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TO THE ENTRIES:

 

 

 

BLUE WAFFLE:

 

CHARACTER NAME:

Epiphany Brown

 

 

 

SHOW:

Desperate Housewives

 

 

 

PORTRAYED BY:

Janet Jackson (given even Beverley Knight can claim more chart success than Janet in recent years, she has chosen the inevitable career change)

 

 

 

CHARACTERISTICS:

Epiphany essentially has two characters. Epiphany B.C (Before Corpse-gate) and Epiphany A.D. (After Decencyhasdied). Epiphany B.C. is a loving, womanly stereoptypical African-American woman. She calls everyone "darlin' " or "my child", she has an infectious cackle a la RUSTIE LEE, loves dispensing sage advice, and spends a lot of time hugging people towards her ample bosom.

Epiphany A.D. however is an all-together less pleasant woman. Her sexuality is now open knowledge, and it consumes her. She is driven simply by one of two motives; sex with men, and sex with women. "Darlin' " and "my child" are replaced with "Babycakes" and "Boo". She becomes openly dismissive of the other housewives' need to play Stepford - this brings her into a great deal with conflict with her neighbours. She is not TOTALLY without heart though - she does at one point realise how her behaviour is affecting everyone around her, and she crumbles from guilt. Unfortunately this manifests itself in a drug addiction to ease the pain.

 

 

 

STYLE:

Epiphany's style shifts as her story arc progresses. When she first hits Wisteria Lane, Epiphany B.C is appears as an earth mother - bright and bold colours, tunics, headdresses, bangles and all - think Aretha Franklin in the "A Rose Is Still A Rose" video. Epiphany is short and obese, which adds to this image. She also wears a purple veil over face - this hides the disfigurement expanded upon in the story arc.

After the events of Necro-gate (see Story Arc), Epiphany A.D undergoes character regression; as her former personality emerges once again, so does her rather non-conservative style. She begins to dress as if she is on the game - not being the most intelligent of characters, she believes this is what men want. PVC is a favourite, as are feathers. Little is left to the imagination, which is unfortunate as by this point Epiphany is an obese woman in her late forties. The image at the bottom of the screen is an accurate representation. POOR JANET.

 

 

 

BACKSTORY:

Born and raised in Mississippi, Epiphany Shaniqua Jezebel Brown is the oldest of five children. She lived with her mother and step father until the age of 16, when she was caught in bed with her step dad and chucked out the house. It all started when she arrived early from choir practice at her local gospel church one autumn day; the leaves were crisp, the sun was shining, and Epiphany was horny. She unleashed her naughty side by seducing Roy by using the local mating ritual of covering herself in chicken feathers and dancing round the living room seductively. After 3 months of sneaking around the two were caught by her mum, and as a result she was thrown out of her house. The plot soon thickened however as Epiphany discovered she was pregnant with Roy’s lovechild.

Forced to live out on the streets she soon became addicted to drugs and had to feed this habbit by working the only way she knew how. After a brief stint in the porn industry (apparently being pregnant is a new fetish in the south) she gave birth to a baby girl, Laquisha and quickly adopted. 10 years past and her porn career was back on track, she produced such classics such as ‘Epiphany goes gospel on yo’ ass’, ‘naughty nuns III: back with a vengeance’ and ‘crack whores for cash’. She was introduced to Escobar Nunez, a well renowned drug barren in Colombia and the two quickly hit it off and became an item. She agreed to smuggle in drugs to America in exchange to given starring roles in more porn blockbusters.

However their relationship quickly turned sour when in 1990 after 4 years of drug smuggling she ran off with a large sum of the Colombian Cartel’s money and cocaine, hoping to re-establish a new life in the U.S.

 

 

 

STORY ARC:

On the run from the Colombian drug cartel, Epiphany has a flash of inspiration, and disfigures her own face to provide a cunning disguise, through the medium of botched plastic surgery. However she soon realises what a mistake that was - there are many various fetishes that the porn market can cater for, but alas, disfigured faces are not one of them.

