From DS.

 

One of Britain's best-loved political parties has made a series of eye-catching proposals in their manifesto.

 

The Monster Raving Loony Party is fielding up to 50 candidates across the country at the general election.

 

Nutty Farrquha Perigrine Parker is contesting Welwyn Hatfield, Howling 'Laud' Hope will stand in Witney against David Cameron and Lord Toby Jug will take on Diane Abbott in Hackney North and Stoke Newington.

 

Among their 98 election proposals is a change to the way we vote in elections.

 

The MRLP questions why voters mark a cross in the box, as that normally means "that's wrong". They propose a tick.

 

"Putting a cross next to someone's name on the ballot paper is as good as writing 'monumental c--k up' next to their name," according to the manifesto.

 

The Official Monster Raving Loony Party was founded in 1982 by the late Screaming Lord Sutch.

 

This election the Loonies propose a knighthood for Ozzy Osborne, sending the UK's traffic wardens to Iraq to give tickets to US tanks and a minimum of two nuclear war drills a day, "to keep the nation on its toes".

 

Under a Loonie administration, government whips will only be used if a politician has been really bad.

 

"Minor offences should receive the political slipper."

 

On transport, they propose "dedicated pogo stick lanes on routes to centres of work" and allowing hovercrafts on all terrain, "meaning they can spread out, take short cuts and go on water etc".

 

"As they are inflatable, being hit by one will be less painful."

 

BA flight attendants will face new laws ordering them to cheer up.

 

The party also proposes creating 13th month, "to get all those little things out of the way, the things you just never had time to do, like take out the trash, vote in a general election, learn Latin".

 

The Loonies have been boosted this year by a sponsorship deal with bookmaker William Hill.

 

The party will be renamed as the Monster Raving Loony William Hill Party as part the deal which also offered every candidate the opportunity to win back their £500 deposit by placing a bet on the number of votes they poll.

 

However, the main parties have little to fear.

 

In a press release the Loonies said:

 

"No member of the Loony Party has ever managed to retain a deposit, let alone be elected, and Lord Sutch was always adamant that if a candidate did manage to win a seat in parliament he would be drummed out of the party!"

 

William Hill said they are proud to be associated with Britain's most colourful party.

 

"We believe that parties like the Loony Party are an essential part of British democracy and eccentricity and that the world would be a poorer place if there was no room in politics for a little harmless levity," said William Hill media relations director Graham Sharpe.

 

"We have agreed a substantial sponsorship deal with the party which includes a change of name during the general election campaign to reflect our involvement with them."

 

Screaming Lord Sutch stood unsuccessfully for election to parliament on a record 41 occasions and died in 1999.

 

 

Gotta love the MRLP

 

 

Having said that previous policies included all day opening for pubs and lowering the voting age to 18.

Edited April 16, 201015 yr by Severin

New ICM poll shows 23% of people have switched their allegiances after the debate, with 54% of those people switching to the Lib Dems, 17% to Labour and 13% to the Tories. Overall, the Tories are now on 35% (unchanged), Labour on 28% (down one) and Lib Dems on 24% (up three).

Where do you get these mystical 'majority of 48/60' figures from Craig/Chris? :lol: Do you just pull them out of thin air? Do you have any idea what Cameron will need to DO to get these figures? He'll need to win the next two debates very, very comfortably (moreso than Clegg won last night) to get anything NEAR the sort of swing required to gain the 200 seats needed for the sorts of majorities you're inventing for him! :/

 

'The greens and UKIP never do anything outside of Euro elections, if this was a Euro election I would include them too.

 

Also Greens and UKIP are single issue parties on issues that have little relevance in a general election (environment and Europe) whereas immigration will be the 2nd biggest issue this election after economy maybe even the biggest so I think given the importance of immigration in this election and the fact that the BNP could get 5-10% of the vote IMHO that Griffin taking part in the debates is a relevant matter'

 

Absolute crap. If you were paying any attention to the news today you'd know the Greens aren't a single issue party (although fair enough on UKIP), and the BNP finished behind both parties at last year's European election and far behind the both of them in the 2005 elections! There is no cogent argument for Griffin taking part in these elections, and the BNP aren't going to get anywhere NEAR 5% of the vote.

Absolute crap. If you were paying any attention to the news today you'd know the Greens aren't a single issue party (although fair enough on UKIP), and the BNP finished behind both parties at last year's European election and far behind the both of them in the 2005 elections! There is no cogent argument for Griffin taking part in these elections, and the BNP aren't going to get anywhere NEAR 5% of the vote.

 

Yeah, I found what Craig was saying very strange. He seemed to be saying Griffin had a right to take part in these debates because the BNP does better than UKIP and the Greens in general elections, but this just isn't true - the BNP does even worse in GEs than they do in European/local polls (which is totally logical; the higher turnout blunts the impact of the few racist/ignorant idiots). In 2005, they got 0.7% of the vote, coming behind not just UKIP and Greens but also the SNP and Democratic Unionists, so why is Griffin entitled to more exposure than any of those others?

i wouldnt have a problem with the bnp, greens and ukip debating alongside the big three... it might put people off using them as a protest vote!

