Jester

37. Will.i.am ft. Cody Wise – It's My Birthday Chart run: 1-3-7-9-10-12-24-29-35-40-44-53-57-64 (14 weeks) Sales at number 1: 74,034 Year End: 51 Number 2 peaks behind the chart topper: None To be fair to this song, I gave it a further listen when planning my rank as I hadn’t willingly heard it since it left the top 40. The further listen did not change my mind on this and made it go lower down my rate. This ‘effort’ was Will.i.am’s 10th UK chart topper, proving he was firstly able to take any old tripe to number 1 and secondly that he was literally everywhere from the late noughties to the mid 2010s – helped of course by being a coach on the Voice UK. Researching this song I have discovered that it was originally called just ‘Birthday’, it samples an Indian song called Urvasi Urvasi (composed by AR Rahman of Jai Ho fame) and Fi Di Jockey, a Jamacian track (no, not Balegde!) and lyrically it is about every day being your birthday. Cody Wise, the feature on this song, was a true one hit wonder in the UK and his follow up didn’t chart. He was signed to Will.i.am’s label so I assume the got the gig by who you know instead of talent. This is a utter mess of a song and ranks a near bottom in terms of Will.i.am’s musical output - possibly on par with the awful Time of my Life from the BEPs. I think he could release any old crap and get a number 1 at this point, and this was clearly true. Non-number 1? Yes.

I have included one song that was number 1 in 2013, one in 2015 as well, so unsure where the other one is?

38. Ben Haenow – Something I Need Chart run: 1-2-4-8-8-10-19-26-35-39-58-67-73R(4)-74 (14 weeks) Sales at number 1: 214,239 Year End: 58 Number 2 peaks behind the chart topper: None So, who do we have last then? Not really a shock that it is this year’s limp X Factor winner effort. I suspect he is more Ben Whonow then Ben Haenow these days. A word on the 11th (!) series of the X Factor. Remember the categories singers were put in? Well, once Ben made it through bootcamp (the memories are trickling back now), he was put in the Over 26 categories (he was 29) and ‘mentored’ by Simon Cowell. He was suitably bland an inoffensive enough to never make the bottom 2 and ended up in the final with the wonderful Fleur East. Its clear that Fleur was by far the better winner, but hey ho, this was the X Factor after all (Fleur championed a certain song that will appear much later!) So onto the inevitable crushing winners single that was still a depressing guarantee of the Christmas number 1 (for how long though? And also not in Ireland, a first for 9 years). Something I Need was chosen, a One Republic cover which sold 214,000 to be the Xmas chart topper. It’s a decent enough song, it does suit Haenow’s voice, but it is oh uninspiring and magnolia. A well-deserved bottom place. What happened to Haenow I hear you say? Well, his follow up with Kelly Clarkson peaked at number 21 and his album of limp covers peaked at number 10. You can almost still hear the dropping noise from SyCo.

So, onto 2014 for a rate of its number 1s – a whopping 38 to get through! 2026 could never (though 2000 could!) Thank you to the mods for letting me rate what is imo the best year for music in the 2010s. A word first on where I was at in my life in 2014. I had, over the previous 2 years, lost over 8 stone in weight so I found myself feeling much more body confident than I ever had. Although I was the grand age of 38 that year I went to London several times to visit the GAY bar on Old Compton Street then go to Heaven after for their cheesy night. The music at the GAY bar was mainly the current dance hits and this time and place coincided with some fantastic tunes being released. I also went abroad with friends for the first time to Barcelona that year, paving the way for future trips around Europe. This really cemented an affection from me for the big tunes of the day that happened to be chart toppers – this has rarely happened before and has not since! The songs that will do well here are rose tinted and I had a great time enjoying them. Plus I met a couple of Buzzjackers in London – more on that much later! Away from me, what was going on in the world? Well, being 12 years ago, I had to use t’internet to help me find what the big UK news was – Scottish Independence Referendum (least said soonest mended on referendums in the 2010s!), severe winter flooding, the 100th year anniversary of the start if WW1 and the Tower of London poppies, the rise of UKIP and Glasgow hosted the Commonwealth games. Outside in the big bad world, Russia annexed Crimea, there was an Ebloa pandemic, Malaysia flight 370 disappeared and record temperatures were recorded worldwide. In hindsight, there were signs of things to come – a pandemic, a referendum, the rise of far right, the invasion of Ukrainian territory and drastic weather. Still, simpler times than we live in now. By 2014, I had been co-hosting the Sunday chart show thread for 8 years, so I listened to the whole chart show in full every week so I am pretty familiar with nearly all the number 1s (a few needed a refresher and one had completely left my memory). The other big news with the chart this year was the introduction of streaming counting towards ‘sales’ in the latter part of the year – the first number 1 to include streaming will be rated in due course. On with the rate of the 38 number 1s – sorry if my write ups aren’t as long as some are (I have never been good with essays), but they are not written by AI, all stats and facts have been looked up and opinions are my own. Apologies in advance for any errors! Thanks to Gezza for the number 1 sales & YE stats and Polyhex for the chart runs and Jaz for helping me source the above.

