The Suedehead Chart Commentary

Posted April 12, 200916 yr

Thanks to everyone who commented on last week's effort. I assume Ethan's more informative commentary will be posted later but here's the alternative view.

It’s one out of two for Lady GaGa as she falls from the summit of the singles chart but holds on in the albums.

After three weeks on top – the same as Just Dance – Lady GaGa is toppled from the top of the singles chart this week, falling to number two. Poker Face thus becomes the first single to relinquish the number one spot before the physical release. Replacing her is Calvin Harris who scores his first solo number one with I’m Not Alone even though he is. Alone that is. He previously featured on Dizzee Rascal’s Dance Wiv Me last year when he wasn’t alone.

The second highest new entry is also the worst. Love Sex Magic by Ciara featuring Justin Timberlake is new at number six. Let’s face it, I was never likely to think this was any good. However, I wasn’t prepared for it to be quite as ghastly as it is. Ciara also features on Enrique Iglesias’ Takin’ Back My Love which climbs three places to 13 and is slightly (but only slightly) less awful.

The good news is that TI feat Justin Timberlake (so it’s one in, one out for him) and Akon both leave the top ten. That gives us a top ten with just one appalling song (Ciara), one pretty awful effort (Flo Rida) and eight varying from OK to fairly good. The big surprise is that two of those which rate as fairly good are from Pussycat Dolls (with A R Rahman still at three) and – even more surprisingly – Beyoncé (down two to seven).

On 15 April 1989 I was preparing for what was then my usual Saturday afternoon routine – play some music while following the football scores on Ceefax. On the day I was a little late in switching the television on. By the time I did switch on, the BBC had their first report from Hillsborough to say that the match had been stopped after just six minutes. As the afternoon went on, the true scale of the catastrophe unfolding in Sheffield became steadily clearer. By the end of the day, nearly one hundred Liverpool supporters were dead. I don’t think anyone watching Grandstand on that day will ever forget the sense of horror as the events unfolded on screen. To mark the 20th anniversary of the biggest disaster in British sporting history, a charity record has been released under the name The Liverpool Collective featuring The Kop Choir. The use of the term Kop Choir is especially poignant as the Hillsborough disaster led directly to the removal of terracing at the famous Kop End at Anfield. The Liverpool Collective is a combination of singers from Liverpool bands and ex-players. The song, Fields of Anfield Road enters at 16. Anyone who is too young to remember the events of that terrible day should watch ITV3 on Wednesday evening.

For the third week in a row, Jason Mraz continues his climb back up the chart. This week I’m Yours returns to the top 30 at 25 in its 14th week in the top 40. This week’s rise seems likely to be partly due to its appearance on Now 72 although it still puzzles me that so many people wait for these compilations to be released before downloading a song.

Depeche Mode have, for a long time, been the most successful act never to have a number one single. Sadly, they extend their unwanted lead in that particular race as Wrong enters at 24. That makes 43 singles without ever making the top three. I think it’s fair to assume that the album – released on 20 April – will get rather higher than the single. Probably 23 places higher.

Britney fans may want to skip the next paragraph although there is quite a good joke at the end.

New at 35 is the epitome of the phrase “all image, no talent”, Britney Spears with her latest offering, If U Seek Amy. Her songs aren’t necessarily that bad. Travis proved that by doing a vaguely reasonable cover of Hit Me Baby One More Time. But the Britney version was just like everything else she’s done. That is, over-produced to hide the fact that her voice is so bad. Britney Spears is an anagram of Try Rabies Pen. Now there’s an idea. That might shut her up.

Britney fans can come back now.

There’s a welcome new entry at 36 for Bat For Lashes (aka Natasha Khan) with her Enya-like single, Daniel. I’m not a great fan of Ms Khan but this is a lovely song. Far better than the Elton John song of the same name. See the albums section for more.

James Morrison enters at 39 with Please Don’t Stop The Rain. Broken Strings (back up four to 18) is a decent song. This isn’t. It really is very dull and uninspiring. About as dull and uninspiring as a rainy day.

