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RIGHT, here's how voting goes. There are up to 200 points for grabs here, so this is important (by internet standards).

 

1 - You post your 1st and 2nd favourite tracks in this thread, with a short comment (it doesn't have to be longer than a line or two) about why you liked each one and why it's 1st/2nd etc.

2 - Each team must have 10 voters at the very least otherwise there will be DEDUCTIONS of an undetermined amount. As long as 10 people from your team vote though, all will be fine.

3 - You may NOT vote for your own team's entry.

4 - Only current team members may vote.

5 - Tactical voting is NOT PERMITTED and will be punished if discovered.

 

RIGHT, that's that. Here are the four entries!

 

[The song is designed to have an early 90s cheese-rave feel. Think Marky Mark's "Good Vibrations". The verses are white trash rap, the chorus belted out by a big fat wobbly black diva of the kind Aaron TM would approve. Blue Waffle stands firmly against stereotyping.]

 

SHOUTED INTRO: YO BITCHES LISTEN UP! REGINA! RAGINA! VAGINA! HOE BAGS!

 

BACKING CHANT: Regina?...Regina! Ragina! VAGINA! [the chant starts here, and keeps going throught the entire song, much like the "bum bum bum bum"s in "Good Vibrations"]

 

VERSE 1:

I'm strugglin' to think of a song

So please pass me a bong

To find some inspiration

For our beloved blue waffle nation

I'll chuck in any word to sound spontaneous

So everyone sing along with your friend Alias

 

EXTRA-LOUD CHANT: Regina?... Regina! Ragina! VAGINA!

 

VERSE 1 continues:

The kid who is obsessed with Rated R, the one and only WillR

His rhyming skills are buried six feet under, but he's not a one-hit wonder.

eJackulate haunts the team with his Lena GIF,

Although it's just a picture, her blue waffle still makes a whiff.

But if you're looking for a smell that really does fester,

you'll need to look at Shelli, not Cassidy or Jester

 

 

CHORUS: [enter belting diva]

She got down on a cock

At the time it rocked

Rode it all night then got a bit of a shock

Bruised and infected

Clitorus errected

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

 

 

VERSE 2:

It's time for Chris_2k10 to shine

That's right, its time for his line!

Chris loves a bit of Kylie...

But can't stand Carol Smilie!

Frank, he sure does love a drink

But not as much as he loves P!nk

Our Flop Mod Leader is old fogey Shoat

He just ain't half as good as RabbitFurCoat!

 

EXTRA-LOUD CHANT: Regina?... Regina! Ragina! VAGINA!

 

VERSE 2 continues:

He's a little obsessed is Regina Flowers

He wants to join Brandon when he showers

Common Sense more than understands irony

That username, and buying Thai Brides with money

Shelli Louise Po, such a dirty ho

Blue waffle, and still she just can't say no.

Shelli really fancies old Smegma Jake

She wants his face in her great big blue waffle cake!

 

 

CHORUS:

She got down on a cock

At the time it rocked

Rode it all night then got a bit of a shock

Bruised and infected

Clitorus errected

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

 

 

[The beat suddenly fades, and we have some ethereal synths. This is the serious part.]

 

MIDDLE 8: [sung by a ghostly child choir]

It stings and you find it in your girlfriend's minge

Infact it goes without saying it will make you cringe

Unfortunately the only cure for blue waffle

Is to go out of a bender and visit a high class brothel

 

INSTRUMENTAL: [the beat kicks back into gear, and manic 90s rave piano riff comes into play]

 

DRUM BEAT POETRY: [as performed by guest vocalists CHUMBAWAMBA - the rave beat drops]

The diagnosis looks bleak, Shelli's caught it in her throat

She won't be going back for more with RabbitFurCoat

She suspects he's been around the block

Hence his suspiciously swollen cock

It didn't take her long to move onto Jake

Who seduced him buy putting roofies in his cake

They later got married, what a dream boat

Everyone else is now relieved, especially Shoat

 

RANDOM EUROPEAN FOLK MUSIC PART: [Now an accordion starts up.]

