Welcome to the latest in our meandering series of threads in which one of us ranks the UK #1s of a given year!

You may recall my ranking of the 2009 #1s from the 21st Century Throwback forum - well I'm stepping from 9 years after the millennium started to 9 years before, to bring you my ordering for the #1s of 1991!

Unlike 2009, I have very limited memory of the popular music of 1991 from the time itself. I do however recall many of these 17 #1s being played, sung or referenced in and around school, although that has little or no correlation to how I appreciate them now. It's what could be described as a fairly eclectic group of songs, but for the most part representative of what was popular back then. And although a song spending its 23rd week at #1 during the current year puts some perspective over the dominance one particular song had on the top spot in 1991, that song has continued to be well remembered for it and still holds the record for consecutive weeks at the top. Naturally it denied a few other songs from having their crowning moment - in total, 15 songs were held to peak in the runner-up spot during the year, but for a bonus as they come up, (every number 2) I'll rate them for you!

I have made one editorial decision - as 'Bohemian Rhapsody' spent 9 weeks at #1 on its original run spanning 1975 and 1976, I have decided it would be best to leave its ranking to those years and exclude its return to #1 in the aftermath of Freddie Mercury's death in 1991. Had I included it in this countdown, it would have been my favourite song by a huge distance - and my earliest memories of this song stem back to the radio play for its reissue that set it up to become what I would recognise as my favourite song of all time, a title it held for me from the mid-90s until late into the 2000s. However I have included the song it was paired with as a double A-side, and will rate that song in its own right. There is another #1 in this countdown which Gezza has confirmed as a double A-side for the purposes of the #1s of the 1990s rate he hosted in this forum a whole five years ago now - only the first side is listed in all the usual sources of chart information I use, but for what my rate is worth, I have ranked the two songs together.

As before, in case it needed saying, I will not be using AI for any of these commentaries - the words and opinions presented are my own, and if I can't remember something and haven't taken the time and effort to research it for myself, it probably isn't too important in the context of this thread.

I'll begin the countdown this evening, and should be finished by the end of the month. First up is possibly not the song (or songs) you might expect...

17 Color Me Badd - I Wanna Sex You Up

3 weeks in June 1991: 27-7-2-{1}-1-1-2-4-10-14-25-31-43-66->14

Kept off #1: Amy Grant - Baby Baby

#10 in EOY 1991

Weekly sales at #1: 45k; 56k; 52k

We begin this countdown, not with a charity record, nor a TV tie-in nor the result of some other flash-in-the-pan campaign, but one of the 10 best sellers of the year which had reasonable longevity, so (to paraphrase another artist who isn't last), what gives? Well in case there was any doubt when I did the 2009 rate, my ratings are subjective and I'm not trying to apply some universal logic here, so apologies if I end up putting down anyone's faves, or perhaps not-least-faves in this case - but this just isn't for me. Color Me Badd (what a name) were a male vocal group from the US whose sound came somewhere between R&B and new jack swing. This was their debut hit and quickly climbed to the summit in the UK, while in the US it stalled at #2, but their next two singles - including their only other UK Top 40 from later in 1991 - were both US #1s.

This was the first of three sizeable 1991 hits (the other two being UK #2s) to have "Sex" in the title, but despite the questionable placement of it in this one and its chorus, the lyrics are fairly tame - "making love until we drown" is about as far any sordid details go. Certainly in comparison to 'Blurred Lines' (to pluck an example out of thin air...) there's nothing outrageous here by today's standards. Some of the vocals are on the whiny side, but they're backed up by a passable groove. The main issue I have with it, though, is the key hook line, which is that "ooh-ooh-OOH-ooh" which goes most of the way through the song and I find quite nauseating to keep listening to, such that I can't wait for the four minutes of the runtime to be over - so for that reason alone, it takes last place for me I'm afraid.

The only song this held off #1 was for fellow US singer Amy Grant, and unlike the more common placement of "baby" in song lyrics, an actual baby was the subject of the song - Amy's recently born daughter. It's quite a sweet song and I remember it having some commercial radio play for a few years after, but would be no more than mid table in this list for me.

I thought that song was so risqué when I was a child 😂

The only good bit is the 'ooh ooh ohh' backing singing.

The Amy Grant song it kept at #2 is definitely better, even if it sounded a bit late 80s.

Edited September 1Sep 1 by TheSnake

Fair placing, not a song I have ever remotely liked.

