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I don't know if it's my computer, but a line in that post has a white, flashing line underneath it... might not be good for anyone with epilepsy. Dunno how to edit it. It's stopped flashing now that it was accepted hmm.

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  • Big Fat Sue
    Big Fat Sue

    First up, last in the list: LAST PLACE: Englebert Humpledink - Love! (Will Set You Free) Pros: Vocals aren't bad Spanish guitar Cons: Awful staging Boring song He looks as interested in the comp

  • Big Fat Sue
    Big Fat Sue

    Crap, I had a post saved with two songs. Came to edit it, and it's gone

  • Julian_
    Julian_

    I think I’d probably put Jemini slightly higher just because the song itself is a bit of a bop, though I agree everything else is dire. And Josh Dubovie would probably have been my bottom though I agr

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4 minutes ago, uhsting said:

i really liked Bigger Than Us back then kink

It's a good song! But needed a bit more work as an entry and it needed to be sent years away from Storm.

“Bigger Than Us” would be bottom three for me, probably above “That Sounds Good To Me” and “Embers”. It’s just so cheesy and superficial and lacking in anything interesting musically for me.

As for “Storm”: nice girl, pleasant track and valiant performance but that’s still quite embarrassing when up against the likes of “Toy” and “Fuego”. I think the position for that is more or less fair; maybe slightly low.

Just had a skim through to see things are placing. Engelbert is a fair enough choice for last, but I've not seen Andy Abraham pop up yet, so I assume that you correctly decided that he was so awful, he doesn't even deserve an acknowledgement at the bottom of the rankings?

I enjoy the Michael Rice song! The perfect example of where beige is good for me!!!! He has a great voice too.

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18: James Fox - Hold On! (To Our Love) (2004)

Pros:

Sounds like a massive hit (if released in the 2010s, like that really boring Portugal song)

Good vocals

Competent performance, which was important after Jemini

Cons:

The song is reaaaaally boring

The chorus is too cheesy

Terrible staging

Camp Monitor leading a kumbaya guitar moment around the camp fire vibes

One year after the Jemini nil points disaster, the BBC decided to do a major course correction and sent a guitar ballad by James Fox, of Fame Academy fame. It is the Joanne (this song) to the BBC's ARTPOP (Jemini). It's a stripped-back song, performed by a very competent vocalist.

I don't mind the song, but the main problem is it is very, very boring, something that is accentuated by the empty staging. There is a Greek chorus swaying along in the background, a man with a guitar, and with an orange light that is VERY reminiscent of a camp fire... Which brings us to one of the major problems with this entry: it feels small. It sounds like something you would sing at a summer camp. Not only that, but the song sounds like a standard, indie-bop, guitar-led ballad ... but the chorus collapses into full-on, laidback cheese pop.

However, I think that, had they fixed that cheese chorus, then this could have been a MAJOR Eurovision hit in the 2010s. Does it sound that different to that horrendously boring Portugal song, which had no business winning? I don't think so. It sounds similar enough to have done really well in the 2010s, with a bit of a lick of paint to remove the early naughties cheese. Nevertheless, this was sent way before the sound was popular and was therefrore ahead of its time. In the early 00s, however, this just did not stand out. It was boring, it felt dated (for the time), felt like it sucked all the energy out of the competition, and it just couldn't compete for anyone's top 10 favourite song against far bigger numbers. The winning song that year was Wild Dances! Some ballads did do well, but they had bigger structures and belted notes. This was too laid-back for the time.

Good vocals, competent performance, but totally the wrong type of entry for the early 2000s.

  • Author

And the recap for anyone skimming:

26-18:

26 Englebert Humperdink (What if? Jordan/ Katie Price) - Love Can Set You Free

25 Josh Dubovie - That Sounds Good To Me

24 Jemini - Cry Baby

23 Nicki French - Don't Play That Song Again (k. Don't have to tell me twice)

22 Lindsay Dracass - Dream Impossible

21 James Newman - Embers

20 Surie - Storm

19 Michael Rice - Bigger than Us

18 James Fox - Hold On!

17 ...

I like Holly's version of "Bigger Than Us".

My last place is obvious. Top 2 are Scooch and Remember Monday. After it - Bonnie, Jessica, Jemini.

Bigger Than Us would be my last place. Sent at a time when we should have been fatigued from that kind of soppy winners ballad, X Factor was passé half a decade before it. There is just nothing appealing about it, it seems like the perfect reason why the UK public hasn't had a hand in choosing our entry since.

I wouldn't even compare it to Storm, that at least has a couple of mildly interesting things going on with the backing track.

and then James Fox isn't great but bringing a guitar on stage isn't a bad thing.

10 hours ago, Julian_ said:

“Bigger Than Us” would be bottom three for me, probably above “That Sounds Good To Me” and “Embers”. It’s just so cheesy and superficial and lacking in anything interesting musically for me.

As for “Storm”: nice girl, pleasant track and valiant performance but that’s still quite embarrassing when up against the likes of “Toy” and “Fuego”. I think the position for that is more or less fair; maybe slightly low.

Completely agree. Michael being a good singer is the one and only good thing about it.

It just gave me flashbacks to bad X Factor winning songs, and worse still - there was a much better similar song written by the same artist in the same final (Too Late For Love), which was going to eat up any small chance of support this had. I think it might be my last place of the songs that have been so far because again, it's something I will never listen to again out of choice because it's such a dull plod, whereas others have more bite even if elements of them were crap.

