Supposing ... Sandi Thom is the musical antichrist

 

Charlie Brooker

Friday June 9, 2006

The Guardian

 

 

I've not heard that Sandi Thom single all the way through yet, but I've seen the TV ad about six billion times, and the short, poxy burst on that is more than enough to convince me that if her sudden rise to stardom WASN'T the end result of a shrewd marketing campaign, the implications are terrifying. Because to believe the official story - that thousands of people voluntarily subjected themselves to this $h!t online, then recommended it to their friends - is to lose your faith in mankind completely

 

There's a simple way to settle this once and for all, and that's for the huge crowd of people who apparently watched Thom's inaugural bedsit webcasts to step forward and make themselves known. Come on. Hands up. I want to see your faces. And then I want you smacked to death with brooms. You people are the enemies of fun. Your bland emissions pollute the atmosphere, threaten the environment. For the sake of humanity, you must be stopped.

I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Sandi Thom genuinely touches some people. Whoever they are, I can't relate to them. Woody Allen once marvelled with horror at "the level of a mind that watches wrestling", and I'm the same with Sandi Thom fans. All I hear is that telltale, indefinable something that immediately marks it out as something that's bypassed the soul completely: consumable noise for people who don't like music but know listening to it is "the done thing" - like mutant imposters mimicking the behaviour of humans. I can't relate. It doesn't go. I'm being alienated by the replicants.

 

There's a word for this sort of thing. It's not "art", it's "content". And it's everywhere, measured out by unseen hands, mechanically dangled over the replicants' flapping gobholes; flavourless worms for android hatchlings.

 

Sometimes I can ALMOST see where content is coming from. Take Angels by Robbie Williams. It's a massively popular piece of content, beloved by millions. If I strain really hard, I can just about make out some genuine emotion. Just a speck or two - but enough to make its huge success at least vaguely explicable. Compared with anything that has any semblance of balls whatsoever, Angels is a bowl of cold mud - but next to most content, it's a towering emotional epic. It almost makes you feel something. No wonder it's become the official theme tune for thick people's funerals.

 

Anyway, back to Sandi Thom. As luck would have it, while typing this article, I've just heard I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Bollocks in My Mouth) on the radio, and the real braintwister is the lyric, in which she yearns for a time "when accountants didn't have control and the media couldn't buy your soul". It's a boneheaded plea for authenticity, sung in the most Tupperware tones imaginable: a fake paean to a pre-fake era. It's giving me vertigo.

 

Wait. It gets worse. I've just looked it up on Napster - oh Christ. I didn't realise how far this had gone. The B-side is a cover of No More Heroes by the Stranglers. "Whatever happened to the heroes?", she warbles, knowing full well she's replaced them. She's the musical antichrist.

 

This is too creepy to be mere coincidence. Someone's messing with us. The replicant kings are trying to mangle our minds. Plug your ears. Block the signal. Final phase. They're taking over.

I've just heard I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Bollocks in My Mouth)

:rofl:

 

Wait. It gets worse. I've just looked it up on Napster - oh Christ. I didn't realise how far this had gone. The B-side is a cover of No More Heroes by the Stranglers. "Whatever happened to the heroes?", she warbles, knowing full well she's replaced them. She's the musical antichrist.

 

Oh god, I REALLY hope I never have to hear that... :mellow:

 

And it's funny how NO ONE has come forward saying they have watched her webcasts yet. :rolleyes:

 

Anyway, back to Sandi Thom. As luck would have it, while typing this article, I've just heard I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Bollocks in My Mouth) on the radio

 

LMFAO! at the title change. :rofl:

 

in all fairness im sick of all this Sandi bashing. people are allowed there opinions but sometimes it goes to far

LMFAO! at the title change. :rofl:

 

i like reading his stuff. normally very funny. think he's done a book about tv want to get that. think its something like screenburn

in all fairness im sick of all this Sandi bashing. people are allowed there opinions but sometimes it goes to far

I can't stand her but one single seems too soon for every one to hate her.

 

I know what he means about 'content' albums. Safe albums that people buy because there'll be nothing too offensive on them. Keane, Blunt and now possibly Sandi Thom have a huge portion of their fanbase made of people who only buy a few albums a year. From Sainsbury's.

