I give 39 if

I’ve just realised that 8 of my top 10 are actually in the top 9 - clearly this is going perfectly well

Not dandy* at the top of the voters chart for another poll!

Probably shouldn't be this high for that but meh.

Haha Dandy might as well just tell us the winner now!

I gave If 40 because when I listened to it I just found it unbearable. This dude just standing there talking. It's another case of someone having a hit because they are famous.

 

Ooh look, it's Kojak... let's buy his record.

 

Even though they don't appear to have a musical note in their body!!

 

EDIT: Just had a try at listening to it again... couldn't make it through the whole song.

Edited November 10, 20222 yr by CJK

No one has bothered to get 'If' put on Spotify / iTunes and there's probably a good reason for that :lol: That was my 29 pointer so like 'I See The Moon' ranking very close to where I ranked it myself here.

Haha Dandy might as well just tell us the winner now!

 

Millennium Prayer if I had to guess... :kink:

 

Pennyfarthings on the street riding

Motorcars were funny things, frightening

 

9th - Grandad - Clive Dunn

 

 

8th - 1952-1979 heat

 

Average score: 23.43

Highest score:

40 Mack

Lowest score:

1 Popchartfreak

 

Number One for 3 weeks in January 1971 and holding off “Ride A White Swan” by T Rex, this was the only hit for actor Clive Dunn. He was best known for playing the elderly Lance Corporal Jones in “Dad’s Army”, even though he was only 48 when he started the role and one of the youngest cast members. The older persona stuck, and even though he looks the part in the video he was only hitting his 51st birthday when “Grandad” was Number One, and lived for more than 40 years afterwards. Dunn had challenged the bassist Herbie Flowers (great name!) to write a song for him, and the song was promoted by Tony Blackburn as well as appearing on “Basil Brush”. Later “Grandad” became its own TV show starring Dunn.

 

Not quite sure how this outperformed its heat result so dramatically, but whatever charms the song has clearly were less well received by the electorate in the final. Aside from being terribly twee it’s a rather basic musical composition I have to say. Anyway I suppose this placing still makes it our favourite ever grandparent themed chart topper!

'Grandad' was just barely in my bottom half. Poor brave St. Winifred's doesn't deserve to be ahead of it though.

If a man could be two places at one time

I’d be with you tomorrow and today

 

10th - If - Telly Savalas

 

 

6th - 1952-1979 heat

 

Average score: 23.30

Highest score:

40 CJK

Lowest score:

2 Smint

 

Number One for 2 weeks in March 1975, this was the only UK Top 40 hit for Greek-American actor Aristotelis “Telly” Savalas. He also reached #47 with a cover of “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’” which sounds exactly as you’re imagining it sounds right now. Known for his bald head and deep voice, he is best known for playing the detective “Kojak” and playing the villain in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service”. The song “If” is a Bread cover, and the original is in fact rather lovely. The Bread version wasn’t a UK hit but the Yin and Yan parody of Telly’s version linked by PopChartFreak above reached #25!

 

If the Stargazers’ song is a prime example of a song trying to be funny and failing, this may be one of the most notable examples of an unintentionally funny record. In the video Telly stands smoking a cigarette while the lady of his affections looks understandably bewildered. One of the weirdest moments in chart history for sure but I’m not sure it’s really one of the worst.

 

That was covered by Westlife

 

'Grandad' lower than 'Grandma'? :no: unacceptable lol. Tbf as much as it's silly crap I still gave it only 17 points but most of these were crap in a way lol. Only my bottom 8/9 I don't mind too much.

Edited November 10, 20222 yr by Roba!

Grandad finished 11th for me so everything left made my top 10 *.*

So mainstream of you x

That was covered by Westlife

 

Thanks, just listened to it - sorry know you're a Westlife fan but both the Bread and the unfairly maligned Telly Savelas versions are much better IMO.

 

The Telly Savelas has to be the most SEVENTIES thing I've ever heard/seen, from the cigars and open chest and medallion, the grainy, fadey video effects, the sweeping strings and gushing sentimentality without any irony at all. At the heart of it there's a very beautiful backing melody.

So mainstream of you x

I know! These things always confirm just how average I am!

Don’t panic Calvin Dunn say

^ Hahaha brilliant - but has PsychicChartFreak struck again and is Telly Savalas next?!

 

Hah! Turned out right again :lol:

If by Bread is a drop dead gorgeous song. All Bread ballads are just wonderful, which is why they got covered so frequently, david gates was quite the songwriter and singer back in the day, but bigger in the US than the UK.

 

I will hear no criticism of Grandad :lol: It's a charming recreation of an older man reminiscing about the 20's and earlier in the century and is meant to evoke that period. Herbie Flowers was a hugely in-demand musician: he was in Blue Mink, a forgotten but fab hit pop group that featured Roger Cook, songwriter of many a huge number one hit, as co-singer along with the brilliant Madeleine Bell, solo singer and in-demand backing vocalist to many a hit record and tours for ooh 20-odd years;, he was on TV with Marc Bolan in his final band line-up before the car crash that killed Bolan, and he did the bassline on Walk On The Wild Side, Lou Reed's classic. So completely forgiven and I loved this record as a kid :D

I never knew Westlife covered the Telly Savalas hit until now