Plus... can't you see in ALL the forums? In which case, surely you know how the songs are coming along, no?

Plus... can't you see in ALL the forums? In which case, surely you know how the songs are coming along, no?

I can see in all the forums but haven't really taken the opportunity to do so for the last few hours :drama:

Non-voting carries a penalty, you are aware? ^_^

 

 

Hell, what doesn't?

Breathing in the wrong way carries a severe penalty

THIS IS THE TOXIC CHAMPAGNE ENTRY.

 

(This song is perhaps best imagined as a collaboration of three artists. On the verses and final chorus, someone sounding like and with similar delivery to Wynter Gordon. On the other chorus Rye Rye. Nicki Minaj on rap segment. But that's just a suggestion, interpret is how you will)

 

I see those tuxed up boys,

And dolled up girls.

With their big kids' toys,

And adorned in pearls.

But they stare in vain,

As they want a taste of our Toxic Champagne.

 

[CHORUS]

 

Toxic, we got that champagne flowin'

We're toxic, we'll get'cha mind a'blowin'

coz when we crank the speed

we'll take the lead.

we'll make you bleed

that toxic champagne outta your vein

 

They still lookin' at us, with that look of lust

So let me ask ya, if you're nonplussed

"Whatcha still doing across the floor?"

So they step on over and ask to try

Well they don't know what they're in for,

Cos this is gonna take them hiiiigh

 

Toxic, we got that champagne flowin'

We're toxic, we'll get'cha mind a'blowin'

coz when we crank the speed

we'll take the lead.

we'll make you bleed

that toxic champagne outta your vein

 

[RAP]

 

It's 12:26, we got you wantin' another sip

Cos you know you want our taste on your lips

Don't even try and act like you don't want it bad

We like something you ain't ever had

Like class in a glass, just take your pick

It don't even matter, cos we're all toxic.

 

Toxic, we got that champagne flowin'

We're toxic, we'll get'cha mind a'blowin'

coz when we crank the speed

we'll take the lead.

we'll make you bleed

that toxic champagne outta your vein

 

Toxic, we got that champagne flowin' (yeah we got it flowin')

We're toxic, we'll get'cha mind a'blowin'

Coz y'know, when we crank up the speed,

We're gonna take the lead.

And you're gonna bleed

All that toxic champagne outta your.

 

Vein.

 

You wouldn't believe it, but this was a collaborative effort of about...5 people. (yes, I'm counting Dandy's suggestion of the word 'nonplussed' as a writing credit. nu Britney alert :D)

Surely if we know which team wrote what, people will vote strategically?

Surely if we know which team wrote what, people will vote strategically?

Well, given every song mentions what team it's from there's not really any way around it :lol:

Nice effort TC, better luck next time though ey?

RIGHT. This is Blue Waffle's entry, and yes, it's an APPALLING mess of a record.

We did pretty much ALL contribute to this as an entire team, hence the very disjointed feel to it all. But I think it says something that the team came together for this, I am very proud of them all. It also namechecks everyone (I think).

 

 

Oh, and Chris2k, stop bitching about other teams' efforts, because it will most likely come back to bite us on our arse!

 

 

 

 

 

THIS HOT MESS COMES FROM THE HEART

 

 

 

 

 

[The song is designed to have an early 90s cheese-rave feel. Think Marky Mark's "Good Vibrations". The verses are white trash rap, the chorus belted out by a big fat wobbly black diva of the kind Aaron TM would approve. Blue Waffle stands firmly against stereotyping.]

 

SHOUTED INTRO: YO BITCHES LISTEN UP! REGINA! RAGINA! VAGINA! HOE BAGS!

 

BACKING CHANT: Regina?...Regina! Ragina! VAGINA! [the chant starts here, and keeps going throught the entire song, much like the "bum bum bum bum"s in "Good Vibrations"]

 

VERSE 1:

I'm strugglin' to think of a song

So please pass me a bong

To find some inspiration

For our beloved blue waffle nation

I'll chuck in any word to sound spontaneous

So everyone sing along with your friend Alias

 

EXTRA-LOUD CHANT: Regina?... Regina! Ragina! VAGINA!