Having no option but to use her stolen drug cartel money, Epiphany buys herself a handsome property on our very own Wisteria Lane. She decides this is the right opportunity for a completely fresh start. She re-markets herself as an African earth mother, and is shocked to soon find she has people willing to befriend her as the people of Wisteria Lane rally around.The four main ladies are, as ever, immediately curious and gossipy. Bree Van Der Kamp finds Epiphany's clothing fussy, Lynette Scavo thinks it's nice to have a little colour around, Gabriella Solis finds inspiration and dresses daugher Juanita in a similar fashion, whilst Susan Delfino is too busy having her 247th breakdown to notice.

Epiphany's life improves again when Katherine Mayfair returns to the Lane. Taking solace in a new face, Katherine immediately latches onto Epiphany, and a strong friendship is formed. Katherine is the first true friend that Epiphany has ever had.

 

Just as Epiphany things that things have finally come together, and she can find some peace, she makes an ill-fated trip to the supermarket, in a mid-season episode named "Family Affair".

 

Episode ''Family Affair'' (TWO-HOUR LONG SPECIAL)

Epiphany is out at the local supermarket doing her weekly shop when her height defeciency enbales her from reaching the top shelf to get her vagisil cream for her new outbreak of herpes. She asks for the help of the shop worker nearby but is stunned to discover it is none other than her old flame Roy, and drops her bucket of fried chicken in UTTER SHOCK. After a brief conversation she hurriedly leaves the store. However Roy investigates things further, only to discover that Epiphany is living on the same street as he and his cougar wife Karen McKluskey.

One day, whilst Epiphany is busy watching the Tyra Banks show and learning to smile with her eyes in the mirror she hears a knock at the door. It is Roy; he wants to know what happened to her and why she looks so different. The conversation gets heated and elevates to the two coming to blows; Roy goes old school on her by using his caine to beat her midget legs but in a tight struggle Epiphany grabs one of Bree's stale old muffins and bludgens Roy to death.

 

Being Desperate Housewives, it simply wouldn't do for the police to be able to do their job and work out who committed the murder; far more interesting that it be one of the housewives. And so it is Karen McClusky who realises the truth - going through her late husband's papers, she realises that he was indeed Epiphany Brown's abusive stepfather. She confronts Epiphany, but alas, Bree has baked Epiphany a fresh batch of stale muffins, one of which finds itself implanted in Karen McClusky's skull.

Just when she thinks she is done with all the drama, Laquisha Jonz knocks on her door...

 

Laquisha enquires if this is Epiphany Brown's residence. Fearing she has been discovered by the drug cartel, Epiphany lies, but she is an appalling liar. Laquisha, knowing full well who she is talking to, begins to ask more probing personal questions. In growing panic and frustration, Epiphany snaps

EPIPHANY "Why do you want to know?....You're not my daughter!"

LAQUISHA (with a sudden flash of Eastenders-in-reverse inspiration): ".....YES I AM!!!!"

Epiphany is stunned to core, but immediately realises that Laquisha is just about the right age for this to be true. They talk, and Epiphany is soon convinced, especially when Laquisha reveals that she was tipped off as to Epiphany's whereabouts by one of her neighbours, a Mr Roy Bender.

 

Epiphany soon sends Laquisha packing with a promise of further contact (she does not mean this of course). Laquisha has failed to notice Karen's body in the kitchen.

Things take a rather sickening turn (this episode is to be broadcast in the early hours of the morning, lest children or old people see!), as Epiphany suffers a mental breakdown as it suddenly strikes her that Laquisha would be a vital link between Epiphany and the murders of Roy Bender and Karen McClusky. However low she has gotten, she will simply not kill her daughter. At a loss as to what to do, she tries to remember a happier time - her first true friendship with Katherine Mayfair. In her absolutely confuddled state, Epiphany can only think to herself that she must become a lesbian like Katherine. And look, there's a (dead) female body lying there! And so it is that Desperate Housewives breaks new ground; necrophilia.

 

With that whopping great social taboo cast aside, Epiphany thinks "f*** IT." and reverts to her past state; $l*t. Any hole is now a goal. She attempts to seduce each and every one of housewives' husbands, but alas unsuccessfully. Epiphany is of course obese, and American TV just isn't ready to think of obese people as sex objects.

