Violence has broken out near the Frozen stadium in Ultraviolenceland as the country prepares to host the Buzzjack Song Contest Semi Finals.

 

The violence has been caused by some football ultras who were upset at the Ultraviolenceland national team losing their football match with Pupok's national team in an earlier match nearby in which a contentious winning penalty was awarded to Pupok near the end, resulting in Ultraviolenceland missing out on a Buzzjackian World Cup spot. Ultraviolenceland ultras started fighting with Pupokian fans, and there are reports that one Pupokian fan was punched in the belly button and has been taken to hospital, and their injuries are not thought to be life-threatening.

 

Ultraviolenceland is sadly well known for its violent football ultras. The Ultraviolenceland police say they are doing all they can in their power to quell the violence.

Edited February 13, 20179 yr by The Wise Sultan

Ultraviolenceland have commented on reports and have confirmed these are fake as football stadiums are abolished in Ultraviolenceland as the country has a massive dislike of football x

A statement from Ultraviolenceland has apparently denied the existence of football as a sport in the country, and this despite the terrifying scenes around the Frozen arena and the fact that the Ultraviolence national team are a registered team in the Buzzjackian Football Federation.

 

This is part of a series of bizarre statements that have come from Ultraviolenceland, particularly earlier today regarding last night's Lana Del Rey concert crowd disturbances there following the sound system cutting out after the electricity was stopped following attacks on infrastructure during Ultraviolenceland's ongoing civil war. Following this incident, Ultraviolenceland claimed it was fake news as there were too few Lana Del Rey fans there to have had a Lana Del Rey concert.

Edited February 13, 20179 yr by The Wise Sultan

In business, jade yields from Jadakissnia from 2016 have been released and it has been revealed they are 50% up from 2015. This is a result of King Bellsprout having ordered a new more technologically advanced system of mining at the end of 2015 that allows access to deeper mines that were previously inaccessible. In a statement, he says that jade production is a very important part of the identity of Jadakissnia. The Jadakissnian economy is said to rely 50% on sales of jade and jade related products to other areas of Buzzjackia. Sales of the distinctive black lipstick produced in Jadakissnia used by the military of many nations to protect against inhalation of chemical warfare biproducts in the ongoing war with Ethanola are also up, although with the war in Ethanola apparently coming to an end and a take over by neighbouring Yehesi likely, it is uncertain as to the future of the industry. It has been even suggested that the lipstick could have a future role in the cosmetics industry of Buzzjackia.

 

In other news, reports from Aesthetica suggest rioting over a new royal palace being created there. Some disaffected soldiers there have joined the protests with one speaking to Buzzjackia News. 'The money should be spent on the health service or education and not on aesthetics to boost the ego of the king'.

 

Buzzjackia News can revealed that Niceland ranks highest in the new standard of living rankings carried out by the Buzzjackian Union. Niceland, which was only founded in 2016 after an independence movement from the Titti Empire, which previously owned it as a colony, had 30% higher ratings than the next highest ranking nation of Buzzjack Mountain. The worst rankings for standard of living goes to Kylienips, this has been blamed on a plague of scorpions (which we reported on last week before we moved to this website) with big claws reportedly nipping residents on their legs and feet if they dare to venture outdoors.

 

And finally, we can reveal that Tim Bergling, head of state of South Danaelanda was apparently not very enthusiastic about the current Buzzjack Song Contest! In an overheard conversation with one of his officials the following conversation was heard:

 

The official "What do you think of BJSC92?"

 

Mr Bergling "Wake me up when it's all over"

 

Oops...lets hope this will not affect South Danaelanda's votes for its excellent entry this contest.

Edited February 13, 20179 yr by The Wise Sultan

Niceland are thrilled to have been ranked highest in the new Standard of living rankings, especially as they were able to halt the ongoing riots of Not Leeds for the survey week

Niceland are thrilled to have been ranked highest in the new Standard of living rankings, especially as they were able to halt the ongoing riots of Not Leeds for the survey week

 

Buzzjackia News can exclusively reveal there is overwhelming evidence that the riots arose over an argument in a pub over who was the nicest person in Not Leeds.

The newly elected president of North Danaelanda, Mike Hawk has announced it will be sending military support to Ethanola to help support them in the Ethanola-Yehesi war. This has been met by criticism by Sir Tim Bergling as Yehesi is an allied nation of South Danaelanda, and tensions between the two halves are expected to rise.

 

Sir Tim Bergling's publicist has also recently spoken to the press concerning alleged comments about BJSC 92, expressing his belief that the news story was faked by North Danaelandan spies to try and throw us off. Sir Bergling would never talk down about a South Danaelandan contest entry, he states.

 

The government is also looking into claims that North Danaelandan government bribed officials of certain nations to give us fewer points in BJSC 91 than they otherwise would have, leading to our entry 'Unbreakable' underperforming.

