I can see why some of you would have It’s My Birthday last, but at Will.i.am has some talent and is an actual artist, unlike the X factor karaoke dirge.

Both are awful in summary 🤣

36. Gareth Malone’s All Star Choir – Wake Me Up

Chart run: 1-7-54 (3 weeks)

Sales at number 1: 120,312

Year End: N/A outside the top 100

Number 2 peaks behind the chart topper: None

If there was one song on this list that I had completely forgotten existed at all, it was this!

This added to the Avicii omnipresence in 2013/2014 and added to the trend of the time of choirs/ensembles doing a charity record (see the Military Wives etc). I suppose it was only a matter of time that a well-known choir master stuck his nib in.

The worthy cause then for this ‘All Star’ effort? Children In Need. This added to an impressive line of number 1s for CIN, which has included the wonderful Perfect Day, S Club’s Never Had A Dream Come True & Have You Ever, Girls Aloud’s I’ll Stand By You, Peter Kay’s Medley and some gubbins from JLS.

Gareth Malone’s The Choir ran for 10 years from 2006 to 2016 on BBC 1 and was responsible for the previously mentioned Military Wives choir and a Sport Relief choir amongst others. Clearly, he had form before forming the ‘All Star’ choir (I have said choir too many times and now it sounds weird).

So, who were the ‘All Stars’? Well, Mel Giedroyc, Alison Steadman, Jo Brand, Craig Revel Horwood, Larry Lamb and Linda Robson to name but a few. The point being, I am guessing as I never watched it, that people with little or no singing experience were transformed by the choir master to a decent standard?

This adds literally nothing to Wake Me Up, it is what it says – a choir doing a cover of a dance song. It’s not massively awful, but its instantly forgettable (the terrible chart run and it being outside the Year End top 100 attests to its lack of musical merit) but it raised money for charity so what else can be said? End of.

Wake Me Up when its all over indeed!

2014 was the last of my uni years before my Masters and also the first year I travelled as I did some volunteering in Australia, it was an exhausting but very significant year and I have very fond memories of the music alongside it, it was also probably the last I was really into the charts before streaming took over, the Sunday slot went and made me rapidly lose interest (as well as y'know, having to actually start working when it was on), the lower sales did allow for some really unique number 1s and I was very into the deep house style of dance that would chart highly (something that has changed dramatically now!)

Definitely some absolute crap got to the top though - Ben Haenow is a contender for most faceless and bland winner from X Factor, I don't actually mind the original but he adds nothing to it, not surprised he was very quickly shafted. It's My Birthday is amusing, it's almost shameless in how bad it is, but I can't give it too much leeway.

I probably would put that Wake Me Up cover below them both though purely on song quality - it really doesn't work in that choir style arrangement and I don't think a single line is sung in tune! I can't hate it given it's intentions, but I'd be more than happy to never hear it again x

That's the one which is not on Spotify. It is no big miss - I am not into this choir sound. Only slightly better than the other two revealed so far and for me therefore on place 35.

35. Gareth Malone’s All Star Choir – Wake Me Up (36)

36. Will.i.am ft. Cody Wise – It's My Birthday (37)

37. Ben Haenow – Something I Need (38)

Just one song behind this triple horror for me!

Oh, I spoke too soon! That’s the worst so far. Aside from the charity, it has absolutely no redeeming qualities. Of course The Choir thing had to be extended to a ‘celebrities’ version!🙄

I’ll say it again……I hope there’s not worse still to come!

Edit - Heck, I just noticed Tilt says there is a worse song to come!

Edited September 29Sep 29 by Jaz13music

22 minutes ago, Jaz13music said:

Oh, I spoke too soon! That’s the worst so far. Aside from the charity, it has absolutely no redeeming qualities. Of course The Choir thing had to be extended to a ‘celebrities’ version!🙄

I’ll say it again……I hope there’s not worse still to come!

Edit - Heck, I just noticed Tilt says there is a worse song to come!

I guess Jester will have this up next. It is a very very very uninspired cover version with horrible arrangement.

I suspect I do have what you’re thinking of next. At least I hope so for the sake of my taste reputation 🧐😂

That choir cover just entirely sucks anything good or joyful out of the song.

35. Band Aid 30 – Do They Know It's Christmas?

Chart run: 1-2-12-3-17-40 (6 weeks)

Sales at number 1: 312,928 (highest of the year)

Year End: 29

Number 2 peaks behind the chart topper: Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne – Real Love (Year End 89)

I know, it’s the 30th anniversary of the original Band Aid. Band Aid 20 worked, hmmm, let’s do another version!

