:puke: HATECHART 2024 | RESULTS :puke:

 

One of the following will be crowned the 11th winner of the yearly Hatechart... get your puke emoticons at the ready :mellow:

 

HATECHART 2024 Shortlist

 

Badger and Natasha Bedingfield ~ These Words

Benson Boone ~ Beautiful Things

Camila Cabello ~ I Luv It (feat. Playboi Carti)

Central Cee ~ Band4Band (feat. Lil Baby)

Coldplay ~ FeelsLikeImFallingInLove

Creator Universe ~ I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday

D-Block Europe and Noizy ~ Eagle

David Guetta and OneRepublic ~ I Don't Wanna Wait

David Kushner ~ Skin and Bones

Drake ~ Family Matters

Ella Henderson ~ Alibi (feat. Rudimental)

Girl On Couch, Billen Ted and David Guetta ~ Man In Finance (G6 Trust Fund)

Gracie Abrams ~ I Love You I'm Sorry

Gracie Abrams ~ That's So True

Gracie Abrams ~ Us (feat. Taylor Swift)

Ice Spice ~ Think U The Sh*t (Fart)

Jimin ~ Who

Jorja Smith ~ Stay Another Day

Kanye West and Ty Dolla $ign ~ Carnival

Katy Perry ~ Woman's World

Kendrick Lamar ~ Not Like Us

KSI ~ Thick Of It (feat. Trippie Redd)

Kygo and Ava Max ~ Whatever

Myles Smith ~ Stargazing

NewEra ~ Birds In The Sky

Nicki Minaj ~ Big Foot

Taylor Swift ~ Down Bad

Teddy Swims ~ Lose Control

The Weeknd and Playboi Carti ~ Timeless

 

 

Tonight we will reveal the best of the worst...

Hoping Carnival is as high as possible :puke2: and Not Like Us is as low as possible...

#29. David Kushner ~ Skin and Bones! [16 points]

Most hated: Dobbo [+6]

UK run: {36}-50->2

 

#28. Jimin ~ Who [23 points]

Most hated: EmailsICantChase [+10]

UK run: {4}-11-25-32-47-48-51-52-50-40-41-31-38-48-50-74-75->17

 

#27. Girl On Couch, Billen Ted and David Guetta ~ Man In Finance (G6 Trust Fund) [24 points]

Most hated: gasman449 [+8]

UK run: (peaked below #75)

 

#26. Amazon Echo Dot 5th Generation Smart Speaker with Alexa Jorja Smith ~ Stay Another Day [35 points]

Most hated: Maestro [+10]

UK run: 75-38-26-20-18-{16}->6

 

#25. D-Block Europe and Noizy ~ Eagle [37 points]

Most hated: Mangø hø hø! [+12]

UK run: {19}-33-48-46-51-58-69->7

 

Finishing right at the bottom we have David Kushner. Bafflingly 'Daylight' last year didn't receive enough nominations to contend however its follow-up release slipped in. As another very dreary record from him we could at least be thankful it only lasted a single week in the top 40 and ultimately it was too dull to even bother voting for in the end for most of us.

 

Ex-BTS member Jimin managed a reasonably-sized hit with 'Who' through not entirely organic means but hey ho we're here to judge song quality. And the song isn't very good but again, this couldn't even make my votes as there was even worse stuff out in the year. It wasn't even the worst BTS adjacent song of the year really but the others only lasted a week in the chart so didn't have enough notoriety to get nominated in.

 

It is the year of our lord 2024 so of course there had to be one TikTok meme turned into a 'hit' single, in this case it was Girl On Couch who wrote the self-proclaimed 'song of the summer' by rambling over the instrumental to 'Like A G6' before David Guetta desperate as ever to stay relevant gave it a remix. The formerly voted World's Greatest DJ will have another song later on in the rundown.