I know what he means about 'content' albums. Safe albums that people buy because there'll be nothing too offensive on them. Keane, Blunt and now possibly Sandi Thom have a huge portion of their fanbase made of people who only buy a few albums a year. From Sainsbury's.

 

That's a bit rich coming from someone with Diarrhea Carey as his signature and avator! :lol:

 

Anyway, I thought the article was quite well written, but it's all stuff that has been said a trillion times before. Most of the stuff said about Sandi Thom and her c**p song were also said about James Blunt and You're Beautiful last year.

Edited June 17, 200619 yr by ghostwriter

.......... accountants have always run the pop music business.

 

ever since young people formed groups and played their version of rock n roll/blues back in the early 60's business has had a say in it.

 

even the beatles first track was hyped by their manager brian epstein in order to get it noticed. they all sold out, lucrative record deals in order to earn money.

Love this article, and he's so right as well.... It's just a shame that this sh!t is what we have as a result of the success of K T Tunstall.... I'm sure she didn't intend it to happen, and doubtless wishes she'd never ever picked up a guitar now...... :lol:

 

Mind you, I bet that's how Damien Rice feels as well in the face of the steaming pile of poo that is James Blunt....

I can't stand her but one single seems too soon for every one to hate her.

 

I know what he means about 'content' albums. Safe albums that people buy because there'll be nothing too offensive on them. Keane, Blunt and now possibly Sandi Thom have a huge portion of their fanbase made of people who only buy a few albums a year. From Sainsbury's.

 

I second what the other poster said, this is a bit rich coming from a Mariah fan..... :lol: :lol:

 

I don't disagree with your general sentiments, but cack like Mariah is a huge part of the problem you're talking about in your post, I'd rather listen to Keane or Blunty (or even Kylie....) than Mariah any fukkin' day (and believe me, that's saying summat.......).... :lol: :lol:

 

.......... accountants have always run the pop music business.

 

ever since young people formed groups and played their version of rock n roll/blues back in the early 60's business has had a say in it.

 

even the beatles first track was hyped by their manager brian epstein in order to get it noticed. they all sold out, lucrative record deals in order to earn money.

 

You're right mate, depressingly so... :( It's really up to artists themselves to break the mould and refuse the play the game. Happy Mondays did it by a spectacular act of commercial suicide (to say "Yes Please" was a difficult listen after the glorious zeitgeist-creating "Pills, Thrills and Bellyaches" would be an utter understatement, but looking back, I totally understand why they did it...), same with Nirvana and "In Utero" (working with underground punk/industrial maestro Steve Albini to produce a pretty raw and venomous album after the commercial and polished "Nevermind") and Radiohead with "Kid A" (they baulked at the bands and the Britpop scene they had inadvertantly helped create and wanted to get as far away from it as possible, and they've become all the better for it IMO....)...

 

Of course you have artists such as The Cure, Nick Cave, Morrissey, Depeche Mode, Echo and the Bunnymen, Siouxsie, etc, who are in the very enviable position of always being in control of their musical destiny and still having huge, fanatically loyal fanbases....

 

That's a bit rich coming from someone with Diarrhea Carey as his signature and avator! :lol:

 

Anyway, I thought the article was quite well written, but it's all stuff that has been said a trillion times before. Most of the stuff said about Sandi Thom and her c**p song were also said about James Blunt and You're Beautiful last year.

I don't really see the connection between Sandi or Mariah. There's no similarity in chart history, age, nationality or even the genre of their music.

I also don't see what my avatar has to do with my post which does not mention Mariah at all.

 

I said that Sandi was inoffensive. Mariah is not so - most people work into a record shop hating Mariah so I don't think you can say that she appeals to the casual recordbuyer.

 

Every year, a new artist appears making radio-friendly music without swear words and sells a huge amount of albums.

Decent reviews, lots of airplay and usually a Brit Award for their troubles. It happens every year.

These records appeal to people who only buy a few albums a year:

 

Corrs

Travis

David Gray

Norah Jones

KT Tunstall

Katie Melua

Dido

Coldplay

Keane

James Blunt

Corinne Bailey Rae (latest addition)

 

I buy a lot of music so I always find it slightly depressing that most people only own a few albums and that they're always the same ones.

