This is my first re-visit to any year of the 21st century for any rating where I've played the tracks in question and shuffled them around based on what they sound like now rather than what I thought of them at the time, so this is a voyage of discovery for me too to see how my memory compares with the passage of 21 years or so!

For me there were personal losses that year, but also getting out and about pubs, clubs, movies and holidays when I wasn't at work in the Parks Department of Bournemouth Council, and trying to buff myself up at the gymn before I got too old. For the wider world, there was the massive Indian Ocean tsunami shocking the news, the start of swathes of humanity putting their entire life online with Facebook kicking off, while Play Stations and Nintendo's set the scene for many to spend chunks of their life online gaming in decades to come and shouting a lot in the process. There was also a summer Olmpics in Athens, ten new countries joining the EU, and my fave news item - Mars rovers discovering (and photographing) lots of new science about the planet.

At the movies, we had Shrek, Potter, Spiderman, Bourne, franchise newies and I Robot, The Day After Tomorrow as goodies I enjoyed. On TV some got excited by House, Lost and Desperate Housewives, but I got excited by news of a new Doctor Who series being filmed, Star Trek: Enterprise, and not a lot else that was new, but still loved Angel, Malcolm In The Middle and a few others. Music-wise, not including UK number ones, I was buying the first Killers album in Florida, loved Scissor Sisters and my number ones of the year included Good Luck, Comfortably Numb, Reptilia, What You Waiting For, comebacks for Agnetha from ABBA and Chrissie Hynde and an album track from Scissor Sisters topping my chart - It Can't Come Quickly Enough. So let's get on with the lower end of the rundown!

33 tracks including double A sides, the inclusion of the 2003 Christmas chart-topper, and minimal presentation skills, sorry!

33

3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes ( 1 week - 21st August) 2.5/10

I suspect some may like this one more than I do, what with its drum n base goes teenypop, but it ends up very annoyingly repetitive, the rap bits or the nursery rhyme singalong bits, the plinkety-plonk background. Didnt like it at the time, down low low, or whether or not I know know. Mixmag called it one of the best 40 garage songs from 1995 to 2005. Must have been quite a limited field. It sounds like some teens got together to have a go at making a hit, and lucked into a half-competent producer. Me not target audience I suspect. 2.5/10

Some properly horrendous #1s this year!

Still looking forward to this trip down memory lane.

32

Eamon - F**K It (I Don't Want You Back) (4 weeks - 24th April) 3/10

One-hit wonder Eamon crossed a cultural watershed with this track as the F word gave radio programmers a dilemma and it was the start of an avalanche of F-bombs in popular music. It was virtually obligatory in many genres from here-on now as artists could get that very-handy bleep or insert another radio-friendly word to maximise those essential income-streams while exercising their fluid artistic-integrity. The novelty value certainly helped this one get 4 long weeks on top, cos otherwise it's just a fairly forgettable Never Ever re-tread without the melody, class or lyrics. It's a bit plodding, it's just not anything else much. A whiny teenager gets stroppy with his unfaithful girlfriend and dumps her. Just playing her this song would have been punishment enough

Babycakes definitely worthy of that last place finish.

Aww the Eamon track is a bit of a guilty pleasure in a nostalgic sense lol but also can see why it would be very low on others’ lists. Nonetheless: Eamon >>>>> Frankee

My sister bought the Eamon single on import (she was 13) and I couldn't believe the non censored version. It was f*ck after f*ck. I don't have an issue with swearing in music for emphasis and where it makes sense, but that was just stupid and seemed to be the song's main gimmick.

Baby Cakes is annoying but stupidly catchy. I wonder if it was the last garage No.1, as the mini revival in 2007/8 threw up a couple of No.2s.

I don’t exactly like “Babycakes” but it would nonetheless escape my bottom few here.

Ditto Eamon - I don’t like it but it would beat Frankee at least.

I understand the 'Babycakes' hate but I find it a guilty pleasure myself and used to mimick along to it lol.

Never liked the Eamon track.

Aw I love 'Babycakes'

Eamonn however I hate with an almighty passion 😡

I was quite into that garage sound so love a bit of Babycakes (it was on the trashier end of that genre though x)

I would rank Eamon's one over Frankee's crass cash-in, but both are tiresome.

I would agree with the bottom 2! Babycakes is one of the worst number 1s ever and I despise that Eamon track. Eurgh!

I’d never heard Baby Cakes but it didn’t do much for me, so I’m ok with that in last place.

I was in Year 10 in 2004 and remember loving the Eamon song, not so much now though and I think I’d have in the bottom few, ahead of the Frankee one though.

31

Frankee - F.U.R.B (F U Right Back) (3 weeks - 22nd May) 3.1/10

And as if 4 weeks with an F-bomb on top wasnt enough Frankee has a go at the male-centric version of events and makes it 7 weeks in a row with her answer-record, a tradition going back decades, for example Billie-Jean had a cash-in ansa-track. Also a one-hit wonder, also bleeped, as an opportunistic cash-in using the same All Saints beat, this one at least wasn't as whiny and had a couple of decent put-downs, and another rubicon was crossed as STD's hit the top spot - catching crabs, though I suppose she might have meant a nice day at the beach looking into rockpools. I had to split the two tracks, though they weren't that different, but Frankee is a better singer and the production sounds a bit beefier on this one.

Both Eamon and Frankee's songs were such trash.

Babycakes wasn't the best... but annoyingly catchy

Not as bad but still pretty bad.

30

Mario Winans featuring Enya and P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know (2 weeks - 12th June) 3.3/10

I have no memory of this one as I play it. Enya's on it though, so it must be good. Ah, it's a sample. It's already better then the 2 F U songs. Better production too, and the ryhthm isnt quite so ploddy, but in comparison to other r'n'b tracks of the year this is pretty non-descript. And then Diddy pops round to help rap it back to his usual low standard. If Enya hadn't given her Boadicea sample blessing to the way-better Fugees Ready Or Not, (I suppose she wouldn't have felt obligated not to say no to this rip-off of a much better track), then this would have been a non-event. What a shame, that would have saved me having to listen to it! The best thing about this record is Enya, the rest is dull.

This one's not normally my thing, but I quite liked it.

'Babycakes' is a bit of a guilty pleasure

The Eamon and Frankee songs are a memorable moment in chart history but the quality of the music was pretty dire, so no qualms.

The Pirates did a much better response track for me this year... I go back to it more than that Mario original.

I'm not sure what else is still to come but I'm pretty certain that the Eamon/Frankee tracks would be bottom of my list. I haven't heard either since 2004 but at the time I remember thinking they were a real low point for the charts.

Out of the others... I wouldn't say I like Babycakes, but I do think it's distinctive enough to avoid being that low down for me. I like the Mario Winans track, not as much as I like Ready or Not but it's a nice enough track even if that is primarily down to the Enya sample.

Winans is OK enough. There is still some real pish to come that I would put below that and “Babycakes”.