Frankie wat heb je nou gedaan

De hele wafel van Nicky is naar de maan

 

[Normal service is then resumed - back to the cheese beat]

 

FINAL VERSE:

Turning pigeons into wine

Grami sticks it to Jesus everytime

let's get hammered, let's get drunk

and eat blue waffle from Jordan's junk

 

EXTRA-LOUD CHANT: Regina?... Regina! Ragina! VAGINA!

 

FINAL VERSE continues:

Most of Blue Waffle have posted a lot,

Especially Shelli, the team's own spam-bot.

But two members so far gave posting a miss,

MIA members Brett-Butler and 152.chris!

We were gonna throw in a line about Bray,

but we won't because that would be a cliché!

Oh $h!t, looks like we did it anyway,

Whoever let that slip in, they'd better pay!

Uh oh here comes that utter c**t Rooney,

Convincing everyone he's a total looney,

Finally up is Mike Shinoda,

What a bitch to rhyme, 'cos I can only think Yoda!

 

 

CHORUS:

She got down on a cock

At the time it rocked

Rode it all night then got a bit of a shock

Bruised and infected

Clitorus errected

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

 

AD LIB: [sung over and throughout the final chorus by guest rapper B.O.B. Shamelessly lifted from his most recent chart-topping success]

I could really use a new clunj right now, clunj right now, clunj right nowwwwww.

 

REPEAT FINAL CHORUS:

She got down on a cock

At the time it rocked

Rode it all night then got a bit of a shock

Bruised and infected

Clitorus errected

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

 

REPEAT TO FADE

 

END LINE: And that Ren is such a twat.

 

 

Notes: The first and last verse are ballad-like, in a vain similar to Gaga and Bey's 'Telephone'. The song tells the story of a group of friends who started out with nothing and worked their way to the top. The metaphor of performance art is used to make us sound a more interesting bunch than we actually are. hahahehehahaho!

 

I just popped in

To say hello

Don't call my name

Or my cover's blown

I'm in your city

For a show

This life is everything

But it's not perfect, you know...

 

We grew up as the tighest of communities

No oversized egos, we're all equal, see

Wasn't long before we knew that it was meant to be

Didn't need Tyron or Aaron, Adam, Rooney? Please!

We got brains from half of Europe and a token yankie gay

We got mafioso in-house, there ain't nothing you can say

That won't get us working harder, stronger, Kanye DNA

If you ain't us we must apologise, cos this just ain't your day

 

So I'm poppin' in, say hello, au revoir, I gotta go

On the road, got a show, this ain't the perfect life you know

I just graft, and I just hope, I'll see you wave from down below

Said I just graft, so you just roll, and watch the sky cos we gon' blow

Watch the sky cos we gon' blow

 

Remember when we used to scrape the chicken off the bone

Now we're full on Mikal's pasta bake and coming for the throne

Never used to have no dollar, hairbrush was our microphone

Like a cliché from a Hugh Grant romcom, navigate our way with tom-tom

That's how we wound up ready to take gold

Like Cyndi Lauper, had to grab a hold

Won't let go, no

 

I'm poppin' in, say hello, au revoir, I gotta go

On the road, got a show, this ain't the perfect life you know

I just graft, and I just hope, I'll see you wave from down below

Said I just graft, so you just roll, and watch the sky cos we gon' blow

Watch the sky cos we gon' blow

 

Don't be a stranger no, don't you be shy

Drop my PA a line and she'll fit you in my diary

Memo on my blackberry, memories of strawberries

Watching Wimbledon with your great aunt Aubrey

Back when I had the time to kick back

And back when you used to cut me some slack

For having an ambition, embarking on a mission

Grabbing hold of a dream and seeing it to fruition

Any enemy of mine could feature in a car collision

If you're still a friend of mine then you made the right decision

 

And when the day comes for one team to take the crown

There'll be twenty of us standing, sixty of you on the ground

 

We're poppin' in, say hello, au revoir, we gotta go

We're on the road, we got a show, this ain't the perfect life you know

But we just graft, and we just hope, we'll see you wave from down below

Said we just graft, so you just roll, and watch the sky cos we gon' blow

Watch the sky cos we gon' blow

 

This life is everything

But it's not perfect, you know

If this search goes on forever

Bask in our near-perfect glow

 

 

I've taken inspiration from a number of sources: the track as a whole is fairly similar, stylistically, to Diamonds From Sierra Leone by Kanye West - a classy sounding brassy sample (yeah, it is based on that for the chorus but shh) for the chorus, with rapping in the verses - done, ideally, by a Nicki Minaj-esque figure. You have NO IDEA how much I had to channel my inner Da Brat for this. The middle eight is based on Vogue's.

