“There is a choice we’re making

We’re saving our own lives”

 

38th - We Are The World - USA For Africa

 

 

8th - 1980-1995 heat

 

Average score: 14.07

Highest score:

40 Jason

Lowest score:

1 detonate, Roba, Smint, marcinjaro

 

Completing a hat-trick of Ws after “Walk This Way” and “We Will Rock You” is the (very) American charity single for famine relief “We Are The World”. Number One for 2 weeks in April 1985, this sadly held off “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” by Tears For Fears. It was written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie and is the 8th biggest selling physical single of all time worldwide. Apparently there was a “We Are The World 25 For Haiti” in 2010 which passed me by, and Richie wanted to do a 2020 version for Covid.

 

Well this is certainly a turgid and bloated number with far more musicians and vocal flourishes than necessary and lasting far longer than necessary, but as charity singles go I don’t think it’s really all that bad. It seemed to attract quite a lot of opprobrium in the heats but in the final picked up 4 voters’ 1 point score which helped it to a bottom three finish. And Stevie Wonder finally exits the rate after rather unfortunately having been nominated for all 3 Number 1s in which he has ever appeared!

Edited November 1, 20222 yr by JulianT

This was my favourite of all the tracks - gorgeous melody and sentiments, with such a range of vocals and really builds up over 7 minutes or so (can't remember if there was an edit back then). Yes it's Coca-cola like but at it's best.

'Walk This Way' was definitely the most surprising qualifier here for me so makes sense that's last (it wasn't last for me but it's a pretty inoffensive cover). 'We Are The World' is also harmless. 'We Will Rock You' definitely should be higher though, that's a more offensive cover x

 

W songs being given a big reprieve so far, I hope that won't also be the case for a certain other one.

Rona :lol: :kink:

 

I gave that 1 point. Really surprised that made the final here. Not saying it's remarkable or anything but hardly bad either for me.

“With silver bells and cockle shells

And putting it all in a row”

 

37th - Teletubbies Say “Eh-Oh” - Teletubbies

 

 

9th - 1996-2006 heat

 

Average score 14.63

Highest score:

39 Bjork

Lowest score:

1 Jester, JulianT, Chez Wombat, jimwatts, Dot, dandy

 

Where have the Teletubbies gone? Not very far, many of you will be pleased to learn. Number One for 2 weeks in December 1997 but the Christmas crown proved Too Much to ask. Apparently the 7-10 year market favoured the Spice Girls whereas younger children preferred the Tubbies. Despite being knocked off before Christmas it was a million seller and the 5th biggest hit of a big selling year.

 

The single was largely a remix of the theme song to the show with “Baa, Baa, Black Sheep” and “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary” interpolated in. Surprisingly it was shortlisted for a Novello songwriting award. I wouldn’t give it any awards myself, but in a list of terrible songs this emerged as a ray of laughing baby sunshine and earned the single pointer from a whopping 6 of us. I know who I’m inviting to my Tubby Tustard party and it isn’t Bjork.

Edited November 1, 20222 yr by JulianT

The Teletubbies not out at #40 after everyone collectively realised the travesty of them making the final in the first place?

 

THAT. IS. A. DISGRACE.

 

Oop swiftly edited post after poor brave iconic Teletubbies have finally been saved, far too late for my liking.

Yess go tubbies!

Hmmm, although I did listen to several tracks I hadn't heard before (mainly the pre 1980s), most of them I voted for based on memory. Having relistened to the Teletubbies just now, I would have given it far more points than the 8 I just did, as it is in all honesty, it's muscially a bit poo. Although glad the Tubbies do please a lot of people though and makes them happy.

Edited November 1, 20222 yr by Smint

Not a great start to these results, glad they were all in the final but three of those four were in my worst half :kink:

 

Wasn't a fan of the original We Will Rock You and Five's version was considerably worse, We Are The World is very boring and cringe, and although I get the Teletubbies nostalgia (the show was a lot better than the song!) they absolutely deserved to be in the final here because the song itself is rather lazy, terrible and goes on far longer than it needs to! Walk This Way was a bit of a mess too but that escaped the top half of my vote, expected that to finish 40th here as I was shocked it even ended up in the final!

Of course the Teletubbies theme doesn’t stand up as a serious track, and the edit between the main theme and the nursery rhyme bits is a bit clunky, but I was generous with my scoring for it as overall the whole thing is wholesome, and brought joy to a very large number of children, and it wasn’t designed just to fleece money out of everyone (looking at you, Crazy Frog…)

you all were brainwashed by the teletubbies I see :D this should be much higher

same as the GA/Sugababes cover, terrible

Had forgotten the lyric snippets so have added them in. :)

 

Today we will be losing something that finished 2nd in its heat! :o

We stan the Tubbies obvz xx

I got the Teletubbies CD single for my 4th birthday.

 

 

We Are The World should have been top 3 here. It's a complete disaster for my poor ears. :drama:

We Are The World is shit, it really feels like a mess of a million different voices in a way the original Band Aid managed not to.

36th - Turn Up the Music - Chris Brown

 

Average Score - 15.17

 

9th in 2007-2022 heat

 

 

Highest Score - 39 (marcoinjaro)

 

Lowest Score - 1 (Bjork)

 

#1 for 1 week from 07/04/12

 

Kept off #1 - She Doesn’t Mind - Sean Paul

 

“All I wanna do is party, so DJ, turn it up”

 

Brown’s first #1 (just over 6 years after his debut hit “Run It” was held off the top spot by the Notorious BIG) is credited with ten separate songwriters. Despite this, it repeats the phrase “turn up the music” 24 times and the phrase “turn it up” a further 22 times. The lead single from Brown’s fifth studio album Fortune, it only made #10 in the US. I would like putting someone with Brown’s past at the top of the charts was an aberration from the Great British public, but he went to on have a #2 the same year with “Don’t Wake Me Up” and has secured 6 lead top 40 singles since Rihanna last notched one of her own, including this week’s #12. Of course Brown has one more feature to come in this rate….

Too low for him x

Chris Brown as a person shitiness aside, Turn Up The Music is just super bland generic 2010s dance pop. Not a good song but compared to some on this list, it's musical sins are not that great. I would have ranked Don't Wake Me Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup higher if that had made #1 but thankfully it didn't.

Both were shit imo lol. He really lost it music wise for me after 'Beautiful People'. 'Fine China' was alright too I guess.

 

(and 'Do It Again' but that was Pia Mia song).

Edited November 1, 20222 yr by Roba!