No, it's what YOU and your family expects from a boy. Does a boy not bringing ANYONE home make him gay? 'Weird'? And as for mothers crying that their son might be gay - RUBBISH. I have many, many straight fiends who'd LOVE a gay son.

 

I think you've been brought up to believe there's some kind of shame attached to a homosexual child, to homosexuals in general. I suggest you get out more.... gay clubs are full of straights, who think the gays are wonderful.... the younger generation, who thankfully seem to have abandoned religion altogether, are FAR more accepting of homosexuality than past generatios. A good friend of mine was severely disappointed when her son started playing football and mentioning 'boobies'.... she'd have LOVED a gay son and all that goes with it (possibly more affection, companionship, closeness... and maybe even tips on interior design and trendy haircuts).

 

I agree that the world should be a tolerant place where homsexuality is no more exceptional than heterosexuality, but I find it unfortunate the amount of truth there is in some of what is being said - I have friends who say if they found out their son was gay that they would 'beat' him straight, and these are the youth of today (many of whom are very prejudiced against homosexuals, even though there are far more tolerant than there were in the past), which doesn't bode well for the future :(

 

While I believe that homosexuality and heterosexuality should not be treated as different, many people I know who even claim to be tolerant still subconciously find homosexuality odd, generally it can be seen in public, even if not done overtly a gay couple walking down the street holding hands would get far more looks than a heterosexual couple, because no matter how liberal the UK has become most people just don't consider it the norm :(

well debated guys, dont get too personal though and ruin it :)

you 'doubt' this because you've been indoctrinated with the message that being gay is bad, that being gay is shameful and that being gay makes you somehow less of a person than if you were straight.

 

Surely, ANY decent parent truly wouldn't give a monkeys WHAT their child's sexuality was as long as that child is happy, healthy, successful and contented....? Did YOUR parents tell you that being gay was less acceptable? I imagine, with your terrifying narrow-mindedness, they probably did.

 

And what a ridiculous equation... that because someone would have liked a gay child that they wanted them as a 'toy'...? Er.... what? :huh: And women seem to enjoy the company of gay men, whether it be a friend or family member...... except yourself, of course, who apparently sees being gay as shameful, unfortunate and unequal to being straight.

 

Lol, it´s not me who´s been indoctrinated... Surely a mother would want what´s best for her child. Have you ever been to school? Chilren joke at you if you are fat, too thin, too small, etc. You think a "camp" kid will be the one in the school that everyone wants to be friends with, the popular guy? Or would it be the one that nobody likes and the one that usually suffers violence from the others? Why would a mother want this for her child?

 

What you said really sounds like a description of a woman who wants a toy for her entertainment, a pet, instead of a son... "I want to have a gay son because if it´s hetero he will not be so affective and spend much time with me...". If a mother has a fat kid who is joked and ridicularized at school, surely she won´t stop loving this kid, but if she could chose why would she chose or make pressure for this kid to be fat knowing it will cause it to be considered abnormal and ignored by other kids? And why do most gay people only get out of the closet when they´re near their twenties? Surely it must not be something that will make them more accepted and respected in their families and circle of friends.

 

I don´t think that being gay is shameful or unequal to being straight, it´s just your ignorant prejudice that makes you acuse me of things I haven´t said.

the schools are full of fat kids here jjn... and the young generation accept homosexuality much more then my generation did in the early 70's!

You think a "camp" kid will be the one in the school that everyone wants to be friends with, the popular guy? Or would it be the one that nobody likes and the one that usually suffers violence from the others? Why would a mother want this for her child?

 

You're once again making a very dangerous assumption that all gay people are 'camp'... they're not, I can assure you. 90% of the gay guys I know, you would never, in a million years, think they were gay.

 

5 of them play in a local rugby team, 1 of them is a bouncer in a VERY rough pub in town, 1 of them is a bricklayer, one of them a carpenter... I think you've been watching too many episodes of Will and Grace, with its vile stereotypes. The majority of gay people simply aren't like that, as the majority of straight men are not woman-bashing, lager-swilling weekend warriors. As you displayed with your hilariously crass Cher comment - you've led a sheltered, indoctrinated life. Hence your religious references in every post you make - religion is the only life experience you have, isnt it?

 

As for not 'coming out' til they're older... I don't think sexual identity is decided in some people til much older... in some, it is, in others, not. Once again, in my social circle, ALL my friends bar one were 'out' as far back as they can remember.