Jester’s Top Tunes 1073 1 (1) Friendly Fires – Lose All Your Friends // 8-4-1-1-1 (5 wks) 3 weeks at number 1 2 (4) Chase & Status feat. Debbie – Gone Too Far // 22-13-7-4-2 (5 wks) 3 (2) Sienna Spiro – Great Expectations // 20-10-4-1-2-2-3 (7 wks) 4 (7) Kasabian – SILVER APPLE EYES // 14-9-7-4 (4 wks) 5 (8) Jake Bugg – Never Can Tell // 18-11-8-5 (4 wks) 6 (9) Dua Lipa – Training Season // 11-4-3-4-7-10-12-16-17-21-24-30-35-39-xx-9-6 (16 wks) 7 (6) Madonna & Kylie Minogue – Love Sensation (After Hours Mix) // 18-12-4-1-3-4-6-7 (8 wks) 8 (11) Sienna Spiro – Die On This Hill // 15-11-8 (3 wks) 9 (14) Ashe – Stop The Wedding! // 14-9 (2 wks) 10 (12) Becky Hill – Changes // 21-12-10 (3 wks) 11 (3) Mystery Jets – Long Lonely Road // 16-11-9-5-3-11 (6 wks) 12 (5) Jessie Ware – Sauna (CamelPhat Remix) // 21-15-11-8-5-12 (6 wks) 13 (10) Kolter – Trapped // 16-8-5-2-3-10-13 (7 wks) 14 (16) Troye Sivan – Party // 16-14 (2 wks) 15 (15) Snow Patrol & Kylie Minogue – These Alarms // 10-6-4-1-1-1-1-3-7-10-12-15-15 (13 wks) 16 (-) Madonna & Charli xcx – Danceteria Afterhours // 16 (1 wk) 17 (13) Overmono – After The Rain // 19-14-5-2-5-6-13-17 (8 wks) 18 (19) Sombr – My Body Isn’t Ready // 16-11-10-6-5-2-4-6-9-14-16-18-19-18 (14 wks) 19 (18) Olivia Rodrigo – The Cure // 9-5-4-1-1-1-1-1-3-5-7-8-12-13-15-17-18-19 (18 wks) 20 (20) M83 – Blister Sunrise // 21-20-20-20 (4 wks) 21 (-) BICEP – Air // 21 (1 wk) 22 (17) Temper City – Self Aware // 12-10-8-3-9-12-18-19-20-20-19-18-12-10-4-1-3-7-10-17-22 (20 wks) 23 (21) Madonna – Danceteria // 15-13-12-11-8-3-2-6-10-12-16-21-23 (13 wks) 24 (24) Kylie Minogue - Light Up // 12-8-4-1-4-4-6-7-8-9-10-13-15-18-18-19-22-24-24 (19 wks) 25 (25) Michael Jackson – Human Nature // 6-1-1-2-5-5-7-8-9-10-11-15-17-19-19-20-23-25-25 (19 wks) 26 (26) The Chemical Brothers – Go // 7-1-2-2-3-6-6-8-9-10-12-13-16-18-20-21-22-24-26-26 (20 wks) 27 (27) Tame Impala feat. JENNIE – Dracula (JENNIE Remix) // 2-1-1-3-5-6-7-7-8-9-12-14-14-14-15-17-19-23-24-25-25-27-27 (23 wks) 28 (23) Harry Styles – Ready Steady Go! // 20-13-12-11-7-3-2-5-7-12-17-19-23-28 (12 wks) 29 (28) Slayyyter – DANCE… // 11-8-3-3-2-2-5-6-7-9-10-15-17-23-26-28-29 (17 wks) 30 (30) Sombr – Potential // 10-7-4-3-1-4-7-8-9-10-12-16-16-16-16-21-23-23-24-26-28-28-30-30 (24 wks) 31 (29) Mystery Jets – A Hole To See The Sky Through I // 10-6-2-2-3-5-7-8-9-12-13-17-20-24-27-29-31 (17 wks) 32 (22) Keane x Everything Everything – A Very Bad Dream (Remix) // 11-11-2-6-8-14-22-32 (8 wks) 33 (31) The Snuts – Defibrillator // 14-10-5-4-3-2-4-5-7-13-23-27-29-31-33 (15 wks) 34 (32) Ariana Grande – Hate That I Made You Love Me // 23-22-20-25-33-34-36-37-31-32-34 (11 wks) 35 (33) Silva Bumpa – On 2Nite // 14-12-8-4-3-2-4-6-8-9-14-16-26-30-33-35 (16 wks) 36 (35) Harry Styles – American Girls // 9-1-1-1-3-5-6-7-8-9-13-14-17-19-19-21-24-24-24-25-26-29-29-30-31-32-34-35-36 (29 wks) 37 (36) Troye Sivan – She’s The Best // 22-11-9-6-13-36-37 (7 wks) 38 (34) ANOTR & 54 Ultra – Talk To You // 9-6-4-2-2-6-14-15-16-18-23-26-28-25-22-20-17-14-21-25-27-29-32-34-38 (25 wks) 39 (37) Madonna – I Feel So Free // 10-5-4-2-7-13-19-24-25-28-29-27-29-29-30-31-32-33-35-36-36-37-39 (23 wks) 40 (39) Taylor Swift – I Knew It, I Knew You // 12-11-9-7-14-15-15-17-23-26-34-35-37-38-38-39-40 (17 wks)