She does find one person who is happy to go with a beached whale; Lynette's son, Preston Scavo. This of course, gets RIGHT up angsty Lynette's nose, and so battle lines are drawn. As insults are thrown, and stony glares exchanged, Epiphany stops and takes a look at herself. She is ASHAMED at what she has become. Sadly, she's just too far gone to be redeemed, and instead buries herself in a cocaine habit, anything to ease the pain.

 

In the episode named "Nose Candy", things reach a head, when Epiphany accidentally spills her cocaine into a cake mix that Bree has prepared for the children of Wisteria Lane (she does LOVE being a perfect housewife). The children are not at the age yet where they can turn around and tell Bree her cakes are stale, and they would much prefer Epiphany's special Blue Waffle. And so they eat the cocaine cake.

As the Lane's children all lie in agony in hospital beds, the angry residents turn on Epiphany (the silly woman has not cleared the cocaine powder from around her nostrils, and so it is obvious to all what has happened). At the same time, Laquisha appears. She has tracked down Epiphany's mother, and discovered her father's identity; Roy Bender. Everything falls into place for Laquisha and the other housewives.

Susan then has a sudden brainflash, and remembers phsyically seeing Epiphany killing Karen McClusky through the kitchen window. It turns out Susan was having yet ANOTHER pointless argument with Mike about nothing in particular at the time, and forgot that she was witnessing homicide.

 

The ladies plan to lynch the hapless Epiphany. Unfortunately whilst they dither and exchange muffin recipes, Epiphany flees, says a quick goodbye to Preston (who has become the LOVE OF HER LIFE), and she is never seen again.

 

As is the norm with Desperate Housewives, they all immediately forget about Epiphany, nothing is learnt, and the cycle is repeated again when the next new resident moves into Wisteria Lane next season, hooks up with Preston, has her shameful secrets exposed, and then leaves at the end of the season never to be seen again. And repeat infinitum.

 

 

 

 

 

MEMORABLE LINES:

 

"My blue waffle sh1ts all over your homemade muffins!" - to a scandalised Bree Van Der Kamp

 

"Boo, my roses need pruning!"

 

"Babycakes, my plumbing needs sorting. Could I borrow your spanner?" - to Mike Delfino

 

 

KEY RELATIONSHIPS:

Laquisha Jonz - Epiphany's secret daughter

Roy Bender - Epiphany's step father

Karen McClusky - The corpse of Mrs McClusky is the beginning of the end for Epiphany.

Preston Scarvo - becomes the love of Epiphany's love

Lynette Scarvo - obviously hates Epiphany's guts - who would want their son to shack up with a former pornstar with necrophiliac tendencies!

Katherine Mayfair - She becomes Epiphany's first real friend, at least until Necro-gate.

 

 

 

 

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TO

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TOXIC CHAMPERS:

 

Dragan

 

Mid 40’s

 

Serbian

 

Takes job as consultant gynaecologist at Holby City hospital having previously worked at a leading hospital in the Serbian city of Novi Sad. His introduction to the programme occurs when he is required to carry out a particularly difficult operation on his first day in the job. He is good looking, suave, well spoken, polite, massive hit with the ladies, brilliant at his job. Throughout his first month he suffers from moments of lack of concentration which the viewer sees in momentary segments of film as flashbacks, no longer than a couple of seconds but all feature previous surgical procedures where the context is not clear. This intrigues the viewers and is designed to drum up media interest as to what the flashbacks can signify.

 

Falls for a fellow surgeon (Jac), dream romance at first then he starts acting in a more volatile way and starts beating her regularly, on the body so that bruises will not show in her work place. Flashbacks continue to mirror the scenario by showing momentary glimpses of previous violent acts, again context not clear to the viewer yet.

 

In an evening off while Dragan is working, Jac sees a programme on atrocities in Bosnia. She recognises Dragan through a physical characteristic and to her shock she learns through the programme that her charming generous boyfriend is in fact Ivan Krsic a former commander at the Srebrenica concentration camp and is responsible for thousands of murders, torture and cruel experiments on babies and pregnant women at the camp. The flashbacks that Dragan has are now clear to the viewer as being tortuous memories from his previous life.

