Week 2 was PREDICTABLE AS EVER with vag reigning supreme (with a token cock in the form of David Lindgren, and I'm NOT just on about the gender ~), with Timoteij and Dave heading direkt till Bracknell and Sonja and Mimi slumming it in andra chansen in Bury St. Edmunds. Perhaps this week can be more interesting?

 

In real life this heat saw a result fairly acceptable to Buzzjack hearts, with Molly and Sara (+ Björn :manson:) going direkt till Globen and the old plagiarist Andreas consigned to AC along with wholly innocent teenage friends of Kempe. But we ALL know we could rather do with LESS Andreas than MORE so let's redo these results, shall we?

 

This week's contest is hosted in CLACTON-ON-SEA. Drink in the GLAMOUR

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/13/Clacton-on-sea.jpg/240px-Clacton-on-sea.jpg

 

http://svt.se/svts/article3138.svt/ALTERNATES/large/Youngblood.jpg

 

01 Youngblood - 'Youngblood'

Text och Musik - Fredrik Kempe and David Kreuger

 

God, at least TWO of those have got distinct 'special time with Kempe' consequences-face. You win a prize if you can guess which two. Anyway, to the delight of the ephebophiles amongst us (and myself, as a Kempephile and NOTHING MORE) this shameless Manboy rip-off made it to AC, but can these boys selected purely for their vocal and choreographic talents (AHEM) make it to Bury St. Edmunds in Buzzjack hearts?

 

http://svt.se/svts/article3164.svt/ALTERNATES/large/Maria%20BenHajji.jpg

 

02 Maria BenHajji - I mina drömmar

Text och Musik - Nanna Sveinsdóttir and Thomas Cars

 

Maria BenHajji served as a wonderful advert for the continuing success of SVT's webjoker, which in the last three contests has been credited by Keith Mills as having 'saved Melodifestivalen from being 2 hours of just generic schlager and tuneless trash', but unfortunately couldn't make it any further than 8th despite buying all the candles in the greater Leksand area. Any hope of 7th for what is a Portuguese entry in all but name?

 

http://svt.se/svts/article3321.svt/ALTERNATES/large/Mattias%20Andreasson1.jpg

 

03 Mattias Andréasson - 'Förlåt mig'

Text och Musik - Mattias Andréasson

 

Poor sexy Mattias :( With reams of photographic evidence suggesting he comforted himself after his loss in the time-honoured fashion by resorting to a bit of backstage homosexuality, the ex-E.M.D. member's wordy R&B groove should hopefully be a bit more appealing to Buzzjack than Sweden. Förlåt honom (with a place in Bracknell)?

 

http://svt.se/svts/article3163.svt/ALTERNATES/large/Love%20Generation.jpg

 

04 Love Generation - 'Just A Little Bit'

Text och Musik - RedOne, John Mamann, Jean-Claude Sindres, Teddy Sky, Yohanna Simon and Bilal 'The Chef' Hajji

 

Last year RedOne's charity cases Love Generation tried to make it to the final by scrambling about in the producer's offcuts box marked 'Jennifer Lopez', and only just failed with everything conspiring against them. They probably knew what was facing them when RedOne told them they could only go in the 'Nicole Scherzinger' offcuts box this year after red haired one went off to become the new Hairlip off Pussycat Dolls. Rejected by Sweden, probably rejected by RedOne, likely facing a career using zebra-print camel toes to entice prospective customers on Malmskillnadgatan (Google image it IF U DARE), can Buzzjack bring them back from the brink and give them the chance to sell their wares in Bracknell?

 

http://svt.se/svts/article3325.svt/ALTERNATES/large/Carolina%20Wallin%20Perez2.jpg

 

05 Carolina Wallin Pérez - 'Sanningen'

Text och Musik - Martin Bjaelke, Michael Clauss and Carolina Wallin Pérez

 

This poor bitch went over everyone's heads with her genre-defying little number which borrowed the incongruous drummers from that Kelly Clarkson X Factor performance last year and duly finished 7th. Can Buzzjack even remember her?

 

http://svt.se/svts/article3324.svt/ALTERNATES/large/Andreas%20Johnson2.jpg

 

06 Andreas Johnson - 'Lovelight'

Text och Musik - Andreas Johnson and Peter Kvint

 

Oh not THIS CUNT AGAIN. Fresh from his seventh failure last time he's back with fucking KVINT with an ode to the measures he has to take to get his end off now even his wife's too repulsed to spend any time with him (to the tune of Suede - Beautiful Ones). Failing to recognise that what Sweden (and indeed the world) really wants if he's going to INSIST on turning up again is a rip-off of himself (namely Glorious) rather than shit Britpop, he was chucked into AC. Does he have any hope of making it above 8th here?

 

http://svt.se/svts/article3169.svt/ALTERNATES/large/Molly%20Sand%C3%A9n.jpg

 

07 Molly Sandén - 'Why Am I Crying'

Text och Musik - Aleena Gibson, Molly Sandén and Windy Wagner

 

Freshly ditched by general life icon Eric Saade, old Mol knew there was a career opportunity waiting in the wings and immediately got on the phone to Christer and Empty Room's people before she even had a chance to finish wiping the tears with Eric's dirty laundry (currently on eBay so Molly could pay a deposit on the blood money she had to pay Sanna for taking her comeback track pencilled in for 2014; top bidder thus far 'silas89', £80.42), and how RIGHT SHE WAS. Getting her Bridget Jones on live onstage in Leksand made everyone remember why they kind of liked this top tier basic bitch back in oh nine and a Globen ticket was hers for the taking - will Bracknell be as easy?