 

One of the infamous Amazon Christmas exclusives released last year was a poor modern reinterpretation of the East 17 Christmas #1 hit 'Stay Another Day', a shame having come from Jorja Smith who had released one of the year's better hits 'Little Things' earlier in the year. And to be honest the original version isn't even that special in the first place.

 

D-Block Europe - how the "mighty" have fallen, only had one top 40 hit in the year as following 'Prada' the public have decided they have little use for their actual new material. 'Eagle' was another DBE by the numbers tune and even Buzzjack seem to not care enough to hate this as much as previous hits of theirs.

Mercifully Man In Finance didn't go any higher than 89 but I can imagine it would get more votes if it went top 40. It's like the whole Wellerman thing from 2021 done totally wrong. The original Girl on Couch TikTok was a total joke that no one would unironically enjoy, people really liked the original Wellerman Tiktok and that's why that remix worked. Sheer greed from Mr Guetta at this point

#24. Gracie Abrams ~ I Love You I'm Sorry [39 points]

Most hated: Dobbo [+10]

UK run: 71-69-58-57-41-38-37-38-25-21-18-17-19-11-{4}-5-4-4-20-27-36->21

 

#23. Coldplay ~ FeelsLikeImFallingInLove [39 points]

Most hated: !!! [+12]

UK run: 25-{16}-18-25-28-31-26-29-33-29-33-35-37-31-27-18-22-30-39->19

 

#22. Badger and Natasha Bedingfield ~ These Words [41 points]

Most hated: JulianT [+8]

UK run: 35-35-{22}-27-28-27-27-29-34-35-38-42-52-56-51-54-57-61-70-75R(2)->20

 

#21. Gracie Abrams ~ Us (feat. Taylor Swift) [43 points]

Most hated: Jason [+10]

UK run: {37}-37-44-57->4

 

#20. Taylor Swift ~ Down Bad [44 points]

Most hated: Jason [+12]

UK run: {4}-10-15-15-24-26-31->7

 

Gracie Abrams - perhaps the least essential out of this year's crop of breakthrough pop superstars and Buzzjack would agree as she features in the list three times to Sabrina and Chappell's none. Two of her dreary middle of the road tracks place in the bottom ten with her bigger, more offensive effort yet to feature. Her friend Taylor Swift is also here not just as a guest performer but also with her own 'Down Bad', briefly one of the more popular tracks from her bloated album release of the year.

 

Coldplayarestillgoingstrongcommerciallywiththiscomebackreleasespendingalotlongerinthetop40thanithadanyrighttoandwiththealbumsomehowsellingwellover200kinitsfirstweekhoweveritwasverymuchagreeduponthattheyremainwellpasttheircreativepeakandthistrackwasaverymuchinessentialadditiontotheirdiscography.

 

Badger Badger Badger Badger gave the 2004 NatBed #1 hit 'These Words' a remix to quickly capitalise on the revitalisation of her 'Unwritten' and naturally it spent longer in the chart than the original version ever did. Although it wasn't a particularly great remix or even a song that needed to get any sort of revival in the first place. Maybe 2025 will give us the return of 'Gotta Get Thru This' by her brother, now that would be more welcomed.

Skin and Bones + Who rightfully low down, should not have been included!

 

Beautiful Things already too high, come on y'all x

How is Stay Another Day not higher up? If you're going to do a cover of a classic, especially when you're a very credible artist, don't whatever you do make an utter b******s of it!

Only one of the songs I voted for is out so far, Badger far too low but it was only the third worst dance remake on the list so fair enough xo

 

'Eagle' is probably my 2nd favourite D-Block Europe song, I don't think it quite joins 'Make You Smile' as a second song from them that I'd want to voluntarily listen to but it's far better than their usual fare. Suppose it had to be on the list as a token although maybe next year they won't manage to release any songs that become relevant enough to be remembered for inclusion x

 

'Down Bad' was the last song I cut from my votes but it's not that bad, just very mid. I only listened to the 'Man In Finance' thing once so it didn't get the chance to become too grating for me, no doubt would have if it had become a proper hit though.