 

We also get introduced to Jac’s lost family including her notorious drug dealer brother and see a glimpse into the continuing territorial war between himself and a rival dealer.

 

Jac starts asking Dragan questions which eventually arouse his suspicions. It reminds him of his reason for coming to the UK after he thought one of his patient in Novi Sad had recognised him. After one question too many, he beats Jac even more violently than before. Jac is prepared for this and fights back, eventually managing to scramble free. She makes a run for freedom and reaches the door where she turns the handle to find that Dragan had already locked it and taken the keys. Dragan appears at the end of the hall and advances towards her before killing her at the doorway. The police conclude the murder is part of the ongoing drug war between her brother and a rival group and arrest the rival dealer.

 

Dragan then diverts his attention to another doctor in an attempt to move away from his fatal relationship with Jac and falls for Connie. There is a complication as Connie is already engaged to Oliver. There follows a will she / won’t she story when Connie constantly comes close to breaking off the engagement, particularly as she detects a lack of commitment from Oliver. Connie resembles one of the women he met in Srebrenica. Flashbacks show that he allowed himself to become attached to the girl before being forced to torture her. The resemblance traumatises him even further and he obsesses over Connie thinking it is a chance to correct his one regret. He constantly begs Connie to leave Oliver, explaining that she is the only one who keeps him sane (without her realising what he truly means). She loves the constant attention she gets from Dragan but can’t bring herself to leave Oliver. Eventually Connie goes through with the wedding and Dragan is furious that she has dared to leave him. He plots to ruin the wedding and is seen dropping some poison into a glass of champagne before the toast. The episode ends with off screen screams and the glass smashing as it falls to the floor and us left not knowing who has drunk the toxic champagne.

 

The next episode replays and details Dragan plotting to poison Connie interspersed with him having constant flashbacks to Srebrenica. He becomes confused between his obsession for Connie and her similarities to his past. He eventually realises that he couldn't kill another woman he loves and at the last minute he switches the glass for his own before closing his eyes and downing the contents. The episode ends with Dragan falling in slow motion to the floor while everyone in the room toasts the future of those around him. Cue credits.

 

The part of Dragan will be played by Michael Sheen taking time off from playing the likes of Tony Blair and Brian Clough.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SILK BULLETS:

 

Character Name: Lorelei Hayden

Played By: Lauren Graham

Age: 35

Show: Crime Scene Investigation: New York

Series: 7

Role on Show: CSI Level 3, Assistant Supervisor

Backstory: Lorelei was born in Hartford, Connecticut. She is from a blue blood family and was educated at Yale. She graduated in 2004 with a double first in Forensic Science and took her first posting with Boston P.D. where she gained CSI Level 2 status and made a name for herself in the forensic community as the lead investigator on a serial killing in the Boston area where she used cutting edge technologies to catch the killer. She joined CSI at NYPD as a replacement for the departing Stella Bonasera who is moving to New Orleans. She is a very private person so not much is known about her private life.

Personality/Characteristics: Very stubborn, but in a loveable way. Quirky and very into pop culture references. Is very close with her daughter Emily Rose and has many 'mother-daughter' moments and a dysfunctional relationship with her parents. She has a lively bubbly personality and an energy that's rather infectious, she likes to joke often and has a quirky sense of humour and often makes sarcastic witty comments. Lorelei is completely addicted to coffee and fond of using her gut instinct.

Style/Fashion: Her usual work attire involves a stylish suit and snappy heels. Her favourite suit is a dark grey colour with a mid length skirt, tailored jacket and a while blouse. When she is off the job Lorelei enjoys wearing jeans and t-shirts around the house.