The Killers’ Human dropped out of the top 40 a couple weeks ago after a 19 week run. Now it’s back, climbing eight places to number 40. It’s just a shame the follow-up, Spaceman, performed so modestly.

Lady GaGa holds on to the top spot in the albums chart, holding off a strong challenge from Doves. Doves thus fail to complete a hat-trick of number one albums – ignoring the b-sides collection Lost Sides. It is a full four years since the release of their last album Some Cities. While the album is still good, I would have expected better after such a long absence. Some critics had speculated that Doves might “do an Elbow” with this album. There are two reasons for saying no to that. First, Doves have enjoyed more success in the past than Elbow so the comparison is not really valid in the first place. Second, Kingdom Of Rust is nowhere near as good as Seldom Seen Kid. If not for the fact that both bands are from the Greater Manchester area, the question would never have been asked.

The Doves album is one of three to go straight into the top 10. Bat For Lashes enters at five with Two Suns. This is the follow-up to the Mercury-nominated Fur And Gold which peaked at number 48 in 2007, almost exactly a year after it was released having failed to chart at all until the Mercury ceremony. So she scores her first top 40 hits in both charts this week.

New Yorkers the Yeah Yeah Yeahs enter at nine with their third album, It’s Blitz. The title of the lead single from the album, Zero, more or less sums up its chart performance so far. Last week, it climbed to number 100. However, it doesn’t get a physical release until tomorrow so it may well improve on that.

Out of the top ten go James Morrison, Prodigy and Flo Rida whose album plummets from five to 19. Obviously his many fans are not great buyers of albums.

And so, in the week that yet another ITV talent show starts a new run, we come to another talent show also-ran, Eoghan Quigg, affectionately (or, perhaps, not so affectionately) known as egg-nog. (On this Easter Sunday, that’s the only reference to eggs.) His eponymous debut enters at 14. I’ve only heard the single, 28000 Friends, which I would describe as a second-rate McFly. As it was written by a former Busted member, perhaps that’s not so surprising. If his 28000 friends had actually bought a copy it would have been a hit but it seems they have better things to do with their money. Eoghan is, of course, pronounced Owan. But if you stick a G on the front, Geoghan is pronounced Gaygan. So Eoghan Geoghan would be Owan Gaygan rather than Owan Goewan or Aygan Gaygan.

Two north American veterans also enter the albums chart this week. Carole King’s 1971 album Tapestry has been given a re-release and enters this week at number 12. As part of the publicity round for the album she performed on Jools Holland’s show on Tuesday. Unfortunately for her, that meant she had to undergo the torture of a typically excruciating interview with Holland. However, it has entered higher than the mids suggested so it appears to have been worth it. The album contains a number of classic songs including You’ve Got A Friend which was so memorably covered by McFly. That’s two mentions of that loveable band and they aren’t even in the charts.

Canadian Neil Young will be headlining Glastonbury this year and also plays at the Hard Rock Calling event in Hyde Park, along with Fleet Foxes. His latest album, Fork In The Road, enters at 22. His first solo album, After the Gold Rush was released back in 1970, five months after the debut from Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. Before that, he and Stephen Stills had been members of Buffalo Springfield.

Last year Ultravox announced that they were re-forming. Not surprisingly, that’s the Midge Ure-led line-up rather than the original with John Foxx. Ure has one of the more unusual musical careers having started in a boy-band, Slik, and then going straight into a punk band, Rich Kids. He also had spells with Thin Lizzy and Visage. He is, of course, also known as “that other bloke who co-wrote Do They Know It’s Christmas. You know, thingy, that Scottish bloke..” Ultravox have released a new Greatest Hits collection to give them something to promote on the tour and it enters this week at number 35. I will resist the temptation to mention their biggest hit as it brings back painful memories of the abomination which held it off the top spot.

The Specials have also re-formed and were also among the guests on Jools Holland’s programme. That has helped the Greatest Hits collection released last year re-enter the chart at 26. There’s one other re-entry. Jason Mraz jumps back 26 places to number 40 with We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things.

Thanks, as ever, to ChC, chartstats.com, everyhit.co.uk and Charts+ without whom blah-de-blah