Can you imagine...

"Michelle would like some time off please."

"Right... Kill her character off!!"

"Okay... Erm... How?"

"Just send her to Lynn's and she can die off screen."

(I appreciate this won't be how Zoe is actually written out)

On 17/07/2026 at 11:28, Liаm said:

I’d scream if that was it and she just like dies of an aneurysm at Lynne’s or something lmfao

Imagine if they done that there would be uproar although off screen always means a comeback can happen!

Actually cannot root for this Lauren / Mark thing at all. As much as Peter is a wet blanket he definitely doesn't deserve this; Lauren is a hypocrite, no better than her dad here.

1 hour ago, lewistgreen said:

Actually cannot root for this Lauren / Mark thing at all. As much as Peter is a wet blanket he definitely doesn't deserve this; Lauren is a hypocrite, no better than her dad here.

100% agree!! Miss high and mighty when it suits her only. Both are as bad as each other and you know it’s bad when I feel bad for PETER of all people.

What in the absolute f**k were those community centre scenes all about? The second hand embarrassment watching that was real.

The Mark/Lauren shite can bore off.

Thank God for the Denise storyline because we have sod all else at the minute. Reminds me of when the Nigel storyline was the only good thing about the show.

They do seem to be struggling to have more than one decent week in a row.

I don’t hate Mark like I did when he arrived but I’m not invested in him and Lauren. And I’ve actually been enjoying Lauren outside of all this.

Not sure what they’re doing bringing Joel back really. Unless Ross is exiting, there is just no way it will ever be acceptable to have Joel on the Square and it feels too early for redemption.

They’ve done a lot of work to make Lauren a much better character since being back, but this doesn’t really do anything for her. Her and Mark have more chemistry than Peter, and I don’t think her and Peter work, but there’s no need for a tired affair storyline and making her a hypocrite given how much she rags her dad for the same.

I think we've had five affair storylines since Wadey took over? Max & Priya, Lauren & Mark, Vicki & Zack, Oscar & Josh, and Callum & Johnny was an affair at first too albeit with Ben in prison It's overkill. Mark offers nothing to the show IMO, EastEnders is always at its worst when it resorts to gangster stuff, Ravi's character has suffered from it too, but the only other aspect of Mark other than being a gangster is being a womaniser, and that's already Zack's whole schtick, not to mention Max...! He's surplus to requirements.

Denise's storyline is the saving grace but I am enjoying Joel's return so far too, it feels realistic that he wouldn't get long enough in jail and I'm quite enjoying the conflicting emotions that Vicki and Ross are experiencing, not to mention the screentime for the "teen" cast who have mostly been strong for a while but feel quite underused on the whole.

Cackled at the pole dancing in the community centre. It was tacky, but hilarious. Not sure when Linda became so invested in the centre though, past doing a couple of sober dance classes.

I like Mark, and I can deal with the gangsta stuff (even the writers calling a criminal "Sonny") but I don't like the affair stuff with Lauren. I'm not sure that even given her form that she would be up for it when she's just been through all the Jimmy being blind stuff. She's got enough going on at home.

I'm a no to Joel as well. Something will happen and probably quite soon where he saves someone from something and all will be okay. But the fact his temper is still very much showing will stay with the character. It's just classic soap opera writing.

I am genuinely tired of affairs and love triangles. It feels like boring, lazy writing and it's not really a thing a soap in 2026 needs to be aiming for is it?

Sorry, Linda, I don’t think you count as a widow. Mick’s widow is Janine.

The ridiculous music in the background in the park had me f***ing howling, ok Hollyoaks

So I assume redemption will come to Joel just by making all the other characters as horrific?

What the heck was that? GCSE Drama students would've been better deployed to do that scene. My money is on Nugget beating the shit out of Joel though.

I don't like to slate the young actors on the show, but that was really really awful.

The attack on Joel was actually horrible to watch, but them coming bit by bit to sit down whilst that music played and the rest up to the doof-doofs was like a 15 year old film student convinced his mates to help him with his coursework.

Individually, and with adult actors to prop them up, they are okay... But as an ensemble it was bad.

And that was broadcast primetime on one of the biggest TV programmes in the UK.

Oh... And who takes their phone out and videos it?

Nugget.

The same character that made such a big deal over Will videoing his seizure.

I guess we needed the teen group to do something of this magnitude. Most of the time they act all high and mighty and do need taking down a peg so perhaps this experience will help with that.

Tommy notably absent from it all.

I think I would've rather we see Joel's attack and who did it so we follow them on that journey of dealing with it all / covering it up. The problem with a whodunnit is so many characters bob along completely unknown that it's them until the reveal and then they change their character to suit. I think it would've been a good ending to at least see them (definitely Nugget) release Joel and hit him and then casually rejoin the group like nothing had happened. I don't think we've got the calibre of actors to pull this one off sadly; hopefully a quick reveal.

I actually enjoyed today's episode - the teen cast are generally pretty strong, I find! Max Murray and Lilia Turner were particularly great today. It got a bit ridiculous in the final few minutes when they all reunited after being separated in twos for a while though, giving them all a chance to have been the attacker but otherwise I think this is an interesting lane to take the story in.

Oscar buying booze for them just highlighted the difference in how he's written compared to the rest though, given he's actually not much older than them in the show...!

It still throws me off that Avani and Nugget are the same age. I know it's possible given he was a September birthday and Avani July. I could've sworn they'd said Nugget was older though a while ago.

I do think the teen cast should be given a chance to shine but not Hollyoaks style. We don't need 2017 Bex and Louise vibes / screen time domination but there are so many 17/18 year olds in the cast that they should occasionally be at the forefront more than they are.