 

VERSE 1 continues:

The kid who is obsessed with Rated R, the one and only WillR

His rhyming skills are buried six feet under, but he's not a one-hit wonder.

eJackulate haunts the team with his Lena GIF,

Although it's just a picture, her blue waffle still makes a whiff.

But if you're looking for a smell that really does fester,

you'll need to look at Shelli, not Cassidy or Jester

 

 

CHORUS: [enter belting diva]

She got down on a cock

At the time it rocked

Rode it all night then got a bit of a shock

Bruised and infected

Clitorus errected

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

 

 

VERSE 2:

It's time for Chris_2k10 to shine

That's right, its time for his line!

Chris loves a bit of Kylie...

But can't stand Carol Smilie!

Frank, he sure does love a drink

But not as much as he loves P!nk

Our Flop Mod Leader is old fogey Shoat

He just ain't half as good as RabbitFurCoat!

 

EXTRA-LOUD CHANT: Regina?... Regina! Ragina! VAGINA!

 

VERSE 2 continues:

He's a little obsessed is Regina Flowers

He wants to join Brandon when he showers

Common Sense more than understands irony

That username, and buying Thai Brides with money

Shelli Louise Po, such a dirty ho

Blue waffle, and still she just can't say no.

Shelli really fancies old Smegma Jake

She wants his face in her great big blue waffle cake!

 

 

CHORUS:

She got down on a cock

At the time it rocked

Rode it all night then got a bit of a shock

Bruised and infected

Clitorus errected

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

 

 

[The beat suddenly fades, and we have some ethereal synths. This is the serious part.]

 

MIDDLE 8: [sung by a ghostly child choir]

It stings and you find it in your girlfriend's minge

Infact it goes without saying it will make you cringe

Unfortunately the only cure for blue waffle

Is to go out of a bender and visit a high class brothel

 

INSTRUMENTAL: [the beat kicks back into gear, and manic 90s rave piano riff comes into play]

 

DRUM BEAT POETRY: [as performed by guest vocalists CHUMBAWAMBA - the rave beat drops]

The diagnosis looks bleak, Shelli's caught it in her throat

She won't be going back for more with RabbitFurCoat

She suspects he's been around the block

Hence his suspiciously swollen cock

It didn't take her long to move onto Jake

Who seduced him buy putting roofies in his cake

They later got married, what a dream boat

Everyone else is now relieved, especially Shoat

 

RANDOM EUROPEAN FOLK MUSIC PART: [Now an accordion starts up.]

Frankie wat heb je nou gedaan

De hele wafel van Nicky is naar de maan

 

[Normal service is then resumed - back to the cheese beat]

 

FINAL VERSE:

Turning pigeons into wine

Grami sticks it to Jesus everytime

let's get hammered, let's get drunk

and eat blue waffle from Jordan's junk

 

EXTRA-LOUD CHANT: Regina?... Regina! Ragina! VAGINA!

 

FINAL VERSE continues:

Most of Blue Waffle have posted a lot,

Especially Shelli, the team's own spam-bot.

But two members so far gave posting a miss,

MIA members Brett-Butler and 152.chris!

We were gonna throw in a line about Bray,

but we won't because that would be a cliché!

Oh $h!t, looks like we did it anyway,

Whoever let that slip in, they'd better pay!

Uh oh here comes that utter c**t Rooney,

Convincing everyone he's a total looney,

Finally up is Mike Shinoda,

What a bitch to rhyme, 'cos I can only think Yoda!

 

 

CHORUS:

She got down on a cock

At the time it rocked

Rode it all night then got a bit of a shock

Bruised and infected

Clitorus errected

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

 

AD LIB: [sung over and throughout the final chorus by guest rapper B.O.B. Shamelessly lifted from his most recent chart-topping success]

I could really use a new clunj right now, clunj right now, clunj right nowwwwww.

