R&B diva Jamelia in 'Fabulous' magazine.

February 10, 200818 yr

JAMELIA'S PUTTING THE TOUGH TIMES BEHIND HER AS SHE PREPARES TO MARRY THE MAN SHE NEARLY LEFT BEHIND...

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Interview by Louise Gannon

WHEN Cheryl Cole went through the agony of discovering her husband Ashley had betrayed her on a drunken night out, Jamelia, a close friend of Cheryl’s, felt her pain and humiliation.

“I know what she’s been through and I feel for her because I’ve been through that hell,” Jamelia says. “I just hope Cheryl gets through it OK.”

Today 27-year-old Jamelia is wearing an enormous engagement ring and making plans for her wedding to footballer Darren Byfield next year.

But it’s not long since she was on her own after dumping Darren – the father of her youngest daughter, Tiani, two – and telling the world: “I want to be single again.”

There was speculation that their relationship stalled over allegations that Darren had cheated on her.

She shakes her head: “It never happened, and it was certainly not the reason for the split.

"I know he never cheated on me. He wouldn’t. It’s just sad that there are desperate women out there whose mission in life is to sleep with a footballer.

“We’d got to the stage in our relationship where nothing was terribly wrong but I still had questions.

"I needed to end the relationship to find out what it would mean to be without Darren.

“Initially he rang me every day begging me to get back together with him. "I just kept saying: ‘No’, that I needed time and space, but he kept on and on.

"Then he stopped calling me.

Three days passed and I didn’t hear from him. I panicked. I suddenly had a vision of my life without Darren.

"I had to confront the idea that he was gone and that was it. Then I realised I could never be with anyone else and I would never find another man like him.”

She grins: “When he did call, we were back on – and this time it’s forever.”

The marriage proposal came in October when Darren popped the question in front of friends and family at his 31st birthday party.

These are happy times for Jamelia, but she’s had her share of difficulties.

She grew up on a rough Birmingham council estate and her life story, which she is about to write, has all the hallmarks of a misery memoir.

One of her stepbrothers was stabbed to death when he was 15, and one of her half-brothers is behind bars for murdering a teenager in a drug-related gangland drive-by shooting.

Another half-brother was initially linked to the shooting of two young girls outside a New Year’s Eve party in 2003, but was later cleared of all involvement.

Jamelia became involved with her first serious boyfriend, Terry Wallen, and fell pregnant with his daughter, Teja, now six, when she was 20.

Shortly after Teja’s birth, Jamelia enjoyed huge chart success with hits like I Do and Superstar and was nominated for three prestigious Brit Awards.

Yet when she went home at night she was regularly beaten by Wallen, often in front of their baby girl.

When Jamelia finally found the courage to end their relationship, she wrote the song Thank You as an anthem to abused women.

When, at the age of 20, and just months after signing a new record deal, Jamelia found out she was expecting her first child.

She did what she thought was best for both of them and took time out from recording.

She fell pregnant with Tiani soon after her “comeback” in 2005, but once again she firmly put her family first.

“I always take risks but for me, risks pay off.

"When my first relationship broke down, I promised myself I wouldn’t be with anyone unless he was perfect.

"I was single and celibate for three years until I met Darren.

“This is everything for me. It’s the conclusion.

"So much bad stuff has happened in my life, but I believe if you think it’s going to turn out good, while trying to be a decent person, then everything will be OK.”

THE FABULOUS FIVE...

Share a secret about yourself - something we'd never guess. I'm a computer geek. I have a very technical brain. When we moved house and all the electrics went, I fixed them on my own.

What rule do you try to live by? It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

What's your party trick? When I get drunk I can't sing a note. I sound like the worst karaoke contestant you've ever heard.

David Cameron or Gordon Brown? Gordon Brown's more real. I can't get into Cameron. He talks the talk, but I don't think he can walk the walk.

Last supper? Aki, salt fish and corn, and an entire strawberry cheesecake.

Jamelia's autobiography will be released by Orion in the autumn. Her Model Me haircare range is available now in Boots and Toni & Guy salons across the UK