I was having a chat with my mum yesterday and she was telling me that her sister is fostering children. At the moment she has two young children under 13, but they act and think a lot younger than they are. My mum was telling me the horrific things that they had been through and how they act so different from 'normal' children, they had no friends at school cuz the other children thought they were stinky so they were always left out at playtimes etc, their development is way behind any 'normal' child.

 

My aunty started fostering not too long ago, she already has two sons but they're both grown up and left home now. The two children that she has now will stay with her until they're 18.

I'm not usually proud of my mum's side of the family, but I really respect my aunty for doing this. It must be so difficult taking in a child, who's mind is so messed up, to look after as your own. It got me wondering if I'd ever do it, I don't think I'd do it now or in the near future, but maybe when I'm older and had more experience with kids (I've done a child care course at college and worked with kids between the ages of 3 - 5 in a really rough area), then maybe I'd think about it. It made me really happy to think that these two children that my aunty has are now saved, but then I got really sad that there are still millions of others who will probably never be saved.

 

Has anybody else had any experience with adoption and fostering? Would you ever think about doing it? Or do you know someone who does?

 

 

(P.S. Hope I'm posting this in the right place, I know its not news but its a discussion thread :) )

I plan to adopt, I haven't really considered fostering. That was a good thing for your aunt to do though.

these people who take on these 'lost' children do a sterling job. they can give hope to kids who have been abused/neglected/mis treated, making them into well adjusted, balanced adults.

 

however not all 'carers' are good 'uns.... there was a case in cambridge a few years ago where the adopted kid was treated foul. there was a case across the road from me where a carer was physically abusing her 'charges'... no one believed the kids... hell i had a 12 year old girl knocking on my door at 10.30 on a sunday night wanting help... all i could do was talk her into going back (which in hindsight was wrong), putting it down to her being a stroppy kid.

 

the 2 girls she had left went even further off the rails, never having a 'daddy' or a loving mother... i know how they felt as they told me, one is heavily into drugs (last time i heard) the other was moved away to stoke on trent.... never knew what happened to her... she'd be 18 now...

 

so good carers are angels, but others can make the kids situation even worse.

My mum used to do emergency fostering of babies when I was small. Social workers used to turn up in the middle of the night with tiny babies - we always had a cot in my room - my dolls lived there when we didn't have a baby. My mum said she couldn't have fostered older children as she thought she would get attached - and as an emergency carer the babies never stayed with us long.

 

 

Through work I have seen both good and poor foster carers. I have seen foster carers got out of their way to ensure the emotional care of small children and have to say I don't think I would have the patience.

 

Foster care is not just a case of providing food and a bed. If you are 4 and wake up in a strange house with a strange family you need a LOT of help! Often the teacher and school is the only constant and I have worked with superb foster carers who have invited me to their homes to help a child accept it as a safe place.

 

Adoption is another story. I shall not give details but I have seen good people devastated and lied to by adoption agencies and children suffer. Adoption is again not just a case of providing a home.

I have also seen it done right :heart:

 

 

Adoption is another story. I shall not give details but I have seen good people devastated and lied to by adoption agencies and children suffer. Adoption is again not just a case of providing a home.

I have also seen it done right :heart:

 

 

Who can you trust, and who can you not trust? :unsure:

Not fostering, but adoption of orphans. I couldn't bear adopting only for their parent(s) to change their minds. Too much to handle.

Not fostering, but adoption of orphans. I couldn't bear adopting only for their parent(s) to change their minds. Too much to handle.

 

Well, once the adoption is final they can't do anything about it legally.

Well, once the adoption is final they can't do anything about it legally.

 

In a magazine (maybe Take That/Pick Me Up), this woman had adopted a boy and his biological parents changed their minds after 3yrs because they'd gotten back together and had another child. Maybe I read it wrong...anyway, they got take their son back.

In a magazine (maybe Take That/Pick Me Up), this woman had adopted a boy and his biological parents changed their minds after 3yrs because they'd gotten back together and had another child. Maybe I read it wrong...anyway, they got take their son back.

 

I'm sure the woman was kind and let them have the child back. I am sure that if the woman had taken some legal action against the couple it wouldn't have been so easy. But hey, I could be wrong.

My brother's girlfriend works at a primary school and there was a boy who attended (and still does) who was living with a foster family. The mother of this family, it turned out, was a proper cunt to him; refusing to buy him the new clothes he needed for school, treating her to blood sons like princes and just being pretty vicious to the fostered kid. In the end social services found out and had to relocate him; my brother's girlfriend seriously wanted to take him in, and they might've considered it were it not for the fact that they'd only just moved in together and perhaps weren't ready to take on a child yet. It made me quite sad to hear about some of the terrible things his foster mother said to him though, even in public and in front of the school's teaching staff! :( I do really respect most people who take in another child though, be it out of necessity or more often choice, and I think if I ever want kids I'd rather adopt from baby age.

My uncle and auntie couldn't have kids so adopted a boy inthe 1960's who's now in his 40's. He'd been abused at age three and horribly burned with cigarettes on his bottom and still has the scars. :angry: My daughter's 12 and one of her best friends is adopted. She's just been told by her parents and is fine about it.

Edited January 3, 200817 yr by Crazy Chris

I definately plan to adopt, it's the only way I'm ever gonna have kids I think so yeh I'm all for it.