Catchphrase: "Show me the Coffee"

Story Arc: Lorelei arrives in the season opener and her first crime scene is Mac with what appears to be a serial killer. The serial killer arc unfolds through the first 7 episodes of the season and as it unfolds we discover some secrets about Lorelei's past. We discover that the main suspect in the serial killing is Lorelei's former boyfriend in episode 3, and in episode 5 that Lorelei has a 16 year old daughter with the suspect. In the 6th and 7th episodes [which is one of those annoying double ep split over two weeks] Lorelei's daughter Emily Rose is kidnapped by her father as the NYPD close in on him. In the climax of the 7th episode he captures Lorelei as well and holds them both captive in a cupboard in the basement where Marcus [the killer] not only murders his victim but mutilates them in a specific manner. In the final minutes of the episode the NYPD break into Marcus' house and he initiates a fire fight, he is shot by Detective Flack in full view of Lorelei and Emily Rose. Lorelei is absent from the 8th, 9th and 10th episodes as she recovers from PTSDisorder. Following the christmas break Lorelei returns and is more open with her co-workers, she reveals her relationship with Marcus and that by becoming a CSI and joining Boston PC she defied her parents wishes and has been cut off from her family as a result. She has minor character development from the 12th to the 14th episode, in the 15th episode Marcus escapes from prison and kidnaps Emily Rose once more, Emily's body is found off Pier 18. Marcus exacts his revenge by murdering Lorelei in the 17th episode.

 

Episode by Episode breakdown:

 

01: Lorelei arrives at her first crime scene in her favourite suit with her newly pimped out crime scene kit [Rhinestones] the first person from the CSI:NY team to meet Lorelei is CSI Supervisor Detective Mac Taylor. After brief pleasantries at the crime scene tape, Mac takes a backseat 'testing' Lorelei's abilities as an investigator. During the course of her first episode Lorelei is introduced to every member of the team [Danny Messer, Lindsey Monroe, Adam Ross, Syd Hammerback, Sheldon Hawkes, Don Flack] She passes Mac's test and Syd's sneaky test where she manages to guess Cause of death and all the answers to his autopsy questions. Mac and Lorelei can not narrow down a suspect and are called out to a crime scene at the end of the episode and they stand over a body that is nearly identical to the one they've just investigated. They look at each other nod understandingly and exchange a single word 'Serial'

 

02: In the second episode, Lindsey invites Lorelei for coffee in an attempt to get to know her. While Lorelei accepts she reveals very little of herself at her coffee date but does form a friendship with Monroe. Mac and Lorelei continue their investigation into the serial killer together.

 

03: The latest victim of the serial killer looks familiar to Lorelei, she expresses this fact to Mac who asks her to work with Adam and make sure. She decides to start at High School as it's what her gut tells her. She finds the guy she is looking for, he was a member of the high school football team. Adam notices that the other three murder victims are also in the picture. Lorelei sits bolt upright, thanks Adam and bolts out of the room with the year book. She locates Mac and frantically explains how she knew the victim, that Adam had pointed out the other victims and that she thinks the murderer could be her high school boyfriend Marcus Layton. The episode ends there.

 

04: Lorelei teams up with Danny Messer on a bodega robbery that resulted in the death of three customers. They bond over their abnormal childhoods and difficult siblings, this is the most Lorelei has opened up to date.

 

05: In the 5th episode the hunt continues for Marcus after a 5th body is discovered, Mac, Sheldon and Danny work on the serial while Lindsey and Lorelei work their first crime scene together, they work the tragic murder of a child and Lorelei reveals that she has a 16year old daughter and she moved to New York to put her daughter into a good school so she can achieve her aim of getting into Columbia.

 

06: They CSI's get a lead on Marcus and they move in on an abandoned property that Marcus has been staying in, unknown to them at the same time as they swoop in Marcus picks Emily Rose up from her Prep School. When Lorelei realises her daughter is missing she goes into full blown panic mode and is consoled by her fellow co-workers.

 

07: The 7th ep opens with Lorelei and Emily Rose huddled in a closet as NYPD breaks down the door to the basement. We flash back to 5hours earlier to the end of the previous episode. From there we see Lorelei go outside the building to make a panicked phone call to her mother where she is kidnapped by Marcus and joins Emily Rose in a basement. The viewer sees the relationship between mother and daughter and the CSI's/NYPD frantically search for them. The episode ends with NYPD breaking in, Marcus shooting and Detective Flack shoots Marcus in the leg. The episode ends with the camera panning out as mother and daughter thank their rescuers and hug each other in the sunlight.

 

Character misses eps 8, 9 and 10

 

11: The whole team has dinner at Lorelei's where she finally opens up about her past and reveals her true personality to the gang.