 

And having Caroline there would stop it being a total sausage fest :kink:

 

---

 

The top 9 parties at the last election were:

 

01. Labour 35.3%

02. Conservative 32.3%

03. Liberal Democrats 22.1%

04. UKIP 2.2%

05. SNP 1.5%

06. Green 1.0%

07. Democratic Unionist 0.9%

08. BNP 0.7%

09. Plaid Cymru 0.6%

 

I think that BNP will make quite significant gains, but I can't see them winning a seat, I also think that the nationalist parties (perhaps the SNP) will start to decline in popularity. I wonder if BNP could end up 5th? What does everyone else think?

The SNP will probably make a few gains off of Labour in Scotland. UKIP will likely see a fall in their share of the vote. I predict roughly the following off the back of yesterday (with very little certainty before people start bitching!):

 

1 - Conservatives - 33%

2 - Labour - 31%

3 - Lib Dems - 28%

4 - SNP - 2%

5 - Greens - 1.5%

6 - BNP - 1.5%

7 - UKIP - 1%

8 - DUP - 1%

9 - Plaid Cymru - 1%

 

Roughly, anyway (I am fully aware that adds up to 100% and that there are other parties, I've rounded up/down for a few :P)

Really? The SNP have run this country to the ground. If the Scottish public have a grain off common sense left they won't be voting SNP.

 

But this is scotland, and that lovely independence policy does draw in the f***wits.

Really? The SNP have run this country to the ground. If the Scottish public have a grain off common sense left they won't be voting SNP.

 

But this is scotland, and that lovely independence policy does draw in the f***wits.

I was thinking it would be mainly the independence policy that would result in a boost :P

However, their long list of failures and f***-ups in Holyrood should be enough to count against that.

 

I doubt it tho :(

 

 

The STV debate on Tuesday should be interesting, its the Scottish leaders of the 3main parties and smarmy cuntface himself.

Where do you get these mystical 'majority of 48/60' figures from Craig/Chris? :lol: Do you just pull them out of thin air? Do you have any idea what Cameron will need to DO to get these figures? He'll need to win the next two debates very, very comfortably (moreso than Clegg won last night) to get anything NEAR the sort of swing required to gain the 200 seats needed for the sorts of majorities you're inventing for him! :/

 

'

 

My prediction of a Tory majority of 48 comes from me thinking the undecided floating voters will realise at the last minute that Labour have had their chance and it's time to give the Tories a chance. I stand by my prediction of a comfortable Conservative majority.

 

 

 

 

My prediction of a Tory majority of 48 comes from me thinking the undecided floating voters will realise at the last minute that Labour have had their chance and it's time to give the Tories a chance. I stand by my prediction of a comfortable Conservative majority.

And you think there will be so many undecideds that they can simultaneously provide for the biggest swing to any party since 1945 AND have very few of them jump ship to the Lib Dems? Get real Chris. The 'Labour have had their chance' effect could benefit the Lib Dems just as much, if not more, than it will for the Tories.

I've just discovered that the SNP have a target of 20 of the Scottish seats, and that despite their complete in ability to run Scotland over the past 3years, last year they were by % the most voted for party in Scotland at the EU elections and they got 2/6 Scottish seats and were just 1% off the third :puke: Has there been any polls inclusive of the SNP?

 

I can honestly say i'd rather the BNP had a workable majority in Westminster than have another 4/5years of the SNP. Alex Salmond annoys me so much i want to punch the smarmy c**ts face off. If they increase their support in the Westminster elections, then next year i'm looking at a majority SNP administration and Scottish Independence.

 

 

I'm gonna go Vomit. :puke:

Oh well, I vote SNP and really like Alex Salmond. Go on Silas. I'm ready for your insults.

 

Are you Scottish by the way? Just wondered. Every post you make in this Forum seems to involve a pathological hatred of the SNP.

 

And you'd rather have the BNP running Westminster than the SNP in Hollyrood? Interesting.....

Oh well, I vote SNP and really like Alex Salmond. Go on Silas. I'm ready for your insults.

 

Are you Scottish by the way? Just wondered. Every post you make in this Forum seems to involve a pathological hatred of the SNP.

 

And you'd rather have the BNP running Westminster than the SNP in Hollyrood? Interesting.....

Sorry, they've made a mess of their time in power. How many of their election promises have they actually kept? I can count three.

 

1] Drop the Forth and Tay bridge tolls. ANYONE who wanted elected in the Tayside, Fife and Lothian region promised this.

2] Scrap the Graduate Endowment - The Single thing i take my hat of to the asshole for.

3] Referendum on Independence - Not that it's looking like it'll make it through parliament.

 

The man's face offends me. People say Cameron/Blair are style over substance, they haven't seen cuntface in action. The man could sell Sand to the arabs, however upon the eventual delivery of the sand [which would be 3-4years late and insanely over budget] they#d find it to be of shocking quality.