 

-

 

Silk bullets, all I was ever born to be!

Gliding through life with a poise to our flight,

yet not afraid to play dirty!

Silken bullets fly forever!

 

We rockin' Primark with a Gucci thong,

ain't nobody can take our glamour on,

in a leopard skin print we napalmin' Bracknell,

anybody try oppose we make 'em dine on shrapnel,

shoot Questers in the chest say they died of emphysema,

got Toxics so wet the place look Hurricane Katrina,

cos Silk Bullet fierce and Silk Bullet sexy,

maybe that's why motherhoes always trynna sex me

when I let 'em know, when I tell them that I'm a...

 

Silk bullets, all I was ever born to be!

Gliding through life with a poise to our flight,

yet not afraid to play dirty!

Silken bullets fly forever!

 

We throwin' Molotovs into your nurseries, make fillet mignon,

cos Silk Bullets don't hold back when the game is on,

drug Blue Waffle hos, make 'em go the wrong way back,

they open up the lips and put the bin in the cat,

speak of cats, we make Shoat nu Josef Fritzl

when we open up our legs and push forth our schnitzel,

got him goin' downstairs just like a vulture,

we makin' panties out of Bounty to absorb the moisture,

he fell for our, our, our...

 

Silk bullets, all I was ever born to be!

Gliding through life with a poise to our flight,

yet not afraid to play dirty!

Silken bullets fly forever!

 

Getting dollar to bribe up, get our own way,

steal Ann Widdecombe's virginity, sell it on eBay,

we showin' off our dirty pebbles to Naomi Campbell

steal the millions out her purse after the rough 'n' tumble,

cheat accusations fly out like Javine's mammary glands,

plead innocent, we didn't take Alesha's man!

Team up, take down Blue Questers like mmm cha cha cha,

even if it means lettin' Craig at Caz's mmm ta ta tas,

more dangerous than a night with Nadja Benaissa,

don't take us on if you don't want a, head full of...

 

Silk bullets, all I was ever born to be,

gliding through life with a poise to our flight,

yet not afraid to play dirty!

Silken bullets fly forever!

 

[MIDDLE EIGHT]

PuffStaxxx, Heil Tron,

Emily Haines and soft skeleton,

Chris, Mikey, James with P,

Silas insists he's not a queen,

Ghosthunter, Grandwicky,

we're the highest scoring team,

gooddelta and Harve are there,

~ persephauxne ~ has awful hair,

we have glam, we've won the race,

though Cod has yet to show his face,

the other teams rock attitude,

but Pavel's waiting to correct you,

and with Ashford International,

the others will fall before our rule,

get your hands away you rapacious whelks,

or you'll get yourselves bullets not made of silk,

silk.

 

Silk bullets, all I was ever born to be!

Gliding through life with a poise to our flight,

yet not afraid to play dirty!

Silken bullets fly forever!

 

 

(This song is perhaps best imagined as a collaboration of three artists. On the verses and final chorus, someone sounding like and with similar delivery to Wynter Gordon. On the other chorus Rye Rye. Nicki Minaj on rap segment. But that's just a suggestion, interpret is how you will)

 

I see those tuxed up boys,

And dolled up girls.

With their big kids' toys,

And adorned in pearls.

But they stare in vain,

As they want a taste of our Toxic Champagne.

 

[CHORUS]

 

Toxic, we got that champagne flowin'

We're toxic, we'll get'cha mind a'blowin'

coz when we crank the speed

we'll take the lead.

we'll make you bleed

that toxic champagne outta your vein

 

They still lookin' at us, with that look of lust

So let me ask ya, if you're nonplussed

"Whatcha still doing across the floor?"

