Yeah wasn't taking a pop at you lol just Robert's description that time kinda amused me :blush:

 

aah glad they turned out well second time :) you are way better at cooking than I am anyways lol I still live on Subway's at lunch and pizza or curry in the evening :blush:

 

Nah it's fine lol they really were a disaster before :lol:

 

It's getting a bit annoying now because my mum and Robert keep asking for them. It's not even pancake day anymore.

 

We've gone a bit off topic here...

Nah it's fine lol they really were a disaster before :lol:

 

It's getting a bit annoying now because my mum and Robert keep asking for them. It's not even pancake day anymore.

 

We've gone a bit off topic here...

 

yeah way since gone, if they keep asking for them that must mean that you are good at making them :)

 

yeah true lol I better make this the last food post or Scott and Mushy will go spare :blush:

Smacking them won't keep them from crime I don't think. If anything it teaches them violence is ok.

Also usually there is trust between a parent + child. If you hit them you'll break that trust. I was hit by my dad and it made me so scared of him, and now I hate him. So what good did smacking do??

I don't understand why any parent would want to physically hurt their child.

 

I was reading once that in some countries they hit the child on the head. That is very dangerous.

That's exactly what happened with my dad -_- (well I also hate him because he basically doesn't care about any of us and says he's 'going out of his way to help me' even when it's simple things like driving me to the train station like dads do :rolleyes: ) However my mum NEVER smacked me and has just always been an excellent mum to me and I've turned out absolutely fine!

 

Kids have tantrums, yes that's because THEY'RE KIDS, I suppose you were all perfect and never had them when you were young, I certainly did and my mum simply said no and when I did something wrong she PUNISHED me and so I learned that there were consequences for doing something wrong and it didn't involve scary the $h!t out of me and hurting me. Controlling a Teenager is different which is the age group of most of the 'troublemakers' in which I could see what a terribly hard job that must be and I would love to see someone attempt to smack a teenage chav :lol:

I completely agree about parent's not being able to say no ... both my parents are teachers and I remember once they were organising a trip and kids were asked to bring their deposit in. SEVEN of the envelopes when they opened them didn't contain money, but notes to the organisers of the trip saying that they didn't want their child to go on the trip, so could they please tell them they'd run out of places and they couldn't go, because they didn't want to say no to their kids. Think that says it all.

 

Also I agree beating the $h!t out of a kid is not acceptable, but there's a difference between abuse and discipline. I know loads of kids who knew when they'd crossed the line because they got a slap. There are only so many warnings before the kid works out that all they get is a warning and it never amounts to anything, and as such realise they can get away with it, because there'll never be any action taken because it's always going to be "I'm warning you...". Empty threats only work for so long.

 

I'd love to think I'd never have to go that far with my kid, because it'd be great to think that my kid showed me and other people enough respect not to go that far. But sadly in todays society, (God, I sound old there don't I??) kid's DON'T show people much respect, because it ain't cool. If I felt the only way left to make sure my kid knew when they'd gone too far was a slap, course I'd do it, and hopefully they've learned it's not on, and won't do it again.

 

Maybe they wouldn't turn into "teenage chav's" if they were taught long before teenage years what's acceptable and what's not.

Edited March 5, 200718 yr by Andrewy

I agree that parental control does not have to be by smacking alone.

 

Many parents now feel unable to even say no to their children (I see this regularly in my job - and then amazed parents ask me how I control their children!)

 

Parents need to be in control - to provide the role models for their children and if the only way to do this is hurt them - or with the fear of hurting them them surely this is giving the wrong message??

 

@Vic - I once smacked my son in a supermarket mid tantrum (it was a corker!) but I am sure my main motivation was to prove to other people in the supermarket that I was doing something - I later discovered stepping over child and walking away worked much faster.

 

I am not against smacking - I was smacked rarely as a child - I have smacked my children but am aware that on many of those occasions was as much to do with my mood as my rational choice of effective punishment.

 

It is possible to provide effective and reinforced boundaries for children with out smacking tho, particularly with older children.

Children need to know there are consequences for their actions and as they get older need to have this knowledge to make more serious decisions where they have to work out the consequences for themselves.

 

(most effective punishment? well popping a 2 day old PSP back in it's box for a week got the desired results - with no repetition of that little misdemeanour)

I don't agree with corporal punishment on school - but then I don't have to cope with a roomful of rebllious, hormonal teenagers.

I had the leather strap in primary school - but I could never use one on the children I teach - I would consider it a severe failing on my part if I couldn't control 5 year olds without hurting them!!!

 

:rolleyes: Thanks for taking the time to make such a thoughtful, balanced post ICR. For me, that was a privilege to read.

 

Maybe they wouldn't turn into "teenage chav's" if they were taught long before teenage years what's acceptable and what's not.

 

Yes they need to be taught right and wrong from a young age.