The North Danaelanda leader Mike Hawk has made scathing comments about Sir Tim Bergling, calling him two faced and cowardly, stating that he supported Ethanola up to recently but has now turned it's back on the nation 'being too scared for a fight' against the Yehesi-Titti Empire coalition.

 

In entertainment news, all the celebrities of Buzzjackia were present in Ultraviolenceland's Frozen Stadium last night, including Sir Tim Bergling, who performed, releasing his new collaboration with Idina Menzel simply entitled 'It's cold', which now tops the bTunes chart in 20 Buzzjackian countries. Other key events include 2,000 huge Brie cheese wheels which were rolled in by caterers from Persephonia, to be served with cucumbers from Aeroche and tequila from Pupok. Regarding the latter, there have been 500,000 complaints from across Buzzjackia to the Buzzjackian Broadcasting Union, which organises the Buzzjack Song Contest over scenes that were aired showing tequila being poured into the Pupok entry's belly button in the green room before the watershed. Medhelnian campaigner and government member Mary Whitetrance says it is disgraceful to show these scenes involving alcohol at a time when children may have been watching. A Pupok spokeswoman has stated that "It is typical that Medhelnia, well known for its meddling in affairs nothing to do with it has chosen to make those comments. Pouring tequila into belly buttons is a part of Pupokian culture and is no way inappropriate to show before the watershed, in fact, Ms Whitetrance's comments are discriminatory towards Pupokian culture".

Edited February 13, 20179 yr by The Wise Sultan

Trifoski Song Contest Chairman and Director of Operations SevenSeize, has today made the decision to purchase a regular cappuccino as opposed to a regular latte.

There is peace internally in Séyetana, increasing our imperial authority by a ton, and our needs transcend far above the common Buzzjack populace, as we sip expensive drinks with our allies from Altyr Muunilinst and Persephonia (among other ascended nations) and watch the petty squabbles of the world below.

 

We did receive a diplomatic insult from Ramrynia and now have a Casus Belli against them but no matter, they can wait their turn to be destroyed.

Sir Tim Bergling denies having any involvement of the Idina Menzel hit single 'It's Cold'. An Ultraviolenceland news reporter secretly caught him saying "Let It Go is the worst song ever made, and making a song with the singer of that is the last thing I would ever do". He is now being protected inside the most expensive bulletproof hotel in Ultraviolenceland, fearing for his safety as these comments will likely spark nationwide protests. Of course, he has one of the best bodyguard teams in Buzzjackia so nothing bad will happen.

 

His official statement reads "You should not confuse me with the rising Ultraviolencish producer Tim Burgling. Our names may be pronounced the same but are spelt differently. I plan to sue the shit out of him, like I sued the shit out of Leona Lewis for daring to release 'Collide' without giving me any credit (#stillbitter)."

Wait why am O siddenly at war with Ethanola? Bitch stip making my wars up, I am in enough as it is already

Your government tried to cover the Ethanola-Yehesi war up but Buzzjack Mountain news reporters see all :o

Buzzjack Mountain is known for their anti-titti propaganda, after we shut their attempt at war down, so I would take whatever they say with a pinch of salt

Medhelnia have given everyone free cake in celebration of their latest entry Easy Go, which we are expecting to qualify for us :cheer:

Yehesi officials have notified Ethanola that there is no attempt at war going on. However, due to the instigating Buzzjack Mountain is now in the danger zone, meaning its citizens are no longer welcome and are asked to leave the country within a week. Buzzjack Mountains citizens are in Yehesi in big numbers due to our excellent health care and for safety reasons.

 

Besides Buzzjack Mountain, South Danaelanda has also been moved down to the "friendly" list, instead of "allied" countries. This means the embassy will be moved to a regular sized office, as well as special priviliges for inhabitants of South Danaelanda being diminished.

 

The relationship with North Danaelanda will remain unaffected by its Southern counterparts action. In fact, the countries relationship is stronger than ever

Buzzjack Mountain is known for their anti-titti propaganda, after we shut their attempt at war down, so I would take whatever they say with a pinch of salt

 

Buzzjackia News is, while being run from an office on Buzzjack Mountain, run by a range of journalists from across the Buzzjackian world and is impartial enough to have even criticised Buzzjack Mountain in the past.

 

Buzzjackia News quotes facts from various other sources and these are not its opinion.

Edited February 13, 20179 yr by The Wise Sultan

There have been more riots in Not Leeds now that it has come to public attention that Nicelandic BJSC entry NINA is in fact an immigrant from Ramrynia

Buzzjackia News is, while being run from an office on Buzzjack Mountain, run by a range of journalists from across the Buzzjackian world and is impartial enough to have even criticised Buzzjack Mountain in the past.

 

Buzzjackia News quotes facts from various other sources and these are not its opinion.

Then stop making up lies. Get urself into these wars, but leave me out of them

FAKE NEWS!!!!1!!!!!