Posted April 19, 200718 yr The Parenting Golden Rule By Jan Hunt, M.Sc. "Treat all others as you would like to be treated yourself." The Golden Rule has proved its excellence as a moral guide since ancient times. Greek and Jewish thinkers, Confucius, Jesus, and other teachers of ethics all taught this rule, which is called "golden" to indicate it's revered place as the ultimate rule of life. What better teaching can we utilize in our day-to-day approach to parenting? A variation of the Golden Rule for parents would be "Treat your child as you would like to be treated if you were in the same position." It might be illuminating to apply this "Parenting Golden Rule" to several common methods of discipline, by considering the case of a husband and wife in the "same position" as that of children being disciplined in various ways. 1. Physical Punishment The wife accidentally spills coffee on her husband's new jacket. He hits her. Will the wife be more careful with his belongings in the future? Or might she have him arrested for spousal abuse? 2. Time-out The husband starts to argue with a visiting friend. The wife tells him "It's not nice to argue with your friend! I won't have this! Go sit in the bedroom for half an hour!" Will the husband become less argumentative? Will the embarrassment of the situation set him straight? Will he feel like apologizing to his friend? 3. Consequences The wife is out driving, forgets to fill the tank, and runs out of gas. She phones her husband to ask him to take his car to buy some gas and bring it to her. He refuses, explaining that she has to learn from "natural consequences" to be more responsible. The next time the tank is low, will the wife remember to get it filled? Or will she be too preoccupied with fantasies of divorce to think about less important matters like car maintenance? 4. Counting The wife reminds her husband, who is reading the newspaper after dinner, that it's his turn to do the dishes. He murmurs, "Mm hmm," and keeps on reading. The wife says, firmly "You have to do the dishes now! 10-9-8-7..." Will the husband then feel like cooperating with his wife? Or will he conclude that he's married a lunatic? And would he feel the least bit loved? All of these disciplinary methods look ridiculous when viewed in this way. But the reason for this is that our society at some point decided that children and adults respond to others according to different principles of behavior. This has been a very harmful mistake. The truth is that children, like adults, feel most like cooperating with those who treat them with kindness, respect, understanding, and dignity. The only "method" that makes sense in a humane relationship - whether with a child or an adult - is unconditional love. In our society, we have been asking the wrong question. We have asked, "Which set of rules work with children, and which set works with adults?" The reality is, happily, far simpler: all humans behave as well as they are treated. Age makes no difference. Parents wanting to help their children grow to be loving and responsible adults can do no better than to remember the Parenting Golden Rule: "Treat your child as you would like to be treated if you were in the same position." It's simple, straightforward, and effective. And we don't need to spend any time finding out what age someone is before consulting this rule. One size fits all. http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/goldenrule.html Parenting is the one skill no one gets taught at school, yet somehow you could be doing this important job. What do you think of the above, should adults and children be treated the same?
April 19, 200718 yr ''The truth is that children, like adults, feel most like cooperating with those who treat them with kindness, respect, understanding, and dignity.'' This is true. I agree with that whole thing.
April 19, 200718 yr hmmmm treat adults and children the same? Are adults and children the same? Do adults and children think and reason the same? sorry but the answer is no. I agree with treating others as you would like to be treated yourself. I agree that treating children with respect teaches them respect. BUT children are not adults .... it is a little too simplistic an approach, in my opinion. I spend all day in a building with 250 children, and have 2 grunting hoodies living in my house. I have made many mistakes in both places, usually when I have not made allowances for age and understanding, when I have expected too much. All human beings need boundaries - we need to know where we stand to give us self confidence. I could go on (and probably will when I have more time later ;) )
April 19, 200718 yr If A Child Lives With. . . by Dorothy Law Nolte If a child lives with criticism. . . . . . . .he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility. . . . . . . . he learns to fight. If a child lives with fear. . . . . . . .he learns to be apprehensive. If a child lives with jealousy. . . . . . . .he learns to feel guilt. If a child lives with tolerance. . . . . . . .he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement . . . . . . . .he learns to be confident. If a child lives with praise. . . . . . . .he learns to be appreciative. If a child lives with acceptance. . . . . . . .he learns to love. If a child lives with approval. . . . . . . .he learns to like himself. If a child lives with recognition . . . . . . . .he learns that it is good to have a goal. If a child lives with honesty. . . . . . . .he learns what truth is. If a child lives with fairness. . . . . . . .he learns justice. If a child lives with security. . . . . . . .he learns to trust in himself and others . If a child lives with friendliness. . . . . . . .he learns the world is a nice place in which to live.
April 26, 200718 yr hmmmm treat adults and children the same? Are adults and children the same? Do adults and children think and reason the same? sorry but the answer is no. i disagree... to some extent... children are people just like any adult and should be treated as such. obviously though allowences have to be made as their minds dont think along 'adult' lines... but what are 'children'?.. 5 year olds? 15 year olds... are classed as children. you wouldnt talk to a 15 year old in the same way you would a 5 year old. i think you have to reason, listen to them and theyll listen to you. mutual respect.
April 26, 200718 yr If A Child Lives With. . . by Dorothy Law Nolte If a child lives with criticism. . . . . . . .he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility. . . . . . . . he learns to fight. If a child lives with fear. . . . . . . .he learns to be apprehensive. If a child lives with jealousy. . . . . . . .he learns to feel guilt. If a child lives with tolerance. . . . . . . .he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement . . . . . . . .he learns to be confident. If a child lives with praise. . . . . . . .he learns to be appreciative. If a child lives with acceptance. . . . . . . .he learns to love. If a child lives with approval. . . . . . . .he learns to like himself. If a child lives with recognition . . . . . . . .he learns that it is good to have a goal. If a child lives with honesty. . . . . . . .he learns what truth is. If a child lives with fairness. . . . . . . .he learns justice. If a child lives with security. . . . . . . .he learns to trust in himself and others . If a child lives with friendliness. . . . . . . .he learns the world is a nice place in which to live. spot on! :)
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