I am sure this sounded like a winner on paper, even if it was released earlier in December to avoid a drubbing by the X factor winner. To be fair, Band Aid sold 312,000 copies on download and would have given Haenow quite the drumming. Plus it would have been a better Christmas number 1 imo giving Band Aid a fourth Xmas chart topper, although at just 6 weeks on the chart, its hardly an endearing classic.

So, the idea was there, who would be asked to take part? What would be the cause? It must be WORTHY. The West African Ebloa crisis was the worthy cause (not be confused by the musical Ebloa, Drake). As to who was involved, why it was a veritable smorgasbord of chart lunminaries of the time such as One Direction, Sam Smith, Ed Sheeran, Rita Ora, Emelie Sande and Ellie Goulding. And erm, Seal, that chap off Elbow and Olly Murs.

So what lets this version down? I think for me, it feels so impersonal and insipid. I feel that the public are more attuned to how patronising and ‘oooh look at singers being worthy’ the song is and this version really doesn’t add anything to the original (Band Aid 20 at least tried something different with Dizzee’s infamous rap). The singing seems over stretched and drawn out so each singer can get the most out of their lines and it feels a tad downbeat overall and a bit depressing. I suppose that the reason for the song isn't the cheeriest, but that doesn’t mean the uplifting side of things needs to be ignored.

They did at least trundle our Bono for his infamous line this time, something Band Aid II missed – although I do love Band Aid II’s version and I will die on that hill! This version is a display of the laws of diminishing returns - its by far the worst version.

Altogether this could have been much better and I am glad that we have yet to be ‘treated’ to a fifth version of the song. Famous last words, but we will see.

A note on the song that peaked at number 2 behind this, it’s a follow up of sorts to the track that ended up as the year end number 2. I wont say too much as both artists are still to come but I really like Real Love and it’s a shame it didn’t reach the same heights as their previous collaboration.

I don't begrudge it going to #1 as it wasn't a bad version of the song and Ebola was horrific and scary.

I'm not really a fan of 'Real Love' anyway it takes itself too seriously like a lot of Clean Bandit and Jess' songs. 'Extrordinary' was better.

Edited September 30Sep 30 by TheSnake

Both rubbish ensemble songs, I can’t argue with the placings.

I like choir songs sometimes but Wake Me Up is not well sung, which spoils it, and the song was far too recent to cover, the original was still all over the radio at that point. So it just felt like a rushed, bad choice.

I did buy Band Aid 30 to support the cause but it’s honestly such a terrible version and nowhere near as good as Band Aid 20, which I have fond memories of. The production on Band Aid 30 is really poor and sterile in comparison. I also have a soft spot for Band Aid II! In fact I like all versions apart from 30.

I knew I can trust you. For me this is worse than the other ones as it totally ruins an otherwise good song. What a shit arrangement! Nothing works here - one of the worst #1's of all time - deserved last place for me!!!

35. Gareth Malone’s All Star Choir – Wake Me Up (36)

36. Will.i.am ft. Cody Wise – It's My Birthday (37)

37. Ben Haenow – Something I Need (38)

38. Band Aid 30 – Do They Know It's Christmas? (35)

Ben Haenow – Something I Need

Never heard of him and this song is definitely not something I need. Just the same tired old X Factor formula.

Will i am - It's My Birthday

Never rated his music highly. He was better in the Black Eyed Peas.

Gareth Malone’s All Star Choir – Wake Me Up

I don't care if it is for charity. Just leave that song alone.

Band Aid 30 – Do They Know It's Christmas

I didn't even know they did another Band Aid. It must have been around the time I started avoiding Christmas music. I am guessing the original gets rated higher than this.

Edited September 30Sep 30 by Charlielargepotatoes

Ah there it is! Boy this is bad, it’s like even the people involved weren’t interested in doing it either. We’d already had enough versions to last a lifetime, so is there anyone who chooses this one to listen to at Christmas?

I'd have the 'Wake Me Up' cover last - charity aside, this didn't bring anything worthwhile out of an already overfamiliar song which had barely left the charts at that point. Also I don't think saying "please buy this record" towards the end convinced many people who hadn't already bought it

Band Aid 30 would be next, again charity aside, it just felt like a parody of itself at that point with the oversinging, Olly Murs dancing in the video, and the poorly thought-out added Ebola references. There was also a Band Aid 40, wasn't there in 2024 - I can't remember much about it though - and the LadBaby thing in 2022.

