Yay at the Teletubbies finishing low *.* Did not deserve to be here at all, and any doubters, you'll have to deal with 5-year-old me back from the past xxx

35th - Let’s Party - Jive Bunny & the Mastemixers

 

Average score - 15.40

 

6th in 1980-1995 heat

 

 

Highest score - 36 (Jimwatts)

 

Lowest score - 1 (DJ Cheeky Magpie)

 

#1 for 1 week from 16/12/89

 

Kept off #1 - When You Come Back to Me (Jason Donovan)

 

“OK Gazza, take it away!”

 

Well, it’s 1 November, so time to get into the festive spirit, folks! Maybe this isn’t going to storm the Spotify top 200 in the same way as Whamariah this week, but it did make the Rotherham based Mastermixers only the third act to make #1 with their first three singles (after Liverpudlian groups Gerry & the Pacemakers and Frankie Goes to Hollywood). Follow up That Sounds Good to Me (it’s lovely to be your own critic, I guess) reached the respectable heights of #4 the following August and they would have a barely believable 5 further hits after that before the novelty wore off. The songs sampled here? “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade (ofc a #1 in 1973), and Gary Glitter’s “Another Rock and Roll Christmas” (#7 1984, later replaced by Mariah on some download and streaming versions for obvious reasons). Permission was not given for “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday” (#4, 1973) to be used, so Roy Wood helpfully re-recorded his vocals.

Edited November 1, 20222 yr by chartjack2

To think this got to Christmas #1 and not Wizzard on their own :nono:

 

(I didn't overly mind Jive Bunny but don't care for it either).

Edited November 1, 20222 yr by Roba!

34th - With a Little Help from My Friends - Sam & Mark

 

Average Score - 15.90

 

2nd in 1996-2006 heat

 

 

Highest Score - 34 (King Rollo)

 

Lowest Score - 2 (DJ Cheeky Magpie)

 

#1 for 1 week from 21/02/04

 

Kept off #1 - She Believes in Me (Ronan Keating)

 

“Lend me your ears and I’ll sing your a song, and I’ll try not to sing out of key”

 

First Joe Cocker in 1968, then Wet Wet Wet twenty years later. Now the runner up from the second series of Pop Idol joins forces with the third placed finisher to cover the Ringo-led call for platonic unity and take it to the top of the charts. The Fab Four had actually charted with WALHFMF before, as a double A-Side with Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, but this had only made #63 in October 1978. Sam (Nixon, from Barnsley) and Mark (Rhodes, from Walsall) scored a solitary further top 20 hit before 2004 was out before making the wise decision to move into a very successful career in children’s television. To date, this is the last #1 composed by Lennon-McCartney.

Edited November 1, 20222 yr by chartjack2

I prefer the Will & Gareth one as far as the Beatles covers here go, neither of them are really the absolute pits but the Sam & Mark one is pretty bad.

 

Chris Brown is too low but glad he is at least here x And Jive Bunny is a legend and we will all accept this one day.

Eh harmless version but not a touch on either The Beatles or Joe Cocker for me.

The Joe Cocker version is the only one of the three chart-topping covers I'd choose to listen to, mostly because that arrangement turns the original on its head. The others are just bland.

33rd - The Chicken Song - Spitting Image

 

Average Score - 15.93

 

 

9th in 1980-1995 heat

 

Highest Score - 39 (Popchartfreak)

Lowest Score 1 (AH Gold)

 

#1 for 3 weeks from 17/05/86

 

Kept off #1 - On My Own (Patti LaBelle / Michael McDonald)

 

“And though you hate this song, you’ll be humming it for weeks”

 

A clear parody of Agadoo by Black Lace (where would that have come in this rate if Careless Whisper hadn’t done the decent thing?), this was the first hit from the “cast” of the highly popular satirical puppet show that ran from 1984 to 1995. (A markedly less successful revival on BritBox has just been cancelled). Although previous #2 artist Kate Robbins appeared on the show with future #4 hitmaker Harry Enfield, the vocals are provided instead by Michael Fenton Stevens, former member of comedy group “The Hee Bee Gee Bees” who had tasted very minor success in Australia. The song was penned by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor who would go on to create Red Dwarf and its sublime spin-off single “Tongue Tied” which charted at #17 in 1993. As for Spitting Image, their only further hit came by way of a Christmas Double A Side, “Santa Claus Is On the Dole” / First Atheist Tabernacle Choir” reaching #22 seven months later.