So they step on over and ask to try

Well they don't know what they're in for,

Cos this is gonna take them hiiiigh

 

Toxic, we got that champagne flowin'

We're toxic, we'll get'cha mind a'blowin'

coz when we crank the speed

we'll take the lead.

we'll make you bleed

that toxic champagne outta your vein

 

[RAP]

 

It's 12:26, we got you wantin' another sip

Cos you know you want our taste on your lips

Don't even try and act like you don't want it bad

We like something you ain't ever had

Like class in a glass, just take your pick

It don't even matter, cos we're all toxic.

 

Toxic, we got that champagne flowin'

We're toxic, we'll get'cha mind a'blowin'

coz when we crank the speed

we'll take the lead.

we'll make you bleed

that toxic champagne outta your vein

 

Toxic, we got that champagne flowin' (yeah we got it flowin')

We're toxic, we'll get'cha mind a'blowin'

Coz y'know, when we crank up the speed,

We're gonna take the lead.

And you're gonna bleed

All that toxic champagne outta your.

 

Vein.

 

Voting lasts for ONE DAY and is to be concluded by 23:59 Thursday 26th August.

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Top Posters In This Topic

My fave is Quest because it seems really genuine and team based. I really like it

 

My second fave is Toxic because it involves alcohol which Im a fan of

1. Toxic Champagne Save the best til last, eh? I imagined the first verse to sound like 'Good Girls Go Bad' by Cobra Starship. The chorus is great too and I like the full song is completely different to the other two.

2. Silk Bullet I really like the chorus and the rap element of the song. Although that middle eight is awful.

Edited by Theo.

JESUS even THEO is using http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/grin.gif.

 

Tirren you were right; it's RUINED FOREVER

The first one was the best. Please give it my full marks.

 

Kath

Edited by Kathyp

3. Blue Waffle I felt embarrassed reading that. The only thing that interested me was the similarity to 'Good Vibrations' (which I only know because of Glee anyway http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/grin.gif).

That makes me feel so old :drama:

  • Author
JESUS even THEO is using http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/grin.gif.

 

Tirren you were right; it's RUINED FOREVER

I'm ALWAYS RIGHT http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif

01. Quest - yeah they've got a nice TEAM feel going on there; and it spreads a POSITIVE not aggressive message.

 

02. Silk - purely for the namecheck.

  • Author
02. Silk - purely for the namecheck.

I CALL TACTICAL VOTE http://members.lycos.co.uk/jodylei/Smilies/david.gif

 

I CALL TACTICAL VOTE http://members.lycos.co.uk/jodylei/Smilies/david.gif

 

EH? Do explain? It would be in my interests to award you NOTHING seeing as you're winning.

  • Author
EH? Do explain? It would be in my interests to award you NOTHING seeing as you're winning.

I was referring to the namecheck being the ONLY reason. We even napalm Bracknell! http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif

 

I was referring to the namecheck being the ONLY reason. We even napalm Bracknell! http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/icons/disco.gif

 

Wycombe's quite close to Bracknell. We'd end up having to take in their refugees.

 

Are you going to have a hissy fit everytime someone fails to give Silk Bullets max marks?

Oh hahaha. You only need top two http://www.moopy.org.uk/forums/images/smilies/grin.gif. I deleted my comment for #3. ^_^
  • Author
Wycombe's quite close to Bracknell. We'd end up having to take in their refugees.

 

Are you going to have a hissy fit everytime someone fails to give Silk Bullets max marks?

Does http://members.lycos.co.uk/jodylei/Smilies/david.gif mean NOTHING to you? :( U BLANDIE

Wycombe's quite close to Bracknell. We'd end up having to take in their refugees.

 

Are you going to have a hissy fit everytime someone fails to give Silk Bullets max marks?

But Bracknell is horrible isn't it? Even if part of it did get used as Privet Drive, Little Whinging

But Bracknell is horrible isn't it? Even if part of it did get used as Privet Drive, Little Whinging

 

Well yes. It's definitely got one of the UGLIEST town centres ever conceived. Napalm could only improve it.

01. Toxic Champagne - Very well laid out lol, and Toxic to me is a Britney song which obviously I love

 

02. Silk Bullet - I like the chorus ^_^ and some good lines in there too, that is all....

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