 

http://svt.se/svts/article3328.svt/ALTERNATES/large/Ranelid2.jpg

 

08 Björn Ranelid feat. Sara Li - 'Mirakel'

Text och Musik - Fredrik Andersson and Björn Ranelid

 

UGH. Script for this one: ex-Caracola lady Sara comes up with popperstastic high-NRG schlager-dance anthem, is aware will almost certainly finish 7th with a bullet without extra gimmick (The Attic left waiting by phone); somehow bumps into lovechild of David Dickinson and religious loon dancing poet crab scrotum (goes by name of Björn), has moment of sudden inspiration to let strange old man using barely concealed handkerchief code to get action backstage whinge during the verses and pass it off as 'gimmick'; gimmick succeeds and smashes dreams of five pubescent males of average appearance, exhausted old cock-rocker, and ex-boy band member of uncertain wishful sexual orientation in the process; will likely fail miserably in final to chagrin of all over why it's there in the first place (hit taken out by Kempe, but only after mysterious rendezvous with Ranelid in Globen men's toilets). Can the script be followed as accurately here? (Only substitute 'Bracknell Community Hospital Theatre' for Globen)

 

(And DISCLAIMER before John starts predictably whinging to score points, yes I have used almost exactly the same write-up that I did for Moopyfestivalen heat three. DEAL WITH IT, I was not about to write another.)

 

The entrants in text format:

 

Youngblood - Youngblood

Maria BenHajji - I mina drömmar

Mattias Andréasson - Förlåt mig

Love Generation - Just A Little Bit

Carolina Wallin Pérez - Sanningen

Andreas Johnson - Lovelight

Molly Sandén - Why Am I Crying?

Björn Ranelid feat. Sara Li - Mirakel

 

PM votes to me in the following format

 

12

10

08

06

04

02

 

Voting closes at 16.00 on SATURDAY 10TH MARCH and is sent to ME (Sveriloquy) by PM. Anybody in need of a word with Brister Chjörkman should visit Mediafire with the suffix ?qy0z73rs90411p0. GO

 

VOTED

 

Sveriloquy

Johnkm

randomfurlong

Alexxandro

VOTED

 

This heat features 2 of my top 3 of the year, although I have a very strong feeling one of them will come 5th.

voted

 

This is my favourite heat so many good songs. Mirakel FTW :wub:

Haha I was just about to moan about how bad this heat is. Beyond my top three it is BARREN. And even two of those are tier two songs overall.

03 Mattias Andréasson - 'Förlåt mig'

Text och Musik - Mattias Andréasson

 

Poor sexy Mattias :( With reams of photographic evidence suggesting he comforted himself after his loss in the time-honoured fashion by resorting to a bit of backstage homosexuality, the ex-E.M.D. member's wordy R&B groove should hopefully be a bit more appealing to Buzzjack than Sweden. Förlåt honom (with a place in Bracknell)?

 

Is that the picture of him kissing the hairdresser?

Of course!

Haha I was just about to moan about how bad this heat is. Beyond my top three it is BARREN. And even two of those are tier two songs overall.

For me this heat is really balanced. I can't name a song which I hate or really don't like. Based on my rankings (which I posted in the MF AC/final thread) this is the best semi:

 

2. Björn Ranelid/Sara Li - Mirakel

8. Molly Sanden - Why Am I Crying?

10. Love Generation - Just A Little Bit

15. Mattias Andréasson - Forlat Mig

16. Youngblood - Youngblood

19. Carolina Wallin Pérez - Sanningen

21. Andreas Johnson - Lovelight

23. Maria BenHajji - I mina drömmar

 

2+8+10+15+16+19+21+23=114

 

while the other heats:

 

Heat1: 136

Heat2: 123

Heat4: 155

 

I don't say that the best songs of this year's MF are here but it's quite good :D

I'd rank the heats:

 

Heat 3 (it's the only heat to contain nothing completely abysmal - I dislike Lovelight but that's as much down to Andreas)

Heat 4

Heat 2

Heat 1

Where has this Andreas Johnson hate all suddenly sprung from this year, I thought Silas was the only one that hated him with a passion!?! Whatever, I'll fly the Lovelight flag all by myself :drama: As much as he nicks the production and hooks from Suede's Beautiful Ones, it's probably melodically more similar to Robbie Williams' Strong.

 

Anyhow, I like this semi, there are four songs that I love, two that I like and two that went in one ear and out the other. Nothing I hate though.

Great heat. Only one song I hate. :o

MORE VOTES PLEASE

Voted! ^_^

I meant to vote for this.

You still can, I've left it open until tomorrow as I'm still getting votes.

Where has this Andreas Johnson hate all suddenly sprung from this year, I thought Silas was the only one that hated him with a passion!?! Whatever, I'll fly the Lovelight flag all by myself :drama: As much as he nicks the production and hooks from Suede's Beautiful Ones, it's probably melodically more similar to Robbie Williams' Strong.

 

Indeed, I have much love for this song. And the moment I find a download link for it, it will be getting it's potentially it's first (and only) play on UK radio.

And as an added bonus, here's a Suede song that sounds a bit like 'Strong' by Robbie Williams:

 

Jag har röstat just nu!!

And as an added bonus, here's a Suede song that sounds a bit like 'Strong' by Robbie Williams:

 

 

Helpful :lol:

 

Anyway votéd.

 

Also I need those Mattias photos :kink:

Can we have this tonight? :kink:

Ha, with Jerick having now voted I've got basically everyone's votes who I should have, so I'll probably do this tomorrow! Now that we're about to head into the no man's land between song confirmation and the contest itself I'm going to slow this down a bit so we have something to fill the time in here...I might do a few retrospective Buzzfestivalens too if there's any interest!