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voted

 

will be interested to see how the final results come out, is a professional but lazy cover worse than a dull original song?

Voting now - I was mostly just merging my votes from the heats but I did swap around a few songs that didn't quite feel like they were in the right order any more.

 

Heats 1 and 4 are both significantly worse than the two intermediate ones!

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Absolute final deadline of 8am tomorrow before I start work, people :)
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Voting now closed!

 

Huge thanks to the remarkable 30 of you who voted - now stand by for the results.

Edited by chartjack2

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Many thanks to the 30 of you who voted in the grand final - I know it was a bit of a slog ranking all 40 terrible songs but we made it!

What will be crowned the worst #1 hit of the last 70 years? Find out as we count them down over the next fortnight.

But of course being chart fanatics we aren’t content with a Top 40, so Ed has kindly compiled positions 41-100 based on the average rankings from the heats!

(41) 14.67 Whispering Grass - Windsor Davies / Don
Estelle
(42) 13.90 Come Outside - Mike Sarne / Wendy Richard
(43) 13.86 Tears - Ken Dodd
(44) 13.62 Cinderella Rockefella - Esther & Abi Ofarim
(45) 13.48 My Son, My Son - Vera Lynn
(46) 13.34 Turtle Power - Partners in Kryme
(47) 13.28 Star Trekkin’ - The Firm
(48) 13.03 Forever Love - Gary Barlow
(49) 12.52 When You Believe - Leon Jackson
(50) 12.48 Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby

(51) 12.41 Changes - Kelly & Ozzy Osbourne
(52) 12.39 (I’m Gonna Be) 500 Miles - The Proclaimers - Brian Potter & Andy Pipkin
(53) 12.38 Don’t Stop (Wiggle Wiggle) - Outhere Brothers
(54) 12.29 Toosie Slide - Drake
(55) 12.12 Gym and Tonic - Spacedust
(56) 12.10 Dirtee Disco - Dizzee Rascal
(57) 12.09 Queen of My Heart - Westlife
(58) 12.06 Just Lose It - Eminem
(59) 11.91 You Needed Me - Boyzone
(60) 11.87 It’s My Birthday - Will I Am / Cody Wise

(61) 11.85 F**t It (I Don’t Want You Back) - Eamon
(62) 11.79 Ebony and Ivory - Paul McCartney / Stevie Wonder
(63) 11.74 Crossroads - Blazin’ Squad
(64) 11.66 Every Loser Wins - Nick Berry
(65) 11.58 Swagger Jagger - Cher Lloyd
(66) 11.53 Be Faithful - Farman Scoop / Crooklyn Clan
(67) 11.52 Do They Know It’s Christmas - Band Aid II
(68) 11.45 The Time (Dirty Bit) - The Black Eyed Peas
(69) 11.41 The Lady in Red - Chris de Burgh
(70) 11.35 Marvin Gaye - Charlie Puth / Meghan Trainor

(71) 11.29 A Little Bit More - 911
(72) 11.24 Seven Tears - Goombay Dance Band
(73) 11.23 One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks) - One Direction
(74) 11.21 Do the Bartman - The Simpsons
(75) 10.97 Deeply Dippy - Right Said Fred
(76) 10.95 Puppy Love - Donny Osmond
(77) 10.61 Crazy Stupid Love - Cheryl / Tinie Tempah
(78) 10.55 Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston
(79) 10.53 Take On Me - A1
(80) 10.43 This Is My Song - Petula Clark

(81) 10.10 I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd
(82) 9.97 Baby Cakes - 3 of a Kind
(83) 9.90 All Sunmer Long - Kid Rock
(84) 9.86 Matchstalk Men & Matchstalk Cats and Dogs - Brian & Michael
(85) 9.69 Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love for You - Glenn Medeiros
(86) 9.59 Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty) - Oxide & Neutrino
(87) 9.57 My Old Man’s a Dustman - Lonnie Donegan
(88) 9.32 Don’t Wanna Go Home - Jason Derulo
(89) 8.82 Lonely - Akon
(90) 8.77 Start Without You - Alexandra Burke / Laza Morgan