 

12: Lorelei and Mac are working up a good routine as Supervisor and Ass. Supervisor, they often discuss on going cases and in this episode debate their favourite jazz artist.

 

13: Lorelei and Sheldon work their first crime scene together after a debutant is found dead in her hotel room. Lorelei reveals she broke her mothers heart by not coming out, but has since made up for it by Emily Rose being presented at the same event the murder victim had attended prior to death.

 

14: Lorelei is out of town visiting colleges with Emily Rose

 

15: Marcus escapes from prison while Lorelei is out of town, when she returns we see Mac's protective side as he insists that a NYPD squad car is at her apartment 24/7. Lorelei works a solo case and very nearly destroys her chances at getting a conviction by forgetting procedure as the news her ex has escaped is consuming her mind. While she is haivng a heated discussion with Mac she receives a phone call from Marcus, and hears her daughter screaming and a gun shot. The ep ends.

 

16: Picking up immediately after the events of 715, 716 sees the body of Emily Rose discovered at Pier 18. Lorelei is distraught and can not focus on anything other than putting Marcus in the ground. She reasons that a man callous enough to murder his own daughter is not deserving of life. The CSI team take it in shifts to watch over Lorelei at her home and comfort her. The episode ends with Marcus breaking in and knocking Lindsey Monroe unconscious.

 

17: 717 focuses on Lorelei and Marcus as she bargins for her life, Lorelei's full past is revealed as they discuss the many good times they once shared. Marcus blames her for the reason his life went so far off track and the reason he was sent to prison. At the end of the episode the screen goes dark and the view hears a single gunshot.

 

18: The CSI's attend the joint funeral of Lorelei and Emily Rose and remember moments they shared including Linds and Lor exchanging terrible two's tips and Syd talking to Lor about the finer points of French cuisine.

 

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QUEST FOR ETERNAL PERFECTION:

 

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Background:

 

Olivia loves her parents and her brothers and sisters but feels disconnected from them, having always been the black sheep of the family. In her twenties she was a good-time girl who partied a lot, and although she had a good job she dismayed her parents by refusing to settle down with a man, whilst her sister was married and pregnant by twenty-five. Later in her twenties she began to grow ever more lonely, and brought an end to her party lifestyle in the hope that she could settle down with somebody, although this proved fruitless.

 

Her history with Roxy:

 

Back in 1999, at the turn of the millenium, Olivia had been dating a university classmate, Harry, for a year. He was the first and only man she had loved. Harry lived across town but Olivia decided to surprise him the evening before new year's. She turned up at his house with champagne and let herself in, and then turned out the lights and waited for him to come home. When he came back he wasn't alone, but with a blonde girl who Olivia recognised as a waitress from a bar they used to frequent. The lights out, they did not notice Olivia sat in the kitchen. Instead they headed straight for the bedroom. Olivia let herself out and the following day she took the champagne bottle, with a bow wrapped around it, to the bar where Roxy worked. She presented it to a confused Roxy and left. There was a card with the bow which read: 'Cheap whores are for life, not just for Christmas. x' Olivia relays this tale to Janine soon after they become friends. She tells her that she's contemplated suicide many times in the intervening years, and thinks she must be unloveable. Janine tells her it was just unfortunate that the only man she's ever loved did not love her back, and that it can only be a matter of time before somebody does, but Olivia is clearly not open to the possibility.

 

How she's introduced:

 

Roxy Mitchell, still being reckless with her inheritance, is donating £5,000 to a homeless shelter and has tipped a local newspaper off about her generous charity. Olivia spots Roxy's face in the paper as she reads the article over breakfast along with a mention of Roxy living in Walford. That morning Olivia arrives in Walford in search of Roxy. In the Vic she hears Jack talking to Peggy about an event at R&R that night which Roxy hopes Peggy will attend. Olivia goes home, glams up, and then returns to Walford in the evening for the R&R event. As Roxy spots her across the room her grin turns to shock and the duff duffs come crashing in.

