Source https://www.instagram.com/robbiewilliams/?e=1a325e1e-4f3d-4c1d-b7c0-6f36087292d2&g=5

@robbiewilliams

Hail Keanu,
Apparently I’d been skipping leg day.
So I did 100 squats.
I’ve reviewed the comments in advance.
“Not low enough.”
“Too low.”
“Knees.”
“Hips.”
“Too fast.”
“Too slow.”
“Wrong shoes.”
“Wrong shorts.”
“Wrong decade.”
“Those aren’t squats.”
“They’re squat-adjacent.”
“They’re merely exploring the concept of squatting.”
Fair enough.
Still...
100 of whatever they are.
I wasn’t upset.
I just thought I’d show off.
😊
Namaste FFS,
Brian Jacks x

What a great idea !, I must get some BOWS for my bins

.@robbiewilliams.com

Hail Keanu,
Today I discovered that part of me is still nine.
I grew up on holiday camps.
My dad was a singer and compere.
One day I wandered onto a golf course.
Four golf balls landed near me.
I was fascinated.
Then the golfers appeared.
They shouted.
I ran.
Very fast.
I remember feeling mortified.
Cut to today.
I’m at a very fancy golf place.
On the driving range they have bags of clubs for people who haven’t brought their own.
So I grabbed a driver from one of the bags and started absolutely ripping balls.
Unfortunately, not all the bags belong to people who haven’t brought their own.
Some belong to professionals.
This is information I acquired slightly later than would have been ideal.
“Hey dude.”
“HEY DUDE.”
What I didn’t realise was that I’d selected a professional’s bag.
He realised before I did.
He came marching over.
I apologised.
Profusely.
Then apologised again.
Then once more for luck.
The fascinating bit is that I wasn’t embarrassed like a 52-year-old.
I was embarrassed exactly like a nine-year-old.
Same feeling.
Same panic.
Same desire to disappear into the manicured grass beneath me.
I’ve crossed decades.
Continents.
Tax brackets.
And somehow the nervous system remained committed to the original software.
The pro was probably annoyed for seven seconds.
I gave the incident a much longer shelf life.
Obviously. Here it is on Instagram.
The other odd thing was that Coco and Beau were with me.
Seven and six.
It felt strange feeling nine in front of a seven-year-old and a six-year-old.
You imagine that by the time you’re a parent you’ve left behind that particular flavour of childhood shame.
The other fascinating thing is that I was less worried I’d damaged the clubs
and more worried he thought I was a bad person.
And I’m beginning to suspect that confidence isn’t the absence of feeling mortified.
Confidence is having it consume you for 5 minutes instead of 5 decades.
Interesting.
Some parts of us grow up.
Some parts of us are still stood on a golf course wondering if we’re in trouble.
Namaste FFS.
x
P.S. I really want to ask him what loft he uses on that driver.
It suited me.
Is that taking the piss?

https://www.instagram.com/robbiewilliams/

Unfortunately, not all the bags belong to people who haven’t brought their own.
Some belong to professionals.

Some people get so precious about their stuff

Edited June 21Jun 21 by Sydney11

😅🤣😂

.@robbiewilliams

Hail Keanu,
‘When People-Pleasing Becomes Dangerous’
Which sounds like an ominous start to a post and like a 70’s governmental info/warning thingy.
Like that pylon one.
In all fairness, I never went up a pylon.
But then again there weren’t any where I lived.
So, we’re in a van going to an airport.
Me, Teddy, Charlie and Ayda.
The driver is driving what I judge to be too fast.
Me.
‘’I need to tell him’’
‘’But what if he looks back when I tell him and he swerves?’’
‘’I feel deeply uncomfortable about telling him’’
‘’I don’t want to cause a scene’’
In the end, I didn’t tell him.
And I’m writing this, so obviously we arrived safe.
But f*** me.
What’s wrong with me?
The kids, me, Ayda.
shakes head
I asked Ayda, did you notice how fast we were going?
She said the same thing.
I now will resolve to tell the drivers when I get in to go slow.
I am, however, the person that will tell people to put their seatbelts on in these vans or cars.
But by the time I’ve plucked up enough courage to say it, it comes out sounding angry.
It’s not. It’s anxiety and discomfort.
And I don’t want to sound like a square or ‘not cool’.
Imagine, you’re at the pearly gates and St. Peter asks you why you’re here.
‘’Well Pete, I’m really cool, so……..’’
Actually, I’ve just scanned my mind.
I do get angry.
I’m angry that I have to tell someone to please save your life and mine by not flying into me if we crash.
looks at universe 👆
‘’We’re not going to BTW’’
And that’s interesting *to me at least*
I told myself I wasn’t angry.
Because somehow that’s not allowed.
But we get angry don’t we?
Anyway,
So ends my Safety infomercial thingy.

Namaste FFS,
Robert Williams.
Minister of Wouldyoumindawfullyifyoudidntputourlivesindanger.Thankyou
x
P.S The Loft on the driver was 10 degrees.

Source Instagram

Source Instagram

@robbiewilliams.

Hail Keanu,
I want to write things.
I’ve temporarily run out of things to write about.
Actually, I haven’t.
They’re just not ready yet.
So...
What should I write about?
Last time you lot were brilliant.
Ask me questions.
Give me things to ponder.
Funny.
Serious.
Interesting.
Difficult.
Absurd.
Whatever you’ve got.

Please.
Namaste FFS,
Rob x

Source https://www.instagram.com/robbiewilliams/