Though like dandy, 15 year old me was shook at the word sex being used in a song 😆

1991 is a great year of music. Unfortunately, this is not mirrored by its #1's. There are only three great #1's for me, of which one is also an older song like Bohemian Rhapsody. I have to say in that respect that Color Me Badd has one of the better #1's of 1991 for me, which I would rank at 5. It is not a very big favourite of mine, but the beats are quite good and if you don't care too much for the content of the vocals they are quite catchy too.

Not a great track for me but I still listen to Baby, Baby quite a lot.

My memories of 1991 extend only to two of the No.1s here in real time. I was only four, but nevertheless two of them made a huge impact on me even then, which I'll mention when they pop up.

Looking forward to the thread!

Had a quick flick through the list and there are four songs that are way ahead of the rest for me. Will be interested to see where you place them ☺️

Looking forward to this! I can think of a few big favourites from the year off the top of my head, so am intrigued to see where they end up.

No qualms about that last placer! I'm pretty sure I discovered 'I Wanna Sex You Up' via Glee which was... not the most appropriate song for an acapella group containing both teachers and students to sing, lol.

I like plenty of new jack swing music but agree this isn't a highlight of the genre and is fairly whiny / irritating indeed.

'Baby, Baby' would've been the preferable chart topper. I cannot unhear it in Ariana's 'Santa Tell Me' ever since the similarity was first pointed out!

I can’t be upset at this being last, it’s a bit, shall we say ‘flaccid’. The only redeeming features are the intro and the harmonies. And using ‘sex’ as a verb, always irritated the language nerd in me 😆. Echoing the view that Baby Baby would have made a much better number one.

It was obviously thought a bit daring by the teens it was aimed at for using Sex in a song title and not getting banned - lest we forget, George Michael's I Want Your Sex was completely banned by radio in the UK only 4 years earlier despite being about the virtues of monogamy in the HIV era (one might argue a virtuous cause as opposed to a slice of urban teen pop with 50's doo-wop musical references dressed up as New Jack Swing). That said, I still like it, it's a nice tune, I enjoy the harmonies and the doo-wop vibes even if the title is silly and production is dated and a bit clunky 35 years on. Period-charm, I call it 😄

whether or not it will be last depends on what's left..(checks) oh my word, definitely not! There's one of my most-hated number ones ever still to come for a start! 😇

no sexing up for @jimwatts after this display! It's OK- mid ranking for me- there is much worse

I can only assume that Jim is including the better hidden second A side in his ranking of a certain song to come, which is surely otherwise one of the worst #1s of all time. Not that “I Wanna Sex You Up” deserves any praise either; it’s bad in all respects.

Edit: ah yes the OP confirms the double A inclusion.

16 Hale And Pace and The Stonkers - The Stonk / Victoria Wood - The Smile Song

1 week in March 1991: 10-2-{1}-2-9-26-63->7

Kept off #1: none

#22 in EOY 1991

Weekly sales at #1: 83k

Here it is then, the song I'm sure many of you would have ranked last in this, and it is indeed also the one which is part of a double A-side, although the other half is far less visible. Comic Relief was established in the second half of the 80s, and centred around Red Nose Day, one day of various organised activities with an evening telethon for the purpose of fundraising. This had settled into an odd-numbered years' event by 1991 - I have little memory of the first one, but the second in 1989 was a big deal, and its official single by Bananarama and Lananeeneenoonoo (Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders with Kathy Burke) was the first version of the Beatles' 'Help!' that I heard. The third one came around in March 1991 and I seem to remember the build-up lasting for weeks, if not over a month, as the public snapped up those red noses with the wavey hands to the side - you could even get a plain red nose for the car, which we did, and they were a common sight around town. So this double A-side comprises the two official Comic Relief songs of 1991, although I only remember the first one from the time, and it was only Gezza's aforementioned thread that alerted me to the existence of the other song!

Comedy double act Gareth Hale and Norman Pace were well-known at the time from their TV show Hale and Pace so it made some sense for them to front a charity single. The premise of the song is pretty ridiculous, with "The Stonk" being some imaginary dance craze. The chorus of the song was etched into my brain at the time and has never left, while I also remember the insertion of the word "stonk" into famous audio clips, from Bruce Forsyth to Neil Armstrong. Watching it back (neither side is on Spotify) is a pretty cringeworthy experience, and perhaps the verses haven't aged the best, but none of it was intended to be taken seriously. I suppose I can accept it for what it was without it finding it as annoying a listen as the Color Me Badd song, which is why it avoids last place for me here. However, some of you who were on Buzzjack in 2022 may recall that it topped a poll for the Worst Number One Ever which Julian co-hosted, so there is clearly a lot of shared disdain for it!