 

What happens next:

 

Roxy avoids speaking to Olivia. Janine Butcher overhears Roxy talking to Ronnie about Olivia, and decides to befriend Olivia as a means of finding out what happened between them, and also to be a devious cow in the way that only Janine can. Janine and Olivia gradually become close friends. After a very public argument with Ryan, Janine is feeling humiliated, and Olivia barges into Ryan's flat and gives him hell. Later that day he apologises to Janine and they make up. Janine realises she's made her first proper friendship in as long as she can remember. Olivia takes a job as a chef at an upscale restaurant in the next town across from Walford and uses it as an excuse to move onto the Square. She's surprised but ecstatic when she realises the flat she's renting is next door to Roxy's. Janine asks Olivia whether she intends on getting revenge on Roxy and is thrilled when Olivia admits that she does. Together they decide that a social downfall is exactly what is required for the popular Mitchell.

 

Living next door to Olivia, Roxy frequently bumps into her. She attempts to be polite and make amends but Olivia isn't interested. After a while Roxy reaches the end of her politeness quota and begins being hostile towards Olivia. Janine witnesses this and tells Olivia that to socially disgrace Roxy isn't revenge enough; they should find a way to bleed her out of her inherited fortune. Olivia agrees. They keep the plan secret from everybody, including Ryan. One night Olivia is just about to go out to meet Janine when she hears Roxy and Ronnie in the corridor outside. Roxy is sobbing. Olivia overhears Ronnie telling Roxy that she might've loved him but it was a long time ago; Olivia is curious. She knocks on the door of Roxy's flat and Roxy invites her in, asking if she's okay. Olivia is confused. Roxy shows her the cover of that day's newspaper - Harry has been stabbed by youths whilst walking down the street and died after a short spell in intensive care. Olivia breaks down in tears.

 

The next day Olivia meets Janine, who wants to know why she was stood up the previous night. Olivia explains about Harry and tells Janine that she and Roxy are putting the past behind them. Olivia assures Janine that this isn't the end of their friendship but Janine is evidently disappointed. Olivia spends more time with Roxy. As they return from a shopping spree in central London one evening they pass a restaurant which is for sale. Olivia expresses interest, telling Roxy it's her dream to own her own restaurant, but Roxy is keen for them not to linger. That night Olivia looks the restaurant up on the estate agent's website. The next day she visits her bank to see whether or not she could raise the funds to put in a bid. She's overjoyed to realise that she can afford to bid on the restaurant, but as she visits the estate agent she is told that the property was sold that day. She's gutted. That evening Alfie's cousin Michael begins flirting with Olivia in the Vic. Although she doesn't fancy him she allows him to take her back to his place, and doesn't leave until the morning.

 

Two weeks later Olivia spots a flyer for the reopening of the restaurant, which is now themed as a Western-style saloon. She attends the opening and comments to Roxy, as the crowd awaits a speech from the new owner, that it's incredibly tacky and she could've done a much better job. She's shocked and angered when the owner comes out to give a speech and is revealed to be... Roxy! Roxy tries to assure Olivia that she had almost finalised the sale when Olivia first expressed interest in buying it but Olivia sees it as a betrayal. Nonetheless, she tells Roxy it's fine and apologises for the 'tacky' comment but once Roxy is out of earshot, phones Janine to tell her that the plan is firmly back on. In the meantime she begins dating Michael, who seems to be enamoured with her and wants to go public with their relationship. She assures him that they will, soon.

 

A private investigator begins following Olivia and Michael, photographing them kissing outside R&R and then heading into Olivia's flat together. Olivia goes around to Roxy's for drinks one evening. As Roxy boasts about the success of the restaurant, Olivia slips a parcel into a drawer in the lounge. Later that night they, together with Michael, Ronnie, Jack, Max, Vanessa and co go for drinks at the Vic. Olivia tells the group that she and Michael are an item. A drunk Roxy congratulates them before loudly exclaiming that she'd had her eye on Michael for a long time and was wondering why he had never reciprocated her flirting. That evening they go back to Olivia's flat where she tells Roxy to make herself a sandwich as a means of sobering up. After Roxy has left, Olivia phones Janine to say that the plan is in place. She then texts Michael to say 'it's been fun' - he assumes she meant their night out and thinks nothing of it.