 

And it seems you've failed to notice that, especially among the girls, having a gay friend is the 'in' thing.... my cousin's daughter has TWO gay friends... and they're the coolest kids in her class :lol: best music taste, best clothes, best haircuts. And these 2 kids don't have any problems with the straight lads in their class, either, it's just accepted... a "so what?" attitude.

 

You, once again, seem to have been brought up to think gays are to be pitied, not befriended and accepted.

I have friends who say if they found out their son was gay that they would 'beat' him straight

 

:mellow: :mellow: :o :o :o

 

you have people like this as 'friends'?!?!?! :o :o

 

Homophobia, like racism, is something I could NEVER accept in any friend.....

I've just found out my friend is gay, but it doesn't change a thing.

:mellow: :mellow: :o :o :o

 

you have people like this as 'friends'?!?!?! :o :o

 

Homophobia, like racism, is something I could NEVER accept in any friend.....

 

 

I absolutely agree.

:mellow: :mellow: :o :o :o

 

you have people like this as 'friends'?!?!?! :o :o

 

Homophobia, like racism, is something I could NEVER accept in any friend.....

 

They don't know about my personal sexuality, and I do tell them it's not an acceptable opinion to have but at the end of the day there's nothing I can do about it, as the homophobia is too deep rooted for me to do anything about it, and most of the time I can get them to shut up by comparing it to racism anyway. If they knew about my personal sexuality, I doubt they'd be my friends but it just goes to show that in a way it is treated as a shameful thing, and I'm only bisexual, I dread to think what they'd do if I was completely gay :o They've been my friends for several years so I'd never be able to just cut it off just like that, it just makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable when they bring it up :(

You're once again making a very dangerous assumption that all gay people are 'camp'... they're not, I can assure you. 90% of the gay guys I know, you would never, in a million years, think they were gay.

 

5 of them play in a local rugby team, 1 of them is a bouncer in a VERY rough pub in town, 1 of them is a bricklayer, one of them a carpenter... I think you've been watching too many episodes of Will and Grace, with its vile stereotypes. The majority of gay people simply aren't like that, as the majority of straight men are not woman-bashing, lager-swilling weekend warriors. As you displayed with your hilariously crass Cher comment - you've led a sheltered, indoctrinated life. Hence your religious references in every post you make - religion is the only life experience you have, isnt it?

I didn´t make any religious reference to justify my opinions, in fact the religious reference has always come from your side and I just stand on defense. I wouldn´t have even mentioned it if it wasn´t for your ignorant and unecessary comments about it that made me answear.

 

As for not 'coming out' til they're older... I don't think sexual identity is decided in some people til much older... in some, it is, in others, not. Once again, in my social circle, ALL my friends bar one were 'out' as far back as they can remember.

 

And it seems you've failed to notice that, especially among the girls, having a gay friend is the 'in' thing.... my cousin's daughter has TWO gay friends... and they're the coolest kids in her class :lol: best music taste, best clothes, best haircuts. And these 2 kids don't have any problems with the straight lads in their class, either, it's just accepted... a "so what?" attitude.

 

You, once again, seem to have been brought up to think gays are to be pitied, not befriended and accepted.

Okay, maybe it´s because we live in different countries and cultures, but why is there so much fight for gay rights and the word homphoby is so in at the moment, certainly it must be something that exists, if not why would you bother... Where I live gay people still suffer prejudice and are still ridicularized with bad comments and stuff. I´m not sayng I support this type of attitude, I´m just noticing it happens, and it comes not from me. In my class the ones who had an efeminate way (i´m not sayng all gays are efeminate) have always been humiliated with jokes and nicknames by others (not by me, tough), and I suspect that someone, even if not efeminate, comes out of the closet and declares itself gay it would be the same situation. Kids are not all tolerant and nice. I don´t need to say that in this case the "opressors" are not christian-zaelots like you think, but usually people who couldn´t care less about religion and also humiliate the same way religious minorities. If in your country your situation is different than you should be greateful cause prejudice exists in almost 100% of the world in a larger or smaller degree.

 

They don't know about my personal sexuality, and I do tell them it's not an acceptable opinion to have but at the end of the day there's nothing I can do about it, as the homophobia is too deep rooted for me to do anything about it, and most of the time I can get them to shut up by comparing it to racism anyway. If they knew about my personal sexuality, I doubt they'd be my friends but it just goes to show that in a way it is treated as a shameful thing, and I'm only bisexual, I dread to think what they'd do if I was completely gay :o They've been my friends for several years so I'd never be able to just cut it off just like that, it just makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable when they bring it up :(

 

If they are true friends they will not leave you because of that... Even if they had said so, but when it goes from theory to practice things are different, it´s too easy to say that you will leave your son if he is gay, but when it happens in reality you learn to love him I suppose. Most people still think that being gay is just an "option", so they think by sayng these things they will make sure that their son will not choose this way. Most parents say that in fact for liking their sons so much, they don´t want them to suffer homophobia so they want them to chose the "straight way", but they remain in ignorance in the sense of thinking your sexuality can be "chosen" like the clothes you wear. If they were aware of this fact their reaction would be radically different.