 

I actually liked Jorja's version of 'Stay Another Day', probably the best Amazon Christmas release to date for me (this is a very low bar). Gracie/Taylor song is good too.

good to see Taylor and Gracie both getting representation in this chart for being sh*t! ;o

 

hoping for 'Carnival' and 'Not Like Us' to both be in the top 10 where they belong :P

#19. Drake ~ Family Matters [47 points]

Most hated: JosephCarey, Mangø hø hø! [+8]

UK run: {17}-34-58->3

 

#18. Katy Perry ~ Woman's World [47 points]

Most hated: Viper* [+12]

UK run: {47}->1

 

#17. The Weeknd and Playboi Carti ~ Timeless [49 points]

Most hated: WhoOdyssey [+10]

UK run: {7}-17-19-22-26-21-15-13-14->9

 

#16. NewEra ~ Birds In The Sky [52 points]

Most hated: Roba's Sleigh, Maestro [+12]

UK run: 55-44-40-39-42-34-23-20-{18}-19-24-23-25-26-25-25-26-31-30-35-39-39-45-35-37-39-40-43->28

 

#15. KSI ~ Thick Of It (feat. Trippie Redd) [58 points]

Most hated: …ready for it [+8]

UK run: 14-8-10-8-{6}-9-11-19->8

 

The most talked about rap beef of the decade so far had to be when Kendrick Lamar called out Drake and a couple of subsequent diss tracks followed. Deemed the worst of Drake's offerings by Buzzjack was 'Family Matters' which saw Drake ramble for seven and a half minutes. Amongst the lyrics were various unproven accusations against Kendrick, who himself responded to the diss in a song that will feature later on in the rundown.

 

Katy Perry was once a pop A-lister and much-loved amongst Buzzjack however her new material proved to be both a commercial and critical flop. It was led by 'Woman's World' which was her attempt at a feminist anthem. Fans were disappointed with the track however for being rather basic and for her decision to continue working with disgraced producer Dr Luke.

 

The Weeknd has continued putting out the hits however none of his recent efforts have been highly-regarded here, quite a shocking turnaround from just a few years ago when he released two songs currently rated amongst the ten best of the decade. 'Timeless' however suffered from being a slow RnB dirge and for featuring one of the worst modern rappers in Playboi Carti.

 

It wouldn't be a complete year in the charts without a random no-name dance act getting a big hit that got on Buzzjack's nerves. Enter Irish duo NewEra with their one hit. With its pitched up vocals running throughout and not much to write about in the production it was certainly not one of the most essential dance hits we've had.

 

KSI had gracefully gone on a hiatus from music for most of the year presumably to try and sell some Prime and Lunchly to the kids until he eventually came back with one of the most memed-on hits of the year, originally not looking to do much the internet memes about its over-the-top lyrics soon helped it to a whole month in the top 10.

I liked 'Timeless' because the beep synths in it reminded me a bit of Alice Deejay.

 

The NewEra song isn't very good agreed, there was at least a version with some humorous Irish rap (Protein Bor remix).

 

'Thick of It' is generic production-wise but I liked the song.

As much as I don't like Drake I couldn't bring myself to vote/nominate any of his diss tracks, I thought they were some of his best work ever, unfortunately for him they were shut down straight away by the far superior Kendrick tracks. Hoping to never see him on the charts again now. Lemme hear you say "OV-HO"

#14. David Guetta and OneRepublic ~ I Don't Wanna Wait [61 points]

Most hated: Jade [+12]

UK run: 37-25-27-20-26-23-21-22-23-25-23-22-20-{19}-23-21-20-20-23-24-59-65-62-65->24

 

#13. Myles Smith ~ Stargazing [61 points]

Most hated: Dobbo [+8]

UK run: 12-14-9-8-7-6-6-7-6-7-5-{4}-5-5-19-23-26-25-30-29-31-29-30-32-36-29-24-32-43->29

 