Edited November 1, 20222 yr by chartjack2

Yess thankfully my 2 pointer has been spared as well! Deliberate piss-take novelty from Spitting Image, it's #1 status seems to confirm what it was mocking and I still think it sounds decent in a quirky way.

 

The Sam & Mark cover is just a nothing. I guess maybe I gave it more points than it deserves because the Beatles original is so great and this is a poor imitation, but under any circumstance that's a non-#1. That's 2004 sales for you I guess... and that Ronan song at #2 as well- christ.

 

 

 

'You'll be humming it for weeks' is very right with that - I've had it stuck in my head quite a few times since revisiting it to vote in this :lol: That was pretty close to the bottom of the list for me, hating it is the reaction it wants from you so I don't give it the satisfaction x (and I quite like the absurdist humour)

I gave Spitting Image very few points - it's catchy and fun. (I would have given Black Lace even fewer points as that was a cultural phenomenon)! The lyrics about casseroling your gran and disemboweling yourself with spears would certainly be censored nowadays for daytime radio (not sure if it was done at the time) mind! :o

“You’re the only one who really knew me at all”

 

32nd - Against All Odds - Mariah Carey Featuring Westlife

 

 

7th - 1996-2006 heat

 

Average score: 16.60

Highest score:

39 CJK

Lowest score:

1 …ready for it, gooddelta, Uls2000

 

Only four of Westlife’s fourteen chart toppers managed more than a single week at the top, and this was one of them. Number 1 for 2 weeks in September / October 2000, it was the first single from the “Coast To Coast” album and criminally kept “Kernkraft 400” by Zombie Nation at bay for both of those weeks. It started out as a Mariah only solo cover and her vocals were retained as the boys’ vocals and some violins were added.

 

The original Phil Collins song was my birth week Number 2 so maybe I should have a soft spot for this… but I don’t. The combination of Westlife’s heavily sanitised Celtic flavour and Mariah’s power vocals is unique but in a worst of both worlds sort of way for me. Nonetheless, the debate over which of the versions of this that reached Number One is actually worse is still going on…

Edited November 3, 20222 yr by JulianT

Steve Brookstein >>

there were so many worst Westlife songs

The Steve Brookstein version is much, much worse, and Westlife have far worse songs.

 

I bought this on CD single (the same week I bought Kernkraft 400, so don't fully blame me for it missing out, I at least balanced the scales back out), and still like it.

 

I am glad though that All I Want For Christmas Is You eventually got to No.1, so Mariah's UK chart toppers weren't just covers.

OK so we've taken a classic original song and got Westlife to horribly oversing it. How can we make this worse guys? I know, we'll get Mariah Carey in to do the worst of her whistle voice screeching on top. That should do it.

 

 

I really like this too. Mariah's delivery is great and I'm not a big fan of hers overall.

Against All Odds is just oversung and ultimately pointless, a precursor to those terrible X Factor covers. Steve Brookstein's was bland but that's the worst I can say about it.

 

The Chicken Song is iconic, if a bit tough to get what it's point is as it's clearly mocking novelty songs yet it was played and treated pretty much just the same as any summer novelty song that it was mocking!

“Even though it's been so very long

The memory of our love still lingers on”

 

31st - Save Your Love - Renée and Renato

 

 

7th - 1980-1995 heat

 

Average score: 16.67

Highest score:

37 Jade

Lowest score:

2 Bjork, jimwatts

 

Number One for 4 weeks in December 1982 / January 1983, this held off “The Shakin’ Stevens EP” (what a Top 2 that was). It was the first ever indie Number One, in the label sense rather than musical style sense obviously. Italian born Renato Pagliari had auditioned for the TV talent show “New Faces” and was paired with British singer Hilary Lester. Clearly it was thought the duo needed a more alliterative name. Apparently she had already joined another group by the time “Save Your Love” became big, and the follow up single “Just One More Kiss” only made Number 48. Renato is rumoured to have been the singer for the Walls “Just One Cornetto” advert.

 

I guess this is in the charming so bad it’s good pile for some, but for me it’s just bad.

His operatic and her pop voice are very jarring together. There are only 4 lines of melody spinning round and round, with the main lyrics being repeated in Italian and then replaced with la la las for good measure. Still, they look to have won the battle of the rubbish early 80s Italianate novelty acts…

Edited November 3, 20222 yr by JulianT

'Save Your Love' is cheesy to a toe-curling degree for me

 

Solo Mariah 'Against All Odds' before the revamp >>> but would still choose the original obviously