If they are true friends they will not leave you because of that... Even if they had said so, but when it goes from theory to practice things are different, it´s too easy to say that you will leave your son if he is gay, but when it happens in reality you learn to love him I suppose. Most people still think that being gay is just an "option", so they think by sayng these things they will make sure that their son will not choose this way.

 

I don't think they'd be AS good friends, I can't imagine them wanting to hang out with me all that much after, they may still like me but there would be a certain stigma attached to being friendly with me if I came out. As for 'optional homosexuality', I can't believe my classmates are that ignorant, it's a battle trying to persuade them it's complete bollocks that people can 'choose' their sexuality :(

I don't think they'd be AS good friends, I can't imagine them wanting to hang out with me all that much after, they may still like me but there would be a certain stigma attached to being friendly with me if I came out. As for 'optional homosexuality', I can't believe my classmates are that ignorant, it's a battle trying to persuade them it's complete bollocks that people can 'choose' their sexuality :(

 

 

I understand where your coming from. My friends that are somewhat homophobc ask me why don't you just be straight. And that's when I say to them why don't you just be gay?

 

but for some reason they don't believe that.

I understand where your coming from. My friends that are somewhat homophobc ask me why don't you just be straight. And that's when I say to them why don't you just be gay?

 

Mate, you should tell them to fukk off, they sound like false friends to me.... A true friend accepts you regardless of sexual orientation, race, creed colour and would never question it... If you were black or summat it would be a bit like asking "Well, have you tried 'acting white' a little bit more just to fit in...?"... It's pretty insulting really...

 

My parents aren't at all accepting of homosexuality. :(

 

It's why when I was first becomming attracted to guys I felt like I was doing something wrong (probably about 12/13), but over time I realised I wasn't and they were the ones in the wrong. As it stands, all the people who REALLY matter to me in my life know I am a bisexual, it's just I can't tell my parents because of how they may react. It's all good and well for someone to say to me "you don't know unless you actually go through with it", but I know them well enough to know what will happen. They have a hold over me aswell, if they were to disown me and/or kick me out because of it, I'd have nowhere to go and that would be it - my life would be ruined.

 

It doesn't really worry me anymore though, since I told my friends and stuff it's been easier for me and I've been able to talk to them about it, and even had a two year relationship with a guy, so it wasn't all bad!

Interesting discussion guys. I think I'm of the opinion that one's sexuality is genetic, though some good points have been put forward reagarding the nature/nurture debate.

 

I do think society is slowly becoming more acepting of minor sexual groups. My teenage daughter & her friends certainly seem more tolerant than my generation & certainly more so than my parents. To me the problem of acceptance still lies with our press. Can't understand why gay jibes are allowed when if racial comments were made everyone would be up in arms.

We're born gay, that's the end of it. Anyone who has a fling with someone later in life with someone of their own sex, is just being curious, and not really gay. Anyone who's gay knows that they were born like that.

We're born gay, that's the end of it. Anyone who has a fling with someone later in life with someone of their own sex, is just being curious, and not really gay. Anyone who's gay knows that they were born like that.

 

Incredibly deluded view -_- It is generally accepted that a person's personality and preferences are formed in the first 7 years of their life - I recommend you read 'They Fuck You Up' by Oliver James, has many examples of how certain situations influence homosexuality more - obvious example being that of having no strong male role modle in your life.

Its not deluded, the vast majority seem to feel that way. Upbringing may affect a few, but just a minority really. I believe that its genetic, its my opinion.

Incredibly deluded view -_- It is generally accepted that a person's personality and preferences are formed in the first 7 years of their life - I recommend you read 'They Fuck You Up' by Oliver James, has many examples of how certain situations influence homosexuality more - obvious example being that of having no strong male role modle in your life.

 

 

erm... listen to what he said 'we are born that way'.. thats a gay guy telling you how his sexuality was came by..

 

again i say that no matter what your upbringing, if you arnt built with a degree of interest in homosexuality then you just wont be that way!!... you can only nurture whats already in there somewhere and not create it.