#12. Gracie Abrams ~ That's So True [64 points]

Most hated: dancemberlexa [+12]

UK run: 19-3-{1}-1-1-1->6

 

#11. Teddy Swims ~ Lose Control [66 points]

Most hated: Nativity Scene, conorw, Jack [+12]

UK run: 60-53-66-59-49-14R(2)-6-5-6-3-3-4-3-{2}-3-5-4-2-3-4-4-8-7-8-17-20-19-21-24-24-27-27-30-31-27-29-28-26-30-31-30-29-26-25-29-33-31-29-33-26-23-30-37->53

 

David Guetta managed to get another cheap hit this year this time by interpolating O-Zone's much better song on "I Don't Wanna Wait", appropriately chart forum users couldn't wait for this to depart the top 40. Production-wise this was just a thin re-tread of what he made with 'I'm Good' so was rather inessential. We're surely well past the need for OneRepublic to be getting hits at this point too.

 

One of the worst trends of recent may well be the rise in "folk" singer-songwriter type current trend chasing hits capitalising on the huge success of 'Stick Season'. The most disliked of these by the forum comes from Myles Smith with his breakthrough hit 'Stargazing' (and he seems to be getting an actual push as an artist beyond this too to our collective disappointment).

 

Perhaps the most annoying song to reach #1 of recent times, 'That's So True' was seemingly the moment where Gracie Abrams proved she was alas here to stay as a major popstar. Her type of pop isn't really catered to my taste anyhow but this song particularly goes out of its way to be annoying and I despair that it has become such a big hit.

 

Teddy "Pineapple" Swims had one of the year's biggest hits and certainly suffered here from overstaying its welcome in the top 40. Although I don't actually think it's that bad of a song, just not something I ever feel the urge to want to listen to. The song received the most nominations but ultimately only a few here really didn't like it so outside the top 10 it is.

 

The top 10 as we have it is... from A-Z:

Benson Boone ~ Beautiful Things

Camila Cabello ~ I Luv It (feat. Playboi Carti)

Central Cee ~ Band4Band (feat. Lil Baby)

Creator Universe ~ I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday

Ella Henderson ~ Alibi (feat. Rudimental)

Ice Spice ~ Think U The Sh*t (Fart)

Kanye West and Ty Dolla $ign ~ Carnival

Kendrick Lamar ~ Not Like Us

Kygo and Ava Max ~ Whatever

Nicki Minaj ~ Big Foot

I didn't recognise enough songs in this to vote, but if Kendrick wins this...

 

Katy Perry should be top 10, basic song on its own but the added context makes it pretty irredeemable.

'I Dont Wanna Wait' is generic and not very good but the chorus annoyingly catchy.

 

'That's So True' I like and find rather charming, can see how the 'Oh wait I hate her' bit could be found annoying though. I prefer it to her other hit 'I Love You, I'm Sorry' which I find boring.

 

'Lose Control' I never really liked much, I mean it is technically very good vocal wise but I have heard that vocal style before with Alex Clare (on a better song) and Rag N'Bone Man.

Edited December 11, 2024Dec 11 by TheSnake

Big Foot for the win!

Kendrick as high as possible please, awful song

Realistically can’t see him winning it, hoping it’s big foot

Hoping the EDM Golden Era artist 'wins'.

Sonically that horrendous Camilla Cabello noise deserves to win, Minaj is lyrically the most hideous and also has a horrendous 'flow'. I'd be happy with most of those winning though tbh, particularly Benson Boone's rabid screeching or whatever the serious f*ck that Ice Spice thing is.

 

As long as it isn't Kendrick. The only seriously good song on this whole list.

Kendrick and Benson Boone should be nowhere near the top 10 here.

 

Whereas Teddy Swims and above all David Guetta should be well inside it. Every David Guetta phoned-in rehash of an old hit is so bad I actively have to change radio station even if it means getting up and walking to the radio (no I don't want an Alexa before anyone suggests!)