I don't know that many Mariah fans - or at least those who'll admit to it!

Edited June 17, 200619 yr by Tim

Love this article, and he's so right as well....

 

saw his screenburn book in waterstones the other day. having sneeky read. when i get a bit more cash think it one to get!!!

Depeche Mode who are in the very enviable position of always being in control of their musical destiny and still having huge, fanatically loyal fanbases....

 

isnt it Depeche Mode who were the band who for many years didnt have a record deal, just split everything with the record label boss? (think they will have one now they are on an EMI label :lol:)

Every year, a new artist appears making radio-friendly music without swear words and sells a huge amount of albums.

Decent reviews, lots of airplay and usually a Brit Award for their troubles. It happens every year.

These records appeal to people who only buy a few albums a year:

 

James Blunt

 

 

the manager in the office where i work (that is arse about most of the day for peanuts :lol: ) doesnt know much about pop music. very high brow guy, but know that James Blunt has naughty words in the album version. probably the only pop trivia he knows :lol:

I second what the other poster said, this is a bit rich coming from a Mariah fan..... :lol: :lol:

 

I don't disagree with your general sentiments, but cack like Mariah is a huge part of the problem you're talking about in your post, I'd rather listen to Keane or Blunty (or even Kylie....) than Mariah any fukkin' day (and believe me, that's saying summat.......).... :lol: :lol:

Obviously, we have different tastes. No matter.

 

I do think that Mariah has a different fanbase to Sandi Thom and that people who like Mariah must really like her to ignore all the criticism. People have said she's crazy and washed-up and the fans have kept supporting her. For me, that's why people buying her album is different to people picking up Sandi Thom because it's only a tenner, that one song's alright and they're in Tesco's anyway.

 

I think the people who buy Sandi's second album, or even second single, will be equally devoted after all the bad press she's been getting.

the manager in the office where i work (that is arse about most of the day for peanuts :lol: ) doesnt know much about pop music. very high brow guy, but know that James Blunt has naughty words in the album version. probably the only pop trivia he knows :lol:

Oh yes, '****ing high' (i.e. a swearer on drugs) on the album version.

'flying high' (i.e. a hopeless romantic) on the radio edit.

If she was a punk rocker she wouldn't wear a fecking flower in her hair!!!!! :angry: thats bloody hippy c**p.

If she was a punk rocker she wouldn't wear a fecking flower in her hair!!!!! :angry: thats bloody hippy c**p.

 

maybe she just want to squeeze all of pop history from 1967 to the 1997 into one mound and become one big retromonster. reminds me my history lesson is starting on bbc 2 :lol:

This is getting really lame & I'm thinking of closing this inaccurate Sandi Thom bashing thread up.

 

As I've said before the Sandi Thom bashing came as a result of a rival PR company deciding to attack Sandi Thom as a way at getting at Paul McCartney because they are looking after Heather Mills and were doing it to prove to Paul McCartney that they can damage (his 2003 Graduated) LIPA Fame School Academy star pupil so to boost the divorce settlement.

 

However this has backfired badly, as this has galvanised a lot of Beatles Fans who have known of Sandi Thom for quite a few years. She was a regular at the August Liverpool Beatles conventions and a lot of them have seen her webcasts.

 

Not only that, but as a result of this Sandi Thom backlash, it is no coincidence that stories into Heather Mills past have come into the public domain after the Sandi Thom storm, instead of beforehand when Paul & Heather have been separated for a month prior.

 

I have no problem with people disliking her music. But I do have a problem with you falling for what is blatantly a media created backlash, as sadly everyone seems to suffer from the British disease of wanting to knock someone off their pedestal and I regard you as a bunch of suckers for falling for it. Because there are a lot of London & Manchester journalists who are jealous of what Paul McCartney has achieved in his life. And they don't come much bigger or with such a solid reputation as Sir Paul McCartney.

 

Paul McCartney is 64 on Sunday - Music Pupils from the Liverpool Institute Of Performing Arts include (as well as Sandi Thom) members of The Feeling, the Zutons & Automatics. All these acts have had chart success in the last three months.