James Fox was one of the more forgettable but competent entries we've had this century I would say. I don't care for the song whatsoever, but I can see its appeal, and it performed fairly in the contest, it was no better or worse than the position it got. I listened to it just then for the first time in ages and just thought how slow it plodded along, could have done with a bit of a faster BPM and different production to make more of an impact. But it's a perfectly pleasant melody and just a safe palette cleanser after Jemini in a reliable pair of hands I guess, but it was never challenging to be a hit of any kind in the contest.

These reviews and the pros and cons are mostly spot on - great thread.

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3 hours ago, gooddelta said:

James Fox was one of the more forgettable but competent entries we've had this century I would say. I don't care for the song whatsoever, but I can see its appeal, and it performed fairly in the contest, it was no better or worse than the position it got. I listened to it just then for the first time in ages and just thought how slow it plodded along, could have done with a bit of a faster BPM and different production to make more of an impact. But it's a perfectly pleasant melody and just a safe palette cleanser after Jemini in a reliable pair of hands I guess, but it was never challenging to be a hit of any kind in the contest.

These reviews and the pros and cons are mostly spot on - great thread.

I actually forgot all about hin and Bigger Than Us, so it was like hearing new songs again when I did the fiest listenthrough lol My kneejerk reaction was to put Bigger high up, as it is a great vocal and I like the song, but I soon realised it wasn't a great entry at all.

James Fox was 100% a palette cleanser. They went with him to be completely sure of havibg a good vocal and competent performance on the night, r

to hopefully salvage their reputation after Jemini. Reworked, the song could have been much better than it was though.

No surprises yet, although I do have a soft spot for Jemini & Lindsay Dracass

  • Author

17: James Newman - My last Breath (2020 Cancelled)

Pros:

Suits him far more than Embers

Sounds a little bit like Ordinary

Sounds like a song that could be in the charts, even today

Cons:

Badly performed (out of tune and flat)

Uncharismatic

Yet another mid BBC ballad that lacks power and flair

If we were doing a ranking based just on the STUDIO versions and videos, this could have an argument for placing top 10... As it happens, we're not and it falls way short. In 2020, the BBC decided to send John Newman's brother, James, to the concert with another ballad, following a string of ballads they sent in the late 10s. I found this song hard to place; first, I had it as a double A-seed with Embers, but then I took it OUT of the ranking, before finally putting it back in as a separate entry. The problem is the contest itself was cancelled; however, we cannot judge the song based on its studio version, and so we have to go to some of the few live performances that we have of the song.

Sadly, the live performances are so much worse than the studio version. The studio version sounds like a song that could be in the charts today. I'd even go so far as to say that it shares similarities with Ordinary, which has been no.1 for many weeks now! Of course, Ordinary has more power behind it and a more emphatic and energetic chorus, but that's par for the course for a BBC ballad. Newman, on the studio track, has strong vocals. The lyrics are more interesting that the typical BBC song, but even then it still seems too mild for a Eurovision entry.

However, when sung live, we have more problems. James Newman's weak, breathy vocals are centre stage (again), and come across even worse than on Embers, as a ballad highlights weaker, out of tune vocals far more than an upbeat track. On one live performance, he was sweating and out of breath singing it, and it's a ballad and doesn't need much choreography. They might have been able to mitigate this with Last Breath, by having him standing completely still with a microphone, but his lack of fitness and charisma still persists. Also, if they had to go down this route, especially to try and improve his vocals for a ballad, then the staging wuld have suffered. However, I can't think of a world in which this song would have had worse staging than two giant trumpet horns, so swings and roundabouts.

It's hard to judge this entry, as it was never sent. I like the song, and I think they could have probably got a mid-table position with it, but the problems with James Arthur as a performer remain, and YET ANOTHER ballad from the BBC, following the late 00s, meant that the theme was well worn-through by this time.

It's a safe entry, it plays well to James Newman's strengths, the song is well-crafed and solid enough, but without it ever having been performed on a Eurovision stage, the weak, out of tune vocals, and being yet another ballad following years of the same, it would be hard to put it much higher in the ranking.

certainly preferred Embers a lot more than My Last Breath x

  • Author
10 hours ago, Iz 🌟 said:

Bigger Than Us would be my last place. Sent at a time when we should have been fatigued from that kind of soppy winners ballad, X Factor was passé half a decade before it. There is just nothing appealing about it, it seems like the perfect reason why the UK public hasn't had a hand in choosing our entry since.

I wouldn't even compare it to Storm, that at least has a couple of mildly interesting things going on with the backing track.

and then James Fox isn't great but bringing a guitar on stage isn't a bad thing.

You're probably reet tbh, especially when we had Sweet Lies!! BBC would definitely have sent that if it was an internal selection, but the public wanted X Factor... That's probably why they got rid of the competition.

3 hours ago, Big Fat Sue said:

I actually forgot all about hin and Bigger Than Us, so it was like hearing new songs again when I did the fiest listenthrough lol My kneejerk reaction was to put Bigger high up, as it is a great vocal and I like the song, but I soon realised it wasn't a great entry at all.

James Fox was 100% a palette cleanser. They went with him to be completely sure of havibg a good vocal and competent performance on the night, r

to hopefully salvage their reputation after Jemini. Reworked, the song could have been much better than it was though.

I couldn't remember any other songs from the 2004 UK National Final, so looked them up and four of six really were terrible.

This song that came 2nd wasn't too bad though - it feasibly sounds like what Blue might have sent to Eurovision if they'd entered in 2004 and not 2011 (when they basically just sent Written In The Stars 🤣). Having said that, Blue's sound had matured a bit by 2004, this song is more like their 2001 material. I think this would have placed similar to James Fox, we certainly didn't throw away any hits that year.

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