Here is my top 10: 1= Get Lucky - Daft Punk ft Pharrell Williams & Nile Rodgers 1= La La La - Naughty Boy ft Sam Smith 3 Need U (100%) - Duke Dumont ft A*M*E 4 Waiting All Night - Rudimental ft Ella Eyre 5 Wake Me Up - Avicii 6 I Love It - Icona Pop ft Charli XCX 7 Love Me Again - John Newman 8 I Could Be The One - Avicii & Nicky Romero 9 Look Right Through - Storm Queen 10 Roar - Katy Perry A great year for number 1s!

The top 2 aren’t my thing but they are decent songs. I think my top 5 would be: KLF - 3AM Eternal Enigma - Sadeness (Part 1) Queen - innuendo Jason Donovan - Any Dream Will Do Michael Jackson - Black or White Thanks for a great countdown Jim

Starting tomorrow….. Jester ranks the Number 1s of 2014

My pick for number 1 as well so great choice! Fab countdown, thanks Jaz.

This would be top 2 for me, shame it’s not your winner. I love the KLF, they were so fresh at the time.

Bastille and Chris Malinchak would be my top 2 of those. I’m going to listen to the latter now….

Not a fan of Mirrors at all. I am JT ambivalent at best tbh.

Listened to it again this morning due to this thread. The bridge of the Spanish guitar through to the oooh oooh part (badly described) is superb.

Innuendo is immense and I’ve always loved it. Criminally overlooked I agree.

I used to wrote up the top 10 in a notebook while listening to the charts around 1988. I then went off the charts properly until around 1994 then have been interested ever since. Around 1996, I started to write down the number 1 albums and singles again. I love lists.