 

REPEAT FINAL CHORUS:

She got down on a cock

At the time it rocked

Rode it all night then got a bit of a shock

Bruised and infected

Clitorus errected

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

Blue waffle, waffle, waffle

 

REPEAT TO FADE

 

END LINE: And that Ren is such a twat.

Nice effort TC, better luck next time though ey?

Does your song include 'nonplussed'?

 

We are original, obvz.

Never did I think I'd spend 30 minutes of my life re-arranging lines in a song about vaginal disease and cock.

Never did I think I'd spend 30 minutes of my life re-arranging lines in a song about vaginal disease and cock.

I want someone to make a mash-up with Woohoo.

TWO MINUTES LEFT FOR QUEST FOR ETERNAL PERFECTION.

Quest for Eternal Perfection's rather rushed entry:

 

Notes: The first and last verse are ballad-like, in a vain similar to Gaga and Bey's 'Telephone'. The song tells the story of a group of friends who started out with nothing and worked their way to the top. The metaphor of performance art is used to make us sound a more interesting bunch than we actually are. hahahehehahaho!

 

I just popped in

To say hello

Don't call my name

Or my cover's blown

I'm in your city

For a show

This life is everything

But it's not perfect, you know...

 

We grew up as the tighest of communities

No oversized egos, we're all equal, see

Wasn't long before we knew that it was meant to be

Didn't need Tyron or Aaron, Adam, Rooney? Please!

We got brains from half of Europe and a token yankie gay

We got mafioso in-house, there ain't nothing you can say

That won't get us working harder, stronger, Kanye DNA

If you ain't us we must apologise, cos this just ain't your day

 

So I'm poppin' in, say hello, au revoir, I gotta go

On the road, got a show, this ain't the perfect life you know

I just graft, and I just hope, I'll see you wave from down below

Said I just graft, so you just roll, and watch the sky cos we gon' blow

Watch the sky cos we gon' blow

 

Remember when we used to scrape the chicken off the bone

Now we're full on Mikal's pasta bake and coming for the throne

Never used to have no dollar, hairbrush was our microphone

Like a cliché from a Hugh Grant romcom, navigate our way with tom-tom

That's how we wound up ready to take gold

Like Cyndi Lauper, had to grab a hold

Won't let go, no

 

I'm poppin' in, say hello, au revoir, I gotta go

On the road, got a show, this ain't the perfect life you know

I just graft, and I just hope, I'll see you wave from down below

Said I just graft, so you just roll, and watch the sky cos we gon' blow

Watch the sky cos we gon' blow

 

Don't be a stranger no, don't you be shy

Drop my PA a line and she'll fit you in my diary

Memo on my blackberry, memories of strawberries

Watching Wimbledon with your great aunt Aubrey

Back when I had the time to kick back

And back when you used to cut me some slack

For having an ambition, embarking on a mission

Grabbing hold of a dream and seeing it to fruition

Any enemy of mine could feature in a car collision

If you're still a friend of mine then you made the right decision

 

And when the day comes for one team to take the crown

There'll be twenty of us standing, sixty of you on the ground

 

We're poppin' in, say hello, au revoir, we gotta go

We're on the road, we got a show, this ain't the perfect life you know

But we just graft, and we just hope, we'll see you wave from down below

Said we just graft, so you just roll, and watch the sky cos we gon' blow

Watch the sky cos we gon' blow

 

This life is everything

But it's not perfect, you know

If this search goes on forever

Bask in our near-perfect glow

 

:D

I'm being VERY GENEROUS here.

Im gunna be the Blue Waffle cheerleader!

Shelli Louise Po; the FACE of BLUE WAFFLE

So who won?

Can someone please exterminate the troll, please!

I want someone to make a mash-up with Woohoo.

 

I ain't tainting our song with THAT $h!t.

 

 

So who won?

 

Not now Shelli.

 

Silas; p*** off, she's a troll but she's OUR troll.

Hiya Silas babe! So nice to meet you!