(91) 8.52 All Kinds of Everything - Dana
(92) 8.32 Loca People - Sak Noel
(93) 8.00 Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep - Middle of the Road
(94) 7.86 Da Ya Think I’m Sexy - Rod Stewart
(95) 7.62 I Just Called to Say I Love You - Stevie Wonder
(96) 7.43 The Last Waltz - Engelbert Humperdinck
(97) 7.26 Eternal Flame - Atomic Kitten
(98) 6.48 Hello - Lionel Richie
(99) 5.71 Wand’rin’ Star - Lee Marvin
(100) 5.67 Mouldy Old Dough - Lieutenant Pigeon

Edited by JulianT

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Oops haha - well he did cover Martika - maybe Westlife would have been a stretch lol
Queen of My Heart - Eminem

Now that would have been an interesting cover. :P

Glad someone actually reads these things :P

“You ain’t seen nothin’

‘Til you’re down on a muffin”

 

40th - Walk This Way - Sugababes / Girls Aloud

 

 

10th, 2007-2022 heat

 

Average score: 13.20

Highest score:

32 AH Gold

Lowest score:

1 Alex!

 

So the official Comic Relief charity single of 2007 just scraped through to the final while the unofficial Comic Relief single that knocked it off narrowly escaped. Number 1 for a week in March 2007 before dropping like a stone, this held off “The Sweet Escape” by Gwen Stefani featuring Akon. The original Aerosmith version didn’t chart here but the Run-D.M.C. cover was one of the first ever hip hop hits, reaching #8 in 1986.

 

Well it may have finished last in the final but clearly girl groups are not entirely immune from Buzzjack’s wrath after all. Apparently Nicola Roberts wanted to cover “You Got The Love” instead which sounds like it would have made for a more wholesome track. It was Girls Aloud’s first single not to be produced by Xenomania, which perhaps explains partly why it’s so bad. I just don’t think it works as a pop song anyway, nor with so many singers and it quickly turns into a shouty mess.

Edited by Ghoul Jules

“As long as Five bring the funk, Queen bring the rock”

 

39th - We Will Rock You - Five / Queen

 

 

10th, 1996-2006 heat

 

Average score: 13.93

Highest score:

35 Chez Wombat

Lowest score:

1 Liamski689, King Rollo

 

Number 1 for a week in July 2000, this only made it to the top thanks to the format of 14,000 sold copies of “Life Is A Rollercoaster” being deemed ineligible. The track features Queen instrumentally only, May on guitar and Taylor on drums. It was the 9th of 11 consecutive Top 10 hits for Five and the only time the song has been a hit, the original not having been a single.

 

Another two band collaboration that just scraped through to the final, I suppose at least they tried to do something with this by adding the rap, speeding it up a bit and adding some random effects including a bit of rhythmic “yo! yo! yo!”ing. But it doesn’t really work and has a rather yobs in the schoolyard feel to it. In a year of 43 Number Ones this was justly forgotten as quickly as it happened.

Edited by JulianT

We Will Rock You wasn't exactly Queen's finest hour in the first place. That said, this cover is simply forgettable rather than truly horrific which is why it didn't get many points from me.

Oh I would argue that We Will Rock You is much worse than boring, the vocals are horrible and the rap verses are absolute cringe, I can barely get through the whole thing. I'd have had that much higher.

 

Walk This Way is also not a good cover at all and the vocals aren't great, but at least they don't try to add new things that don't work.

 

 

Surprised to see Gary Barlow's 'Forever Love' at 42 - I actually think it's a superior type of those ballads, the piano is more interesting than most.

 

I actually was a bit surprised that Queen teamed up with Five (especially as it's not for charity) - maybe it's the snob in me and you can argue it was to make their music appeal to a new generation. But raised a few eyebrows as Queen were considered more quality rock playing their own instuments and all.

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