Well I suppose I should finish this dead dodo of a rate off. 54 current Eastenders characters, judged by the good people of Buzzjack HERE, now to be counted down in a mix of tedious commentary, a lot of irritating tied positions, and some generic photos taken from Google. Hurrah!

 

COMMENTS WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED IN ORDER TO MASSAGE MY EGO.

 

And the obligatory thanks to those who voted; Norma Snockers, The 411, Chrimbo Jon, Feel The Fever, Adam, Mikeyjosh, gooddelta, JakeyShake, TheGazElf, Simon, Chemical Halo, KJ Christmas Rob, Aaron, Jarkfrost, Snowman James and GramiClaws.

 

 

 

Anyway, first up and out...

 

 

 

 

http://cornerstork.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/crying_baby.jpg

 

54. Ben Mitchell (average score 0.53)

 

A truly DREADFUL score, this soppy little runt actually had a total in MINUS figures halfway through the rate, only picking up a couple of sympathy points near the end.

Horrible clunky acting, cringeworthy attempts at tantrums and strops, blank facial expressions...child actors are always hit and miss but this one regularly plunges new depths.

It really speaks volumes when a character who spent much of his time on the show as a victim of child abuse can still extract bugger all sympathy. Stella the ABUSER was more popular during that saga. It takes a special talent to achieve this, so BRAVO Charlie Jones and BRAVO Eastenders!

Edited September 21, 200915 yr by Shoat

LOL, a truely awful character, why the hell has he not been replace yet i dont know. Please let Abby be next and then i will be truely happy LOL.

LOL, a truely awful character, why the hell has he not been replace yet i dont know. Please let Abby be next and then i will be truely happy LOL.

 

SORRY :(

 

(As an aside on the Ben Mitchell abomination, has anyone else also noticed how the scriptwriters seem to quite frequently forget that he's supposed to be deaf? BAD EE.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radioassets/photos/2007/11/21/32035_2.jpg

 

 

53. Vinnie Monks (1.47)

 

Not a great score by any means, but still comfortably ahead of the soppy little Mitchell git.

Vinnie Monks was a rather desperate and badly-planned attempt to recreate Shane Richie. And it's just NEVER really worked. Whilst Richie may not have been the greatest actor the show has ever seen, he did have a reasonable amount of charisma. Davro doesn't, and the acting is mediocre at best. Add to that a complete lack of plots, and you have on your hands a total failure of a character. Even introducing his son hasn't made him interesting.

It was thus not susprising at all to see him bundled off the Square recently; the only shock being that they were wasting their time axing the likes of dear Yolande and the Millers first.

Rumour has it that he may well be coming back next year though, God knows why. One can hope that Davro himself buried that idea after he ripped into co-stars Linda Henry and Cheryl Ferguson on stage at a Barry Mainlow concert recently. Career SUICIDE. EE can afford to lose Davro. Henry and Ferguson not so much.

Edited December 13, 200816 yr by Shoat

vinnie was so pointless i dont know why they ever inroduced him to the show

I didnt actually mind Vinnie all that much -_- He was always a rather pointless character though and what he said about Linda and Cheryl recently was just distasteful. Abbi better be next :angry:

I didnt actually mind Vinnie all that much -_- He was always a rather pointless character though and what he said about Linda and Cheryl recently was just distasteful.

 

I suppose that's the thing. He's not a BAD character as such I guess, just one that's made NO impact whatsoever, and fades into the background even more than poor unlamented Gus.

Mind you, Gus stayed on the show for quite a few years...oh dear...

 

 

Abbi better be next :angry:

 

 

AH.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://apcmusings.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/tumbleweed_dunes1.jpg

 

 

52. Jordan Johnson (1.94)

 

Hands up who genuinely remembers this character?

To be fair, he probably shouldn't have even been included in this rate. But alas, I put too much faith in Wikipedia when compiling the cast list :( To my memory he has made approximately one appearance back in the summer, when EE needed a convenient plot device to spark off the thawing of the Lucas/Denise pairing.

Will Lucas and the Fox clan recover from their collective amnesia and recall his existence? Will he reappear in a couple of years time, recast with a different actor and with a convenient personality transplant when EE decide they need another regular brat child? Or will he simply never be seen again? Anything's possible with EE.

Although much amusement at him still beating off the wooden Mitchell creature and the washed-up panto guy.

Vinnie was a bit of a $h!te character to be honest.

 

My bets is Tanya will win this...

LOL, just generally make you go who? I think i missed the episode he was in aswell.

LOL, just generally make you go who? I think i missed the episode he was in aswell.

 

You didn't miss much. He just turned up, and spent a couple of minutes telling Denise what a wonderful father Lucas was... Lucas has obviously proven this by immediately after forgetting he has a son at all.

I think Jordan was on it the other day minus dreadlocks. :o

 

No surprises so far, three useless characters tbh.

I think Jordan was on it the other day minus dreadlocks. :o

 

No surprises so far, three useless characters tbh.

 

No WAY. TWO appearances within the same year? EE are over-indulging us.

Meh! The list is truly dreadful at the moment (Which means it's so far near correct :lol:)

 

I liked Vinnie i don't believe why he came in 53rd :o

I liked Vinnie i don't believe why he came in 53rd :o

My guess is that he genuinely is awful ;) :P

Abbi Branning surely must be up next :angry:

Poor 411 :(

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.solarnavigator.net/films_movies_actors/film_images/Austin_Powers_Mike_Myers_as_Dr_Evil.jpg

 

 

51. Archie Mitchell (2.29)

 

Well he's nowhere near as bad an actor or as pointless as a character as the first three. Praise indeed.

But I'm not convinced by this talk that he's the "best villain since Dirty Den". Archie lacks a proper sinister quality, and unlike all the good baddies out there, he lacks some good old witty one-liners. EE need to camp Archie up a bit; I'd like to see him grow a moustache for stroking purposes whilst he plots in badly lit rooms, maybe with a fruity cocktail in hand.

Hopefully things will soon improve given Archie is clearly going to play a central role in 2009; so many schemes and ticking time-bombs waiting to go off.

archie is a good charactor one you hate but cant wait for the climax to his storyline

Archie just isnt a good character though whichever way you look at it, he's a pointless vilen and really just not a very good one. I dont hate him, i find him an annoying waste of space. And due to how unpopular both him and Suzy are i cant see neither lasting long.

Loving the picture!! I quite like Archie, but there has definetly been better villains!

http://msp121.photobucket.com/albums/o236/Michaela_Flowers_and_kenny/childsplay.jpg

 

 

50. Abi Branning (2.88)

 

The 411 finally gets his wish. Just making it into the top 50 is the Branning brat. Tell the truth, this is the first occasion in the countdown where I'm genuinely surprised at the low position. Not only is Abi female (usually all that is needed to ensure frenzied worship on Buzzjack), but she also comes from the Branning clan who are generally quite well regarded. I do also think that Lorna Fitzgerald is one of the more capable child actresses on TV at the moment. She does well whenever the script requires her to break down whilst her parents bicker, and I think she has potential to be a good comic character in the future with her stroppiness. She certainly beats the pants off Ben Mitchell.

The problem I guess is that she is playing a precocious brat. Stroppy, fiery divas work well for adult characters, but apparantly less so in children. And Abi does have an unfortunate habit of defending Max and blaming Tanya for his infidelity and scheming. Heaven help Tanya should Abi ever discover that she buried her dad alive. Hissy fits all around!