 

The following day there is a knock on Roxy's door; it's the police. She screams as she finds out Olivia was stabbed to death in her flat last night. The police question her and she can't think of a reason that anybody would want to kill Olivia, but after they question the rest of the group from the Vic the previous night, they learn from Vanessa that Roxy had been making a scene, loudly telling everybody that she fancied Michael. When Vanessa also tells them that Roxy had gone back to Olivia's flat with her after the pub closed, they barge into Roxy's flat with a warrant to search it. They find the photos of Olivia with Michael, taken by the investigator who Olivia herself had hired, and arrest Roxy. They take her prints and assume it's a simple case of murder after finding that they match with the prints on the knife used to kill Olivia - the knife Roxy had used to make her sandwich. That day a letter arrives for Janine in the post - it's a suicide note from Olivia, explaining that she's battled with depression and self-loathing all of her life and knew she could never be loved from a young age. She thanks Janine for being a good friend and confesses the truth about her 'murder', and how it had been her plan all along but she didn't want to risk telling Janine because she didn't want to be talked out of it. Janine burns the letter.

 

The outcome:

 

Ronnie pays Roxy's bail but Roxy tells Ronnie that she can't spend ten years or longer inside whilst baby Amy grows up without a mother. Ronnie begs that she doesn't do anything stupid, but when she wakes in the morning she finds Roxy and Amy gone. We see Roxy one final time - she has dyed her hair black overnight and chopped it to half-length in a bid to get through the airport unnoticed. It works. She and Amy flea the country.

 

 

Do we have to vote

Yes.

Can I vote for Blue Waffle

Im really confused, Im such a clutz

Can I vote for Blue Waffle

 

We are not allowed to vote for our own teams Shelli :teresa:

Awww damn. Well ill have to read the others carefully

 

whichever one makes me laugh ill vote for

Quit spamming Shelli or I'll deduct points from your team BECAUSE I CAN.

 

And just voting on what makes you laugh is a bit ridiculous, no?

Best: Blue Waffle

2nd: Quest For Eternal Perfection

3rd: Toxic Champagne

f off Jark, in todays age and society I feel I find anything which makes me laugh gets points. K?

Edited August 30, 201014 yr by Shelli Louise Po

Quit spamming Shelli or I'll deduct points from your team BECAUSE I CAN.

 

And just voting on what makes you laugh is a bit ridiculous, no?

 

There's no rule saying she CAN'T vote for what makes her laugh no?

 

Everyone has different ideas of what entertains them, and this task was essentially to create a character for an ENTERTAINMENT show, no?

 

And yes Shelli, calm down love. You do need to vote, but not for Blue Waffle.

Sorry for saying F off, I didnt mean too. I shall read them now and decide and be back to everyone in 10 minutes

Fave- Silk Bullet. I like the episode by episode thing

2nd- Quest- OK but a bit too serious

3rd- Toxic- No background

There's no rule saying she CAN'T vote for what makes her laugh no?

 

Everyone has different ideas of what entertains them, and this task was essentially to create a character for an ENTERTAINMENT show, no?

Did I say that was a rule? I just thought it was a bit ridiculous given that your team's entry was the ONLY largely comedic one.

 

And by that rule can only comedies be entertainment? Are soaps not entertainment 90% of the time? Is a serious drama not entertainment?

 

I love your team's entry Adam but this whole snobby thing you all have going on about everything that's not comedic being auto-inferior is pretty annoying. If it HAD to be comedic I would've put that in the rules when I decided on the bloody task and thus I think marking people down for not being comedic is silly. THAT IS ALL.

What team are you Jark?

YAY, an argument. This is now just like the real Eastenders thread.

 

Oh and it looks like everyone took this task much more seriously than I had expected them to. :D

*sigh*

*sigh*

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh does this mean i finally have an Ally in the calling for the removal of the troll???

Oh I see its Quest! Sorry. I did find yours fairly decent but Im not too much of a fan of EE so I put the other one above it

1. blue waffle - i know that i'd love her especially how she's gonna turn out in the end and the fact that she's played by janet jackson

2. quest for eternal perfection - you can tell they've put a lot of effort into it!

3. silk bullets

 

btw someone from silk bullet, was that woman in the picture in scary movie? the one with strong hand in..? if not she WELL reminds me of her!