. That leaves Olivia Rodrigo’s vampire still sucking blood at 2, Dua Lipa dancepop Dance The Nightclimbing suddenly to 4 following the release of the Barbie box-office smash movie and a few weeks of meandering in the teens. Talking of Barbie, Billie Eilish climbs to a new peak of 3 with What Was I Made For, and it’s a 3rd Barbie movie track as Barbie World climbs to 5, giving Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice a 15 place climb, supported by Aqua. I say supported. I mean, providing the backbone of. It’s a great record, Barbie Girl. I can do without the annoying rapping and random beats all over it, but as I said I do love a good tune. Others must agree with me cos the original is new in at 40 almost 30 years on. Yay Aqua!

Outside the top 10, Byron Messia has got the Talibans at 12. I had those once, but I picked up the next day. It’s not quite as bad as enduring the Shish Kebabs or getting grabbed by The Bolsheviks, though, but it’s a close thing. At 17 and up 8, we have a Becky Hill Disconnect, with added Chase & Status. Highest new entry is at 19 and Charli XCX is back with a sub-2-minute autotuned slice of pop based on Toni Basil’s Mickey, or as I prefer to call it Racey’s B side Kitty. Her 14th top 40 hit in the 11 years since topping with Icona Pop and I Love It! Her number one that is.

Second-Highest new entry of the week is Stormzy and RAYE at 23 with The Weekend. Not The Weeknd, he’s one spot lower. Stormzy is on his 32nd top 40, RAYE her 13th, and it’s pretty reasonable bar the swearing. Also new, at 24, is Travis Scott, Bad Bunny & The Weeknd collab on some K-POP - which is autotuned Scott, autotuned Bad Bunny bringing his loco and la playa lyrics and beats into the UK charts (he’s huge in Spain and latin countries) with bonus The Weeknd, slightly aututuned, finishing off the track better than it started. Reminds me of Drake. King Of Autotune. Not nearly as bad though. Forgive me for not listing how many top 40 hits they’ve each had - The Weeknd will have added another 6 by the end of the summer, so that’s pointless, Scott gets no promo from me, and Bad Bunny is on his third.

Bou (featuring Slay) are getting Closer to the top 20, going where more than one recent chart hit has gone - taking one great sample of a Robert Miles classic - and rapping all over it presumably cos they can’t come up with a tune of their own as a backdrop. It’s almost as if there’s some sort of current fashion for taking 90’s pop classics and spouting nothing much of consequence over the top of ‘em! Up to 27 from 34.

Zayn makes a comeback of sorts at 36 and he’s gone the rap ‘n’ trap route. It’s not Pillowtalk, that’s for sure. His 8th top 40, and I’ve heard worse. There’s a new entry for Noah - sadly not the fab Noah Cyrus, but happily it’s Noah Kahan. He’s a US singer-songwriter not entirely unlike Mumford & Sons on Dial Drunk, his US top 40 hit, which is quite good actually at 32. And finally, let’s have a 5th and a 6th Barbie track, cos she’s in fashion, with Ryan Gosling, actual actor, getting a hit with I’m Just Ken new at 25. Barbie’s bf should have covered Hall & Oates’ I Ken’t Go For That (No Ken Do) IMHO. Haven’t seen the film yet, but I hope he eats a slice of Ken Doll Mint Cake. Mmmm mint cake. The last on the Barbie-Queue is Lizzo getting a very Pink 8th top 40 hit. I was wearing a pink top to the office yesterday because I have never subscribed to either dress codes or stereotypes, and I dare the Council to sack me before I retire, oops!

And onto albums, Blur are back with another easy Number One: The Ballad Of Darren outselling the rest of the top combined sales of nearly 40,000, most of them physical sales. That gives Blur 9 studio albums spread out over 32 years, 7 number ones in a row 8 years on from the last one, The Magic Whip. Or Hwip as Stewie might say. It’s also 29 years since Parklife did it first, and Damon Albarn’s second of the year with Gorillaz’ Cracker Island also doing it. Blur are still good, and always have been. That leaves Taylor Swift’s version of Speak Now holding at 2, The Weeknd’s Highlights still at 3 - will no label just give him a break on new releases for a week and let him get it to the top spot?! It’s almost like they fix the charts or something, gasp! J Hus is down 3 to 4 with his Beautiful and Brutal Yard. Where the Milk Shake used to be occurring, I believe. Elton John’s Diamonds slip a spot to 4, still glittering but the sparkling is marginally less.

Missing the top 5 is U.S. progrock-ish Greta Van Fleet’s Starcatcher, their third album enters at 8 and makes it a trio of top 10’s since their 2018 debut, Anthem Of The Peaceful Army. I rather like them! Join The Club, is the advice from As December Falls, new at 11 for the Nottingham pop-punk band. It’s their 3rd album, and I’d quite enjoy hearing them do a cover of 70’s Nottingham band’s Paper Lace’s The Night Chicago Died. Mostly cos I was born a few miles away. From Nottingham, not Chicago. ‘Ey Up! New Jeans are at 15, Get Up, they say - though if they came from Notts and not South Korea, the girl group might have called it Gerrup. It’s their second album. And that concludes the album news, bar the usual Hits Collections bouncing up and down and sideways.