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Gezza, have you got any more threads lined up after this one, just out of curiosity? You're doing a great job with every one!

Why, thanks very much, there is a little treat for you before year end

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NEVER REALLY WAS- MARIO WINANS

 

http://www.12inch.de/l/28536.jpg

 

PEAK POSITION: 44

SALES: 5K

FOLLOW UP TO: I DON'T WANNA KNOW

 

So after looting the back catalogue of Enya for his No 1 “I Don’t Wanna Know” it was the turn of Winans to “appropriate” as they say Madonna who surprisingly allowed him to use “Papa Don’t Preach” to no great effect or purpose and indeed doesn’t really fit the song either.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: DON’T RELEASE A MESS OF A TRACK AS A FOLLOW UP

 

 

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IN MY LIFE- OZZY OSBOURNE

 

http://991.com/newGallery/Ozzy-Osbourne-In-My-Life-340916.jpg

 

PEAK POSITION: 63

SALES: 4K

FOLLOW UP TO: CHANGES

 

Wet, wet, wet, Joe Cocker, Elton John, Shirley Bassey, and a few others can bear testament to the fact that covering a Beatles track can result in a big hit but that magic touch deserted Osbourne when he picked this song from the album “Rubber Soul” to do the business. Even a touching video filled with home footage couldn’t tug on our purse strings.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: SEEMS YOU CAN’T EVEN RELY ON LENNON/ MCCARTNEY

 

 

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PASO (THE NINI ANTHEM)- SAK NOEL

 

http://www.livingelectro.com/files/images/s/53338/paso-the-nini-anthem-extended-mix_large.jpg

 

PEAK POSITION: 158

SALES: 3.4K

FOLLOW UP TO: LOCA PEOPLE

 

After providing one of last year’s genuine WTF moments when he snatched a No 1 from the jaws of Maroon 5, the follow up proved troublesome not even bothering the top 100. More of the same from Noel and perhaps too close to his first track musically without the swearing to garner promotion.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: MORE SWEARING IN THE TRACK AND MAYBE SOME NUDE GIRLS COULD HAVE SAVED THIS

 

 

Mario Winans - Indeed a mess of a track, but I didn't ike "I don't wanna know" either

 

"In my life" - great song, sadly underappreciated. Talented man Ozzy Osbourne is.

 

I knew the Sak Noel track would be in there.....it was just the same as "Loca People" - perhaps something like "Johnny, why didn't use the Johnny" or "Johnny f my c you f barsteward" would have worked :lol: However, swearing wouldn't even save a carbon copy of your previous track.

I didn't know that Paso went as high as #158 until now :lol: I do like it but I never expected it to be a hit, and I was right.
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SPIT YOUR GAME- NOTORIOUS B.I.G

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/2/2d/Spityourgame.jpg/220px-Spityourgame.jpg

 

PEAK POSITION: 64

SALES: 3K

FOLLOW UP TO: NASTY GIRL

 

Actually Sak Noel I take that big- this is littered with obscenities and it didn’t save it from flopping. I deny anyone to find a tune in this or indeed any worth- go on try....

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: JUST SWEARING IN A SONG WITH NO HOOK DESERVES TO FAIL

 

 

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UNDERCOVER- PARTNERS IN KRYME

 

http://chartarchive.org/artwork/50613-300.jpg

 

PEAK POSITION: 92

SALES: 3K

FOLLOW UP TO: TURTLE POWER

 

Only real one string to their bow and that was doing the theme tune to a film about 1990’s kids craze “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and beyond that trying to create some kind of career in music after a novelty hit is almost always an EPIC FAIL.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: WANT A CAREER IN MUSIC? MAKE SURE YOU’RE FIRST HIT ISN’T A FROM A KIDS TV SHOW

 

Sorry I can't even find this video anywhere on the net!!

