Agree with the comments that Boyzone and Westlife are more guilty of a collective mehness than any one of their singles being uniquely bad so fair at them missing out (although Mariah/Westlife to be top 10 please xx).

 

I hope Spacedust are spared a top 10 place, I have actually had that stuck in my head quite a bit since giving part of it a brief relisten when voting in this :lol: it's really quite fun. Same for Crazy Frog. x

Spacedust is one of the most WTF No.1s ever.

 

1998 was a year of classic singles and albums and for the most part really high sales, it's crazy that this snuck a week in considering the legendary songs released that year that peaked lower down the top 10. The closely named Stardust had peaked at No.2 with an all-time classic just a few weeks earlier, for example.

 

Gym and Tonic isn't hideous but everything about it feels cheap, tacky and like the sort of song that would be filler at the end of Disc 2 on a Clubland compilation because they couldn't get the rights to the original version :lol:

 

If you removed its first three weeks on the chart, it would be a far more believable chart run for a song like this:

 

1-6-16-34-48-57-65-73-65R(4)-55

Edited September 20, 20222 yr by gooddelta

It does for sure sound cheap and doesn't remotely stack up to some of the other more enduring dance hits of the year of course but I think it's kind of tacky in an endearing way idk.

Number 13: Spacedust - Gym And Tonic

 

 

Average score: 12.12

Highest scores:

25 jimwatts

24 …ready for it, xajnipi, Popchartfreak

Lowest scores:

1 dandy*, Jason, rio309

 

Number 1 for a week in October 1998 by production duo Paul Glancy and Duncan Glasson known as Spacedust. This was a effectively a cover of “GymTonic” by Bob Sinclar whose version was never properly released as it sampled Jane Fonda who refused permission. An actress imitated Fonda’s voice on the Spacedust track.

 

I’ve said before that I think I need a gin and tonic to get through “Gym And Tonic”. To me this track is like an alarm going off in the middle of the night - an unwelcome repetitive sound that just won’t stop. However it’s clear that others find it quite catchy and charming. It’s certainly unique in the catalogue of #1s, I’ll give it that.

Number 12: Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne - Changes

 

 

Average score: 12.41

Highest scores:

25 Jade, dandy*

Lowest scores:

1 MyKindOfLove, Viper

 

Number 1 for a week in December 2003, this was (mercifully) the only single released by this father and daughter team. On its second week it moved 1-3 as it succumbed to the epic Christmas battle between Michael Andrews and The Darkness, but in doing so it shifted nearly 150,000 copies, one of the highest #3 sales of the century.

 

Now I really do think this one should have qualified. I concede that it had the potential to be quite a sweet duet, but that possibility evaporated the second the extraordinarily grating vocals came in. I don’t know how they managed to achieve such a hellish sound but while Ozzy sounds like a woodland animal being strangled Kelly seems to have some weird echo effect added to make her blend in with it. Enough of you quite liked this for it to just miss though!

Number 11: Gary Barlow - Forever Love

 

 

Average score: 13.03

Highest scores:

23 Alex!

21 Leonardo

Lowest scores:

3 …ready for it, rio309

 

Number 1 for a week in July 1996, this was Gary’s solo debut and released the same week as “Wannabe” which knocked it off the following week.

 

How someone with so much songwriting talent came up with this as their signature solo effort I’m not sure. I couldn’t give it a high score as it isn’t particularly bad but a stone might have more life in it. I’m quite glad this won’t be sending us all to sleep again in the final.

So it’s not time for Tubby bye bye yet I’m afraid!

 

The final so far in chronological order:

 

1 ?

2 ?

3 ?

4 ?

5 ?

6 ?

7 ?

8 ?

9 ?

10 ?

 

11 ?

12 ?

13 ?

14 ?

15 ?

16 ?

17 ?

18 ?

19 ?

20 ?

 

21 Peter Andre - I Feel You (1996)

22 Teletubbies - Teletubbies Say “Eh-Oh!” (1997)

23 Cliff Richard - The Millennium Prayer (1999)

24 Five & Queen - We Will Rock You (2000)

25 Mariah Carey featuring Westlife - Against All Odds (2000)

26 Will Young & Gareth Gates - The Long And Winding Road (2002)

27 Sam & Mark - With A Little Help From My Friends (2004)

28 Frankee - F.U.R.B. (F**k You Right Back) (2004)

29 Crazy Frog - Axel F (2005)

30 Chico - It’s Chico Time (2006)

 

31 ?

32 ?

33 ?

34 ?

35 ?

36 ?

37 ?

38 ?

39 ?

40 ?

oh that's a shame the diabolical Changes and the forgettable borefest Forever Love just missed out on qualifying but at least we got the real horrors of Millennium Prayer and It's Chico Time through (plus the god-awful cover versions of AAO(TALAMN), WALHFMF and WWRY, and Peter Andre's dullfest)

Justice for Crazy Frog!!! (And Chico)

 

Yay for Spacedust indeed being saved though and the Gary Barlow song honestly sounded fairly pleasant with the revisit though it's another one I think I may have been harsher on during the listenthrough. 'Changes' is pretty dull but I don't find the vocals quite as unlistenable as some.

 

Well anyway, I got 3/5 of my 'intolerable' rated songs through so not too bad x (and may as well call it 3/4, or perhaps 2.5/4, since Eamon & Frankee serve the same purpose)

 

Speaking of revisiting songs I guess I'd better go do that for the heat 2 stuff ~

Poor brave Teletubbies :( but happy with the other songs which have progressed.

Poor Teletubbies :( Your childhoods were all clearly deprived of these wonderful creations x Otherwise, a fitting top 10 with the exception of Crazy Frog and Chico which I personally find kinda fun x

 

'Changes' is utterly nauseating - boo hiss at that escaping the 'top' 10.

Not the poor brave iconic Teletubbies being considered worse than some of this other dross. Not impressive.

 

 

I didn't expect to be the person giving Boyzone their lowest score but that song just didn't seem as bad as the 22 above it in my vote.

Not mad on any of those but poor Teletubbies making it :(

the Teletubbies song is the 2nd worst after Cliff, just cos you were 3 year old when the song was released it and liked it cos of that, doesn't make it suddenly a good song ;D