 

I don't understand why people keep voting for them, over and above peoples idealogical idea of an independent Scotland. [i'm all for using the Euro, i don't see the point in keeping the Pound when the exchange rate for the past three years has averaged out at about 1.1] They are a lying machine. Car's aren't the biggest polluter, they are. Greenpeace should be chasing after the SNP with all the hot air they spew.

 

They didn't do their sums properly and epic failed at their flagship reduced class sizes policy, they have scrapped the Glasgow Airport Rail Link AND the Edinburgh Airport Rail Link. it's shocking that our airports are only connected to the rest of the country by road, especially considering every one is banging on about climate change. Their insistence of pushing ahead with their independence bid is quite frankly ridiculous. I'm all for devolved powers, but this country needs the English tax payers to stay afloat.

 

No, i'm English. I was born on a German RAF Camp and 'declared' English at birth. I've lived in Scotland since i was 4months old, so technically i can claim to be Scottish. Both my parents are English.

 

I do have a hatred of them. Their main aim is something i disagree with entirely. I am very very very much pro-Union, and i'm still trying to workout how the hell the SNP think we can afford independence. Never mind the smaller issues like Defence, immigration etc.

 

Yes, i'd rather there be a BNP government in Westminster than an independent Scotland. Both scenarios will have me on the first plane to London Heathrow in search of a 747 out of the UK. [seeing as i can't fly anywhere from bloody Edinburgh without going through Gatwick or Heathrow]

 

I'll be clear tho on my party preference:

 

Lib Dem

Tory

Labour

*Large Gap*

UKIP

Greens

*Larger Gap*

SSP

Monster Raving Loony Party

BNP

SNP

 

The BNP disgust me in everyway. They are a bunch of backwards racists that have no place in the 21st century, but i hate Alex Salmond to such an extent that i'd rather vote BNP, not vote or Emigrate than vote SNP.

Good post but let's say the polls are the same on May 5th then I think election day will favour the Tories. People will decide to give them a chance and punish Labour.

 

I think the vast majority of Labour supporters are equally inclined (if not more) to give Lib Dem a chance. There are too many people like my parents that are put off for life after the Thatcher years. The Tories have a strong legacy that will put off a lot of Labour supporters. Myself included.

Edited April 17, 201015 yr by ScottyEm

Conservatives are not odds-on for majority for first time since May 2008

April 16, 2010

The Tories are no longer odds-on favourites to win an overall majority at the upcoming General Election, according to the betting on Betfair.

 

This is the first time since May 2008 that David Cameron’s party have not been above a 50% chance to be the next government. They are now 6-5 (a 48% chance) to win a majority.

 

A Hung Parliament is now 6-5 (a 46% chance), though Labour remain an outside bet at 19-1 (a 3% chance).

 

This is a startling move. Until now it has been a case of guessing the margin of the Tory victory, but this evening the betting has taken a huge turn against David Cameron.

 

For the first time since May 2008, David Cameron’s party are no longer the odds-on favourites to win a majority come what May, and that is a huge change in the betting markets.

 

This is a HUGE move in the markets.

Conservatives are not odds-on for majority for first time since May 2008

April 16, 2010

The Tories are no longer odds-on favourites to win an overall majority at the upcoming General Election, according to the betting on Betfair.

 

This is the first time since May 2008 that David Cameron’s party have not been above a 50% chance to be the next government. They are now 6-5 (a 48% chance) to win a majority.

 

A Hung Parliament is now 6-5 (a 46% chance), though Labour remain an outside bet at 19-1 (a 3% chance).

 

This is a startling move. Until now it has been a case of guessing the margin of the Tory victory, but this evening the betting has taken a huge turn against David Cameron.

 

For the first time since May 2008, David Cameron’s party are no longer the odds-on favourites to win a majority come what May, and that is a huge change in the betting markets.

 

This is a HUGE move in the markets.

 

It is just a blip IMHO

 

Clegg is enjoying his 15 mins of fame after the other night but when it gets closer to the time of the election people will start moving more and more towards Cameron

 

The novelty of Clegg will wear off nearer election time

 

I am still 100% convinced Cameron will have a comfortable working majority

It is just a blip IMHO

 

Clegg is enjoying his 15 mins of fame after the other night but when it gets closer to the time of the election people will start moving more and more towards Cameron

 

The novelty of Clegg will wear off nearer election time

 

I am still 100% convinced Cameron will have a comfortable working majority

And have you put your money where your mouth is?

It is just a blip IMHO

 

Clegg is enjoying his 15 mins of fame after the other night but when it gets closer to the time of the election people will start moving more and more towards Cameron

 

The novelty of Clegg will wear off nearer election time

 

I am still 100% convinced Cameron will have a comfortable working majority

 

nope craig, thats wishful thinking.... the polls are traditionally against the incumbent party but come the election people are still reluctant to change and the governing party always get more votes then the polls suggest. (97 being the exception)

 

i dont think the tories will win with a comfortable working majority, in fact i wouldnt be suprised if labour still wins.