No complaints about the other two - we could dream it was over for The X Factor, and my only memory of 'It's My Birthday' is that it was in the chart on my actual birthday.

Oh I forgot that 'Wake Me Up' cover was coming this year! I agree with others that it's a rock bottom contender, a poor interpretation with terrible vocals.

I vividly remember the release of that Band Aid 30 cover. HMV didn't stock many CD singles by this point in 2014 but this one was an exception, we had lots of copies on display. I remember the music video getting its premiere on the X Factor and the impact of that promo was huge, the forum was shocked by just quite how much it was crushing the competition on iTunes, back when LivePopBars was a reliable resource. But it was pretty frontloaded and didn't leave much of a cultural imprint like the first iteration. I don't dislike it as much as others (the second one is least appealing to me sorry :x) but a fair placing. YouTubers Zoella, Joe Sugg and Alfie Deyes being shoehorned into the line-up is such a 2014 time capsule

'Real Love' was no 'Rather Be' but I did quite like it at the time. Funny that we had two 'Real Love' hits around that time with Tom Odell as well.

34. Sam Smith – Money On My Mind

Chart run: 1-2-5-10-10-12-14-16-18-22-25-29-36-30-26-29-38-39-45-37-39-40-46-55-56-59-64-60-57-55-61-68-75R(5)-71-61-70-67R(4)-59-46-53-61-68-75R(5) (43 weeks)

Sales at number 1: 108,013

Year End: 18

Number 2 peaks behind the chart topper: None

Up to this point, Sam Smith had impressed me with star spots on Latch with Disclosure and on La La La with Naughty Boy. So, I had high expectations around their second solo single in the hope that it would be of the same high quality of the collaborations and not akin to the debut single from In The Lonely Hour, Lay Me Down which I found (and still find) dull and plodding, especially when John Legend is in the mix!

However, I was let down somewhat to say the least. I wont rehash what has already been said about Sam in the 2013 rate thread, but give some facts and stats on this song before my justification of this lowly position in my rate.

Money On My Mind is not, as first appears, about thinking of cash all the time, more of a critique of greed and materialism. I am sure Sam would happily donate all of their riches given this of course (?!). Interestingly given my musical preferences, it was co-written by Howard Lawrence of Disclosure and the song did have some success elsewhere by reaching number 4 in Ireland.

Despite being so low on my rate, this does mark where I kind of don’t mind the song, its just Sam’s vocal is so whiny and grating especially in the higher parts of the chorus when singing the song title. I guess I just prefer Sam’s dancey vibes instead of ballads and whatever this is!

33. MAGIC! – Rude

Chart run: 50-2-1-2-2-3-6-9-9-9-10-15-17-24-20-24-30-36-41-41-49-54-54-36-40-46-45-45-53-63-70 (31 weeks)

Sales at number 1: 85,169

Year End: 12

Number 2 peaks behind the chart topper: None

MAGIC! With a ! All in capitals so they are shouting! How exciting (!)

MAGIC with an exclamation point and in CAPS are from Canada and they fuse reggae, pop and rock for their ‘sound’. I think the reggae puts me off from the get go. They were singer/songwriters in Toronto before hitting the big time with Rude, writing songs for Chris Brown (hmm) and US band The Messengers. Rude tells the story of a young man seeking approval from his girlfriend's father to marry her. Clearly the father was rude. Or the young man? Rudeness aplenty either way. In reggae fusion.

Rude was a huge smash worldwide and was a US number one – I was a bit surprised by this, but in hindsight it does sound like something the US audience would lap up. They are another true one hit wonder in the UK, the second on this rate already, although not an instant number 1 which was becoming rarer in 2014, taking 3 weeks to hit the top of the charts.

The song itself is alright – its totally inoffensive but this just brings it into bland for me. Over time, I found it grating and annoying and reggae is really not my thing so that doesn’t help. I can understand why some like it though and how it became a huge hit, its very radio friendly.

As Paul Daniels would say - That's MAGIC!!!!

Money On My Mind is generally inoffensive but just very bland. I don’t like Sam’s vocal acrobatics here much and, like you, much prefer their early collaborations and dance oriented stuff

I do actually really love reggae… usually, but Rude’s ‘white boy’ cod reggae pastiche is awful. Very few artists have pulled that one off (I’m thinking maybe early Police). It just seems so contrived and calculated, aiming for the mass (US?) audience. And the song’s vibe is a bit too close to Maroon 5isms for my liking. Hate the lyrics too, asking fathers permission to marry his daughter. What, are we in the 19th Century? Not MAGIC! At all!