 

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HUCKELBERRY JAM- DOOP

 

http://ring.cdandlp.com/bluefunk95/photo_grande/103583857.jpg

 

PEAK POSITION: 95

SALES: 2.5K

FOLLOW UP TO: DOOP

 

“Doop” was fun for about a fortnight back in 1994, that didn’t mean they needed to follow it up with more “offerings”. Thankfully the record buyers of the day thought likewise.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: SOME JOKES START OUT THIN.

 

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I have 11 songs left that didn't chart in the top 75 and I'm not sure if they charted in the top 200 or not so I've given them all minimal sales!

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: WANT A CAREER IN MUSIC? MAKE SURE YOU’RE FIRST HIT ISN’T A FROM A KIDS TV SHOW

 

So true!

 

And Huckleberry Jam!

 

I actually own that song.

Edited by SKOB

Nizlopi are surely coming up.

 

So is Bob The Builder :lol: Can't remember if we've had him yet?

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BIG FISH LITTLE FISH- Bob The Builder

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/10/Bob_the_Builder_-_Big_Fish_Little_Fish.jpg

 

PEAK POSITION: 81

SALES: 2.3K

FOLLOW UP TO: MAMBO NO 5

 

Proving that the curse of following up "Mambo No 5" not only applied to Lou Bega, this attempt was 7 years in the making for Bob who had lost a considerable amount of his "fanbase" if this is anything to judge by.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: CLEARLY RELEASED FOR THE XMAS MARKET, IT APPEARS THERE WAS NO AMOUNT OF ALCOHOL THAT WOULD MAKE THIS LOOK LIKE A GOOD IDEA

 

  • Author

LE BUMP- YOLANDA BE COOL

 

http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/70175256/Le%20Bump%20Yolanda%20Be%20Cool%202011.png

 

PEAK POSITION: DNC (Did Not Chart)

SALES: 2.1K

FOLLOW UP TO: WE NO SPEAK AMERICANO

 

Well first up, yay for bringing back Crystal Waters from the dead on vocals here, otherwise it isn’t as memorable (or annoying depending on your taste) as its predecessor but other than that it’s business as usual for Yolanda.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: SEE DOOP

 

 

I'm surprised Big Fish Little Fish didn't do better tbh, as I heard it a lot at parties at the time and still today! It's probably just as popular Can We Fix It!
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ROLL ON- KID ROCK

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5d/Roll_On_Kid_Rock.jpg

 

PEAK POSITION: DID NOT CHART

SALES: 1.5K

FOLLOW UP TO: ALL SUMMER LONG

 

We’re into unknown territory now with these tracks in terms of chart peaks and sales to be honest as they did so BADLY. So the final 11 tracks are masterclasses in how NOT to follow up a No 1, the fact that I’m hearing a lot of songs for the first time ever should say something. I was never a fan of “All Summer Long” so I won’t grieve that this didn’t do anything in the UK charts though apparently it did well in Germany.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: WHEN YOUR CLAIM TO FAME IS ONCE BEING MARRIED TO PAMELA ANDERSON PERHAPS THE MUSIC CAREER HASN’T BEEN AN OUTRIGHT SUCCESS

 

VANILLA TWILIGHT- OWL CITY

 

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0e/Vanilla_twilight.jpg/220px-Vanilla_twilight.jpg

 

PEAK POSITION: 94

SALES: 7K

FOLLOW UP TO: FIREFLIES

 

Ah was there anyone around in early 2010 who didn’t like “Fireflies”? (OK I’m asking for a barrage of posts saying yes I know) and here’s the equally cutesy follow up which is quite endearing though nowhere near as radio friendly. It does however have the honour of being the highest place track on this rundown not to make the top 75.

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: HAVE NO FEAR IN THREE YEARS FLO RIDA WILL BE SAMPLING THIS INTO THE TOP 10.

 

 

And the excellent Umbrella Beach only made to #110. (Ad I think that it's most likely to be sampled by Flo-Rida than Vanilla Twilight)

 

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box is such an annoying song! :puke:

 

Le Bump was a very poor follow up for Yolanda Be Cool :(

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