The other side from the late comedienne Victoria Wood is one I find difficult to critique, as I've never been familiar with it, and it sounds distinctly more low key, such that its status feels more akin to a B-side. The chorus could prove to be catchy with a few more listens, though the comedy element is generally far more subtly delivered than the other side. Ultimately it doesn't shift the dial on where the single lands for me. I'd still sooner endure these songs again than the Cliff and The Young Ones' version of 'Living Doll' as the first Comic Relief single, and certainly neither of these are as objectionable as the following year's Comic Relief (sans-Red Nose Day) single '(I Want To Be) Elected' featuring Mr. Bean - after which point, they sensibly decided to steer away from comedians and leave the music to the musicians for future fundraisers.

I quite like The Stonk - I found it always funny and considered it as one of the better novelty songs and quite catchy. Produced by Brian May of Queen. This was one of the #1's where I had some problems finding the original Single-CD. There are much worse #1's in 1991 and I would put this somewhere in the midfield.

Hmm, I’d probably have the Stonk last. It’s bloody awful with zero redeeming features.

Not much to say about The Stonk that hasn’t already been mentioned. It made some money for charity….

A pet hate sorry! The Stonk just annoyed from day one and got more annoying on repeat plays. Victoria Wood's side got no plays sadly, that might have made me more affable towards it at the time. I did buy the early Comic Relief singles, but this was too much. Donating directly was the way forward....

15 The Simpsons - Do The Bartman

3 weeks in Feburary 1991: 11-3-2-{1}-1-1-3-3-11-18-25-47->12

Kept off #1: Nomad feat. MC Mikee Freedom - (I Wanna Give You) Devotion; Madonna - Crazy For You

#5 in EOY 1991

Weekly sales at #1: 50k; 79k; 69k

Now we've got 'The Stonk' out of the way, we have... another comic TV persona whose talents stretched to a song about a dance craze. I'm a huge fan of The Simpsons from its golden age in the 90s, although without satellite television at my family home, my introduction to it came in 1996 when it was first broadcast on terrestrial TV in the UK. I do however remember hearing a lot about it when it first came out, and to start with the focus was very much on Bart Simpson as the rebellious central character, with his catchphrases such as "eat my shorts" and "don't have a cow, man", as well as copious use of the word "dude". This song seemed to play into this perspective, and was taken from the spin-off album voiced by the cast members in character The Simpsons Sing The Blues as a single in the UK and many other territories, albeit not in the US. The main voice you hear on the track is therefore Nancy Cartwright in the role of Bart, with additional parts by Dan Castellaneta voicing Homer. Bryan Loren was credited as the songwriter and producer of the track, although years later it emerged that it had been co-written and co-produced by one Michael Jackson who also provided backing vocals.

For those who unfamiliar with the show, the animated caption in the opening post is from a much later series, in fellow character Ralph Wiggum's response to Bart singing the chorus of this song. It is so 1991. Part of the reason it aged so quickly could be the music, which comes over as a lite version of MJ's new jack swing oeuvre that was coming later in the year, although Nancy's rapping is highly commendable. However I think the main reason is that the song magnified the one-dimensional perceptions of the show's characters, especially Homer as a barking authority figure, whereas the later series developed him into the main protagonist as the all-American antihero with his ever-redeemable flaws and the most quotable lines. That's certainly the reason I struggle to listen back to it - the show became so much more than this limited snapshot portrayed.

Two songs were held to #2 during its tenure. The Nomad song is a fairly archetypal early 90s dance hit with an MC who doesn't miss the opportunity to namecheck himself. However Madonna's big ballad of 1985, which had been held off #1 only by Sister Sledge's 'Frankie', returned in a slightly remixed form to promote The Immaculate Collection and crashed back into the chart at its original peak, and on this occasion certainly the superior song of the Top 2. It would get the better of The Simpsons the following week, only to come up against another song that won't appear for a while yet.

I’m going to be controversial as I quite like Do the Bartman… it’s actually pretty catchy and the MJ touch is definitely present. I’m sure it would be higher up for me.