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It's Britannia, bitch

Story filed Wednesday, 12 November 2008

The Britannia High album isn'r half bad. In fact, to move away from fractions and into percentages, it is precisely 58% bad. Mostly bad, you could say, although this also means that almost half of it is good.

 

It's not really like a proper pop album because a proper pop album tends to keep all their good bits within certain songs (usually the first three songs and the sixth or seventh), whereas Britannia High happily revels in songs with terrible intros, terrible first verses, terrible bridges and then AMAZING CHORUSES, or songs with woeful choruses but GREAT MIDDLE EIGHTS.

 

To use an analogy which makes more sense in our heads than it will written down, what we basically have here is an 18 track saucepan full of chicken heads and unidentified liquids which, with a bit of 'reducing down', could have ended up being a nice tasty 10 track soup.

 

It's hard to imagine how this lack of focus has happened, considering how few songwriters were involved with these songs. We mean, they've only roped in...

 

Matt Prime

Bryn Christopher

Elliot Kennedy

Gary Barlow

James Bourne

And...

 

Karen Poole

Jem Godfrey

Martin Terefe

Martin Sutton

Andy Hill

And...

 

Gary Go

Steve Lipson

Nina Woodford

Phil Thornalley

Chris Braide

And...

 

Steve Robson

Christopher Nell

Francis White

Steve Mac

Wayne Hector

And...

 

Mark Owen

Ina Wroldsen

Bill Padley

Sarah Osuji

Hannah Thomson

 

And...

 

Alana Hood

Lucie Silvas

Guy Chambers

 

You've got to admit, that's a pretty impressive selection of (mostly) British songwriting talent, although you also have to remember that most of them, like a lot of other pop songwriters, have spent the last eight years living off the royalties from b-sides to 2001 Top 75 chart non-smashes so when someone comes along and says, "hello, we are putting together a seemingly endless album full of pop stuff, have you got any spare songs knocking around?" the phonecall is probably cut short when the songwriter goes to their demo cupboard, opens it, and is crushed under the weight of eight million unrecorded songs avalanching onto their head.

 

Among our favourite songs on the album - and it's not all quite as jazz hands as the chronic TV show suggests - are 'Weight Of The World', 'Without You', and 'Do It All Over Again'. (Bizarrely, the album seems to have almost been sequenced in reverse with most of the best songs in the later stages.) We also like the 'Changing Man' chorus...

 

...which means that 'Changing Man' is today's Song Of The Day. Anyway the album's going for £7.99 on Amazon so it's probably worth a while if you've got, er, £7.99.

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